A Father's Pledge

by Eleanor Jones

  Mollie looked tiny, sitting in a huge armchair. “Your hair’s gone whiter, Grandma,” Ben pointed out and she laughed, supporting herself on the chair arm as she stood.

  “And you’ve grown taller,” she responded. “Now come and give your old grandma a hug.”

  Ben hesitated for a moment before running across to throw his arms around her. “Oh, I’ve missed you,” she told him, and he squeezed her tighter.

  “Can I come home now?” he asked. “I’ll be good.”

  “Oh, Benny boy,” she murmured. “I only wish you could, but it’s...”

  Sensing Mollie’s distress, Luke stepped in. “We’re doing okay here, though, aren’t we, Ben?” he said. “And now you’re going to have April to keep you company, too.”

  For a second, Ben appeared unconvinced, but then his face brightened. “I’ve got you a present,” he announced proudly, pulling a silver heart from his pocket. Luke recognized it from that day on the beach. “Perhaps it’ll be like Aladdin’s lamp and make everything better.”

  Mollie took the silver chain from him, holding out the heart and rubbing it gently with her thumb. “Oh, I hope so, Ben,” she said quietly. “So, if I make a wish, do you think it might come true?”

  “Only if you don’t tell anyone what you wished for,” he said, his face tight and serious as he watched Mollie frown with concentration. “Have you done it yet?”

  “I’ve done it,” she told him, returning to the chair. “Now, why don’t you sit here right beside me and tell me all about what you’ve been doing with yourself, and then we’ll go see April and the chickens.”

  * * *

  KAT STRAIGHTENED AND restraightened the sea items on the shelves before going to inspect the animal quarters one last time. The rack was full of sweet meadow hay for April, the chicken feeder bulged with golden corn, and the wire fence outside had been checked and double-checked. All she needed now were occupants.

  The truck, a large, bright red pickup driven by a burly farmer, arrived twenty minutes later.

  Kat stood at the ready, a huge smile on her face. “You must be Steve,” she said, grabbing his broad hand and shaking it as soon as he opened his door.

  “The very same,” the man said. “Now, where do you want these critters?”

  Steve led April into the enclosure first, and she was happily exploring her new pen, already chewing on the green meadow hay, when Mollie’s car pulled up. Steve was in the midst of unloading the crates of chickens, so Luke hurried across to help him. Ben jumped out of the back seat, hardly able to contain his excitement.

  “Why don’t you go and see April,” suggested Mollie. She leaned on her cane in obvious discomfort, and as soon as Ben disappeared into the shed, Kat went over to talk to her.

  “Are you all right?” she asked.

  Mollie smiled. “Just tired.”

  “Did you have a good chat with Ben?”

  The old lady pulled the silver heart from her pocket. “He gave me this,” she said. “He told me to rub it and make a wish, like Aladdin’s lamp. If only real life worked like that.”

  “He found the silver heart in the flotsam and jetsam, so who knows what it is or where it came from... Perhaps he’s right,” Kat offered.

  Mollie slipped it back into her pocket, a thoughtful, serious expression on her lined face.

  “Is something else bothering you?” Kat asked.

  Mollie placed a frail hand on her arm. “Look, I really appreciate all you have done for Ben, here at Flight—I wanted you to know that. But there’s something else I need to talk to you about before I leave.”

  “Why don’t we go see what they’re up to, and I’ll make you a nice cup of tea in my cottage after.”

  Mollie shook her head. “Oh, no, don’t worry about that—they gave us tea and cakes at the school and I need to get back for... I’ll just go in and see the animals and perhaps you and I can have a chat out here afterward.”

  “Sure,” Kat said, suddenly jittery. It was the serious expression on Mollie’s face, she supposed.

  Seeing Ben play with April made Kat’s heart hurt. He seemed so happy.

  “She’s a Masham,” he declared, looking up at her with a broad smile. “That’s why she’s so small...right, Steve?”

  The farmer nodded. “They’re a small breed, Mashams.”

  “She’s beautiful,” Kat agreed. April must have made a real impression on Ben when she was a lamb, even if he’d refused to take care of her. The scene reconfirmed what Kat was already aware of: that what troubled children put out to the world was not necessarily what they were feeling inside.

  “Can I name the chickens?” Ben asked eagerly as the mishmash of hens emerged cautiously from their crates.

  “Course you can,” Mollie said. “I picked them up from all over the place—that’s why they’re all so different.”

  “Perhaps you should get some of the other children to help you,” Kat suggested.

  “Well...they are Ben’s chickens,” Mollie reminded her.

  “I’m going to call the two gray ones Cuckoo One and Cuckoo Two,” Ben announced before Kat could say anything else.

  Mollie smiled proudly. “That’s clever. They’re Cuckoo Marans, so you got that right...and the little brown-and-black one is a Welsummer.”

  When Ben went over to check out the rest of the chickens, Mollie turned to Kat. “It’s so nice to see him like this,” she said. “He was in a very dark and unmanageable place when I...when he came here.”

  “He still has his moments,” Kat admitted. “But I can already tell that the animals will work wonders. Anyway, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?”

  Kat followed Mollie back outside, sitting down beside her on a bench at the edge of the lane.

  “The thing is,” Mollie began slowly, as if searching for the right words. “As I said, I really appreciate all you have done with Ben, but no matter how much his behavior improves there is no way he can come back home to us.”

  Kat’s stomach twisted painfully. She understood this was a possibility, of course, and Ben wouldn’t be the first child she’d worked with who was unable to return to where he’d come from. But for some reason this hurt more than she was used to. “Why not?”

  “My Jim is in a bad way,” Mollie explained. “He takes up all my time...and my arthritis is rapidly getting worse. I know I’m never going to be able to take care of Ben again, and it’s breaking my heart. So I want the next best thing for him, and that is his father. I want Luke to have full custody.”

  “And you’ve told Luke this?”

  Mollie nodded. “I spoke to him earlier, and I’ve had a long conversation with Ben, too... He thinks the world of you.”

  Kat nodded slowly. “He’s a great boy and I’m only too pleased to be of help.”

  “He needs to develop his relationship with his father, though—properly bond with him, I mean.”

  “We’re working on that,” Kat said, alarm bells pinging.

  Mollie hesitated and then she took a deep breath, as if determined to say her piece. “The thing is...after talking to him, and to Luke, it seems to me that as long as you are around, he is never going to accept Luke into his life.”

  “But I’m Ben’s therapist,” Kat cried. “And we get on so well... I’ve made so much headway.”

  “That’s true,” Mollie agreed. “But perhaps it would be better if he changed therapists...so that he can move on with his life and gain some security with his father.”

  Before Kat could respond, Ben raced out of the shed, reciting the names he’d settled on. “Rosie and Snowflake and Goldie—what do you think?”

  “They’re great names, Ben,” Kat told him, sadness settling on her heart. Ben was doing much better than when he’d arrived, but he still had a way to go. Changing t
herapists could cause a huge setback.

  * * *

  KAT SPENT THE next few days stewing over Mollie’s suggestion. She thought she’d made progress on stepping back into a more professional role with both Luke and Ben, encouraging them to bond. Surely Luke didn’t want her out of Ben’s life. She needed to talk to him, but the animals kept her busy and he’d made himself scarce since the weekend. She wondered if that was by design.

  After April arrived, Ben had taken his responsibility toward her seriously, coming down to Elsa’s shed as often as he could to see to her and the chickens. One of the carers or teachers would drop him off on their way home, and Kat would see him safely back to school. It worried her a little, after what both Mike and Mollie had said, to be spending so much time alone with Ben. But he still hadn’t become very close with the other children, and he rarely brought a companion with him, despite her encouragement. Luke didn’t object, though, and Ben seemed happy and grounded when he was feeding April or mucking out her stall, so Kat decided to let things lie for now.

  To her surprise, Luke turned up at the shed the following Saturday. She’d seen him briefly at Flight over the course of the week, but their conversations had been brief and polite. Whenever Kat had tried to draw him into a deeper discussion, he had made an excuse.

  “Hello,” she said in a forcedly casual tone when he walked in the door. “Did you want to see me about something?”

  He shook his head. “Not really. I just wondered how things were going.”

  “Good,” she said. “Ben’s doing great.” She paused, realizing this was her moment to tell him what was on her mind. “Do you know what Mollie said to me?” she blurted. “Did it come from you?”

  “Sit down,” he urged, sitting beside her on the ancient wooden bench. He took hold of her hand, allowing it to rest in his lap. “We talked, Mollie and I, and she spoke to Ben, too, on her own. I didn’t interfere.”

  “But you knew she was going to tell me I shouldn’t be his therapist anymore, that I was holding Ben back from forging a proper bond with you?”

  He nodded briefly. “Yes, and maybe that’s true. I want what’s best for Ben, and we need to get on the same page as soon as possible if this custody thing is going to work. When Mollie told me her plan...frankly, I was terrified. Still am.” He took a deep breath. “What if I can’t cope? But I was pleased, too. Kat, I want this to work so much. I know I have to step up, and part of that is making sure he gets the help he needs. I believe he needs you in his life for a little while longer.” He looked into her eyes, picking up her other hand and gripping it tightly. “I need you in my life for a little while longer...or even a lot longer if I’m totally honest.”

  “Oh, Luke,” she murmured, drawing closer despite her reservations. “You know we can’t do this...”

  He dropped her hands and stood up. “You’re right. I’m just getting carried away by the moment.”

  “Maybe we should listen to Mollie, though,” Kat said sadly. “Maybe I should take a step back. Not seeing Ben will be unbearable but doesn’t that clarify the truth? I’ve become way too attached to him, I can see it now, and it isn’t helping you, either.”

  Luke’s reaction was sincere. “No, he needs you, Kat. And how will he feel when he thinks you’re letting him down, too? He’ll never forgive you.”

  When Kat dropped her head into her hands, Luke placed a comforting palm on her shoulder.

  “It’s a chance I have to take,” she said, looking up at him through tear-filled eyes. “Mike has already pointed out that it can’t go on like this—I am way closer to Ben than I should be as his therapist. It clouds your professional judgment to get too close to a child—you start to think with your heart instead of your head. That was drilled into us at the very beginning of our training. But apart from that, my relationship with him is creating a wedge between the two of you, and that’s not fair.”

  The door suddenly swung open and they both turned toward it in surprise. “Hello!” Ben called as he stepped inside, but the smile left his face when he saw his dad.

  Kat noted Luke’s discouraged expression.

  “Hi, Ben,” she said, keeping her tone light. “Your dad and I were just having a chat. Why don’t you get to work on the chores in here, and he’ll walk you back to Flight when you’re done.”

  “No!” Ben snapped, his cheerful mood replaced by anger. “I want you to take me.”

  “But Luke’s going that way, and it will be good for you to spend some time together. He wants to take you, Ben. In fact...” She glanced at Luke uncertainly, and the vulnerability on his face made up her mind. “In fact, I’m going to insist on it. Look, I need to talk to you about something, and I guess now is as good a time as any.”

  “What?” Ben asked sulkily.

  Luke was shaking his head at her but Kat ignored him. “I love being your therapist. It’s the job I’m trained to do, to help you—you know that, don’t you, Ben?”

  He shrugged. “Yeah...”

  “Well, I just wanted you to know how pleased I am with how well you’ve been doing. So well, in fact, that before long you probably won’t need me anymore...and I’ll have other children who need my help.”

  “But you’re my friend. I need you to look after me.”

  The expression on the boy’s face pulled at Kat’s heartstrings, but she knew she had to follow through, for Ben and Luke’s sake. “I’ll always be your friend, Ben, you know that, but what I’m trying to say is that you have your dad to look after you, too. He’ll always be there for you, even if I can’t be.”

  “I will, Ben. I promise you that,” Luke insisted.

  “And that’s why the two of you need to become good friends,” Kat added.

  Ben’s face was red. “I hate you!” he yelled. “Both of you! I want to go back to live with Grandma.”

  “Your grandma can’t look after you right now, Ben,” Kat said gently, longing to pull him into her arms. “And I’m not going anywhere right now anyway. I just wanted you to understand things. It’s important for you to get to know your dad, to give him a chance.”

  For a moment, Ben just glared at her. “If you leave me, I’ll hate you forever,” he said in a dauntingly cold tone. He turned to Luke. “Come on...Luke. I want to go back to school now.” Kat fought off tears as she watched them walk away, Ben a small replica of his dad. As soon as they disappeared from view, she gave in to the huge wave of misery that engulfed her. And then she made her decision.

  * * *

  WHEN SHE SAW the email waiting in her inbox, Kat froze. She’d regretted making her application ever since she’d sent it over two weeks ago, even though she knew deep down that it had been the right thing to do. Luke had thought her timing was wrong when she’d tried to explain to Ben that things might change eventually, but she’d wanted to and make him understand how important his dad was in his life...and always would be now.

  She’d tried to talk to Ben again the next day, assuring him that she wasn’t going anywhere just yet and that she would always be his friend. He came around a little, but she could sense his distrust. That, she realized, was the price she had to pay if he was to have a future with his dad.

  She stared at the subject line, afraid of the message’s contents, knowing it could change her life. She clicked it open and read it hurriedly.

  Dear Ms. Molloy,

  Further to your application for the position of child therapist at St. Mary’s College, we would like to ask if you would be available to attend an interview at two thirty on the fourteenth of August. Please confirm this appointment by ringing Mr. P. Maguire at our office.

  We look forward to your response.

  Regards,

  C. Downs

  Would she go for the interview? She’d sent off her application on a whim after the scene in the shed. Staying here was not
an option; she was the resident child therapist, and there was no one else. She thought the world of Ben, but he still needed counseling and her presence was holding him back from bonding with Luke.

  Luke...

  Being around him was tough, too. Kat knew they couldn’t pursue a relationship but she couldn’t resist him, which would inevitably put a strain on Ben if she stuck around.

  Since the day she’d told him she might not be his therapist for much longer, Ben had come to care for April and the chickens less regularly and very often with another kid in tow. Kat had had little opportunity to speak to him and he hadn’t turned up for his counseling sessions. When she’d checked in with Gwen about it, she said she’d given him permission to stay in his room because he wasn’t feeling well. Kat didn’t even know if he and Luke were getting along any better.

  To her surprise, Luke turned up at her cottage around lunchtime; it was her day off, and she’d spent the morning cleaning out the chickens and making some improvements to April’s outside area.

  “Hi,” he said awkwardly and she stood back from the door to let him in, motioning him through into the kitchen. He loomed against the sink, larger than life, and her heart skipped a beat.

  “I wasn’t expecting you.”

  “Don’t sound too pleased to see me,” he responded with a smile.

  A flush colored her cheeks. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’ve hardly seen you, that’s all... How are things?”

  Luke shrugged. “Put the kettle on and I’ll fill you in. How are things with you anyway?”

  “I’m applying for a new job,” she said, turning away to fill the kettle at the sink.

  He frowned. “Isn’t that a bit extreme?”

  “Not really.” She pushed the plug into the outlet and switched it on before turning to look at him. “What other option do I have?”

  “It shouldn’t have to be like this, Kat,” he groaned.

  “It shouldn’t, but it is. A little boy’s future depends on what we do now. Has he been better with you?”

  Luke’s warm smile made her feel better about her decision, though it made her heart break even more. “Oh, yes. It’s still far from perfect, but he talks to me now, really talks to me.”