by Alice Kirks
‘Mother, I hardly think I am recovered.’
‘You are recovered well enough to spend every waking minute with the dashing Captain. I hardly think it fair for you to keep Captain Barkley waiting, let alone Melinda and Lord Sutton. I will speak to your father to organise preparations.’
‘Mother, please.’
‘Katherine, I will hear no more about this matter, or would you prefer your father choose someone else entirely? As it has not yet been announced, it can certainly be arranged.’ Her mother glared at her.
‘You would not do that.’ A panic rose in Katie.
‘Well of course not,’ her mother replied sweetly, ‘but that is because you are going to marry Captain Barkley.’
Katie glared at her mother for a long moment, and without another word, stood and swiftly left the room. She was almost certain, that her mother could not undermine Roberts proposal, but she could not be unequivocally positive. And frankly, she did not trust that either her mother or father would not do absolutely anything to get her wedded off.
At least if it were to Robert, she would have some iota of control, comforted in the knowledge that his proposition earlier had been genuine. For even though she barely knew him, she somehow trusted his word. When she wanted her freedom, he would grant it to her. The issue now being, she was not certain that she truly wanted to be free from him.
Hurrying through the house, she found Robert in the garden, sitting on a chair on the terrace. He looked contemplative, gazing into the garden, but not seemingly seeing. Glancing around to be certain they were alone, she approached him and, immediately he was aware of her presence, he stood.
Smiling broadly, he nodded a greeting. ‘Lady Katherine. I did not expect to see you until dinner.’
‘Yes, well,’ a little flustered she forgot her manners and sat down in the garden chair beside him, ‘I have something we need to discuss and it cannot wait.’
He frowned, most likely at her conspiratorial hushed tone and the state of distress that could not be hidden from her expression. Slowly, he sat beside her and encouraged her to continue.
‘As I mentioned I would earlier, I sought out Mama for her counsel, and I am certain what I will tell you will not please you.’
‘Please go on,’ he spoke tenderly, ‘I am certain it cannot be as severe as you fear.’
‘Oh Robert, you do not know my mother as I do. All I wanted was her advice, her guidance on what I should do. What transpired is certainly not the result I was looking for.’
‘Katherine,’ he leant forward and took her hand in his. ‘Just tell me.’
Taking a deep breath in, she steadied herself. Already flustered with what she had to tell him, the touch of his large hands on hers, only increased her heart beat. How could such a heroic, gallant man be so tender and compassionate? Her heart had been so quickly lost, swallowed up whole in his presence. And what she was about to propose, may drive him away from her forever.
Robert listened patiently as she recalled the conversation with her mother, and as Katie watched his changing expression, the fear of losing him grew.
‘I see.’ Was his only reply and for a long moment, he said nothing more.
‘Had I known this would be the result, I would never have spoken to her.’ Katie eventually said. ‘I am sorry Robert.’
‘Please do not think my hesitation anything to do with you, you are beautiful and amazing, but Katherine, we hardly know each other. When we spoke of marriage in the maze, it was an idea only, something I thought we would have time to consider.’
‘I know, and I completely understand what you are saying. However, the points you made in the maze are still valid. If we were to marry, we would still be able to benefit each other. Help each other. My dowry and your debt, my freedom and yours. All those things remain the same. It would just be sooner that we may have liked.’
Robert now let go of her hand and stood, walking a little way from her as he stared out onto the horizon. The sun was setting, the sky aflame with what looked like a thousand different shades of reds and oranges, speared by faint clouds, shadowing as dusk approached.
‘There is no alternative?’ He said quietly.
‘I do not trust my mother. For certain, even though she suspected Melinda and William’s love, she was ready to push me into marrying him. I fear that if we do not act now, another suitor will be sought. You know the way of my father.’
A heavy silence held between them for several minutes. Katie knew he was on the precipice. This was the climax of his decision. Did he stay or did he run? Marry a woman he barely knew to pay off his debt, and tie himself to a family to save his home. Or depart and leave her to the fate of her parents. Both their futures weighed in the balance, but if he could source a different way to save Winfield Manor, she would be left, back where she started.
Eventually, he turned and sat back down beside her. Taking her hand once more, he looked gently at her.
‘We will marry then.’
‘Are you certain?’ Katie could barely contain the relief of his decision, but could hardly believe it. Of course, she wanted him to agree, but it was not just for what the marriage could do to help them. Having spent so much time with him, she wanted him to stay for her. Because he wanted to, not because he had to.
He smiled. ‘I am certain.’
Had she no doubt that he may recoil at her unladylike behaviour, Katie would have hugged him. For undeniably, his decision and agreement would save her the fear of the unknown. However, beneath their banal reasons to marry—the problems it would solve on either side—were Katie’s feelings.
The desire to be with him, beside him. Listening to his stories and exploits, his courage and heroism, his gallant adventures. And yet, his ability to be so tender, so caring, his attentiveness to her was in stark contrast to all those other things. They shared passions of travel and expansion, and as Katie thought about it, she wondered if any other had ever really understood her as much as her Captain Barkley.
Yet, she could not possibly tell him how she felt, for his hesitation surely meant that her feelings were not reciprocated. If he wanted to marry her for anything other than convenience, why then had the been so very difficult for him? [MJ7]
Chapter 12
It had been three weeks. Three weeks since Robert had been forced into announcing his engagement to Lady Katherine. Three weeks of pretending to be more madly in love than before. Days of wedding arrangements and evenings of cigar infused walks in the garden with Lord Sutton, and the constant pressure of keeping up appearances for the rest of Katherine’s family.
It was difficult to believe that by the end of this day, they would be man and wife. Married to a woman he barely knew. Wedded in the small chapel on Lord Ennis’s grounds before God – at a later time, Robert would need to beg forgiveness. His head swirled as he contemplated how he had allowed himself to be dragged into this deception.
The suggestion of marriage in the maze, which now seemed like a lifetime ago, had been just that: an on the spot suggestion. The spark of an idea that had been carried on the wind to suddenly and swiftly spread into a wild forest fire. Had Katherine not spoken to her mother about the idea, they would not currently be preparing to say their vows in such haste.
However, he did not blame Katherine. How could he? It was a huge decision, albeit a farce, and seeking her mother’s advice would be a reasonable idea under any normal circumstances.
However, Lady Ennis was not what one would call “a normal mother”, and the more he observed her, the more her selfish and self-gratifying character reared its ugly head. Katherine had been entirely correct when she spoke of her mother not caring for her own daughter’s happiness. Whilst the current circumstances were not ideal, he quickly came to observe and understand her desperation to escape and leave Spencer Manor far behind.
Nor was he surprised when Lord Ennis suspected foul play and decided that the dowry would not be paid until he had actually married Katherine. Perhaps, her
father feared, on receiving the dowry, Robert would make a run for it. Abandon Katherine at the altar having swindled her father out of her settlement. A thought that would never have crossed his mind.
Withholding the buried secret he had yet to tell Katherine, he felt he was betraying her enough. He could not imagine running away and leaving her to deal with these treacherous people she had for parents, by herself.
Yet, with the pressing deadline of debt owed on Winfield Manor growing ever closer, Robert had had little choice. No one else knew, of course, the real reasons for the wedding being so rushed. Only he and Katherine, and Robert was determined to keep it that way. If her parents found out what they truly intended, their plan would be ripped apart before it began.
Robert imagined that the idea of his daughter divorcing her husband whilst the wedding bells still swung would give Lord Ennis a seizure. There was not a doubt in his mind, it would be Katherine who would pay a heavy price. Having observed the family, he would not find it difficult to imagine her father completely disowning her and leaving her destitute.
Careful and secretive in their planning, Katherine assured him that even Melinda was not aware of their true intent. Concerned that Melinda would either try and talk her out of it, or somehow let it slip, she had felt it prudent, that the less people knew of their plan, the better.
Katherine also did not want to put her sister in a position where she would have to lie to her parents. They may well be doing it, but it was unfair to expect Melinda to join the collusion. Robert had noticed the internal struggle Katherine grappled with, the guilt it caused. It was evident to everybody that they were close—she shared everything with her sister.
Fortunately for them, being deliriously happy with her own intended—Lord Sutton—Melinda had allowed herself to be swept up in the idea that Katherine was besotted and deeply in love with Robert. Neither he nor Katherine had given her any reason to think otherwise.
Now, the final day was upon them. All their planning and scheming and whispered discussions had come to fruition. Together, they just needed to get through it. To hold their nerve until the vows had been spoken and they were pronounced man and wife.
‘You are looking extremely well Captain.’ Lord Sutton nodded approvingly, as he stood beside him in the small chapel. ‘Are you nervous?’
Robert knew well that the question had probably originated from Lord Sutton’s observation of him. The constant fidgeting, pulling and tugging at his uniform and his evident lack of attention. He was indeed nervous, yet not for the reasons Lord Sutton supposed.
‘Absolutely not,’ he lied, but smiled. ‘Why would you ask that?’
Lord Sutton looked at him knowingly. ‘Well,’ he hesitated, ‘I could not imagine you thought of yourself in this very spot but a month ago.’
‘No, indeed. I blame you Lord Sutton.’
‘Me?’ The younger man looked a little taken back.
Robert smiled jovially down at him. ‘Certainly, if you had not proposed to Melinda, I would not be in this mess. What with the older daughter having to marry before the younger and so forth.’
Lord Sutton suddenly realised he was teasing and smiled bashfully. ‘Well, had you not talked me into it, I would never have asked her.’
‘Touché.’
Lord Sutton had been kind enough to step in as Roberts witness, seeing it was such a small affair. In fact, the only people that were to be present, would be Katherine’s family and the clergyman. It felt more like an elopement than a wedding. Fitting really.
Not long after, Katherine stood by his side at the altar. Looking as beautiful as ever, a thick white fur wrap draped around her shoulders, complimenting a simple but elegant gown. She had mentioned not wanting her parents to spend a fortune on her dress as she felt guilty enough that they had no idea this was all a farce.
Robert understood her feelings and yet secretly felt that her parents did not really deserve such consideration, given the way they had treated her since the announcement.
During the ceremony, his struggle to focus continued. This had all happened so very quickly and he felt quite out of control. A feeling he was neither comfortable nor familiar with. For a certainty he had saved Winfield Manor, but at what cost? He had returned to York in search of a way to save the manor, and now suddenly had a bride. There were other mounting obstacles ahead that he had yet to tackle, least of all, bringing a wife home to his aunt and sister.
Robert sensed he was not the only one suffering the effects of nerves. Katherine, who ordinarily exuded confidence in herself and her pursuits, showed fleeting signs of uncertainty; though she hid it well. Since arriving at the chapel, she had not been able to hold his gaze, her hands constantly fidgeted with the tie of her wrap, and her laughter appeared stuttered and forced.
He wondered if their shared internal struggle ought to bring him some comfort. That he was not alone in his feelings and that, their shared experience would somehow forge a tighter bond between them. Perhaps, bring them closer together.
Eventually, they endured it to the end and, leaving the chapel after the ceremony was over, he bent his head close to her ear.
‘You do not seem yourself.’
‘I suppose I do not feel myself,’ she admitted as they walked across the garden to the house. ‘The entire time we were stood there, I was waiting for us to be found out. Terrified that we would not get through it before someone put a stop to it.’
‘It is over now.’
‘Yes. I suppose it is. I just feel so laden with guilt.’
‘That,’ he looked down upon her kindly, ‘is because you are an honest and open woman Katherine.’
‘I do not feel open and honest at this moment. I feel as though I have tricked everyone I love. Including my own dear sister.’
‘Yes, but now, you can be free.’
‘Yes.’ She replied absently. ‘I suppose I can.’
Even as Robert spoke those words and heard her reply, it pained him. For whilst he had been pushed into this union in haste, his feelings for her had only grown. The mental and emotional tug of war beneath the calm exterior he exuded, caused him exhaustion.
The original reasoning behind this union had somehow been diluted within him. Their deceit sought to free them both: Katherine from a forced marriage and he from debt. And yet Robert, over the time he had spent with her, had realised a new reality. He did not want Katherine to be free. He wanted her to be his.
After a celebratory early luncheon at Spencer Manor, the couple said their goodbyes and the carriage got under way. It was to be a long and tedious journey to Kent that would take no less than three days, and only if they did not experience any difficulties on the treacherous roads.
Before their departure, Lord Sutton took Robert to the side and spoke to him quietly. ‘Captain, I will never be able to repay you for everything you have done.’
‘I did little, Lord Sutton. You did all the difficult work.’
‘I do not just mean your encouragement and inspiration to speak to Lord Ennis. Though your feisty reasoning certainly did bolster my resolve. I also refer to your friendship. I feel I have found in you, a great and trustworthy friend and companion. And I will ever be grateful for that.’
Robert shifted uncomfortably. ‘I am honoured.’
‘My offer still stands even now, if you remember what we spoke about in the gardens on that night. There is no price that can be placed on happiness, and it was with your help, that I am now the happiest man alive.’
Robert remembered very well the offer to loan him the money to pay for his debt. An offer he now fleetingly wondered if he should have accepted rather than the route he chose. However, he dismissed the thought as quickly as it had entered his mind. There was a greater cause involved now, much more than just his debt.