Trust

by Sherri Hayes

  I released the breath I’d been holding.

  That first week I’d moved in, Cal took off work. It was awkward, but knowing he’d been in the house had helped. Cal had installed a security system, as well as setting up what he called a panic button. There were several of them around the house, and he said if anyone tried to break in and hurt me, I could hit one of those buttons and it would send a signal directly to him and to the police. Even with all the added security, I tensed and waited for Cal or Jade to call out to me when they came home, letting me know it was them.

  Knowing Cal was here, and that Emma would be coming any minute, I knew I needed to force myself to get up from my bed. My legs didn’t want to cooperate. It felt as if I had metal rods in them as I moved. What seemed like several minutes had passed before I reached the door that separated my bedroom from the main house, and once I got there, I paused with my hand on the knob.

  You can do this. It’s just Cal.

  Turning the knob, I slowly opened the door. It made no sound, but as I stepped into the kitchen Cal must have seen movement out of the corner of his eye, because he turned around abruptly and knocked a bread roll he had lying on the counter to the floor.

  When he realized what he’d done, he sighed and bent down to pick it up. I plastered myself against the wall next to my door.

  He glanced in my direction as he tossed the dirty roll in the trash. “Is everything okay, Anna?”

  I nodded.

  Cal frowned but went back to making his sandwich. He used to try and approach me at times like this, but he didn’t anymore, especially when Jade wasn’t around. I didn’t mean to freak out on him, but too often he would get frustrated with me and raise his voice or move his body a certain way, and I’d hit an eight or a nine within seconds.

  The first time it happened, I’d screamed yellow at him as I’d backed myself up into the far corner of my bedroom. He’d looked at me as if I were speaking a foreign language. Luckily Jade was there and had understood. “I think it’s something Stephan taught her to say when things are getting to be too much. I think it means she needs space, Cal. You need to give her some space.” She’d been right, and he’d reluctantly backed off.

  After a similar thing happened two other times, Cal had taken to keeping his distance from me. He never came within three feet of me unless he asked first. If we were standing, it was more like five. I know the whole situation upset him, but I was grateful he was being such a good friend to me. He was letting me live here after all. I doubted I could ever repay him for everything he was doing.

  “Did you want a sandwich? I’ve got ham and turkey.”

  “No. Thank you.”

  He glanced in my direction once more and went back to what he was doing.

  “Emma called.”

  That got his attention, and he abandoned his sandwich to face me. “What did she say?”

  His voice was commanding, and I could see the muscles under his shirt flexing. My gaze fixated on his arms, his posture, and I swallowed, feeling my heart rate increase.

  “Anna. What did Emma say?”

  My gaze snapped to his, my eyes wide.

  He sighed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it like that. I’m just . . . I guess I’m anxious to hear what she had to say.”

  I closed my eyes and took in a slow, deep breath, trying to calm down. I spread my hands wide behind me, feeling the texture of the wall, allowing it to ground me just as Stephan had taught me. “She’s . . . coming over.”

  Cal didn’t speak for several long seconds. “When?”

  Before I could answer, we heard another car.

  “I guess that answers my question.” He abandoned his food and went to get the door. I stayed where I was.

  Muffled sounds from the front entry floated into the back of the house. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I could tell by Cal’s tone that he was questioning Emma. She’d said on the phone that she wanted to talk to us both together, so I doubted she would say anything to him without me in the room.

  Sure enough, less than a minute later, Cal came marching into the kitchen with Emma in tow. He didn’t look all that happy, but when he saw me, he made an effort to soften his features. I knew he was trying not to scare me, and he was probably as anxious to hear what Emma had to say as I was.

  “Hi, Anna.”

  “Hi.”

  “Can we get started?” Cal took a deep breath, causing his shoulders to rise and fall dramatically.

  “Of course.”

  Emma sat at the kitchen table with Cal. They both looked over at me, obviously wanting me to join them.

  I pushed myself away from the wall and walked slowly across the room. Once I was seated, Emma didn’t waste any time getting to the point of her visit. She looked to Cal first, then to me. “Did Cal tell you he came to see me, Anna?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good.” She seemed relieved. “I met with Stephan’s lawyer, as well as a criminal attorney from my firm. We’ve discussed the situation in detail and have concluded that the best thing for you to do, Anna, is nothing.”

  “What?”

  Emma’s focus turned to Cal, briefly acknowledging his outburst. “We still think it’s a good idea for you to publicly show support for Mr. Coleman, if you’re willing, but there should be no mention of what happened to Anna or his part in it.”

  “I don’t understand. Why not?”

  “Right now all the FBI has is a single transaction made to Ian Pierce by Mr. Coleman. They don’t have any evidence as to what it’s for, other than a small notation that is Anna’s name. And unless one of the parties involved speaks up, that’s all they have. We don’t want to give them reason to think there’s anything else there by coming forward and offering a deal. It wouldn’t look good.”

  “Wait a minute. Does that mean the monster that did this to her will get off free and clear?”

  “For what he did to Anna . . . yes, I’m afraid so.” Cal opened his mouth to interrupt, but Emma was faster. “Anna has indicated to me on numerous occasions that her first priority is protecting Stephan. This is the best way to do that.”

  Cal stood abruptly, causing his chair to crash to the floor, and I jumped, poised on the edge of my chair, ready to run.

  He didn’t notice, but Emma did. She frowned at his retreating back.

  No one said a word for several minutes, and the air around us seemed to be charged. I debated. I wanted to go, but I needed to stay and hear what Emma had to say about Stephan.

  When Emma finally spoke again, her voice was soft. “The FBI has plenty of other evidence against Mr. Pierce. I don’t think he’ll ever be getting out of prison. They found another body.”

  I went cold. It felt as if I’d suddenly been plunged into an ice bath.

  After that, I only heard bits and pieces of the conversation. They’d found a girl, about my age. Another one. I didn’t hear where or how they’d found her. My guess, given Emma’s tone, was that she’d been discovered much like the other girl—Juliet.

  Juliet. It could have been me. It would have been me if—

  Someone touched my arm, jarring me out of my thoughts.

  I didn’t acknowledge who had touched me, or why. The only thing I knew was that I needed to get away, to escape. I scrambled from my chair and ran full speed to my room. Looking around frantically, I tried to decide where to go. The corner? No, too exposed. The closet? No. There was no door on the closet here.

  Within seconds, I zeroed in on the bathroom and took off in that direction. Once inside, I climbed into the bathtub and curled into a ball behind the curtain.

  At some point, I heard someone moving around in my bedroom, but eventually they went away. Tears streamed down my face as I rocked back and forth, surrounded by the cold harshness of the bathtub. I wanted Stephan. I needed him so much.

  I pulled at his collar around my neck. The metal dug into my skin, causing more tears to form in my eyes. I didn’t care. It was the only part of h
im I had left, and I needed to feel something . . . anything of him.

  Slowly, the pain began to overtake the fear, and I eased my grip on the collar. As I did, a body-racking sob shook my entire body. Memories of Stephan . . . his touch . . . his lips . . . I wanted him to wrap his arms around me and tell me it was going to be okay.

  Harsh light filled the room, and I looked up, panicked. Who’d found me?

  The shower curtain was gently pushed aside. Jade glanced down at me, her eyes sad. “I sent Cal into town for some food.”

  I didn’t respond.

  Jade sat on the edge of the tub and looked down at her hands. She seemed nervous, and it increased my anxiety even more.

  “Cal told me what happened—what Emma told you.” Wiping her hands on her legs, she met my gaze. “Are you all right? I can’t imagine what you’re going through after hearing—” She paused and sighed.

  The sound of our breathing seemed to echo in the small space.

  “It would have been me,” I whispered.

  She nodded, not attempting to sugarcoat the situation.

  “I should be dead.”

  “But you’re not.” Jade reached out and touched my arm. I flinched, and she dropped her hand. “You’re not dead, Anna. You’re here. Alive. And you have your whole life in front of you.”

  I shook my head but didn’t comment.

  Jade stood. “Do you think maybe we could go out into the living room? The couch has to be a lot more comfortable than the bathtub.” I didn’t answer. “Cal will be gone for a while. I told him I wanted Greek, so he’s driving across town to get my favorite. Come on. It’ll just be us.” She extended her arm, offering me her hand.

  For several seconds, I stared. I didn’t want to move. All I wanted to do was stay hidden forever.

  Looking up, I debated my options. I could stay where I was. When Cal came home, however, he wouldn’t let me stay in here. I knew he wouldn’t. The last time something like this happened, he’d threatened to pick me up out of the tub and carry me back into my bedroom if I didn’t get out on my own. He’d meant it, too, so I’d pushed myself up from the cold, hard surface and ran to my bed where I’d hidden under the covers for the rest of the night. He hadn’t been happy with my new place of refuge, but he’d let me be. I didn’t want that to happen this time.

  Taking Jade’s hand, I stood. She helped me out of the bathtub before releasing me.

  Following her, I cautiously made my way back into the main part of the house and into the living room. Jade took a seat on the couch.

  I looked at the space next to her—even the opposite end of the couch—but it felt too exposed, so I chose the chair on the far side of the room. It was close to the wall and faced the door.

  Curling my legs under me, I turned toward Jade. She frowned slightly and then smoothed out her features. I’d disappointed her by not sitting next to her, but I wasn’t ready for that. Even now, the living room felt too big. I wanted to be back in my space. Alone.

  “Anna, I’m going to be honest with you. Cal’s worried, and so am I.” Jade paused and leaned her head back against the couch. She closed her eyes briefly before turning her head to the side and meeting my gaze. “Cal told me that Emma still thinks having him publicly support Stephan is a good idea. He’s willing to do it—for you—but . . . Anna, he still wants you to go talk to someone. And after today, I’m thinking that’s not a bad idea.”

  I started shaking my head. I didn’t want to talk to anyone.

  Before I knew it, Jade was kneeling down in front of me. “Hear me out, okay? Anna, you’ve closed yourself off so much since you’ve been here with us. When I first met you, you were scared, yes, but you were able to interact with us. Smile. Laugh. I know you miss Stephan, and I’m guessing you used to talk to him about things . . . what happened to you. You don’t have that now, and I think . . . I think you need someone to talk to.”

  “I can’t . . .” The words died in my throat.

  Jade reached out, took my hand, and squeezed. “I don’t like how Cal did it—making it a condition of him showing support for Stephan—but he doesn’t know what else to do. He sees you suffering, and he wants to help you in the only way he knows how.”

  Before I could stop them, tears were streaming down my face, blurring my vision.

  “I’ll go with you if you want, so you don’t have to go alone. I can talk to some of the professors . . . get a recommendation. Say you’ll at least try, Anna. Please?”

  The sound of the clock ticking on the mantel measured the seconds passing as Jade waited for my answer. “You-you’ll go?”

  “If you want me to, I will. Cal will, too, if that’s what you want. We just want you to get better, Anna.” She was pleading with me.

  “Cal will help Stephan?”

  She nodded and squeezed my hand once more.

  “Okay. I-I’ll talk . . . to someone.”

  Jade smiled and cautiously leaned in to give me a hug. “Thank you, Anna. I know this is hard, but we’ll make it through it. I promise.”

  I returned her hug with little enthusiasm, closing my eyes and allowing a mixture of dread and hope to seep into my body. Dread—because whoever this person was I was going to talk to would want me to relive my time with Ian. Hope—because maybe all this pain would be worth it and I could save Stephan . . . just as he had saved me.

  Chapter 6

  Brianna

  Cal pulled up in front of a small brown building. It had been two weeks since Jade had gotten me to agree to talk to someone. She’d spoken with the head of the university’s psychology department—she’d taken a psych class during her sophomore year as an elective thinking it would help her relate to her future clients better. They’d given her a handful of names, but only two were women.

  Jade had spent three hours with me as we searched the Internet for anything we could find on the two psychiatrists. They were both known for their work with trauma patients. The one we’d settled on, however, had written her dissertation on the effects of human trafficking on its victims.

  Her name was Candice Perkins. She was forty-six years old, according to her profile, married, with two children. The picture on her website showed a woman with a big smile and kind eyes. I only hoped that once I met her, I would like her.

  Opening the back door, Jade waited for me to step out onto the sidewalk. I did so reluctantly. Even though I’d agreed to this, I wanted to beg Cal to take me back to the house. The only thing keeping me from doing just that was the bargain Cal and I had made. I would meet with this woman, or someone like her, for at least the rest of the year, and in return, Cal would make a public showing of his support for Stephan.

  Jade felt four months of therapy was a lot to ask me to commit to considering we didn’t know how I would react. I understood. If I said I wasn’t scared, I’d be lying. What Jade didn’t understand, however, was that I doubted this woman could hurt me any more than Ian had. I’d survived that, and I’d survive this, too.

  Taking a deep breath, I edged closer to Jade. She took my hand and squeezed it.

  “I’ll meet you guys inside once I find a place to park.” Jade nodded to Cal, and he pulled away from the curb.

  “Come on. Let’s get inside. Maybe that will make you feel more comfortable.”

  I walked beside Jade into the building, but nothing would take away the nauseous feeling in my stomach.

  The lobby was generic, much like any other waiting area I’d seen when I was younger. It reminded me most of Dr. Chandler’s office. He’d been my mom’s oncologist, and she’d seen him every month. The only difference was that his office had a painting along one wall of a girl playing in a field of wild flowers. This office had paintings, but they were more abstract. I preferred the wildflowers.

  When the door behind me opened, I jerked away from Jade and backed up several steps before realizing it was Cal. He’d been trying to be better about not scaring me, but most of the time it wasn’t his fault. Cal was a big guy. He was
taller than Stephan. His arms were also twice the size of Stephan’s. I knew it was because of Cal’s job—it was a lot more physically demanding than Stephan’s—but fear was fear. One thing Stephan had taught me was that while I couldn’t control what I was afraid of, I could control how I reacted to it. I was trying to be better, but it was difficult when all my instincts told me to run in the opposite direction.

  Cal stopped several feet in front of me, his brow furrowed. “You ready, Anna?”

  “Yes.”

  He nodded and led us down a short hallway until we came to a door at the very end marked Dr. Candice Perkins in fancy lettering. Without pausing, Cal opened it and stepped inside.

  This room was different from the lobby we were in moments before. The walls here had color, and the furniture looked newer and more welcoming. It reminded me of a beach, for some reason.

  Jade led me over to a set of chairs in the corner, while Cal went to talk to the lady behind the desk. “Brianna Reeves here to see Dr. Perkins.”

  “Has she been here before?”

  “No. This is her first visit.”

  “Okay, then. I’m going to need her to fill out some paperwork.”

  She handed him a clipboard and a pen. He took it and walked back toward us.

  Instead of handing the paperwork to me, he thumbed through it himself. “Most of this is insurance stuff.” He seemed to be talking to himself and not expecting Jade or me to answer.

  Placing several sheets of papers off to the side, he handed the clipboard to me. I took the pen he offered and looked down at the forms. There were only two left after he’d sifted through them. One wanted general information—my name, age, address. The other asked about my medical history.

  I filled the papers out as best I could and then gave them back to Cal. He walked them back to the receptionist and returned to sit beside me. For some reason, the fact that Jade and Cal were flanking me allowed me to breathe easier. I knew, despite all the ways he made me nervous, Cal would protect me if anyone tried to hurt me.

  Less than five minutes later, a door to our left opened, and Dr. Candice Perkins appeared. She was shorter than I’d thought she would be, maybe five two, and her hair was lighter than what it had seemed in her picture. It almost had a reddish tint to it.