Dragon Dream

by Elena Van Peborgh

  Eventually, the showers turned out to be decent. Lilith gave me a bucket filled with water and some clothes. First, I wondered what the hell I was supposed to do with that bucket, but it became clear once I entered the shower cabin. I needed to pour the bucket into some sort of container; water came out of it when I pulled at a rope. It was primitive, but it could have been worse.

  The next day was very different because I had to run around all day. I was so exhausted by the evening; I fell asleep immediately. I still thought it was cold at night, but it didn’t seem to bother me once asleep. I was awoken in the middle of the night by Lilith shaking me.

  “What? Do I need to get up already?” I asked, confused.

  It felt like I had fallen asleep not that long ago. But I immediately shut up when I saw her face. It was dark but even now I could see she was very pale. The sweat beaded off her forehead. I was wide awake now. I got up fast and threw the blankets off me.

  “Are you sick?”

  She tiredly shook her head. “Outside,” she murmured.

  I supported her while leading her outside. I noticed her shaking all over her body. What was wrong with her? In the moonlight, I could see she was as pale as a corpse. It was terrifying. She didn’t look good at all. I wondered if I should get help, but I didn’t want to leave her alone here. She shivered and anxiously looked at me. Her pupils were dilated, I couldn’t see the irises in her eyes anymore, and they were bloodshot.

  “What’s happening, Lilith?”

  “Can’t you see that? I’m transforming.”

  Her answer surprised me at first. I hadn’t expected it’d happen so unexpectedly with the dragons. I recovered quickly and scanned my surroundings. We were not in a good location; she would grow a lot. There wasn’t enough space for a dragon here.

  “Come with me. We need to go a bit higher up,” I ordered Lilith.

  We climbed higher up the mountain until I found a more suitable spot. The terrain of the mountain was pretty flat here. Lilith would have enough space. I folded my arms and waited. It wouldn’t take that long. When I looked into Lilith’s eyes, I saw she already had the eyes of a dragon; they were huge and yellow with thin vertical pupils. I noticed a muscle moving in her cheek, and then, finally, it really began. All hell broke loose.

  Her bones made loud snapping noises, and she screamed. She fell on the ground. She moved in all kinds of directions and ways while the terrible snapping sound of her bones was still audible. I was in shock. I had never experienced something like this, and I didn’t know what to do. I was too afraid to do anything. I was scared I would cause her even more pain. It sounded like all the bones in her body were breaking.

  Finally, the awful noise stopped. I was relieved. It had been horrible to hear Lilith’s bones breaking, but her screams had been terrifying. Now she was awfully quiet and remained silent. I ran towards her and helped her get up. I couldn’t see her face and wondered if it was still human. Her body was still human.

  “Go back,” she hissed.

  I released her and quickly took a couple of steps backwards. She shivered one more time. The shiver ran over her whole spine and down her body towards her toes. There was one more long cracking sound making her scream again. I couldn’t imagine how much pain she was experiencing, but I was frightened. I had had no idea the dragons had to experience this.

  Suddenly, Lilith changed. She grew, and her clothes ripped apart, the pieces flying in all kinds of directions. She was a fire dragon now. Steam came out of her nose when she exhaled.

  I anxiously took a few more steps backwards. I was too scared to be near her. She stretched her red wings and clapped them once. Suddenly, she turned her head and... She looked right at me. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t say a word. I didn’t dare to make any movement. I held my breath. I was afraid Lilith would react badly if I moved. She was a fire dragon and could literally roast me like a chicken. She directed her attention towards the piece of fabric stuck to a spike on her tail. I immediately understood that she wouldn’t be able to change back to her human form until she had other clothes.

  “Oh, I will get new clothes for you,” I said.

  I immediately ran away. I wasn’t really afraid of Lilith, but I didn’t want to be near her while she was a fire dragon. Once I was inside the mountain, I realised I had no idea where I would find clothes. I couldn’t let Lilith wait outside all night. The night would protect her against humans, and she would be able to protect herself as a fire dragon, but she was my friend. I couldn’t just leave her like that. I had to help her. That transformation had woken her in the middle of the night. She was most likely exhausted. I shivered when I recalled the transformation.

  I wandered around through the hallways while searching for clothes. I felt a bit dispirited. Questions haunted me. Would I also go through what Lilith had experienced? Would Adam and Sil have had so much pain? I understood why they never talked about their past if that was the case. Maybe Sil had lost her sense of feeling because the pain had been too much for her. Maybe she hadn’t been able to bear the pain and maybe it had shut down her whole nervous system.

  “Tatiana? What are you doing here?”

  I immediately turned around, startled. I hadn’t expected to encounter anyone. It was Zoran who had talked to me.

  “Lilith woke me up. She has transformed,” I answered.

  “What? Now?”

  “Yes, she’s outside, but she... Her clothes are ripped apart.”

  Zoran ordered me to stay where I was and walked away. He returned a bit later carrying some clothes with him.

  “Where is she?” he asked.

  I led him to Lilith who was still where I had left her earlier. She sat on her hind legs, watching the stars while breathing little clouds of steam.

  “Lilith, I know your lungs are burning, but you need to spit out the fire. If you keep it inside, it will just hurt more,” Zoran said to her.

  I immediately got out of the way. I looked around to check if I could hide myself behind a rock, but there was nothing nearby. I hoped to be at a safe distance; I preferred not being roasted alive. Lilith took a deep breath and almost seemed to choke. She coughed, which caused her to breathe out small flames. The smoke she was breathing had a very dark colour; so dark it was almost black.

  Zoran jumped forward and bumped his fist against one of her hind legs. It was incredibly dangerous to get so close to a fire dragon, and I feared he’d get roasted. But he was the leader of the dragons, so Lilith stopped coughing and directed all her attention to him.

  “Again. Concentrate,” he ordered her.

  He immediately jumped away when she took another deep breath. This time, she spat out a huge, blazing flame when she exhaled. It was very impressive to see a dragon spit out fire, I was so impressed I couldn’t move. If Lilith were to roast me now, I wouldn’t even be able to run away. She coughed again, which caused smoke to come out of her nose. The smoke was lighter now, its appearance more like steam.

  “Better?” Zoran asked.

  He instantly had Lilith’s full attention. She nodded. He threw the clothes on the ground in front of her paws and made a movement with his hand. I didn’t know what the sign meant, but she did. She immediately transformed back to her human form and quickly put on the clothes Zoran had thrown on the ground.

  “You’ve ruined your clothes. You know what that means.”

  He hadn’t formulated it as a question, but Lilith still nodded. “I will keep these clothes until the end of next week,” she replied.

  He was actually very strict towards his own sister. Did he even know how much pain she had experienced? But I kept my mouth shut. It’d be better if I didn’t disagree with Zoran.

  “Tatiana, thank you for helping Lilith,” he directed his attention to me.

  I nodded gratefully to him. He escorted Lilith and me back to our sleeping cave. He was just worried and wanted to be certain we would reach our sleeping cave safe and sound. He was a very good leader. The shape-shifters
could actually use someone like him. They could learn a lot from the dragons. The dragons were also different from each other, just like the various kinds of shape-shifters were, and there were several classes, but the dragons were still unified as one. I didn’t know what had gone wrong with the shape-shifters that we hated each other so much. It made sense that the lower shape-shifters were jealous of the Higher. But foxes, birds, and bears, for example, were all lower shape-shifters and they couldn’t even stand each other.

  I felt rather lonely when Lilith left me alone after dinner the next day. I felt like I was an outsider and couldn’t be part of some kind of elite club. Luckily, I still had Bernardus, Revan, and Zoran. The two druids had remained seated so there were only three of us left at our table. Zoran came towards our table and sat down. I quickly glanced over my shoulder, but the other two giant dragons were still sitting at their own table.

  “For a minute, I thought the other giant dragons had abandoned you as well, just like my friends have done to me,” I said.

  “They haven’t abandoned you. You’ll see them again in a bit. You need to understand dragons were born freely in the past. They were born as dragons and not as human as it is the case nowadays. Maybe you think now that the first transformation is very painful, and that’s true, but the first transformation is also very liberating.”

  “Oh, is that right? Sorry, but that sounds rather sadistic. How can that pain be liberating?”

  “No, you don’t understand. It’s not the pain that is liberating. You only feel free if you have transformed into a dragon. The days are very taxing and it’s very tiring to function as humans for the whole day. Dragons need to stretch their wings from time to time. They need to be able to fly sometimes.”

  I understood what Zoran was telling me. But something still bothered me though; there was something that didn’t add up.

  “Why do you never transform?” I asked.

  “Because I am too much at risk; it’s too dangerous. The hunters know all the different kinds of dragons and they also know the giant dragons. Giant dragons are very desirable because they are so strong, and incredibly rare. We’ve already lost too many dragons and I can’t take the risk that the hunters would catch me.”

  “What about the other two giant dragons?”

  “It’s better if they also keep a low profile. Then the hunters might even think the giant dragons have gone extinct.”

  I suddenly felt sorry for the giant dragons. It was better when they didn’t transform because that was safer for them. Therefore, they weren’t allowed to fly during the evening. I had understood from Zoran’s story that dragons could feel their dragon shape inside them. Their inner dragon lived inside them and desired to be released. The other dragons could do this during the evening during flying time, but the giant dragons couldn’t do this. I thought Zoran was probably a bit sad because of this, but he put his own feelings aside to protect the other dragons. After all, he was the leader. I had a lot of respect for Zoran. He cared about his people. He was also very friendly, and patient and he had helped me a lot.

  “I’m sorry if I ask stupid questions. I wouldn’t want you to waste your time because of me,” I said.

  “Oh no, you don’t waste my time at all. I don’t mind answering your questions. You ask good questions. Besides, it’s my duty to guide you and to make sure you feel at home here.”

  “I already feel at home here. Everyone is very helpful and friendly. It already feels like I am a part of this society even though I’m still a shape-shifter.”

  Zoran smiled wide when I said that. I knew I needed to be patient, but I wondered when I would finally become a dragon. I did feel good here, but I wanted to be one of them, then this would really be home.

  “It sounds like you’re fully ready to become a dragon,” Zoran reacted.

  “Yeah, definitely. Totally. When will you turn me into a dragon?”

  Zoran looked at Bernardus and Revan.

  “Well, in two days it will be the end of the week. Everyone will then have the whole day off. It will be the ideal day to perform the ritual,” Revan responded.

  Wow, I had never expected it would go that fast. I kind of knew what the Capital druids were like, and shape-shifters must wait a long time if they needed something from them. I looked forward to it; I was eager with anticipation.

  For the next few days, I followed the usual daily pattern of the dragons. Lilith and Isaak seemed to be very satisfied with me. Lilith was happy because she never needed to wake me up; I always woke myself. Isaak was happy because I did an excellent job. He told me he heard nothing but good comments about me. And I loved this work; I had the best job in the whole world. I could run around all day and explore new hallways.

  The special day finally arrived. It was finally the end of the week. Everyone was in a good mood because they didn’t need to work for the whole day. But I had even more reasons to be happy because today was the day; I would finally become a dragon. After breakfast, I went to an isolated room with Bernardus and Revan. I wasn’t tall but even I had to bend over a bit to enter the room through the small hole. Bernardus and Revan entered too. There was sand on the floor and Revan took a stick which had been lying on the ground. He drew a circle in the sand and ordered me to stand in the middle of it.

  “Do you remember what I told you on the day we met? You’re a fox now, so you’re already connected to the earth. Therefore, the earth will immediately accept you if you become an earth dragon,” Bernardus said.

  “Please remember this decision will be permanent. This ritual can’t be undone. It’s not possible for you to become a shape-shifter again. You’ll never be a fox again, and you’ll get all the traits of the dragons. That means you won’t be able to transform if you’re hurt. You’ll need to heal before being able to transform,” Revan added.

  “The good news is that dragons heal fast.”

  Revan gave Bernardus an angry look for interrupting him. “You also need to follow all the rules. The rules are sacred; they were made for a reason. If you break the rules, you’ll be punished accordingly,” Revan warned me.

  I nodded. I understood that. I didn’t know all the rules yet, but I would learn them. I would become a full member of the dragon society. I already felt like a full member, I felt at home here. I would leave everyone behind: my parents, Vera, Flora, Jon. I wanted to be here, in the mountains. I was ready for this; I was more ready than I had ever been.

  Nineteen

  “I want to be an earth dragon,” I said.

  I was very confident. The two druids each went to stand at a segment of the circle, straight across from each other with me in the middle; the three of us formed one straight line. In unison, the two druids synchronously started walking clockwise along the edge of the circle. Revan took a step when Bernardus did. First, they walked normally, but then they started to hop. Sometimes they did a weird jump. Next, they started speaking words I didn’t understand. I had no clue what language they were speaking; it was an unknown language.

  My skin glowed, and burned, and my head pounded. I touched my forehead to check how warm I felt. But right when I touched the skin of my forehead, I felt a lot of pain running from my neck over my spine through my whole body. I collapsed onto the ground on my hands and knees. I felt more pain running through my spine and over my body.

  “Picture the fox in your mind. Imagine the fox standing right in front of you.”

  I had no clue who had said that. I had too much pain to recognise the voice. I only heard the words. I closed my eyes and concentrated with all my willpower to see the fox I was. I tried to visualise myself as a fox. I had never seen myself as a fox, but I used the description of the colour of my fur Jon had given me. I tried to imagine how he had seen me when I had appeared as a fox in front of him for the first time.

  I smiled slightly. Jon... I seemed to think about him a lot lately. I could partly thank him for the fact I had received this opportunity. I missed him, but I couldn’t back out
. Not now. I was this close. I must realise my dream. I couldn’t think about him now. I concentrated again and felt something pushing against me.

  I opened my eyes. A female fox with auburn fur stood right in front of me. The fox was truly beautiful. She had intelligent eyes which were a mix of yellow and green. I extended my hand to touch her snout, but the image of the fox faded, and she disappeared. A huge, proud dragon took her place. The dragon had a brown body and yellow wings. When I looked at the eyes of the dragon, I noticed its eyes had the same colour as the fox” eyes. The fox had turned into an earth dragon.

  “Do you accept your fate as an earth dragon?” Revan asked.

  “Yes,” I answered immediately.

  A shiver ran over my whole spine. I fell face first, flat on the ground. I felt the ground shaking; it pulsated and vibrated. I lay still; I didn’t move at all. This moment felt so special, so magical, and I didn’t want to ruin it. It became quiet; the ground stopped shaking. I still didn’t dare to move. I couldn’t feel my toes. Had I become numb? Had the transition of a fox to an earth dragon paralysed me?

  “You can get up now,” Bernardus said.

  I tried to move my toes and luckily, they obeyed. I breathed in with relief. I wasn’t paralysed. I slowly went to sit straight. Bernardus stood in front of me and offered me his hand. I grabbed it so he could help me stand up. Revan leaned against the wall and gave me a questioning look. I frowned. Was something wrong? I opened my mouth to ask what was wrong, but there was no sound; the words didn’t come out. I tried to ask the question again, but still couldn’t form a word. Bernardus examined me thoroughly and frowned.

  “Can’t you say anything?” he asked.

  I shook my head. I wanted to tell him I was trying to say something, anything, but I couldn’t. It was frustrating.