Only

by HelenKay Dimon

  “I thought you liked men.”

  Eli stared in the direction of her heated trail. “I kind of like her, in a she-could-kick-your-ass way.”

  “Yeah, so do I.”

  “You might want to start showing it.” Elijah held up a hand as if in surrender. “Just saying.”

  Aiming to end the conversation, Bast took an unfair shot. “How would you like it if I gave you love life advice about Wade?”

  Instead of taking the bait, Eli nodded his head from side to side as if he was contemplating the question. “The way I see it neither one of us is an expert on the Royer siblings.”

  “You may have a point.”

  “But, if I can give you some advice.”

  “Can I stop you?” Being the boss didn’t seem to do it.

  “You might want to be careful because I think she’s tougher than Wade.”

  Forget training and weapons, Bast knew that comment was correct. “No doubt.”

  • • •

  Kyra fumed as she took a drink order and walked up to the bar to give it to Wade. She refused to look at Bast. She felt the heat of his stare, sensed him talking about her with Elijah. Since all she wanted to do was look over and flash them the finger, which had to be a club violation of some sort, she pretended they didn’t exist.

  She didn’t want to deal with Wade either. Pretty much all males pissed her off at the moment.

  She read off the order then turned to go, but he grabbed her hand and held her steady. “What’s going on?”

  Clueless men everywhere she looked. “I’m working.”

  “I’m talking about your conversation with Bast.” Wade wiped off the bar then grabbed glasses to fill her order.

  She couldn’t exactly open up. That was part of the problem. Bast did so many things right, but when he got something wrong, it was in epic style. Insisted on secrecy. Took for granted she’d be there each night. Kept her at a distance.

  She hated all of it.

  Deep down she knew she was the one changing the rules. They had a deal, but not one she liked and one she always vowed to shift. From the beginning she wanted more than sex and hoped he would grow to crave something bigger, too. Part of her believed he did but then he acted like an ass and she didn’t know where she stood.

  Finding out the distance of the divide between what she wanted and what was scared her to death. Her, a woman raised by a two-bit criminal with an oversized ego and a desire to use her for sex to gather more resources.

  She survived all that, but falling in love was killing her.

  And that’s what it was. If she were honest, she’d admit she’d loved him for a long time. She could push him and seduce him, but the risk of him finding out her true feelings and not returning them—or worse, not even wanting to try to return them—pounded her into the ground.

  But she couldn’t say any of that to the brother who sacrificed so much for her. Not yet. So, she said the obvious. “He was ordering.”

  Wade eyed her up as he poured. “The discussion looked pretty heated.”

  “When I started working here, you promised not to hover.” It actually took her in combination with Jarrett and Becca to gain the promise from Wade to refrain from punching every member in the face.

  He’d been adamant she work somewhere else. Anywhere else. Winning him over took time and he likely only relented because his nasty breakup with Eli had him in a weakened state.

  “I stayed over here, didn’t I?” Wade set a glass down a bit too hard. “I didn’t barge in and cause a scene.”

  She glanced over and saw Bast talking with Elijah. “Gee, I wonder why.”

  Wade stopped shifting around behind the bar. Stopped making drinks. His big body slammed to a halt. “Meaning?”

  “Elijah.” They danced all around this. He told her the guy he was dating was wrong for him, then refused to discuss it again or name him. She’d pieced it all together from other people and observation.

  Without moving his head, Wade gave Elijah a quick look. “What do you know about him?”

  “Are you looking for an answer other than Elijah is your boyfriend and you forgot to tell me?”

  “He’s not my boyfriend.”

  Looked like her brother was in the mood for a game of verbal gymnastics. “Was.”

  “Still wrong.” He lined up the drinks from her order. “Who told you? Becca? This sounds like Becca.”

  One more clueless male in a night full of them. “I have eyes, Wade. You two stare at each other like lovesick kids but what you look like you want to do to him is very grown-up.”

  Wade exhaled, visibly bringing his temper under control. “We were talking about whatever’s going on between you and Bast.”

  “You want to talk about Bast. I wanted to talk about Elijah.” She actually didn’t want to talk about either of them. Getting lost in the monotony of work sounded better tonight. “Bottom line, you should worry about your own love life.”

  Wade moved as if in slow motion. His head shifted to the side and his eyes narrowed. “You’re saying talking about Bast is the same thing as talking about your love life?”

  Son of a bitch. Her first misstep in the secret relationship and she didn’t waste it on something small. No, she went right for the sonic boom. “I was just trying to make a point.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m wondering.” Bast looked over at Wade again. This time the expression bordered on a glare.

  Anxiety welled inside her. “What?”

  “If maybe I’m the one who should be talking with Bast.”

  She shouted as Wade finished his sentence. “No.”

  “That’s emphatic.”

  Too much. She eased back on the panic and tried to sound reasonable. “Don’t mess up my job at the club.”

  “I won’t.”

  Time for the more important warning. The one she feared Wade would never heed. “And leave Bast alone.”

  Wade scoffed. “We’ll see.”

  TWENTY-TWO

  Elijah moved around his new basement apartment, making sure he had everything just as he wanted it. With one switch he turned on the surveillance equipment, and images from around the outside of Bast’s town house flickered to life in quarter squares on the two monitors set up on the kitchen table.

  To be effective he should have cameras and listening devices inside the town house but Bast refused. He thought his standard-issue alarm system was sufficient. The guy knew a lot about the law but he ranked as a total amateur in the protection business.

  Eli walked around the table and grabbed a beer out of the small fridge. The place measured about a thousand square feet and had been furnished and fixed up as if Bast intended to rent it out. Eli couldn’t imagine that in light of how secretive the guy could be. Hell, he fit right in with the former undercover agents he hung out with.

  Whatever the original plan, Eli benefitted now. The spacious one bedroom apartment qualified as the nicest place he’d ever lived, other than those months in Wade’s condo. Studio dumps and half-furnished temporary safe houses filled Eli’s past. This place had more than a mattress and a coffeepot. The separate rooms and obvious luxury actually made Eli twitchy. He could only be in one room at a time, so more than that struck him as unnecessary.

  The doorbell to his unit rang. Two in the morning seemed like the wrong time for salesmen. That realization had him putting down the beer and grabbing for his gun as he stalked to the door.

  Adrenaline pumped through him as he stood to the side of the doorframe and gave the monitors a quick peek. What he saw had him easing the grip on the weapon.

  Understanding the image took another minute.

  After unlocking, he opened the door. “What are you doing here?”

  Wade put a hand on the side of Eli’s gun and shifte
d the barrel away. “Put the gun down.”

  “Right.” The weight in his hand reminded Eli he was even holding it. Until that second he’d forgotten it. Dropping his arm to the side, he used the other to usher Wade inside. “Did something happen at the club?”

  “I came to talk to Bast but decided to visit you instead.” Wade walked around the security setup, careful to step over stray cords. “What’s all this?”

  “I’m watching over Bast.”

  “Does he know?”

  As he did ever since they broke up, Wade managed to find the comment sure to piss Eli off. His temper flared. “What kind of question is—”

  “Forget it.”

  “I would if I knew what you were talking about.”

  “Just stop talking.” Wade took three steps inside then turned around. His broad shoulders blocked Eli from the rest of the apartment.

  Almost without thought, Eli backed up and his ass hit the door. “What’s going on with you?”

  “I don’t want conversation.” Wade slammed his palms against the wood on either side of Eli’s head.

  At this distance, Wade’s familiar scent hit Eli. He could see the heated intensity in Wade’s eyes.

  Him being here. Him gathering in this close. None of it made sense. “I don’t get it.”

  “You inside me. Fast and as filthy as you want.”

  Eli’s mind went blank as his stomach flipped inside out. “You’re offering—”

  “Not a relationship. It doesn’t mean we’re getting back together.” Wade’s hand pressed against Elijah’s and shoved him back against the door with a thud. “It’s just sex.”

  Eli dreamed about this for weeks. Not in those words. Not in a suggestion that provided a release and nothing more. But it was something. Maybe a start, a step back toward the end he wanted to reach.

  In any context, Wade coming here and requesting sex qualified as the ultimate fantasy. After the fighting and angry words, this scene seemed impossible as recently as this morning. But the moment waited right there at his fingertips now.

  The thought of being with Wade again had Eli’s brain shutting down while his body revved up for action. But he had to know this was real and not some sort of fucked-up piece of revenge.

  “That’s quite an offer,” he said, clenching and unclenching his hands to keep from reaching for Wade too soon.

  Wade didn’t hold back. His fingers curled as he gathered Eli’s shirt against his palm and shortened the distance between their bodies. “Take it.”

  The tighter grip, feeling Wade’s breath against his lips, combined to send common sense into a nosedive. “It’s also a pretty big change in position.”

  “I watched you tonight at the club. I’d forgotten how much I liked watching you.” Wade’s hand slipped inside Eli’s shirt to touch skin. “The way you move, like you’re circling prey. Those long legs eating up the floor as you walk. How you hold your body. That amazing face.”

  Something exploded in Eli’s brain. It had always been this way. Just thinking about stripping Wade naked and holding his thick cock in his hand set Eli’s skin on fire. “And now you want to fuck.”

  Wade nodded. “Yes or no?”

  He should have been strong and demanded more but there was no way in hell that was going to happen. Not when Wade stood there asking for it and Eli needed it so much. “Sick prick I am, I’ll take what I can get.”

  Wade’s hand went back to the wall and his body balanced there, over Eli. Unblinking, Wade stared him down. “Take your shirt off,” he ordered.

  “You do it.” Because Eli loved the feel of Wade’s strong hands running all over him.

  Never breaking eye contact, Wade opened the shirt. After two buttons, his speed quickened and he ripped it right off Eli, letting if fall to the floor and leaving his chest bare. Then his hot mouth went to Eli’s neck and he sucked hard.

  Just as Eli caught his breath, Wade’s lips moved. Down Eli’s chest. Licking his nipples as his hands dipped even lower to rub over Eli’s fly.

  Sensations pummeled him. Hit Eli from every direction. The mix of hands and mouth brought the memories racing back to the sex they’d already shared. Ache combined with need until Eli grabbed the sides of Wade’s face and dragged his mouth back up again.

  The fierce kiss locked them together in a whirl of heat. Tongues, teeth—this wasn’t a sweet touch. It demanded and claimed. Hands roamed and their legs tangled together in the rush to get even closer. When they broke apart they continued to hold on to each other with unbending grips.

  “Where’s the bedroom?” Heavy pants escaped Wade’s chest as he struggled to get the words out.

  The extra steps weren’t needed. Eli was fine using the floor. Throwing everything off the table. “It’s—”

  “Just get us there.”

  That was all the incentive Eli needed. He took off walking and reached for his belt. After only a few steps, Wade had him up against the wall, their bodies knocking against each other as fingers touched zippers and undid buttons.

  When they got to the bedroom doorway, Eli held Wade there, just as he’d fantasized about since moving in. Eli’s hand dipped into the opening of Wade’s dark dress pants and slipped by the elastic of his briefs. Resting his head on Wade’s shoulder, Eli took out Wade’s cock. Felt it grow firm and long under his hand. Marveled at the heated smoothness.

  “Fuck, I need this.” Wade ended the comment by fitting his mouth over Eli’s and kissing him long and deep.

  They somehow guided each other into the room. Their pants hung open and they caressed each other, Wade through Eli’s briefs. Heat pounded off their skin. Wade’s shirt was off and Eli had no idea when that happened. He was too busy pumping his hand up and down Wade’s cock and watching his hips rotate in time with the thrusts. He could go on like this forever.

  But the room spun. One minute Wade’s arms wrapped around Eli and the next his body snaked down. Wade sat on the edge of the bed as he worked Eli’s pants and underwear the rest of the way off. Then he leaned forward and his lips slipped over the end of Eli’s cock with a hand at the base. Unable to move his legs or find his balance, Eli held on to Wade’s broad shoulders and let him take the lead.

  In and out, Eli watched his body disappear into Wade’s mouth. Over and over again as the rhythm increased. His cheeks pumped in and out and he sucked. His mouth worked and a palm went to Eli’s ass.

  Shifting, he pulled Eli down to the mattress, at first over him, treating him to a hot kiss that threatened to blow the back of Eli’s head off, then beside him on the mattress.

  Eli looked up and saw Wade’s determined expression floating in front of his face.

  “I have condoms.” Because, no matter what, Eli had stayed hopeful and kept supplied.

  “Where?”

  Eli lifted an arm over his head and pointed to the nightstand. “There.”

  “Lube?”

  Shit, just the word had Elijah ready to go. “Yes.”

  The coolness of the room blew over Eli’s bare body as Wade got up to search. Missing Wade’s touch and wanting to hold on to the sensation, Eli slipped his hand up and down his cock as he waited for the man he thought of as his lover to return.

  “Hey.” Wade stood at the side of the bed, looking down, watching Eli’s hand travel. “That’s my job.”

  That’s all Eli wanted. Strong hands and that incredible mouth. With some effort, he forced his fingers to let go and dropped his arm across the bed. “Come do it.”

  “After.”

  Eli knew what that meant. Knew how Wade liked it. Knew what turned them both on.

  Sitting up, Eli moved over to make room for Wade. “Get on your back.”

  The big man loved being told what to do in bed. They’d spent countless hours, sometimes whole days, with Eli picking positions and seeing how much Wade cou
ld take before he begged for mercy.

  He was doing a different kind of begging now. Need flared in his eyes as Wade climbed on the bed. He slumped down and the back of his hands rested against the bed. The lube and condom sat in his open palms.

  “You do need this,” Eli said as he crawled over Wade. Eli lay on top and let the friction of their bodies excite them as he rocked back and forth. “Fuck, who am I kidding? I need this.”

  Holding both of their cocks in one hand, Eli moved, bringing them together. Rubbing them against one another.

  The byplay had Wade’s back lifting off the bed. “Jesus, Eli. Fuck me.”

  “Definitely.” Eli lowered his head. “But I’m going to suck you first.”

  “Damn.” Wade threw an arm over his eyes.

  It didn’t take much to bring him to the edge. A sweep of the tongue over his tip. A long plunge, deep-throating him. Using the lube, Eli worked his finger into Wade’s ass, stretching and readying him.

  Eli wanted to take longer, to draw it out and savor, but his body rebelled. Going from constant sex with this man to nothing had Eli primed. Fitting his hips between Wade’s raised legs, Eli slipped the head inside Wade. The tight push forced a groan out of both of them. The long plunge had Wade grabbing Eli’s biceps.

  The bed shook and the springs creaked. The thrusts shifted their bodies on the mattress. Every muscle strained and Eli fought not to come too soon. As he pumped his body, his hand went to Wade’s cock. The joint pressure had him squirming on the bed.

  Between the fire raging inside him and the grabbing tension in his gut, Eli felt his body reach the snapping point. He tightened his hand on Wade’s cock and moved faster. His hips began to buck and Eli bit down on his bottom lip to hold off for a few more seconds.

  Then the orgasm stormed through him. His body moved without a signal from his brain. He felt wetness on his hand and knew Wade got there at about the same time. Their harsh breathing matched and their body slapped together.

  It was quick and hot and Eli closed his eyes and let it happen.

  The daze went in and out. He drifted off. When the bed shifted again, dipped as the mattress moved, Eli opened his eyes and glanced at the alarm clock next to the bed. Two hours had passed and he’d been inside Wade a second time. They used their mouths and hands on each other. Now the small light on the desk across the room highlighted Wade’s impressive ass as he tiptoed around and picked something off the floor.