Mistress of mistresses

by E R Eddison

  At that word, came Lessingham hastily towards them out of the low dark passage that sloped upward into the long and narrow yard, at the far, or eastern, end whereof was Hagsby's Entry where the washing was. And at that word, whether seeing him or no, the Vicar gave his Pyewacket a damnable slap across the nose, grabbed her fore and aft, and flung her out in the way of Lessingham that walked hastily to greet him. She, with the gadflies of pain and outraged dignity behind her and a strange man before, sprang at his throat. Lessingham was in his shirt, tennis-racket in hand; he smote her with the racket, across the fore-leg as she sprang: this stopped her; she gave way, yowling and limping. 'God's death!' said the Vicar, 'will you kill my brach?' and threw a long-bladed dagger at him. Lessingham avoided it: but the singing of it was in his ear as it passed. He leapt at the Vicar and grappled him. The Vicar wrestled like a cat-a-mountain, but Lessingham held him. Gabriel, at his master's skirt, now kept off the dogs, now pleased himself with looking on the fight, ever side-stepping and dodging, like a man caught in a hill-forest in a whirlwind when the tall pines loosened at root reel and lock together and lurch, creaking and tottering, towards the last downward-tearing ruinous crash. The Vicar's breath began to come and go now in great puffs and hissings like the blowing of a sea-beast. Lessingham rushed him backwards. The edge of the wash-tub caught him behind the knees, and he fell in, body and breeches, with Lessingham a-top of him, and with that violence the tub was overturned.

  They loosed hold and stood up now, and in that nick of time came Amaury into the yard. The Vicar barked out a great laugh, and held out his hand to Lessingham, who took it straight. There was in Lessingham's eye as it rested upon his cousin a singular look, as if he fingered in him a joy too fine for common capacities: such a look as a man might cast, unknowingly and because he could not help it, on his dear mistress. And indeed it was strange to consider how the Vicar, standing thus in nasty clothes, but even risen from a rude tussling-bout and a shameful fall, stood yet as clothed upon with greatness like a mantle, sunning in his majesty like adders in warm beams.

  Lessingham said, 'You did send for me.'

  'Yes,' answered he: 'the matter is of weight. Wash and array us, and we'll talk on't at breakfast. Gabriel, see to't'

  ‘I’ll meet you straight in my lodging, Amaury,' said Lessingham.

  When they were alone, 'Cousin,' said Lessingham, *you did throw a knife at me.'

  The Vicar was ill at ease under Lessingham's secure and disturbing smile. 'Tush,' he said, ' 'twas but in sport.'

  'You shall find it a dangerous sport,' said Lessingham. *Be advised, cousin. Leave that sport.'

  'You are such a quarrelling, affronting—' the words ceased in his throat as his eye met Lessingham's. Like his own great hell-hound bitch awhile ago, he, as for this time, bared fang yet owned his master. And in that owning, as by some hidden law, he seemed to put on again that greatness which but even now, under Lessing-ham's basilisk look, had seemed to fall off from him.

  That was an hour later when those kinsmen brake their fast together on the roof of the great main keep, over the Vicar's lodging: a place of air and wide prospect; and a place besides of secrecy; for when the door in the northwest turret was shut, by which alone was a way up to the roof and the battlements, there was none save the fowls of the air and the huge stones of the floor and parapet to be eaves-droppers at their conference. Here in the midst of the floor was a narrow table set under the sky, with musk-millions and peaches in silver dishes, and a great haunch of cold venison, and marmalades of quince and crab-apple, and flagons of white and red hippocras, with chased gold goblets; and there were diapered linen napkins and silver-handled knives and silver forks to eat withal; all very noble and sumptuously arrayed. Two heavy arm-chairs of old black oak were set at the table; the Vicar sat at the northern side, and over against him Lessingham. They were washen now, and in fair and fine clothes. The Vicar had put on now a kirtle of dark brown velvet edged with rich embroidery of thread of gold, but frayed and dirted and rubbed with wearing; it was cut wide and low about the neck, with a flat collar of white pleated lace tied with silken cord. Lessingham was in a buff-coloured kirtle of soft ribbed silk with a narrow ruff and narrow wristbands of point-lace spangled with beads of jet of the bigness of mustard seeds, and tight-fitting black silk breeches and velvet shoes.

  For a time they ate in silence. Every other while, the Vicar's sudden eye glinted upon Lessingham; it was as if he had a mind to propound some matter, but would be besought for it first. But Lessingham sat sphinx-like and unconcerned in his pleasant ease, as wanting nothing, desiring nothing, at peace with himself and the hour and the fresh morning. At length the Vicar spoke: 'You are as unquiet and restless as an October stag: but three days here, and already I see you in a fever for some new action.'

  Lessingham smiled.

  After a time the Vicar spoke again: 'For my own part, I had as lief sit quiet now: enjoy that fortune hath given us.'

  'I praise your resolution,' said Lessingham: 'a most pious and fine humility in you, whom fortune hath so much blest, without all seconding of your proper action.'

  The Vicar took a peach and skinned it. 'Could we but count', he said, 'on others for the like temperate withholding.'

  Lessingham said nothing.

  'The south breedeth hot bloods and hot livers like summer flies,' said the Vicar after a pause. He poured out some more wine. ' 'Tis that gives me stay,' he said. ' 'Tis that makes me think may be we should do somewhat,' he said, after another mouthful

  Lessingham waited.

  The Vicar smote his fist on the table. ‘I am master of the game, by this lucky turn,' he said: 'play off the fat Admiral 'gainst the Duke, and all the poppets of Meszria 'gainst each in turn: cheap as kissing, and twice as profitable. But it needs suasion, cousin, specious arguments; butter 'em, tickle 'em, conycatch 'em; you must go to 'em like coy wenches: amuse 'em, feed 'em with pathetical flim-flams, flout 'em, then seem to forget 'em, then be somewhat bold with 'em, laugh at 'em; last, i' the happy instant, ring up the grand main piece. Now I, cousin, am a loose, plain, rude talker: call a spade a spade. But you, and you would, should do this to admiration.'

  ‘I have handled such a matter ere now,' said Lessingham, 'and have not spoilt things utterly.'

  'Cousin,' said the Vicar: 'harkee, I would have your head in this. I would have you fare south and play this game for me. You shall be my ambassador. And, so you magnify it not beyond all reason, you shall name your own reward.'

  ‘I did think you knew', said Lessingham, 'that it is not my way to do aught upon reward. Reason why, that to such things only am I wont to set my hand as the reward thereof lieth in the doing of 'em.'

  ' 'Twould make a dog laugh to hear such fiddle-faddle,' said the Vicar. 'Go to, I shall give you wide choice of dominion and treasure when the time comes. Will you do it?'

  'I will do it,' answered Lessingham: 'but upon conditions.' His eyes were a-sparkle. 'Well,' said the Vicar.

  Lessingham said, 'First is, that you uphold the King's testament.'

  'That', replied he, 'proceedeth without question. It is my open proclaimed policy to uphold it throughly, and if you will I'll swear to it.'

  'Second is,' said Lessingham, 'that you own and acknowledge to me, for my private ear only, here in this place, that 'twas by your rede, more, your direct commandment, the King was lately thus miserably murdered.'

  The Vicar laughed. ' 'Las cousin, will you, too, give credit to that slanderous rumour and obloquy now going abroad?'

  'I see', said Lessingham: *you will not fulfil my second condition. Good. Get you another ambassador.'

  The Vicar's face was scarlet to look upon. He said, *I swear to you by God, the very founder, furtherer, and finisher of truth—'

  Lessingham brake in upon him: 'Give over, cousin. Indeed, if you be not damned already 'twere pity damn yourself for so hopeless an attempt as make me credit what I well know to be a lie. Be not angry, cousin: here we be close as the grave: surely 't
wixt you and I 'tis stretch courtesy past use and reason to pretend I know you not for a most approved liar and forswearer.' He ate a bit of marmalade, and leaned back in his chair. 'To be open with you,' he said, 'you have put me into such a gog of going. I would not stay now for the world. Yet see the pass we stand in: if it be as hard for you to tell the truth as for me to go back from my word, I'm sorry for it, for then all goeth miss.'

  'Put case it were true,' said the Vicar. 'Were it not rash in you to desire a knowledge might hurry you to ruin? Like to that great man's mistress, wheedled him to confess a horrid murder, which done, he swore her to -silence upon a poisoned book: knowing it lay not in her to conceal his counsel, bound her to't by death.'

  Lessingham looked at him with the flicker of a smile in his eyes. 'When I am grown so useless to you, cousin, as you should afford to lose me, I'll think it danger to receive such secrets of you. Till then, no. I'll trust no man's affections, but I trust your wisdom most securely. Most securely, cousin.'

  The Vicar toyed with his wine-cup. 'Be that as it may,' he said at last. 'This you talk on is a monstrous folly. Where's the reason of the thing? I were a fine fool to a murdered the young suck-egg, when 'twas in my hand to have overthrown him with force of arms.'

  'There', replied Lessingham, 'you do much belie your prudent mind. It had been folly indeed to stand in the eyes of the world a usurping rebel, when 'twas the readier way, with some devilish pothecary stuff, stibium, henbane, I know not what, to whiffle him off and then put on your mourning and say his jealous brother did it.'

  'Ay, and did he,' said the Vicar. 'And did set too the lying tongues a-wag to say 'twas I.'

  Lessingham yawned and studied the back of his hand, the little silky black hairs that grew fine and smooth on the shapely finger-joints, and the heavy ancient golden worm that he wore on his middle finger, scaly, eating of its own tail, its head a cabochon ruby big as a sparrow's egg, that glowed with inward fires like the blood-red fires of sunset.

  'You will go then?' said the Vicar.

  'But upon condition of confession,' answered he.

  The Vicar lurched up from the table and began to pace about. Lessingham yawned again and played with his ring. Neither spoke. After a minute the Vicar, grinding his teeth, came and stood over against him. Lessingham looked up. 'Dear cousin,' he said, 'how long will you stay this matter's going into action, of so much worth and moment? And how long will you seek to cast suds in my eyes that am long since satisfied of the truth, but will have it of you in friendship? You did send me out of the way to Mornagay whiles it was done. But I know it.'

  The Vicar laughed with anger. 'Know it? Upon what evidence?' He ground his teeth. 'Gabriel, that filth, was't he told you this? I'll have him hewn in pieces.'

  'O spare your pains,' said Lessingham. 'Should Gabriel tell me at noonday 'twas twelve o'clock, I'd have evidence corroborative ere I'd believe it. No, cousin, I am satisfied you did act this murder; not by your own hand, indeed: that were too simple: but yours the deed was. And since you will be so strange with me as deny the thing: well, the Gods be with you, I'll have no further hand with you.'

  The Vicar sat down again and leaned across the table, glowering at him awhile in silence. Lessingham returned his gaze steadily; the eyes of Lessingham were grey with brown and golden speckles. The Vicar at length turned away his gaze. 'Well,' he said betwixt his teeth: ‘I did it.'

  Slowly and luxuriously Lessingham stretched his arms, yawned, and then sat up. He reached out a leisurely hand to the golden flagon and filled his goblet with red hippo-eras. 'Truth hath been long time a-coming out,' he said. '* ‘I’ll pledge her, so.' He drank, looking over the cup at the Vicar with a slow smiling contentment, a strange, clouded look, in which came suddenly an alteration as if the red sun had glared out through a rift in the clouds. 'This murder,' said he, and there were now undertones and overtones in his voice that made it terrible, for all it was so quiet and came on so even and undisturbed a breath: 'This murder was one of the most filthiest acts that ever was done.'

  The Vicar faced him like a bull of Nineveh.

  'You did show me the testament,' said Lessingham. 'Was that some fine counterfeit device of yours, or was it real and true?' The Vicar made no answer. Lessingham said, 'Well, I know it was true, by tests beyond your protestations, cousin. And I remarked it very particularly, wherein it did name you vicar and vice-regent of the Queen and lord protector of her minority, and did enjoin you in all points study her proper good and safety and the enhancement of her sovereign power and dominion, and tender and cherish her lovingly as a father should. You are not much practised in a father's part, I think. Since you did drive your sons away into exile. This will be hard for you.'

  He paused, looking the Vicar straight in the eye. It was as if across that silent table two thunder-clouds faced each other in an awful calm. Lessingham spoke: 'You have promised me to uphold that testament. Well, I'll help you, as I have done before. I'll go on this embassage for you. I’ll follow and uphold you as Vicar of the Queen. But this testament shall be to you as a thing enskied and holy. Which if in any jot or tittle you shall offend against, or one finger's breadth depart from it: no more, but you shall bitterly aby it'

  The Vicar ran his tongue over his lips. For a minute he was silent, then in a kind of cold tart pride he said, ‘I were poorly paid then for my goodness and forbearance; seeing these five minutes past I have had a more than most intolerable lust to murder you, yet, I know not why, forbore.' He stood up with a laugh, and with a forced pretence of jolly-scoffing bravery. 'What squibs be these, for men of our kidney to tease ourselves withal of a spring morning! And, cousin, this is the maggot in the oak-apple: you are clean fallen in love with yonder little wagtail at mere hearsay.'

  Lessingham answered and said, 'With you, cousin, I have long fallen in love.'

  VI

  Lord Lessingham’s Embassage

  THE ADMIRAL AND THE CHANCELLOR DISCORDS OF LESSINGHAM'S PLANTING THE ADMIRAL MUCH PERPLEXED DIVIDED POLITICS LESSINGHAM AND VANDERMAST CONFERENCE IN ACROZAYANA THE DUKE BROUGHT TO BAY A BROKEN CONSORT THE DUKE AND LESSINGHAM: STRANGE CONCORDS.

  That was of an evening of late May-time, the fourth week after these things but now spoken of, that the Lord Beroald sat alone at the upper edge of a clearing in the oak-woods that clothe the low Darial hills south of the lake, looking northwards to Zayana. From his feet the ground fell gently away for a hundred paces or more to the bridle-path. Below that, the tree-clad face of the hill dropped sharply to the lake seven or eight hundred feet beneath. The sky was fair, and the weather smooth and calm. His horse grazed at ease, moving to and fro amid the lush grasses. Save for that munching sound, and the sound of falling water, and now and then the note of a cuckoo calling, and now and then the noise of the horse's hoof against a stone, there was silence. A marmot came out of a heap of fallen rocks behind him on his left and sat up with little fore-paws hanging down as if in a helpless soft dismay, viewing the Chancellor. She whistled and retired back to her hole when the silence was broken by a fresh noise of horse-hooves, and the lord Admiral rode up into the clearing, greeted the Chancellor, and dismounted beside him.

  ‘It is very much', said the Lord Jeronimy, when they were sat down together upon a great stone, 'that we should be fain to take counsel under the sky like owls or moor-dogs.'

  Beroald smiled his cold smile. 'I am much beholden to your lordship for suffering this inconvenience. In the city, a flea shall not frisk forth unless his intelligencers comment upon her. And this new business both calleth for speedy action, and needs that both you and I examine and consider of it o'erheard by none.'

  'Will he not take my no for an answer?' said Jeronimy. *Why, what a loose hot corrupter of virtue have we here. First getteth no from me; then no from the Duke; and now sueth to your lordship to be in a manner his go-between, as if I were a silly maid to comply at last, with oftener scenting of the flower. What new conditions now then?'

  "Tis not altogether thus,' said
the Chancellor. The offer is now to me in my own particular.'

  Jeronimy opened his lips as if to speak, but there was a moment ere the words came: 'To you, my lord? Good: and upon like condition?'

  'Upon like condition.'

  'Of suzerainty?' said Jeronimy. ‘Well, and do you mean to take it? No, no,' he said, meeting the Chancellor's cold eye: ‘I meant not that. I meant, in what estate left you this business with him? did you in a manner temporize?'

  Beroald answered, ‘I did handle the thing in such a vein as that I must give him yea or nay to-morrow.'

  The Admiral pulled off his black velvet cap plumed with a white estridge-feather set in a diamond brooch, mopped his head, and put on his cap again.

  The Lord Beroald gazed steadily before him on Acrozayana, two or three miles away, mirrored in the glassy lake. His speech came cool and glassy, like the thing he looked on, remote and passionless as if it were his own thought speaking to itself. 'It is needful,' he said, 'in this business, that we hold heedy guard, and reckon well our strength. Now is ten days to-day that this Lessingham, treating with full powers on behalf of the Vicar, hath dealt with us touching the Meszrian regency; and if there be any alteration made in these ten days, 'tis to their advantage, not ours. First his offer unto you, my lord Admiral, that the Vicar would receive and acknowledge you as regent in Meszria conformably in all points to the King's testament, and upon condition (which he stiffly maintained to be in that same testament supposed and implicit) that you should do him homage as, pending the Queen's minority, your overlord. That condition you did, in agreement with the Duke, with Roder, and with myself, after mature deliberation of counsel, flatly refuse. The next day after your so refusing, he did offer the regency upon like condition to the Duke, who did refuse it. That was but yesterday. And now, this very morning, did send for me and propound to me the self-same offer; which I, forbearing all private closer conference, fobbed off until to-morrow. Thus standeth it, then. What follows? If I refuse,' (upon that 'if the Admiral pulled out his handkerchief and mopped his head), 'next move belike is overture of regency to Roder, and then, if he'll not take it, war. I like it not. The Duke I do trust but as you do, my lord: very discreetly. These Meszrian lords, not at all. The Vicar hath a fair solicitor, hath got the right ear of Zapheles, and Melates, too, or I am much mistook: young fools, that have not the wit to see in all the Vicar's promises but fair sunshining, sweetly spoken and but sourly to be performed. Prince Ercles in the north, too, is not so good to rest on, even if Barganax be safe: if the Vicar make war upon the Duke and us upon pretext of enforcing of the King's testament, you shall not see Ercles nor Aramond put their finger too far in the fire o' the Duke's behalf; Lessingham, I am told, hath made friends with 'em both of late.'