A Father's Pledge

by Eleanor Jones

  Millie nodded.

  “You can do a few visits, and you don’t have to go back to live there until you’re sure it’s what you want.”

  Her face said it all.

  Today, thought Kat, as she gathered up her notes and books after Millie’s time was up, she felt good about her work. It wasn’t often that both her sessions went well; sometimes she came away sad and depressed after being unable to get through to the child she was trying to help. Both Robert and Millie had been at Flight for a while, and she had just taken over from their previous therapist, so she couldn’t take all the credit for their improvement. Still, it was satisfying to think that she’d been a part of helping them get their lives back on track.

  Buoyed by her rewarding morning, she went straight over to Mike’s office.

  To Kat’s disappointment, Mike was less than hopeful about the possibility of her seeing Mollie Jackson. “I did mention it to the social worker,” he said. “But she didn’t think it was a good idea. Mollie is under a lot of strain, and she couldn’t see it being very helpful for Ben, anyway. Ben’s grandfather had surgery several months ago, and his recovery has been poor. Caring for him takes up all Mollie’s time.”

  “I just need to understand what Ben’s been going through a bit better,” Kat pleaded. “If you give me her address, I’ll go and visit her myself.”

  Mike shook his head. “I couldn’t let you do that. It would be very unprofessional to turn up on her doorstep. Look, Kat, why don’t you let Ben tell you what’s bothering him in his own time.”

  Disgruntled, Kat bit her lip. He was right, of course; there were codes of conduct to follow, but it had been worth a try. “I understand. While I’m here, can we talk about my animal-therapy idea?” she asked, changing tack.

  She could practically hear Mike’s inward groan. Obviously she’d caught him on a bad day. “I’ve been thinking about that, too,” he began.

  “And?”

  “And I think you need to concentrate on your sea and nature exercises for a bit longer before we embark on the new project. There are a lot of health and safety issues to consider.”

  Disappointment clawed at her insides. Mike had been so enthusiastic about the idea when she’d first suggested it, so what had happened to make him change his mind?

  “Luke has been trying to talk you out of it, hasn’t he?” she said, realizing at once that hurling accusations was the wrong approach.

  “This is coming straight from me,” Mike remarked in a cool tone. “As I said, there are a lot of issues to consider first, and the children’s safety has to be a priority.”

  “But I was only going to have rabbits and guinea pigs to begin with,” she objected. “Maybe pet lambs in the spring—gentle, harmless creatures that will encourage the children to be kind and caring.”

  To her relief, she detected a softening in Mike’s unexpectedly harsh expression. “I’m not saying never,” he said. “And I suppose you could start small by getting some rabbits and the like, as long as you make sure that they’re well-handled and won’t bite or anything.”

  “Can I use the old outbuildings in the garden?” she asked eagerly. “I’ll clean them out on my days off.”

  Mike raised his hand. “Whoa, steady on. I’m not going that far yet. Can’t you keep them at home for a while? And in a few weeks when they’ve settled in, you can introduce me to them and we can talk about keeping them here at school. That will give us time to do the safety checks and get parental permission.”

  Kat sighed. This was as good as she was going to get for now. “Okay. It’s a start at least.” She stopped and turned on her way out the door. “It was Luke who made you think twice, though, wasn’t it?”

  Mike smiled, his good humor restored. “He didn’t really object, just made me realize that I have to take the health-and-safety side of it seriously...and he’s right.”

  “Of course. But I’d already considered all that. I have run these courses before, you know.”

  “I know you have. I think Luke just worries about Ben. The idea of being a dad scares him—you can see it from a mile away. He’s floundering and he doesn’t want to fail. Don’t tell him I said so, though... And, Kat!”

  “Yes?”

  “I really am still enthusiastic about your animal therapy. We just need to get it right.”

  “We will,” she promised. “You’ll see. Luke getting it right with Ben may take a little longer, though.”

  “Don’t be too hard on him,” urged Mike. “Luke, I mean. I think he feels guilty about neglecting Ben up to now, but he’s trying to make amends.”

  Kat couldn’t help a sharp retort. “He should feel guilty. He took the easy option when Ben was small and now he’s paying the price. A child’s trust is difficult to win—you have to earn it—and as far as Ben is concerned, his dad is a total stranger who has never wanted anything to do with him before.”

  Mike nodded and sighed. “I’m well aware. On a lighter note, are you going to Wayne’s party?”

  “Luke mentioned it... Do you think I should?”

  “Of course you should. They’d be disappointed if you weren’t there. It’s a surprise party, though, so not a word to Wayne. He doesn’t want a fuss. Fat chance of that with Mel in charge.”

  “Mel seems nice,” Kat said. “And I love the way everyone here is so welcoming. I feel as if I’ve been here for years rather than just a few months.”

  Mike raised his eyebrows. “Despite the situation with Luke?”

  “That’s simply an obstacle to be overcome. We both have Ben’s best interests at heart—that’s the main thing.”

  “But different methods.”

  Kat laughed. “Yeah...something like that.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  BEN SURVEYED HIS room in dismay. At home, he’d never had to clean up his own mess because there had always been a cleaner to pick up after him. Later, when everything went wrong and all the staff left, he’d just left it in a mess. His grandma had kind of stopped noticing; she didn’t notice anything anymore...certainly not him, not even when he did things to try to get her attention. He didn’t like to think about it because it made him sad, but the mess in his room had brought it all back to him.

  He closed his eyes tight, trying not to cry and trying not to remember the way his grandma used to love him, before Granddad... Rubbing his hand across his nose, he ran down the stairs and out into the sunshine. He refused to think about Granddad.

  As he headed toward the garden, he saw that man, Luke. They said he was his dad, but that was stupid; he didn’t have a dad. And the person who’d come closest was gone.

  Ben didn’t like Luke. He was bossy and fussy and he was always getting at Kat. Kat, he did like. She was nice to him, but that didn’t mean she’d stay. No one ever stayed, and sometimes even when they seemed like they were still there, they weren’t. Like Granddad.

  Everything used to be so good. Then his mum died and everything changed. His grandma had sent him here because they didn’t want him anymore; he knew that. She’d warned him again and again that she would send him away if he carried on being loud and refusing to do as he was told. But no one even noticed he was there when he was quiet; at least he knew when they were shouting at him that he had everyone’s full attention.

  Ben ducked behind a tree before Luke saw him and started to run, clenching his fists tight and going so fast he got a pain in his chest. He liked that because it stopped him from thinking about Granddad and home.

  Ben stopped running when he got to the wildflower garden, his favorite place at Flight. His granddad had a wildflower garden, and Ben used to help with it. After Granddad changed, no one took care of it anymore...or of the smooth green lawns with their beautiful borders.

  “Pretty, isn’t it?” a voice behind him asked and he spun around in sh
ock to see Luke. “Do you like flowers?”

  Ben shrugged, donning his couldn’t-care-less cloak; he’d worn it a lot before he came here.

  * * *

  LUKE TRIED AGAIN. “It’s nice here, isn’t it?”

  Ben shrugged, and Luke gave up on the small talk. “Actually, I’ve been looking for you. I wondered if you’d like to come to town with me and choose a bike... Every boy should have a bike.”

  “I did have a bike.”

  Ben’s tone was angry, and his stance held aggression, but as far as Luke was concerned, any response was progress. “Come with me. It’ll be fun,” he suggested brightly.

  Ben shook his head. “No, I don’t want to.”

  “Oh, well...” Luke turned on his heel. “Your loss.”

  “Is Miss coming?”

  A surge of irritation made Luke want to keep on walking. But he was the adult. The dad. He had to be a good role model for his son. “Miss who?” he asked, turning around.

  “Miss Kat,” said Ben. “The sea lady.”

  “Do you want her to?”

  Ben scowled, rounding his shoulders in the way that was becoming quite familiar to Luke. “Not really bothered.”

  “And will you come if she does?” Luke asked him.

  “I might.”

  “So I’ll ask her?”

  Ben walked away, head down and shoulders hunched. “Can if you like,” he muttered.

  Luke let out an exasperated sigh once Ben was out of earshot. How was he going to go about asking Kat? They were hardly best friends. The opposite, if he was honest with himself. And did he really want to spend an afternoon in her company? Perhaps he should just forget the whole idea. But no, he reminded himself. This was for Ben’s sake. If he needed to invite Kat along in order to interest his son in spending time with him, he’d do it.

  Luke saw Kat later as she was leaving the school to go home. She came out the front doors just as he was about to go in.

  “Hello,” she said with a brief, impassive smile. He nodded, noting how she’d neatly tied back her sleek, dark hair with something blue and floral. It matched her eyes. He struggled for words, and when they didn’t come, he wondered if it was a sign. If Ben wanted a bike then he could have one, but taking Kat along was something else.

  * * *

  AS USUAL, KAT FELT awkward when she saw Luke. She smiled determinedly with no hesitation in her step, but just for an instant their eyes met and her heart thumped a little harder in her chest. He opened his mouth and closed it again, as if he’d wanted to say something but changed his mind. No, she decided, she was just being overimaginative. Anyway, there was nothing he could say that would be of any interest to her. They didn’t see eye to eye about anything, and Mike had admitted it was Luke who’d persuaded him to stall on her animal venture. The man was nothing but a thorn in her side.

  She walked quickly down the pathway to Cove Road. As soon as she reached her bright red door and pulled her shiny fish key ring from her pocket, a sense of peace settled over her. She paused for a moment to look out across the bay, feeling blessed. The sea was sparkling and calm and the sky was a clear, pale blue. Way out near the horizon she could see a tiny boat, and along the shore, where it was less secluded, a dinghy was just casting off at Tanners’ boatyard. A young man with dark hair jumped into the dinghy while his companion, a slim, young blonde woman, hovered cautiously on the jetty. He laughed, urging her to step in beside him, and when she eventually plucked up the courage, he pulled her to him, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her tenderly.

  Kat turned away, feeling uncomfortable to be watching such a private moment, and not sure what to do with the longing it had unlocked inside her. What would it be like to fall in love, to have that certain someone who knew your every thought? She stepped into the cottage, suddenly lonely. Her job had always been enough for her, and the boyfriends she’d had along the way had had to take second place to fulfilling her ambitions. Now, though, she had time on her hands, and deep down, if she was honest with herself, part of her longed for what her poor mother had never had—someone to love who would truly love her back. Someone to share her whole life with.

  Luke’s face sprang into Kat’s mind; there was something about him that drew her in, but there were far too many issues between them for it ever to go anywhere. He was against everything she did, for a start, and as his son’s therapist, she had to keep things on a professional footing. Getting too friendly with Luke would compromise both her career and Ben’s healing.

  Before she closed the door behind her, she couldn’t resist another glance at the young couple. They sat side by side, his arm flung around her shoulders as the dinghy headed out into the smooth, sparkling sea. The girl’s hair blew in the breeze as she threw back her head, laughing at something the young man was saying. Their closeness was so apparent, even at this distance, and Kat was once again beset by loneliness.

  She closed the door firmly behind her and leaned against it, taking a breath. She had her own place now, her independence and a worthwhile job that she loved; that was what she needed to focus on. Today had been a mixed bag, but there was always tomorrow, and Mike hadn’t said no to her animal-therapy course. She would start doing risk assessments, she decided, to show him she was serious. And she’d do as he suggested and begin acquiring some animals. Perhaps she could bring the children here, to Cove Road, to get to know them. In understanding and caring for the animals, the children could learn to be responsible, to care and nurture and immerse themselves in the realities of nature: its stability and its cruelty. They could learn to love with nothing to gain but fulfillment. They could learn resilience and adaptability.

  The idea of getting a dog came back into her mind. If she did decide to find one, it would have to be a dog, or pup, that loved attention...a Labrador, maybe.

  * * *

  BY SEVEN THIRTY the next morning, Luke was already out at work, carrying fence rails across the garden. The property backed onto open fields, where milk cows grazed, and the thought of them rampaging around the smooth green lawns and flower beds had been quite enough to inspire him to make a start on fixing the fence.

  Last night all he’d been able to think about was whether or not to ask Kat to come to town with him and Ben. Of course, Ben still hadn’t agreed to go, but surely he wouldn’t refuse the opportunity, especially if Kat came with them. Having her along would be tough for Luke, though. If he was totally honest with himself, it hurt to see Ben getting so close to Kat while adamantly rejecting him. And that thought, in turn, made him feel guilty. He should be happy to see his son showing an emotion other than anger, even if that emotion didn’t include him. And he could see why Ben was drawn to her; there was something about Kat, something real and appealing, something that would appeal to him, too, in different circumstances.

  Fixing the fence proved to be harder than he’d expected, and the weather was uncomfortably hot. By lunchtime, Luke was dripping with sweat and his shoulders were aching. Still, he was determined to get the job done, so he worked through his usual break.

  At two o’clock, he stood back in satisfaction, surveying his handiwork. The cows, interested in the goings-on, ambled over to the fence, poked their huge heads into the garden and mooed loudly.

  “Too late, girls,” Luke called. “You won’t get in now.”

  Their big brown eyes stared back at him inquisitively, reminding him of Kat’s animal-therapy plans. Animals accepted you for what you were—he got that. Maybe her ideas weren’t quite as out there as he’d first thought.

  CHAPTER TEN

  AT EIGHT THIRTY Kat left the cottage. It was only a five-minute walk to Flight, and her first session wasn’t for another hour, but she liked to get to the school in plenty of time. She walked slowly, taking in the glorious view and thinking about the young couple the night before, setting off in the
ir dinghy, basking in each other’s love. Again came the pang of loneliness and she increased her stride.

  Today was her last session with Millie before she went back home for a trial period. Instead of the short visits Kat had proposed, after a discussion between Mike, Kat and Millie’s social worker, it had been decided that the best way forward was for Millie to go back to her mum for a trial period under constant assessment. It was going to be a huge step, so Kat had spent yesterday afternoon deciding how to approach this meeting so she could boost the little girl’s confidence. As she walked, Kat went through the little talk she’d prepared, about having enough self-belief to make anything happen, and about staying true to one’s self. It sounded a bit pompous when she recited it to herself; maybe she’d follow Millie’s lead and say what felt right in the moment. She would make sure Millie knew there was always a way back if things didn’t work out.

  It was hot already, Kat noted, glad that she’d chosen to wear a lightweight summer dress in her favorite shade of blue. She scraped her long dark hair back as she walked, tying it up high on her head. Today was going to be a scorcher.

  She saw Luke as she walked around the back of the main building to the room where she held her therapy sessions. He was by the fence at the very end of the garden, swinging a hammer to knock in one of the fence posts. She wondered if he’d ever tried to get Ben involved with such a physical activity. Perhaps she’d suggest it—not that he’d take any notice of any of her ideas.

  The morning flew by so fast once she’d started her sessions that Kat didn’t realize she’d missed lunch until she’d finished writing up her notes. Glancing at the clock, she hurriedly filed her papers, hoping she’d still be able to get something to eat in the kitchen. As she walked toward the door, she heard a gentle knock. When it came again, more urgently, she opened the door. “Can I help you?” she asked.

  To her surprise, it was Ben. He was stepping from foot to foot, looking nervous. “Are you coming with us to get my bike?” he asked gruffly.