Go Forward Slowly

by Whitney Cannon

  “What is all this?” Wes asked, motioning around.

  “I’m building a boat,” Patton said and Wes’s gaze snapped to his.

  “A boat?”

  Patton nodded.

  “Like a real, climb in and hope you don’t sink boat?”

  Patton chuckled, a smile lighting up his face. “That’s the idea, yeah. It would suck to put in months of work, only to have the thing sink on her maiden voyage. We’re hopefully not recreating the Titanic, Wisconsin-version.”

  Wes stared at Patton with his hands on his hips and after a moment of complete silence, Patton squirmed, obviously finding Wes’s scrutiny uncomfortable. Wes shook his head, a smirk pulling at his lips as he looked back at the pile of what would undoubtedly be a beautiful, very capable vessel one day. He pulled in a big breath, then blew it out loudly, finally glancing back at Patton who was watching him in return.

  His brown eyes and rounded cheeks were altogether new to Wes since they’d only known each other a short time, but Wes knew he could easily dream of Patton’s face and would, without a doubt, be using it and his wintertime fantasies later that day in the shower. The more Wes learned about Patton, the bigger the crush grew that he was developing on him, and the more the guy just got his blood pumping.

  “You are truly incredible, Patton. I hope you know that. I find myself, half the time, speechless around you.” Wes shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down at the ground. “Please don’t take this the wrong way or get weirded out or anything, but I’m fairly sure that I have a crush on you.” Wes gulped and stared intently at what was probably an inch thick instruction manual, doing his absolute best to avoid seeing Patton’s reaction. He knew he was the type of person to own his own feelings, but that didn’t mean that he’d needed to lay his heart on the line quite so dramatically. He didn’t even know whose team Patton batted for.

  As the seconds ticked by and Patton didn’t say anything, Wes shifted his weight and glanced at the other boy. Patton met his gaze with wide eyes and nodded slightly, shrugging one shoulder. He was telling Wes that he understood, without saying a word.

  Wes’s shoulders slumped in relief and he let out a breath, again grateful to Patton for understanding and not making a big deal out of it. He wasn’t sure what he would have feared more: rejection or disgust.

  “So you’re building a boat?” Wes offered, changing the subject and Patton seemed relieved to grasp the new thread, launching into the details of his baby. He would be building a small dinghy that he hoped to have assembled and sailing by next summer.

  As Wes listened to him talk and explain the process of boat-building, he was fairly sure his poor underused teenaged heart had finally met its match.

  Chapter 9

  As the days passed, Patton found himself unexpectedly looking forward to Homecoming. He’d been juggling his time between Wesleys’s group of friends, who he was starting to think of more and more as his friends as well, and his choir friends.

  He’d invited Wesley to eat with him a few times in return, so he could get to know some of the people Patton hung out with. Wesley had laughed his ass off, after the fact, of course, when he’d finally met Parker one day in the hall. The girl was a sophomore and only came up to Wesley’s mid-chest. She was a nice enough girl, but Wes had found it hilarious to know that she had been the girl who’d inquired about whether or not he was going to Homecoming.

  And if Patton were being completely honest, knowing he was the one going with Wesley to Homecoming made little butterflies erupt in his stomach.

  Almost everything about Wesley made butterflies erupt in his stomach these days.

  Ever since that day he’d brought Wesley over to his house and Wesley had confessed that he had a crush on him, Patton had looked at him in a new light. Sure, he’d checked Wesley out on more than one occasion and there had been that one moment in his bedroom, but over the last two weeks since Wesley’s declaration, while they’d been spending more and more time together, it had become quite apparent to Patton that he really did like Wesley that way.

  He’d honestly been floored by Wesley’s confession. No one had ever liked him before, boy or girl. He’d always been the chubby kid that no one looked twice at. Definitely more the acquaintance type of friend that would be asked for favors than anyone’s best friend, with the exception of a few years in elementary school, and certainly no one’s love interest. When all anyone could see was the outside, not many people had taken the time to get to know Patton’s inner geek.

  For some reason though, he hadn’t been scared or worried about what Wesley would think of his home and bedroom, maybe a little anxious, sure, but Wesley had unleashed plenty of his own geekish-ness over their short friendship to know the other boy wouldn’t judge. But to hear praise and compliments, something Patton generally only got from his parents and teachers, coming from Wesley, had been huge. Then Wes had confessed to actually having a crush on him? Patton was still working that one out.

  Admittedly, Patton felt better knowing his own interest in the other boy had been there before Wes had confessed to liking him, and knowing that Wes returned his feelings made Patton’s nerves both zing and settle at the same time. The boy was gorgeous, smart, funny, and the best friend Patton had ever had.

  Wesley had been nothing but nice to him since their very first meeting, treating him like any other friend. He’d initiated the beginnings of what they had today, and had, on more than one occasion, told Patton how incredible he thought he was. Perhaps it was time for Patton to return the sentiment.

  They were meeting again, as had become their routine, bright and early Sunday morning for a slow jog around the lake, and Patton had planned a little after-exercise treat for them that he’d woken up early to prepare. It was still in keeping with his meal plan and already he’d lost almost fifteen pounds, but every once in a while, he snuck in something a little different. Changing things up kept him from missing his old favorites too much.

  He arrived before Wesley and after he parked his car, he got out and started the stretching routine Wesley had suggested for him. He’d been doing it almost every morning and even sometimes in the evening if he was able to get in a little workout of his own. It really did appear to be helping and already he was only a few inches away from touching his toes. Mr. Dunlap had been impressed on Friday when they’d done their first one-on-one’s with him to discuss their plan of attack for their assignment. Between Wesley’s admiration, Mr. Dunlap’s praise, and the reflection of the scale, Patton’s confidence was definitely enjoying the boost.

  Wesley pulled in only a few minutes later and grinned as he got out. “Good morning. You look happy for it being so early,” Wesley commented.

  “I am happy. I’m finding that I have so much more energy lately so I got up early and made us a treat.”

  “You did? What did you make?” he asked eagerly. For the most part, Wesley had been following the new meal plan too and even though he wasn’t looking to lose weight, he was changing things up a little to hopefully gain a few pounds and add a little bulk to his willowy frame. He almost always had either water or a protein drink with him now.

  “You’ll have to wait and see, and if I’m not dead at the end of this run, we can eat it together by our rock.”

  “What if you are dead? Can I eat your portion too?” Wesley teased as he stretched his thigh.

  “No. You don’t get to eat any of it because it will be the last thing I ever made, and you’ll have to preserve it some way as my last act of kindness on this earth.”

  Wesley chuckled. “You’re such a dork.”

  “You like it,” Patton teased, feeling a moment of confidence in their banter and trying his hand at some subtle flirting.

  Wesley smiled at him. “You know I do.” He gazed serenely at Patton for a moment before he spoke again. “I’m looking forward to Saturday.”

  Patton drew in a small breath, returning Wesley’s gaze. He had been thinking the same thing only minutes
ago. It was time for him to throw Wesley a bit of reassurance. “Me too.” He gulped, searching for that confidence. “I know we said we were only going as friends, but… Now, maybe it feels like a little more…”

  Wes’s eyes widened a little and he froze, staring back at Patton. “What do you mean? What are you saying?” he whispered. He looked like he’d stopped breathing.

  Confidence… Deep breath. “That I like you, and I’m looking forward to going with you on Saturday. And maybe…” He looked down. Could he do this?

  “Maybe?” Wesley croaked, clearly asking for Patton to continue.

  “Maybe,” he murmured, finally looking up at Wesley again. “We could go as a little more than friends.”

  “Like?”

  Patton huffed, almost wanting to stamp his foot and earned himself a smile from Wesley. “I don’t know, okay. I just like you and I thought… I don’t know what I thought. Maybe that we might be a little more than friends, not that I’m suggesting anything else.” He pointed at Wesley who was smiling hugely and looking awfully smug. “Just that it feels different now, okay? Like, at first we were barely friends just getting to know each other, and now you’re probably my best friend and even that’s not quite right—”

  “Does it feel like you want to spend more time with me?” Wesley interrupted, causing Patton to pause. “Or get to know me better? Or maybe even hug me?” Wesley continued. “Because I want to do all those things with you. So, if that’s what you mean by more, then, yes, I’m looking forward to going with you on Saturday as more than friends too.”

  Patton slumped, feeling totally relieved. He hadn’t wanted to go so far as suggesting the “b” word and found himself grateful that Wesley had understood and not used that word either. That was going to take a whole heap of confidence Patton knew he didn’t have yet.

  He smiled ruefully and waved his hand in a vague gesture. “Yeah. All of that. What you just said.”

  Wesley laughed and stepped closer to him. “Do you think we can skip right to the hugging part? Because we’ve already been spending more time together and getting to know each other better. If more includes hugging, then I’m totally cool skipping right to that step.”

  Almost giggling, Patton closed the distance between them and wrapped Wesley up in a hug. Wesley wrapped his arms around Patton in return, and they stood there quietly for a few moments, finally getting the chance to be close to each other. It wasn’t sexual or really even all that romantic, for Patton it was more about connecting with Wesley and enjoying his presence. Having Wesley’s slender frame in his arms felt nice in a way he’d not experienced before.

  When they finally separated, Wesley had that look on his face, and Patton knew he wasn’t ready for it. He looked down, hoping that Wesley would understand.

  “Hey,” Wesley said softly, drawing Patton’s gaze again. “It’s okay. Slowly, yeah?”

  Patton nodded and Wesley smiled back at him. They looked at each other for a moment, Patton taking in the features of Wesley’s face that were becoming so familiar to him. His dark eyes that always seemed to have a bit of pop to them, perfectly manicured eyebrows, his slender, straight nose, high cheekbones, and lips that looked really red and shiny.

  Well… Maybe he was ready for the look in Wesley’s eyes…

  “Eyes up here, Patton or things aren’t going to be going very slowly if you keep staring at me like that.”

  Patton snapped his eyes up to Wesley’s, heat flooding his cheeks. He brought his hands up and covered his face in total mortification, and Wesley chuckled. He came over and wrapped his arms around Patton again, trapping his forearms between their chests. Patton was all too aware of Wesley’s presence this time and immediately noticed the smell of the other boy’s skin, deodorant, laundry soap, whatever it was that made him smell so incredible, and the weight and feeling of his arms as they wrapped around his back and shoulders. Being the taller of the two, Wesley rested his head alongside Patton’s above his ear and gently ran his hand up and down Patton’s back in a soothing manner.

  “I didn't mean to embarrass you. I’m certainly not going to complain if you want to look at me like that again, but I can’t make any promises that I won’t react to it in a physical way and want to haul you off someplace and maul you, okay? As a horny, gay sixteen-year-old, that’s pretty much all I’m thinking about when I’m with you anyway.” Patton groaned and buried his face deeper into his hands. Wesley chuckled. “Sorry, but that look will be starring in my mind for a while. Just having this conversation with you would have been enough. The fact that you think of us as more than friends makes me so incredibly happy because I could never really get a read on you. I didn’t want to assume anything just because you sing, but just for clarity’s sake, you are gay, right? Or, are you only curious and not really sure yet?”

  “I’m gay,” Patton groaned from his hiding spot. “Just never done anything or liked anyone before.” He snorted. “Okay, that was a lie. I’ve liked plenty of guys, but just like you, in the beginning, they didn’t even know I was alive, not that they would have been interested anyway. Definitely never done anything with anyone though.”

  Wesley squeezed him tighter. “Well, I’m sure if I had known you were alive, I would have been plenty interested. I’m plenty interested now and very glad that you’re alive. Would you like to feel how interested I am?” Wesley teased and Patton groaned again, making a half-hearted attempt to get free. He only succeeded in freeing his trapped arms which Wesley captured and drew around his own back, holding Patton to him. “I’m teasing. Relax.”

  Patton gave in and finally wrapped his arms fully around Wesley again.

  “Since we’re sharing,” Wesley continued, hugging Patton back. “I’ve liked plenty of guys too but never done anything with anyone. I think my tendency to be slightly more out there than normal keeps people at bay. Not many boys are interested in boys who wear eyeliner and paint their nails.”

  Patton grunted. “I think you look amazing with your eyes done. You look too normal otherwise.”

  Wesley chuckled. “Thanks. Wouldn’t want to look too normal now would we?”

  Patton pulled back and looked into Wesley’s eyes. “No.”

  It was Wesley’s turn to groan, and he pulled away completely. “Okay. Time for a run. I need to burn off some of this excess energy.”

  Patton snickered this time.

  “Laugh it up all you want. Just wait until you’re the one trying to run with a boner.”

  Patton doubled over, chortling with delight as Wesley snickered and did some more quick stretches, and as Patton finally got himself under control, they took to their path at a slow jog that would be leaving Patton sore and out of breath in no time.

  — — —

  As Saturday rolled around, Patton got out his only decent pants and after a quick try-on session, was equally glad and frustrated that they no longer fit him. He was only frustrated because it was Friday afternoon, and they were all meeting up for the game in a couple of hours and the next day was the dance. He hadn’t really figured his pants wouldn’t fit him anymore.

  He quickly threw on his best button-down and with great dismay, discovered it too was quite loose around his shoulders and middle as well.

  Pulling out his phone, he quickly dialed Wesley.

  “Hey—” Wesley stumbled and Patton knew he’d suppressed the urge to insert an endearment. “What’s up? Did you miss me already?”

  “Yes, and none of my clothes fit,” Patton whined. “We’re going to the dance tomorrow and my dress clothes don’t fit anymore. Will you come shopping with me, please?”

  Wesley chuckled, the sound warming Patton’s mood. “Of course I’ll go shopping with you. You want to come get me so we don’t have to take two cars?”

  “Yeah, I’ll have to bring the girls unless Tiffani can take them at the shop. Let me call her and see if she has any clients this afternoon, okay? I’ll text you when I’m on my way.”

  “Sounds good.
Hey, real quick before you go?” Wesley called before Patton disconnected.

  “Yeah?”

  “Do you want to come watch me tomorrow at my meet?”

  “Like, your cross country meet?”

  “Yeah. It’s not super fun to watch because we’re just running laps around this huge park, but it would be cool to have you there if you want to come. My next one isn’t until right before Halloween.”

  “Sure, I guess. It might be fun to see you all sweaty and gross.”

  Wesley chuckled. “Cool. Call Tiff and I’ll go get ready. Hey! I just realized you’ve never been here before. I’ll text you my address, okay?”

  “Sounds good. See you in a bit.”

  “Bye.”

  Patton disconnected the call, and a quick call to Tiffani later, he had the girls buckled into the back and was on his way to pick up Wesley.

  Wesley’s house was a smaller single-story home in a cute neighborhood that really was only a block over from the lake. Patton wondered how he hadn’t been there yet since they’d spent the last two Sundays meeting up at the lake for their run/walks.

  He texted Wesley that he was there and only a moment later the door opened and Wesley popped out. He waved and loped over to the car, climbing into the front next to him.

  “Hi,” he said, looking at Patton with a smile on his face.

  “Hi,” Patton returned, feeling an equally large grin on his face as well. He had the urge to pull Wesley into a hug and sniff him, but the girls called out their greetings from the back and Wesley winked before he turned to greet them.

  “So what’s the plan?” Wesley asked as he turned his attention back to Patton.

  “Drop the girls off at the salon and hit the mall, I guess. Where do you usually shop?” Patton asked as he pulled away from the curb.

  “The mall. Though my mom would probably come with me if I was shopping for something nice.”