by Alice Kirks
‘Oh, for heaven’s sake. You married him on a whim of adventure? And your parents allowed it? What breeding have you had at all? I would wonder at the reasoning your parents had for allowing such a union.’
‘Lord and Lady Ennis are upstanding in their community, Your Grace,’ Robert defended. He had had enough of this nonsense. ‘Well respected by all who know them. It would be an injustice to judge a person when one has not yet had the experience of meeting them, would you not agree?’
The dowager did not reply to his indirect reprimand but ignored him and continued drinking her tea with her usual air of arrogance.
Robert had known there would be some sort of judgement from the Duchess, but he had not expected an inquisition, nor such disregard for Katherine and her family. In his eyes, his aunt had stooped to a level of ignorance even he did not think she was capable of.
Dinner was a solemn affair, with Katherine eating little. She eventually excused herself, telling the present company that she was rather exhausted and retired to bed. He did not doubt her. The journey had been arduous and to be exposed to the reception they had received on their arrival, would diminish the most resilient of persons. Nor could he blame her for wanting to be out of the room. The Dowager had made no more effort to be civil at dinner than earlier in the day.
Robert excused himself shortly afterwards and when they found themselves alone in their bedchamber, a strange tension returned. Neither had completely recovered from the argument in the carriage and the atmosphere was now one of discomfort.
However, it was not the only reason for the strangeness between them. The inns in which they had stopped to rest on their journey had been temporary affairs. Katherine had taken the bed; he had slept on the floor, or a chair if one had been available.
Now, they stood in a room with a huge four poster double bed before them. He had noticed Katherine eyeing it earlier when they were changing for dinner, and could only imagine what might be going through her mind.
‘I will sleep on the floor.’ He spoke to her across the room. Currently, her back faced him as she stood at the window, gazing out into the night sky.
Slowly she turned and looked at him. Her gaze danced over to the bed and then back to him. Robert waited, expectantly.
Katherine eventually shook her head. ‘I cannot allow you to do that Robert. You are as exhausted as I. It has been a long few days, and besides, we are going to have to carry this on for at least a month. We need a better plan.’
‘It is a large room,’ he waved his arm grandly.
The room was well furnished, thick rugs lining the heavy wooden floors and typical high ceilings. A dresser, drawers and a wardrobe to hold their belongings and a partition dressing screen, which Katherine had used earlier when changing.
A large hearth with a small fire now crackling, stood against one wall with hangings on three of the four walls. The remaining wall, taken up by French doors that led out onto a balcony.
It was not a room he had spent any length of time in over the years, but he had chosen it as their bedchamber as it seemed most suitable for their ruse. Particularly being in a wing of the manor that was little used.
‘We will decide on what to do for the long term. It is hardly likely anyone will discover us.’
It had been decided between them before the wedding - it was he who had broached the subject – regarding the sleeping arrangements. If the annulment was to be Katherine’s future, he did not want to disgrace her. They would leave the marriage unconsummated for the time she ever felt she might want to marry again.
Of course, the very thought pained him, even when they had discussed it before their wedding day. The idea that they would eventually part, that he would not have her to hold for his lifetime, tore at him, but that is what they had agreed upon.
Had her feelings been any different toward him, it would certainly have been the time to express them, but she had not. Agreeing with his plan, she had not even hesitated. The woman desired her freedom, and to remain chaste, they would sleep separately.
‘Or I can sleep on the sofa.’ He pointed to the luxurious chaise lounge that stood not far from the fire place, ‘I will be warm next to the fire.’
Robert lifted some cushions from a wing backed chair and walked over to the chaise lounge to make his point, arranging them as pillows. Taking a rug that lay on the back of the sofa, he folded it in a way that he could cover himself.
Katherine moved from the window towards the bed, she did now look quite exhausted. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she let out a heavy sigh but remained still.
Robert removed his jacket and cravat and slipped off his shoes, he was about to lay down on the chaise lounge when he heard the unmistakable sound of a cane tapping on the wooden floor. There was no reason for his aunt to be in this wing of the manor and he suddenly feared the worst.
‘Get into the bed.’ He whispered a demand at Katherine as he swiftly crossed the room.
Katherine looked a little shocked. ‘I beg your pardon.’
‘The Duchess is coming, get into the bed.’
Katherine started pulling back the covers, ‘Surely she will not come in.’
‘You do not know her.’ Robert said as he promptly pulled the covers back on his side and slipped in. Katherine, hesitated for a few more seconds.
‘Would you have us found out?’ Robert glared at her.
With that, Katherine quickly stole under the covers, fully dressed, still wearing her gloves and shoes. The two now looking quite ridiculous, with the covers pulled up to their chins.
The ominous tapping of the cane stopped outside of the bedchamber door. Robert held his breath, expecting a knock on the door at any second. What he did not expect was his aunt to walk straight into the room unannounced and uninvited. Which is exactly what she did.
Once the door flew open, the Duchess did not stop at the threshold. Walking determinedly towards the bed without hesitation, she grabbed hold of the covers and yanked them back to reveal the fullydressed newly weds.
‘Did you think me a fool?!’ She barked.
Katherine let out a squeal of mortification and, bounding from the bed, she ran from the room.
Robert felt overwhelmed with embarrassment. Knots twisted in his stomach and heat raised on his face. A grown man, having his much older aunt barge into his room to have them found out like naughty school children.
However, after the initial shock, the situation swiftly became clear as to the disrespect she had shown both himself and Katherine. The arrogance of the woman infuriated him and shame was quickly swallowed by a sudden anger.
‘How dare you barge into our bedchamber without so much as the decency of knocking!’
‘Who do you think you are talking to?’ The Duchess glared at him.
‘I am talking to the impertinent woman who feels it is her right to come into my bedchamber and humiliate me.’
‘Do you think me a fool? Did you think for one moment that I would not realise what was going on between the two of you? I told you before you left Robert. You will marry and you will produce an heir. What is this farce? I will not have the Barkley name dying out. I made it quite explicit. I would pay the debt on the manor; you would provide an heir.’
‘I do not need your money any longer Your Grace,’ he retorted, finally gathering himself and remembering his upbringing. A cantankerous old woman she may be, but out of respect for his father and her peerage, he would give her, her due. ‘My marriage to Katherine has now given me the funds to pay the debt owed on the Manor.’
For a long second the Duchess glared at him. ‘You mean you only married that poor woman for her dowry?’
‘Absolutely not! I married her because…’ He hesitated.
‘Because what? You married her for her money. What other reasons can you give me for this lie?’ She pointed at the strewn blankets on the bed.
‘I did not just marry her for her money, I married her for many reasons…’
Robert was about to conti
nue when behind the Duchess, Katherine timidly entered the room again. He was almost heartbroken when he noticed her desperately trying to hold back the tears that threatened to overwhelm her.
‘I need a bed to sleep in, where should I go?’ She whispered; her voice barely audible.
The Duchess turned and glared at Katherine and then brought her attention back to Robert.
‘We will continue this tomorrow. Do not think for a second, that this is over.’
Without another word, the older woman swept passed Katherine and stormed out of the room, the echoing sound of the thudding cane disappearing down the hallway.
‘Take this room. I will sleep in another.’ He said gently.
When he reached the doorway where she remained stood, she looked up at him, an unspoken fear in her eyes. Between the exhaustion, the cold reception, their argument on the road and now this, he wondered how this beautiful creature had not already completely crumbled.
How had he thought that this would work? That the Duchess did not have the capacity to be able to see right through their ruse. Of course, he knew she would have her suspicions, that she may be watching them together as days passed. But for her to figure them out in such a short period of time?
He had underestimated the old woman and now poor Katherine had had to suffer the humiliation. Humiliation to add to the other turmoil that already tormented her.
Robert fought desperately against the desire to take her in his arms and hold her in a strong embrace. An embrace that would support her and convey to her wordlessly that all would be well. That he would care for her and protect her and love her. That she had nothing to fear as long as he were by her side.
Instead, he spoke gently before he left the room to find another bed to sleep in.
‘It will be fine. Please, do not worry. Get some rest.’
Chapter 15
It had certainly not been the best start to married life, but after a couple of weeks at Winfield Manor, Katie finally began to settle. It would have been fanciful to say that the Duchess had warmed to her, but the cold reception of which she was first exposed, had at least dropped a few degrees.
The manor itself needed work and, in comparison to her own richly decorated home, appeared dowdy and more than a little neglected. Katie had grown quite fond of Kitty already and now the debt on the manor had been paid, the two talked of what might be done to brighten the place up, even starting with a fresh coat of paint in many of the rooms.
Though the gardens surrounding the large home were not in any way as well kept as she was used to—George’s gambling had meant the letting go of many of the staff, the gardener included—Katie still found herself gently strolling around them on some days when she was in need of her own company.
Wrapped up against the cold and the fast approaching winter, the gambols through the wooded area often warmed her as well as giving her time to think.
It was she who had wanted adventure, to be free of the oppressive restrictions and to discover a world outside of Spencer Manor. At least she had left York. Most of the people she had known all her life had barely travelled more than 14 miles from their home.
However, what she had not anticipated to encounter on her adventures, was the loneliness. Whilst she and Robert began the process of becoming accustomed to each other, the feeling of not yet belonging clung to her.
On the second day of arriving, after that horrific invasion of privacy by the dreadful Duchess, they had sat and talked. He gentle and kind, about their argument on their journey. Promising he did not at all feel trapped, he soothed her and put her mind at ease. Apologising again and again, she eventually had to tell him to stop.
What was done, was done, and there was little they could do about it now. What they needed to expend their energy on, was getting through the situation they currently found themselves in. Whilst the atmosphere between them warmed after that, their relationship remained platonic. They had settled into a rhythm of being with each other and yet, Katie still felt alone.
The argument for time was a fair one, after all it had only been a couple of weeks. As with any new place or even way of life, there needed to be a period of bedding in. Of accommodating the changes and of compromise in what she may have expected in comparison to the reality. Maybe that was her answer, she just needed to give it more time. Perhaps, the loneliness would ease, eventually.
She did miss Melinda, very desperately. To have someone to giggle with, to tell all her thoughts to, and share her ideas with. The inseparable soulmate she had grown up with who knew all of her darkest secrets and loved her anyway. Though, she still wondered, even now, when Melinda found out what she and Robert had planned, would she ever be able to forgive her.
Whilst a little reserved at the start, Alison had made an effort to get to know her better, and though it still seemed in the early stages, Katie had a feeling, their relationship would blossom.
‘What is it like, having a sister?’ Alison asked her one morning. The two were sat in the drawing room after breakfast. Katie, having discovered the library on the second day of arriving, had been reading and Alison had been intently concentrating on her needlework.
‘Awful.’ Katie said as seriously as she could, before breaking into a soft smile.
Alison smiled at Katie’s teasing. ‘I would imagine it was so much fun growing up.’
‘Oh yes. We got ourselves into all sorts of trouble. I remember the day we decided to hide father’s reading glasses. We thought it would be a little bit of fun. Well, what a riot we started.’
Alison grinned broadly, leaning in to hear more about it.
‘He stormed around the house like a raving maniac. Yelling and accusing everyone of being so incompetent. Every servant in the house was drafted in to find them, and my mother spent the entire time placating him in her attempt to calm him. We sat at the top of the stairs, watching the whole drama through the spindles, giggling for ages.’
‘Where did you hide them?’
‘At the very top of one of the shelves in the library. We had to use the steps, for we were only small. They would never have found them. Eventually, one of the servants, mama’s maid, discovered us in near hysterics with laughter and soon realised what had happened. We were sent to bed without food for the rest of the day.’
‘Really?’
‘Well, that was what was supposed to happen, but mama’s maid sneaked us some bread and biscuits before bedtime.’
‘I wish I had had a sister.’ Alison sighed wistfully. ‘It was so quiet here when Robert went away.’
‘You must have friends that you visit?’
‘I do, but,’ she dropped her voice to a whisper, ‘the Duchess is very fussy about who I am able to associate with. I ought to act like a Lady, for that is what I am, or so she keeps telling me.’
‘Oh yes. I have heard the same speech many times.’
‘It is not fair.’
‘No Alison, I am afraid it is not.’
Alison sounded so very much like her when she was her age. And of course, she was right. It was not fair. The burdens that women had to carry far outweighed any benefits. Hardly allowed to think for themselves or act in a way that would make them happy, they were required to conform to a standard that society set.
It was about the same time the following day that an excitement ran through the house. The sound of thundering hooves and a trundling carriage travelling up the gravel road to the manor, had Alison jumping up from her needlework.
Katie had continued with the same book as the day before and whilst she did not know anyone in this area, she was intrigued. Pretending not to look interested, she slyly observed Alison straining to see who their visitor was through the window. And then suddenly, the young girl gasped.