by Alice Kirks
‘I am and will always be graciously grateful for your offer Lord Sutton, but my answer remains the same. My mind has not changed, I still treasure our friendship and will continue to do so.’
‘Well, I will miss your company here and our long conversations.’
‘As will I, but we will return for your wedding, as I am sure, it will not be long in coming.’
‘Indeed,’ the Lord beamed.
With tearful goodbyes, particularly from Lady Melinda and Katherine, they finally pulled away from Spencer Manor with a carriage, very little luggage and Roberts horse tethered to the rear.
‘Well, that is that.’ Katherine breathed.
Sat across from her inside the carriage, Robert witnessed a despondency that surprised him, and as they trundled farther from her family home, no words were shared. Katherine only gazed out of the window with a glassy stare, for quite some time.
Chapter 13
If Robert had imagined he could get to know Katherine a little better during their long journey south, he had been wholly mistaken. Her despondency continued over the couple of days travel until the almost intolerable silence had pushed him to eventually enquire if she were well.
Her reply alarmed him a little, even though, at this particular time, there was little either could do about it. All character and confidence seemingly drained from her; Katherine was in despair that she had left her family home in such a deceitful manner. Particularly having to mislead her sister whom she loved dearly and, who may never forgive her, should she ever find out.
Doubting now the decision she had made, Katherine wondered perhaps, if she should have told Melinda the truth. At least, she would have understood her deceit and their relationship would not have been put into such jeopardy by her selfishness.
Added to that, she had left Melinda to deal with her parents alone, which only added to the guilt. Of course, Melinda had William there beside her, but really, he could barely stand up for himself. In short: her heart was heavy and, completely ashamed of her actions, she was close to hating herself.
Of course, this information did not come out in such a flood. In fact, Robert had to gently tease it out of her painfully, slowly. Bit-by-bit, the whole picture eventually came together for him to understand what he now had to deal with, and what Katherine was experiencing.
On their final day of travel, Robert’s own inner turmoil bubbled within him and his fear of addressing the issue only grew. He was yet to confess his secret to Katherine before they arrived at Winfield Manor that evening, and he was running out of time.
Hearing his confession would only impact how she was already feeling, and having struggled with her demeanour and sense of despondency for days, he had put it off for as long as possible. However, there came to a point in their journey where he could leave it no longer.
With less than a couple of hours before they would arrive, Robert took a deep breath and attempted to settle his nerves. Whatever happened, he had little choice now.
‘Katherine,’ he began tentatively. ‘I need to confess something before we arrive at Winfield.’
Katherine had, as the days previously, been gazing aimlessly out of the window as the carriage trundled south towards his home. At the sound of his voice, she turned her gaze to him and looked expectantly, waiting for his next words.
‘There are things that I ought to have dealt with before we arrived here,’ he explained, ‘in fact, there are things I ought to have told you before you even agreed to be my wife.’
Her frown conveyed to him that she did not fully understand.
‘But Robert, you have told me about the debt and about losing the Manor. Surely, my father made that clear on that dreadfully humiliating night at dinner. You clarified it in the maze. Do you not recall?’
This was going to be more difficult than he first imagined. Robert shook his head and took a deep breath to bolster himself.
‘It is not the debt of which I speak. I know you are well aware of that. It is something of a more serious nature.’
Her frown deepened. ‘What could be more serious than losing your home? Are you ill?’
‘No, not ill, though I must admit, I do feel quite sick to my stomach at this moment.’
She leaned forward. Steadying herself against the rolling carriage with one gloved hand, she placed the other over his and looked at him sympathetically. Her kind gesture only expanded his guilt. She would hate him for certain, but he desperately wanted her to understand and maybe, even forgive him.
‘Please Robert, there is little you can tell me that will make me see you in a bad light. Look at everything you have sacrificed for me already.’
‘Katherine. I was engaged to someone else.’
He had not meant the words to come out so harshly, but he could not see any other way of saying it. And yet, seeing her reaction, he regretted it immediately.
Suddenly, she jumped back in her seat as though he had struck her. The colour drained from her face and with eyes wide, a look of stunned, yet pained surprise greeted him.
For several whole minutes, neither of them uttered a word.
‘How could you not have told me?’ She eventually said.
‘Katherine, I am truly sorry. I should have discussed this with you before.’
‘Yes. You should.’ Her shock now morphing into anger. ‘Who is she? Where is she? Oh, good Lord, what have I done? How could you have betrayed me so?’
‘It was not my intent.’
‘And yet you did it. All this gallant heroism, how could you do this? You have been lying to me this entire time.’
‘Oh, come now, Katherine. You can hardly preach to me about lying.’
‘That is different.’
‘Indeed, it is not.’
‘Of course, it is.’
‘How?’ He demanded. ‘How is lying to me and your entire family any different than what I have done?’
‘Do not do that.’
‘Do what? Your hypocrisy betrays your argument, for my treachery is no greater than yours.’
‘I did not keep such a huge secret from you.’
‘But would you have? If I had not confronted you Katherine? On that day, in the maze, had I not found you out. Would you have continued your lie until I married you?’
‘Of course not!’
‘How will I know?’ He demanded, ‘How can I ever know?’
‘It is not the same.’ She retorted.
‘Of course, it is the same. We are married for heaven’s sake!’
‘But I was not betrothed to another beforehand!’
‘No. Instead you pretended not to know who you were for longer than necessary to keep me trapped!’
‘Trapped?’
‘You cannot deny it is true.’
‘That is how you now feel Robert, trapped?’
‘You are twisting my words.’
‘Indeed, I am not. You said it yourself this minute. That I deceived you to keep you trapped.’
‘That is not what I said at all.’
‘Do you now deny it?’
‘I will not deny something I did not say.’
‘And yet that is exactly what you are doing.’
‘Oh, for heaven’s sake. We are going around in circles. This is pointless.’ He huffed.
‘Yes, it would seem it is!’
The air crackled with tension as both of them huffed, stubbornly staring out of opposite windows and refusing to speak any longer. It remained that way for the rest of the journey to Winfield.
As the carriage neared the manor, Robert eventually looked over to his new wife. Her face still held the frozen sulk she had carried for the past hour, but there would be more to deal with when they finally arrived. He had yet to introduce her to his aunt, a prospect he did not relish in the least. Yet they could not arrive in this state, it was up to him to offer the olive branch.
‘Katherine,’ he spoke gently. ‘We are nearly arrived.’
After another moment of silence
, she finally turned to him, the expression softened, but not by a great deal.
‘Please, can we at least be civil?’
‘Of course.’ She replied, her jaw clenched.
Robert internally heaved a sigh of frustration. Admittedly, what he had refrained from telling her was quite dreadful, and he could not have expected her to react in any way that could have been accepting. However, her being annoyed at him for lying was rather hypocritical coming from a woman who had lied to absolutely everyone around her.
Of course, her lie was a little more serious and indeed, more justified than his. There had been a lot more at stake, the happiness of not only herself, but his friend Lord Sutton and her sister, and yet, it was still a lie.
On top of that, she had taken his words completely out of context. He felt no more trapped than a wild horse frolicking in the field. If she only knew how he felt, how he wished he could have her as his wife for a lifetime, how much he already loved her. But she could not know, because he had not told her. Their agreement had been made, in part, to supply her with freedom. That is what she desired, and that is what she would receive.
As the carriage slowly pulled up at the entrance of the manor, his thoughts turned to the matter at hand. There was a more immediate situation to deal with. Facing the music of both his aunt and his sister would take up all of his energy, and whilst the Duchess may be satisfied that he had finally married, the older woman was nothing if not astute.
Both he and Katherine would need to be careful around her, for if there was any person that would be able to smell a collusion, it would most definitely be her.
Chapter 14
Thank the good Lord for Kitty. For though his motherly housekeeper had been surprised, she had at least been the most welcoming, gushing over Katherine once they arrived home and entered the manor.
Robert wished he could have said the same for his aunt and Alison, but in his sister’s defence, it was evident she was still quite in shock. Being so young and excitable, she struggled to maintain an appropriate disposition. He could hardly be surprised and had, in fact, been prepared for it. Having little to no time to let them know, she was not expecting her brother to return home with a wife, yet even in her astounded state, she was at least making some effort with Katherine.
The Duchess, on the other hand, acted exactly as he suspected she might. Barely greeting Katherine, she had almost looked her up and down as though Robert had brought home a stray dog. With her arrogance on full display, she practically dismissed his new wife on introduction.
The three ladies now sat in the drawing room, Kitty having just left after bringing in a large tray of tea and cake. Robert, on the other hand, preferred to stand. His heightened energy and awareness preparing for what was to come.
‘Lady Katherine,’ Alison began as she poured the tea for them all, ‘I hope you do not think me rude, only, we are just surprised. Robert has always been quite set against getting married.’
‘Alison.’ Robert glared at his sister, at the same time noticing Katherine’s surprised glance.
‘Well,’ the Duchess added, ‘Alison is not wrong is she Robert? If I recall our final conversation before your departure, you were quite determined that marriage was not for you. In fact, you made it quite clear. You can hardly blame your sister for her reaction.’
‘I am sorry.’ Alison nodded apologetically toward Katherine. ‘I do not mean to cause you offence.’
‘It is fine.’ Katherine soothed. ‘Neither of us really expected it did we my darling?’ She looked up at Robert with a disingenuous smile. It seemed apparent; she was still bristling from the argument in the carriage.
‘I suppose it was his Dukedom that attracted you to him, was it?’ The Duchess glared accusingly at Katherine.
Robert, riled at her antagonistic questioning, was about to intercede in Katherine’s defence, but it appeared his new wife had the ability to hold her own with his judgemental aunt. It gave him a certain satisfaction, though by now, he ought not to have been surprised. He had rarely seen Katherine in a situation she could not handle.
She held the older woman’s stare and then smiled sweetly. ‘Actually, Your Grace, I was completely unaware of any peerage connected to your nephew until long after we met. It was more Robert’s gallant heroism, for he saved me from being trampled by a horse.’
‘Oh my, what happened?’ Alison looked shocked.
‘We were on a hunt together and I was thrown from my horse. It was in fact, not my horse, and so he did tend to be unsettled. But after landing awkwardly from a jump, I could not hold on. Only for the heroism and quick reactions of your brother, I may not be here at all.’
‘Well...’ Robert began.
‘You saved her Robert.’ Alison gushed, clapping her hands. ‘How wonderful and how exciting. Though,’ she hesitated suddenly and turned back to Katherine, ‘I am sure it was not very pleasant for you.’
Katherine was about to reply but did not get the opportunity.
‘And after less than two months, you decided to get married?’ The Dowager questioned; her expression unchanged.
Katherine turned her attention from Alison, back to his aunt.
‘Well, yes. We found each other’s company quite satisfactory. Robert was invited by my father to stay with us to show the family’s gratitude and we were able to spend time getting to know each other.’
‘Is that correct? So, lots of leisure time together, hours of conversation no doubt.’
‘Oh yes. Long walks, rides in the country, picnics in the garden.’
‘Then surely you must know all about him by now, you will know all about his parent’s and his family. All his likes and his dislikes.’
Robert paced the floor, knowing by her tone what his aunt was doing but having little power to stop her. Of course, they had not spoken much about his parents, or about his family in general. The past few weeks had been spent planning their deceit and wedding of convenience.
‘His parents?’ Katherine replied tentatively.
‘Well, yes. You are bound to at least know their names surely?’
‘Your Grace, there were many other subjects that were spoken of…’ Robert interrupted.
The older woman silently raised a hand to quieten him and continued to glare at Katherine expectantly. Katherine looked on helplessly and eventually shook her head.
‘No, Your Grace, I do not know their names.’
‘I see. You marry a man and do not know his own parents’ names. How very unusual.’
‘I can understand your view, Your Grace…’
‘Can you?’ The older woman growled, ‘One would have to wonder, if Robert spoke little of his family, what subjects you did speak of.’
‘Well, we spoke of the many adventures that Robert has experienced and the places he has travelled to, his recent return from America…’