As I start to enter, I swear I think I hear her say, "Thank you." My heart skips a beat. She is saying thank you? I should be the one. She is giving herself to me for one night. Right now, I feel like the luckiest man on Earth.
"Thank you for giving me this moment, Noah." She smiles a small nervous smile. I don't want her to be nervous. I want her to be comfortable with me.
"Don't be nervous, baby. It's just you and me. Tonight I have you. Tonight I will take care of you. I am going in baby. I can't wait any longer," I tell her.
"Noah?" I will never tire of hearing my name from her lips.
"Yeah baby?"
"I'm ready." Okay that's odd. She says ready like she is saying something else.
"I'm going to take this slow. I want to etch in my memory what every inch of you feels like," and with that I slide just the head of my dick in.
"Molly, you are so tight." This is not some bullshit lie that I just am telling her. Some guys tell the women they sleep with that to make them feel better. Molly is so tight and I am barely in her.
She smiles nervously. I slide a little more of my dick in when it touches a barrier. What the hell! Molly is a virgin. I know what a hymen is and my dick is touching one. I look at her and she looks away embarrassed. I instantly stop and pull out.
"Molly? Why? A one-night stand? I can't take your virginity." I say and my head is spinning. It's complete silence.
She shoves me off of her, and my dick aches. Blue balls suck and I have a feeling I am about to get the worst case.
"Molly, talk to me please." I try to make eye contact, but she won't look at me.
"What's there to say? I'm still a virgin," she says, and I feel guilty that she is humiliated at the turn this took. As much as I want to fuck her, I can't. She deserves better. I knew from the moment I saw her she would deserve better than me.
Chapter 13
Molly
This is embarrassing. Why does he even care what I have to say? He made his mind up and humiliated me in the process.
"I'd like to get dressed and go." I say turning away from him.
"Molly, I said fucking talk to me."
"Yeah. I heard you." I start to grab my dress. He rips it from my hand. His hands come to my waist and he grabs me pulling me into him. I struggle against his hold. Tears spring my eyes. Please don't cry in front of him. Hold it together Molly. I push all my emotion back down before I look into his eyes.
"Molly."
"Please stop saying my name," I beg him.
"I am just trying to understand. You didn't tell me. How?"
"How?" I ask.
"You're twenty-four. You're gorgeous," he says more calmly. I don't want to explain, but I need to say my piece and move on. Stupid fucking tears show up as I start to open my mouth.
"Noah," I croak. "I know what you think of me, that I am immature and impulsive, but not always. My parents are great. I grew up knowing who I was and who I wanted to be. I held onto my virginity not for any religious reasons, but because I didn't want to give it to someone, I didn't feel passion for. I would say I am sorry for not being the experienced high-society woman that you obviously crave, but I am not. Now give me my dress so I can leave or I am walking out naked."
He looks scared? Maybe it’s a look of confusion. He continues to hold on to my dress and I walk towards the door. I was serious when I said I would walk out naked. The embarrassment I might feel on the way home is nothing compared to what I am feeling now.
Noah
I am spinning. She was going to let me take her virginity. She is walking towards the door. She is not fucking leaving.
I grab her again. I pick her up and throw her over my shoulder.
"NOAH! STOP IT! YOU. ARE. BEING. A. SHITHEAD," her anger is quite humorous.
"Just hear me out. First, I need you to answer this. Why do you think I prefer experienced women? And then please explain the high society comment." I try to gather my thoughts while she answers.
"Really, Noah? Do you want me to spell it out for you or do you get off on making me feel inferior? It's the second. You want me to feel inferior. I don't come from money. I am not rich. I never will be. I don't play the stuck up bitch. I can't be your trophy girlfriend. I don't have the clothes and you know what, I wouldn't be those things. People who have money live a lie. They hide behind the fancy cars, the nice houses, and the pretty girlfriend. Noah, I see you. I really see you. You are killing yourself putting on the show." Livid. I am fucking livid. She is impossible.
"First off you don't know me. You don't know shit about me. I am a doctor. I have money but I am far from super rich. I don't want a trophy girlfriend. I don't want a girlfriend. Women who chase money disgust me. My home is the nicest thing I own and I hated spending the money on it. This view is why I did it. It's where I find peace. I've worked very fucking hard to get to where I am. The army paid off my student loans that I had to get because a father who hated me raised me. I hate what money does to people. Right now I hate you for thinking so little of me." Well hell, she looks pissed now.
"You have tried to make me feel like an immature child since you met me. Yet, I was still willing to give you the one thing I will never get back." She starts crying again and it makes me feel like shit.
"Molly, it's hard for me to communicate my feelings because they confuse me. I stopped not because I wanted experience." I stop talking; I am not ready to say the real reason.
"Why, Noah?" She demands and I can't answer. She should leave. I try to hand her dress
"Fucking tell me. Please, I just need to know," her tears start flowing again. She deserves my truth even if it exposes me.
"I don't want to be your one regret, Molly.” I mean it. When she thinks back to the day when she lost her virginity, I don't want her to hate that I took something that was meant for someone who was capable of feeling. I look up at her and she starts walking towards the door.
"You would’ve never been my regret Noah." I can see her tears. I’m still unsure about what to do. Shit. I can’t let her go. I rush after her and pick her up. She wraps her legs around my waist.
"Promise me, Molly, that if we do this one night you can live with yourself."
"I promise. I don't live with regret. I've held on to this for so long and I would never give it up to regret," she says. The sincerity in her tone has me walking with her to the bed. Never letting go.
Chapter 14
Molly
I watch as he rolls on a new condom. In this moment, I know there is nothing left between us. I see the resolve in his eyes as he lowers himself on top of me. A peaceful calm comes over me as I feel his dick at my entrance.
"Never in my life have I been given a gift like this," he says in a quiet voice.
In one quick thrust, he breaks the barrier. I stiffen and bite his shoulder to keep from crying out. A graveled growl leaves his chest.
"Did I hurt you?" he asks.
"Yes, but I am okay."
"Molly, I have to start moving," he says in a hunger-filled voice. I nod.
He slides slowly in and out a few times. I know I haven't felt the full length of him yet.
"Noah?"
"Yeah, baby?"
"No regrets." A beautiful smile crosses his face.
He keeps slowly easing into me. It's painful but is easing with each stroke. He stops and looks at me.
"No regrets for me either, babe. You feel like heaven."
He continues to slowly move in and out. A moan of ecstasy leaves his chest. I can tell he is dying to go faster.
"Noah, I'm okay. Move."
"Thank FUCK, you're killing me." With that, he starts moving faster. It’s painful but I am so wet it eases the discomfort.
I can hear our hips slapping together.
"God you feel so good," his voice is husky. I start to moan as he keeps grinding. His mouth crashes mine. My whole body is alive. He starts breathing harder. He reaches down and starts to touch my clit.
With each urgen
t thrust, it leaves me going higher and higher. I feel the start of an orgasm
"I'm going to cum Noah. Don't stop...Noah."
"Don't hold back. Let your pussy squeeze my dick."
Oh. God. It's here. My whole body starts to convulse as he continues to take me to a place I've never been. I sink further into the bed. My ears are ringing, my fingers are tingling and my toes are curling as the greatest feeling sweeps over me. Amazing. He continues slamming and then I feel his body tense with his release.
"Molly," he says breathlessly.
Noah
Fuck. This can't be happening. My condom broke. I felt it snap the moment I felt my release. I knew I should have pulled out but I couldn't. Her tight pussy held me captive. She felt so good. I couldn't lose the moment or the contact, nor did I want to.
I pull out and see her blood covering my dick. I feel proud. It feels like a badge of honor. It's the highest honor a woman can give a man. Then I see the split condom. I roll the useless remains off of me. I guide her post orgasm body over. She is even more beautiful. How is that possible? She is smiling and I can tell she is exhausted. I hate ruining this moment but I have too.
"Molly when is your period due?" she blushes. I just fucked her, her blood is on my dick, and she is embarrassed? Cute.
"Why?" She asks.
"Please just tell me."
"In nine days. Why?" Relief washes over me; we should be in the clear.
"Baby, the condom broke." She sits up quickly and looks panicked.
"Noah. I'm not on birth control,” she says quietly.
Molly
Shit. That scares me. He's definitely not a virgin. I hope he's clean. I instantly feel sick to my stomach.
"We could do the morning after pill if you're worried, but we should be in the clear," he says.
"There are still STDs, Noah. I damn well know that you're no virgin." Hell, I'd take a baby over chlamydia or herpes any day.
"I'm clean. I am tested often. I have never had sex without a condom," he states firmly.
That's good, I guess. I start feeling claustrophobic. I need to get out of this bed. I grab my dress as I go to the bathroom to wash up. I splash some water on my face. Breathe, Molly. You did it. It was great. Now woman up. I start cleaning myself up. I'm bloody. Ugh. Why must girls get the embarrassing parts? I need to get out of here. I quickly dress and walk back into the room. He cocks his head to the side.
"Leaving?" he asks.
"Yes, I figure it will make things less awkward," I respond.
"Baby, stay the night," he pats the bed.
"I don't think that's a good idea. I should go."
"Molly, it's late. I will take you home in the morning. Come lay with me. It's still nighttime and you promised me one night. I am exhausted and I know you have to be as well. Just come to bed." Of course, he's right. I walk over to the bed and lay down.
I am trying not to touch his body. I hear a chuckle leave him. Bastard. He thinks my awkwardness is funny. I slap him in the stomach and he grunts. He places his arm under my neck and pulls me in to the crook of his arm. I inhale deeply, sweaty Noah smells yummy.
"Molly, thank you for my birthday gift. It will be treasured for a lifetime," he says sweetly.
"Thank you for an amazing first time." His hand rubs my inner thigh.
"You're welcome. You are so beautiful when you cum." His words leave me wanting another night.
"Night, Noah," I say.
"Molly?"
"Yeah?"
"We have to remain a secret."
"I know." Tears spring my eyes. He just completely cheapened this experience with that comment. I need out of here. I don't move yet because I don't want to fight. I will wait him out as soon as he goes to sleep. I will slip out.
Noah
I awake to my phone ringing. I ignore it because I want to give Molly a morning wake up. I reach for her and the bed is cold.
I get up to search my penthouse. Nowhere. I go to the breakfast bar and find a note.
Dr. Stone,
Thank you. Last night was incredible. Don't worry I will keep our night a secret. I promise I leave here with no regrets.
No longer a virgin,
Molly
Chapter 15
Noah
Shit! She left in the middle of the night. We didn't talk about the danger she is in. Did she make it home okay? Why did the secret comment piss her off? I've told her time and time again that I like my privacy. Jesus. I need to fix this. I decide to call Maddox to ask him to do a drive-by. I hope she made it safely home.
Molly
Thankfully, it's the weekend. That means I have two days to process what's going on inside me. I have relived every moment of last night, every touch. I can still hear his breath in my ear. I can feel his kiss on my neck. I can literally feel the ache between my legs. I had the most amazing night physically. I need to clear my head. I decide to head downstairs and go for a run.
It's just after nine. The warm July morning helps me relax. It's just what I need. I start stretching when I realize there is a cop hanging out across the street. I feel like they are always here. Maybe I should ask if there has been a string of burglaries. I wonder if they are still hanging out because of the shooting. I have tried to block that day out, mainly because I don't want to live in fear. Now that I work in an E.R., I have to get accustomed to the fact any type of injury can come in. I've never been a part of an actual event that transpired that led the people there. Still, I know it's a random act of violence. It can happen anywhere, especially here in a big city.
I take off jogging. Running has always been my sport. It's the only sport I did in high school. I wasn't cool enough to be a cheerleader, not tall enough to be a basketball player; I was just average. It has helped me to keep in shape. Well, good enough shape.
I wouldn't be able to run marathons, but I can comfortably run a few miles. My mind goes back to last night. Last night I didn't feel average. Noah made me feel like a woman, though he is great at contradictions. One minute he wants me, and the next, he cheapens me. Why? At every turn, I've tried to be nice. Sure, I've yelled because he can be an asshole.
By the time I’ve gone about two miles, I realize that I need to pay attention to my surroundings. I don't want to get lost, that's another problem that I don’t need.
Thinking forward to Monday I wonder how I should handle the situation. Should I pretend nothing happened? Should I try to clear the air? Should I try to find out why he made that comment? By the time I have made it back home, I feel like I've come to the only conclusion I can. I will pretend it didn't happen. He wants a secret. I will be his secret. I won't respond to any comments he may make about last night. I realize I have to find a way to be okay with all this. I know I won't be okay any time soon, but I will be. No regrets. No, I will not regret Noah.
Noah
It's Monday. I've waited for this day for what seems like an eternity. I got called in early so I will be able to watch her walk in. Why I am doing this, I don't know. It's a train wreck. I want to stop watching and yet I can't until I know how it ends. I wanted to reach out to her this weekend, but figured she would want her space. Maddox had someone on her at all times this weekend. I didn't feel comfortable that she was out running, but I knew it was probably her medicine. At 6:50 a.m., she walks in. I've parked myself at the nurse’s station pretending to be working. Yes. It has come to this. She looks beautiful today. Her hair is in the same messy ponytail it was on the first day. Today, however, it looks cute. I wait until she looks at me. I want to see if she will speak to me, what she has to say.
I notice that she is doing everything she can to avoid me. She has yet to look up. As the nurses start to clear the station, I decide I will make the first move.
"Good morning Molly. How are you?" I hope she can hear what I am trying to say. She looks up. Smiles a smile that I know is fake.
"Good morning, Dr. Stone. I'm good, thanks. Hope you have a great day." She walks off. I
want to grab her and tell her I worded things wrong that night, that I wasn't sure what I meant. I need time to figure it out. I need time to figure me out.
No, what I really need is time to figure her and me out.
Molly
Thankfully, I was pulled into training today. I'd forgotten all about it. It took up the morning so I decide to find Brayden and ask him for lunch. When I walk into the E.R., I scan it making sure I don't bump into Noah. I can't see him so I rush to curtain four where Brayden is.
"Hey you about to finish up? I wanted to see if you want lunch."
"Yep, almost done," he says as he turns off the nebulizer.
"Do you want to stay here or head to the corner deli?"
"Ooh, I've not tried the deli. Let’s go there," I say thankfully. I need to get out of here.
"So how was the rest of your weekend?" I ask.
"Can we talk about something else?" Brayden says. I know something is bothering him.
"Okay. I just want to say thank you for standing up for me. Sorry that you had to. I should have just walked away."
I am still embarrassed. He stops walking and grabs my hand. It's a sweet gesture that I am thankful for.
"Hey, no one messes with my new-found friend. I am glad I was there," I want to cry again.
"Well thank you. I am happy you're in my life. I really need a good friend," I say. We sit down after ordering our food. He is about to find out how nosey I can get.
"So, I saw Missy eying you at the bar. Seems you’ve got something she likes," I smile.
"Ugh, Molly I don't want to talk about her."
"Why? You okay?" I ask truly concerned.
"I feel like for three years I've built her up in my head. Only to realize she isn't what I thought she was." He says.
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