Unwrapping a Rogue: A Christmas Regency Boxset

by Samantha Holt

  He was too. The whole reason he’d kept his distance from her was to keep her safe. Now here they were and she was sick. Gavin had never felt so helpless in his entire life. If she died here and now, he’d never forgive himself. He’d drop to his knees and pray if he thought it would help. Anything that was required of him, he’d do it. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for Odessa.

  “I’ll be right outside,” he said. “I’m going to get a bit of snow and be back before you realize I’m gone.”

  “Promise,” she said.

  “Cross my heart,” he said and gestured his hand over his chest. “Now lay back and close your eyes. You really do need to rest.”

  “All right,” she agreed. “For a moment.”

  She laid back on the cot and her eyes fluttered shut. She curled onto her side holding the blanket against her. Gavin stared at her a moment to make sure she was content and then headed to the door. He yanked on his boots and grabbed the water pail by the door. He went outside and filled it to the brim with snow, shivering as he worked. His nearly naked skin didn’t appreciate the bitter cold, so he filled it fast and went back in the hunting lodge.

  Once inside, he set the bucket near the fire so the snow would melt. Then he went in search of some kind of cloth to use to wipe her face and neck. He managed to find an old piece of fabric in a chest and tore it into pieces, then went back to the bucket. Some of the snow had melted enough for him to dip a piece of material into it. He took it back to Odessa and placed it over her forehead. She sighed, but didn’t open her eyes.

  “That feels wonderful,” she said. “Don’t leave me.”

  “Never,” he promised. “At least for the moment. I’ll need to change the cloth strip in a little bit.”

  “But you’ll stay for now?”

  She sounded so hopeful. How could he deny her anything? “I’d never willingly leave you.”

  “I knew you loved me,” she mumbled. He jerked back in surprise at her statement.

  He did. He never dared to admit it. Gavin had been trying so hard to hide his feelings for her, sometimes even being a complete arse in her presence. But he couldn’t deny what he felt for her to himself. He might have trouble admitting it aloud to her. Deep down though—there was no hiding from his wayward emotions.

  Maybe he should let go of his fears and try to have a life with her. He couldn’t stop her from doing reckless things, and she was so determined to be with him. What would she do next to gain his attention? He either had to do something to make her hate him, or he had to accept that they belonged together. Whatever he decided he had to do it soon before he had no choice left. His family curse left him with few options. Either he stayed away from her or tried to make a life with her. Odessa’s life was at stake and he had to make the right decision. He wasn’t sure what that was anymore.

  “Sleep,” he said softly. “I’ll be here when you wake.”

  Not long after that, Odessa fell into a deep sleep. He stayed by her side as the fever worsened, and all through the night as the storm raged. Not once did he give up on her, and he damn near willed her to fight through the fever’s hold. He went outside several times to refill the snow bucket until at last her fever broke and she slept peacefully. Gavin sat on the floor beside the cot and rested his head next to her. Exhaustion and relief overtook him, so he finally allowed himself to sleep.

  GAVIN WOKE SEVERAL hours later to a cool breeze on his back. He lifted his head and stretched his arms high. Every muscle in his body ached and his neck had a painful kink on one side from how he’d been sleeping. He checked Odessa, and she still slept peacefully. He stood and went to check on the fire. Through the night, he’d kept vigilance on the fire and Odessa. In order to keep warm he needed to make sure the fire stayed ablaze.

  The logs had burned down to hot embers. During his nap the fire smoldered down more than he was comfortable with. It was past time to add another log to it. He picked up two and placed them over the scorched wood. He stayed there long enough to make sure the logs lit and then went back to Odessa. When he returned, her eyes fluttered open.

  “Thirsty,” she muttered, her voice hoarse from sleep.

  “Here,” he said, handing her a flask.

  She took a drink and then coughed hard. “What is in that?”

  “Whisky,” he replied and smiled. “Killian gave me a bit before I left today. I was going to enjoy it once I returned home.” The ale at the tavern wouldn’t have been enough to help him sleep, and even that he’d stopped drinking quicker than he normally would have. Whisky knocked him out once he had a swig or twenty. “It’ll help warm you.”

  “I’m not cold,” she said. “I’m no longer hot either. How long have I slept?”

  “Most of the night,” he explained. “It’s near dawn now.”

  He wasn’t sure how much he slept either. The last thing he remembered was checking her fever and being relieved to find her skin cool.

  “Has the storm passed?”

  “I’m not sure,” he answered. “I’ll check.”

  It would give him a little time away from her. He made sure the blanket was secure around him and then turned to leave. He breathed a little easier with some space between them. He was glad she was all right. Now, maybe he wouldn’t contemplate something as foolish as offering for her. If she married him, it was a sure death sentence. If she lived separate of him, she might go on to live a long life. When she married someone else, it would kill a part of him, but he’d endure it as long as she was healthy and happy. Two things she’d not find tied to him for the rest of her life.

  Gavin opened the door and glanced outside. The snow was still falling, and the wind seemed to whip even harder than it had before. Would the bloody storm ever end? He couldn’t stay in the cabin much longer with Odessa or he’d go insane. She was a temptation he had a difficulty resisting. Mainly because he didn’t truly want to. If she pressed him, he’d admit how he really felt. He was trapped with her and no escape in sight. His first thought was correct—he was doomed.

  He shut the door and returned to Odessa’s side. She was sitting up on the cot. Her chemise was too thin, and he could make out the curve of her breast in the candlelight. He swallowed hard and focused on something else. Slowly, he wrenched his gaze upward to her face. She was in the process of plaiting her hair. He wanted to tell her to stop. The long black waves were lovely, and he liked seeing them flowing down her back.

  He held back the thought for several reasons. The biggest being he had no right to demand anything of her, and the smallest being it was a practical move. When the storm ended, they’d have to head back to Kingsbridge. If Killian found them alone like this, he’d demand Gavin marry Odessa, and he wouldn’t blame his friend. If he had a sister, he’d kill any man who touched her without the benefit of marriage. Not that Gavin had, but oh, he wanted to.

  He cleared his throat. “The storm isn’t showing any signs of stopping. We might be here awhile.”

  “Good,” she said and smiled at him. “It’ll give us plenty of time to talk.”

  That was the last thing he wanted. Odessa would dig deep and cut through every one of his excuses. Then he would be forced to admit that he loved her and the reason why he couldn’t marry her. She wouldn’t believe him, and then he’d be forced to hurt her. He could already see how it would all play out. No matter how he looked at it, he was destined to cause her pain. She’d know it in a matter of time, and he hoped to put it off as long as possible. He didn’t want to see the light go out in her eyes when she realized he was a bad bet.

  “You should rest more,” he said. “Your fever might come back.”

  It was a weak excuse, but he was willing to push it if it worked. He didn’t want her to have a relapse, but he hated the idea of any lengthy conversation with her.

  “I’m fine,” she said. “I’ve always bounced back from illness.”

  “That’s good, but more rest won’t hurt either.”

  What the hell could he do
to distract her? If he didn’t think of something fast, they’d be talking about things he’d avoided for a long time. He was the epitome of dysfunctional, and he couldn’t do this anymore. Maybe it was time to let it all out once and for all. It was his fate, but it didn’t have to be hers.

  He was a coward. There was no other way to describe him and he wouldn’t make any apologies for it. Odessa’s safety was all that mattered to him.

  She sighed. “Gavin,” she said tersely. “Quit avoiding me.”

  “I’m not...”

  “Please,” she held up her hand interrupting him. “I’m not stupid. Don’t you think I deserve to know why?”

  Yes, she did. Damn it. “Once this is said, it can’t be taken back. Are you sure you want to hear it?”

  Please say no...

  “Yes,” she said. “I’ve waited long enough.”

  Gavin sighed and then nodded. He might as well get comfortable as this was going to take a while. Afterward, she wouldn’t look at him the same. That was the main reason he’d avoided this particular conversation as long as he had. She was his beautiful sunrise and the reason he kept waking up each day. Once that was taken away, what would he have to live for?

  Chapter Four

  Every second Gavin remained silent proved to be more torturous than Odessa could have imagined. His face was devoid of all emotion. What could be so bad that it terrified him? Their future was on the line, and she couldn’t shoot down all of his reasons against them being together if she didn’t know what they were.

  She sighed. After her illness, she wasn’t at her best, but she felt good considering. Generally, she bounced back quickly from any sickness that befell her. In that regard, she’d been lucky; however, her issues with Gavin were a trial on a good day. “Silence isn’t what you agreed to.”

  “Doesn’t make it any easier.”

  She held in the breath she’d been holding. At least he wasn’t ignoring her. For a moment, there she thought he might have changed his mind. That was still a possibility, but she remained hopeful he’d stop pushing her away. She loved him too much to give up on him. “Good, you do have a voice,” she teased. “Now maybe we can have a real discussion.”

  “It’s not that easy,” he said and glowered. “I don’t know where to begin.”

  “I wish I could help you,” she said calmly. “It’s your story to tell. Why don’t you start on the part that’s easiest for you?”

  He laughed and shook his head. “If it was that simple...”

  Gavin leaned his head back against the wall and stared up at the ceiling. Her heart beat heavily in her chest. She’d made light of this, but perhaps she shouldn’t have. To him, this was grave, and perhaps it was time she took it seriously as well. Odessa didn’t know what was bothering him or why he failed to admit he loved her. She could do one thing for him though. Simplify it as much as possible and make it so he could tell her the things weighing him down.

  “Why don’t we play a game,” she offered. “You weren’t interested last night, but I think we both could benefit from a distraction. It will take your mind off of things, and when you’re ready, you can tell me what’s so important.”

  “A game?” he said, his voice filled with bewilderment. “Look around you. There are no games to be found.”

  He did have a valid point. They didn’t stock spillikins or lawn bowls in a hunting lodge. “What about a deck of cards?”

  “I doubt it,” he said. “One doesn’t come to a hunting lodge to play cards.”

  She wasn’t well versed on the etiquette involved in visiting a hunting lodge, though she supposed the name did give a hint to the building’s purpose. “Who uses this place anyway?”

  “The gamekeeper mostly,” he said. “I’ve been told my father used it too when he was alive.”

  His voice hitched a little bit when he said the last part. Odessa didn’t know much about his parents. Come to think of it, he never mentioned them. She couldn’t help wondering why that was. Maybe at another time she’d ask about them—after she distracted him with some form of amusement.

  “Charades then,” she suggested. “We don’t need any supplies to play it.”

  Gavin snorted. “You’re not serious.”

  She scrunched up her nose. Charades was her least favorite game. She hated the idea of making a fool of herself for other’s entertainment. For Gavin though, she’d do almost anything. If it would bring a smile to his face, she’d hop around the room on one foot and make animal noises. “I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s just the two of us. Surely, we can play a harmless game of charades without expiring on the spot.”

  He shook his head. “No,” he said firmly. “I’m not playing charades. Anything, please, but that.”

  “I don’t have any other suggestions,” she said pointedly. “You have shot down everything I’ve thought of. I’m open to whatever you might have in mind.” At least his skin was no longer pale, and he had a little amusement in his voice. That was a good start in her opinion.

  Now that he’d started to relax, perhaps he’d find it easier to tell her his secrets. He’d been rather reserved for a long time, and she didn’t understand why. Killian may have an idea what was going on in Gavin’s life, but he was too good a friend to gossip with his little sister about it. Many times, she’d been tempted to interrogate him for information and decided against doing so. It would be futile to try to make her big brother divulge information about his best friend. No, she’d have to get it straight from the source.

  Gavin held something back, and whatever it was it terrified him. Odessa wanted him to share his confidences with her willingly. She was dying to know what secrets he kept, but she could remain patient a little while longer. Gavin’s well-being was far more important than her curiosity. In the end, they would find a way to be together. For that outcome, she’d withstand a good number of things.

  “I suppose I can at least look to see if there are some cards here.” Gavin stood and moved to leave her side. He stopped and glanced at her over his shoulder. “No guarantees,” he warned.

  “I won’t hold it against you if you come back empty handed,” she said. “But be prepared to offer a solution to our dilemma if you don’t find any.”

  He chuckled. “You might not like what I come up with.”

  Odessa held back a smile. It warmed her inside out to see him so carefree. If only she could always keep him that way. She made a vow then and there to make that one of her goals in life. To make him as happy as possible so no darkness found a way of sneaking into his mind. This was the Gavin she’d fallen in love with. He was hers, damn it, and she’d do whatever she must to keep him.

  “I doubt it,” she said and finally allowed herself to smile. “I’m willing to try anything as long as it’s with you.”

  “Be careful what you agree to,” he cautioned. He had an odd expression on his face. His mouth was pulled into a tight line, but his eyes almost gleamed in anticipation. The candlelight cast a hazy glow around the room, and it reflected back in his gaze. The muscles in his jaw twitched, and he swallowed before he spoke. “It might be more than you bargained for.” His voice was husky and warm, flaring through her like the whiskey he’d offered her. The burn exhilarated her and left her breathless for more. Her heart beat heavily in her chest and she couldn’t find words to reply to his bold statement. A good thing too—because he didn’t give her the opportunity to say anything.

  With those words lingering between them, he left her to search for the deck of cards. She hoped he wouldn’t be gone too long. She already missed him. Whenever Gavin was away from her, it felt as if a part of her had disappeared entirely. It was lonely, and Odessa hated it. At least the distance between them currently was small. He’d return, and if they were lucky there were cards, and then over a nice game of Whist she could woo his secrets out of him.

  Gavin didn’t realize it yet, but he was fortunate she could be patient. Odessa didn’t give in easily, something Gavin should
already be aware of. After all, he was not only Killian’s best friend, but their closest neighbor. He’d been a part of her life for as long as she could recall. No one, outside of her family, comprehended her willful nature more than Gavin. He should have concluded ages ago that there was no escaping their fate. When they left the lodge, they’d be on their way to a happily-ever-after.

  DEVIL TAKE HIM... GAVIN wasn’t sure why Odessa was giving him a reprieve, but he’d take it. He didn’t want to visit his own personal hell any time soon. He doubted there was a deck of cards to be found in the lodge, but it gave him a good excuse to escape for a little while. She wouldn’t let him off the hook for long. When he wasn’t paying attention, she’d circle back to the problem at hand—his failure to propose to her. Odessa wasn’t a fool by any means.

  She had a plan of some sort inside that head of hers. He should be afraid. No doubt the scheme involved them saying vows in front of a man of the clergy. He had to prevent that outcome if he could, but a part of him didn’t want to. That side wanted to pretend there was no darkness in the world. Sadly, Gavin had personal experience with malevolence, and hoped Odessa never became intimate with anything truly abhorrent.

  He opened up a cupboard and nothing but dust met him. A sneeze escaped before he could stop it from exploding out of him. He wiped his nose, trying to stop the itch. When was the last time the gamekeeper visited this lodge? He’d have to ask him when he went back to Havenwood. Gavin moved on to the next cupboard and found a weathered deck of cards and another candlestick. It would come in handy when the other tapers melted down. He grabbed both and headed back to Odessa.

  “Guess what I managed to find,” he said as he waved the deck of cards. “They’re not in the best condition, but I think we can make them work. What would you like to play?”

  “I was going to suggest Whist, but then I realized that wouldn’t work.”

  “Ah,” he said. “Indeed, we lack the proper number of players. We require an activity for only two people.” He snapped his fingers. “I know, let’s play Speculation.”