The GOD Box

by Melissa Horan

  After about fifteen minutes of these thoughts, Jonathan decided that if he didn’t wake Dane up, Dane might have died like that and been all too blissfully happy about it in his dreams. With a flick on the back of the shoulder, Dane jolted awake. Pissing someone off so early in the morning meant that so far it was a successful day.

  ___

  Dane glared venomously and put his head back down, muttering angrily under his breath. When he brought his head up again, he drew his hands to May’s arms and squeezed them gently. He saw Jonathan rummaging for something and with tired eyes got up to go help.

  “Whatcha lookin for?” He rumbled groggily. Rubbing crustiness from his eyes he thumped over to the chest Jonathan was in. The room was empty except for Janine who was cleaning after the breakfast everyone ate before chores. Dane acknowledged her briefly then turned back to Jonathan for an explanation. By so doing, he was next commanded to draw a map and tell Jonathan where Gabe’s stuff is because he needed a weapon that Gabe had.

  Dane knew better than to argue, so he begrudgingly submitted and found paper to start drawing. Dane drew the map, but left out everything else on it. Jonathan had just enough information to get to the cave. One eye stayed on Jonathan, loathing everything about him, and anxiously awaiting his finding the “gun”.

  Whatever that was, Dane did not want him to have it.

  What were they in such a hurry for anyway? Dane wondered.

  As Dane predicted, he left in the morning without the slightest conscious recognition from May. But, he left her a note and a small ‘gift’, which she found when she awoke.

  ***

  Wrapped in a small cloth next to his note was the metal instrument they found in Gabe’s basket. May pulled out the note from underneath, rubbed her tired eyes and read:

  May, this is called a gun, it is a weapon. I had to pry it from Jonathan’s hands and convince him we wouldn’t need it, but I feel better if you have it just in case (for my sake and yours). We ‘fired’ it this morning (I’m surprised you didn’t wake up) so that I knew what it did. Preferably you never have to use it because it will seriously injure whoever the bullet hits. And this technology is too advanced for them… us… We have the egg thing and syringes.

  Dane (and Jonathan)

  May put it down drearily, not awake enough to read anything more than the words on the page, or make acceptable cognitive judgments. She lifted herself slightly from the table to see out the window Whether the attempted bicycles were still there. Yup. They wouldn’t be back for a week, likely, while they were on foot. She plopped back onto the table and put her head down. This grogginess was unbearable. No wonder in Jonathan’s time people made medication to help you sleep. Once or twice she had been tempted to take one of the pills. Only the thought that Jonathan would be ‘hell’ to deal with if he ran out too soon kept her from taking them for herself.

  She was anxious already to know everything they would talk about, and if Dane would encourage Jonathan’s acceptance of being here. There was a slight curiosity if Jonathan would instead influence Dane in another direction. Thirsting for knowledge was Dane’s best attribute. Would that knowledge peak Dane’s interest, or desires for betterment, or would he take it in with disgust? She knew Dane well, and trusted him, so it wasn’t anticipated that anything he learned would be to their detriment.

  Chapter 17

  Jonathan shot a glare of distain to Dane as if this was a forced journey with someone he hated… oh wait… They supposedly foresaw some change in him with this unexpected walk-about. As if they could procure in him a more righteous coming of age story. Fortunately for their cause, Jonathan didn’t loathe Dane, quite as much as he loathed May. Dane had at least accepted the reality of his emotional disease and was willing to come down to the depths of darkness to show he understood how Jonathan felt. May resented weakness in a way that suggested she assumed she should be without it. Unknown to Jonathan, a few more details needed taking care of, like catching chickens for food. Leave it to Dane to take care of all the trivial things.

  “You’re so impatient!” Dane said with more energy than he felt like he had.

  Whatever. Jonathan thought.

  Dane continued, “Have you ever had to wait for anything in your life?”

  As a matter of fact, no, he hadn’t.

  ___

  Dane sleepily stood near all the chickens in back. Jonathan was impatient and doubtful. When catching a chicken, May approached it gently with food in hand, and she seemed to know the cooperative ones. Dane had no finesse in this process. One stupid chicken turned it’s back on Dane, which is when he stepped forward and clamped it around the belly with his hands. Shoving it in the small cage he got what he deserved, a sharp nip on the hand. “Ah!” He started bleeding. Stupid animal, he thought, threatening it grumpily with a shake of the cage. Depression was manifesting itself now in grogginess, grumpiness, and inattentiveness to Jonathan. He was dreading this whole trip.

  Acting oblivious that Jonathan was a person worth acknowledging, Dane shoved the cage at him, and grabbed another empty one to be shortly filled with squawking feathers. The bite this time made him bleed.

  Dane was just about to go get some veggies from the garden when Janine came out to say goodbye. She gave them both a small kiss on the cheek with great self-coercion toward Jonathan, told them to be safe and then went back inside. Thomas ran out from the fields where they were working and gave Dane a hug, then stared at Jonathan as if to say, ‘Don’t you wish you could get a hug, too?.’ Then, Thomas gave him a bored high five, hardly catching his eye, looking back to Dane who said,

  “So, I think you’ll be fine. I’m not worried about people in the town. Keep May happy, yeah?”

  “No problem,” Thomas replied with a big cocky smile, “I’ve got lots of friends in town that I’ll introduce her too. They’ll keep her really happy.”

  The chicken in its cage fell to the ground as Dane growled and put Thomas in a headlock. Thomas was still laughing. “What was that?” Dane demanded. Now Dane was smiling and Thomas was making choking sounds, “I said that I’ll just talk about how awesome you are hours on end, and when you come back, she won’t be able to resist you!” Thomas rolled over and flipped Dane to the ground face up. Taking Thomas’ offered hand, Dane stood up, putting a firm and threatening grip on Thomas’ shoulder.

  “Don’t think for a second I wouldn’t kill you. Or at least tell all the women you ever meet what a horrible lazy slug you are.”

  Thomas laughed and said, “Try all you want… they’d still be lining up at the door. Can’t get good looks like this anywhere else.”

  “Ugh, you’re probably right.”

  Dane remembered one more thing that needed to be done, and seemed to forget that he and Thomas were in the middle of a conversation. Casually he asked Jonathan if he found what he needed inside. Jonathan said he did. Dane then, with surprising firmness, demanded,

  “Show it to me, or we don’t go anywhere.”

  “Brazen devil, couldn’t leave well enough alone.” Jonathan cursed.

  He took it out and showed it to Dane, who picked it up from Jonathan’s open palm. Jonathan explained it was a weapon and that he was bringing it for safety reasons. Dane demanded he show him what it does. Jonathan reclaimed the thing, flipped something with one hand and pulled the ‘trigger’. Dane slammed his hands over his ears.

  “How ‘bout a warning next time?! And there is no way we are taking that with us.” He said with disbelief, but finality. They walked to the tree that Jonathan hit to see the deep hole it made.

  “Ooo, can I have it?” Thomas asked.

  Dane demanded again that Jonathan give it to him. Jonathan refused, ‘cocking’ the gun again, and pointing it in Dane’s direction. Jonathan wasn’t going to shoot him. For now, they were working together; his only “friends” in a couple hundred years. He rethought the situation, swore, released the gun and handed the gun over to Dane.

  ___

  They were g
oing to take everything from him. Jonathan could see where this pattern was going.

  Jonathan watched as Dane wrote a note and then wrapped the gun gently, placing it in front of May, telling no one else to touch it. Then, they left.

  Their journey was going to totally bypass Dane’s hometown. Directly south of May’s city was another city, named Tertin. That’s where they were headed first. Hopefully they didn’t have anyone from that city who was mad at them. Dane informed him it would be several hours of walking the first day, but put them in a more direct path. His own city lead them too far out of the way.

  From Tertin they could make their usual campsite in about half of a day, eat there and proceed to the cave when it was most beneficial.

  To get to the road which led to the city to the south, they had to go through the town. Gossip had spread, so Dane was responding to questions kindly, while Jonathan was responding to accusatory stares with very juvenile, mirrored expressions.

  Darian came up and asked them where they were going. Maybe they’d send someone to follow them, or take advantage of their absence here. Dane had full confidence that May could deal with them. He answered honestly that they were going to Tertin to see a friend for a few days. Dane excused himself after that because they wanted to get there for dinner.

  When they were outside of the city, Jonathan realized how frighteningly quiet it was. There was no electronic humming that naturally invaded every building and street in New Jersey. And, his own head was finally not buzzing. He only remembered death being this quiet. Even in death, you could hear your heart pound.

  Jonathan was trying to talk peace into himself: It was almost over. Sometimes they looked in their water in fear. They would never fully trust him; nor could they. That was the problem with Hyde. Come to think of it, that was also the problem of Jekyll. And, now, he wasn’t sure which he was. At least he’d soon be at the lab, where things made sense, where there was order; where there was a formula that worked every time.

  Jonathan looked at Dane waiting for him to say something. For hours Dane was silent. There had to be something he was conjuring up that he suspected would compromise Jonathan’s position. But, nothing really compromised the position of someone in charge of life. Besides, he had a pretty decent bargaining chip. Dane would probably pee himself with excitement to see what it was. Again, he looked at Dane, hoping something would come out of his mouth to drowned out this silent misery.

  It repulsed him the way that Dane looked so sickly. Jonathan complained silently, thinking: try chronic depression, anxiety, paranoia, insomnia, bi-polar, desperation, addiction, and loneliness all at once. Dane couldn’t have borne that burden. He couldn’t imagine it. Thus, he couldn’t imagine the very non-magical element of healing that had to exist. He was lucky that he didn’t have more problems. Thanks to Gabe’s research, they found the few people who existed on the earth with minimal family history of those things. If only for that reason, he is more free than he can imagine.

  ___

  Dane was thinking, but was unable to focus on one thing at a time. Most everything came as emotions, too. He stayed silent in attempt to maintain any type of conscious analysis at all. He felt heavy. Stress kept him from sleeping well last night. He just kept his head down and his fingers in May’s hair, massaging her scalp as she slept. She muttered a lot in her sleep; nothing coherent but enough to keep him awake. His eyes were probably bloodshot and the circles underneath them a deep, dark, purple. All he could think about was sleep.

  Finally, after a few hours, he looked up from the ground and looked at Jonathan. He cleared his throat, picked an easy topic and said,

  “So tell me how this marriage thing works.”

  “Are you kidding?” Jonathan replied in dull incredulity. “What the hell? That’s what you ask about?”

  Dane just looked at him irritably. Not playing that game. Preparing for a rant.

  “Thousands of years of knowledge at your potential disposal, and you ask about marriage. What the hell is wrong with you? Screw it, you might as well be Gabe. If marriage had anything to do with survival, I think we bloody well would have done more about it. We could have probably made a pill to help people be loyal if it mattered. Do you have any idea how small your perspective is?”

  Enlighten me. Dane thought sarcastically. I dare you to try. So tempted to zone out, yet hoping somewhere in the rant there would be something useful, he allowed himself to concentrate on the mind numbing syllables escaping Jonathan’s mouth. Dane was trying not to feel this way, he was trying so hard. Instead, he just felt like giving up and sitting there to die.

  “… might as well put yourself in prison even though you have the key to get out. They thought that a lack of good families was destroying people and making it harder to learn, but instead it’s a combination of genes and socioeconomic status. Any human contact will do. Even if marriage worked…”

  Somewhere in the middle of the rant, it turned into actually talking, however cynically, about what the thing was and how it worked. Dane thought the whole thing was bizarre. A person with ‘authority’ stands and says that two people are going to be loyal to each other until death. Dresses and suits were worn… whatever those were.

  Jonathan said if they got paper he would draw them for him. But they had nothing to do with the actual promise. Dane tried to relate it to traditions in their society. Still didn’t make a lot of sense. So they just have to get a justice of the peace to say it? That was stupid. Might as well just have Jonathan say it for all the good that would do. No position should give more authority that a man can declare loyalty while another cannot. Idiocy.

  When he explained the honeymoon, Dane became more interested.

  “So you consummate it with physical intimacy? Sex used to be a symbol of loyalty? Wow…”

  “Mmm… sort of. It doesn’t matter anymore. Gabe would preach that relationships mattered, though he lived nothing in the way of it. So how were we convinced? We weren’t. Once everyone chooses to live a certain way it’s too hard to bring them all back, especially regarding human emotion. No point.”

  “It’s all kind of a progressive idea, though, don’t you think?” Dane asked. Jonathan burst out with one big cynical ha! in reply. Dane continued, “But you don’t agree about needing satisfying relationships?”

  “Yes and no. They’re nice to have, but not necessary.”

  “You were married before though weren’t you? I remember you saying that.”

  “Yup, and I’m still surviving.”

  “So I guess survival of the fittest also evolved to survival of the emotionless. Got it.” Dane retorted.

  Both of them irritated again, they pressed on in silence once more. They were on a wide dirt road which was not frequented. A few people in the towns had the bug to travel, but most were just too lazy, so they only passed two or three people that morning. Loose dust flew up with their steps. An hour later, Dane’s curiosity got the best of him.

  “How did Gabe not live it?”

  “Prostitutes.”

  Dane rolled his eyes, of course that was it. Oh, right, that’s why he left with Miek that night. Poor Miek, really; he had the hardest time with that. Though he would never open up to Dane, Miek often found comfort with May and divulged his darkest feelings. Without a permanent residency, it was hard to replace the habit with something more fulfilling. Some nights he tried not to go, but always ended up going one way or another. Dane felt a hole in the pit of his stomach thinking about it. At some point Dane came to realize that that was the difference. Gabe didn’t feel remorse. Or he did and never did anything about it. Maybe it was that more than anything that irritated him about these two men.

  ___

  Then there was silence again for hours. No birds, and no crickets were even out and about… obviously.

  Jonathan had heard their many comments about his emotional changes. Likely, they weren’t convinced too thoroughly with his temperament. They hoped his desires had changed, but they
hadn’t. Truthfully, Jonathan felt like his figurative heart had nothing to do with the changes they saw in him, or his ability to converse. He didn’t feel any more inclined to them than before, but he tolerated them. He was okay talking to them. Some might call that affection, but he simply called it capability. Jonathan felt like he could express himself to them, which made him more satisfied, but not more endeared to them. But Gabe’s last question to May had completely intrigued him, so putting on his interviewer face he actually tried, unhappily, to force the conversation.

  “Are you happy?”

  “Usually. But at the moment, no.” He said dryly, not feeling like talking just to entertain Jonathan.

  “Are you free?” Jonathan fully expected that answer to be the same. It frequently was, and more particularly this time because he was under the burden of depression. But Dane surprised him.

  “Yes, sort of. Freedom to me represents the level at which I am able to overcome my burden. Or… the satisfaction I am able to feel from my choices. Right now it doesn’t feel like much in my emotional capacity, but in other things, sure. I think our freedom exists in multiple facets of our lives. Like each section is moving at its own rate, but it functions with support from all of the others. Sorry, I don’t think that makes sense.”

  Jonathan logged that away for some future reference.

  The conversation was in a lull again. Dane and May have hour long conversations. There had to be another topic that Dane enjoyed besides philosophy, which would occupy them for longer than two minutes. Jonathan hated silence so much that he would start friendly conversation to avoid it.

  Though he had sworn to never do this, Jonathan pulled out his phone device. It was just Dane to see it, that wouldn’t matter. He started playing Tetris, one of the few games on the little ancient piece of technology. Proudly, Jonathan had mastered walking at the same speed while staring at a little black box, using his peripherals so that he only bumped into Dane twice. Dane never even commented about it. He was that far lost in his own world.