“She doesn’t come across to me as spoiled.”
“Thanks. I do work at keeping her that way.” Sighing, she forced her hands away from his and held them out to the fire to compensate for the loss. “You see, right after Hannah was born Dad created a trust fund for her. She won’t be able to touch the money until she starts college, so before that happens I want her to learn to be responsible and not confuse her wants with her needs.”
He nodded. “That’s understandable. Most of us tend to do that on occasion. Except for my grandmother. She’s always content to have only the essentials. However, most young people nowadays have different ideas about money. And everything else.”
Vivian groaned. “Everything is the key word there.”
His questioning gaze slipped over her face and she wondered what he was really thinking about her now after he’d seen her at home, with family.
“It would be helpful if Hannah’s father was close by to help you with her upbringing. Does he see her very often?”
Surprised by his question, she asked, “Have you forgotten? I told you I’ve not seen Garth in eleven years.”
Frowning, he shook his head. “I remember. But that’s between you and your ex. Surely Hannah sees her father on a regular basis.”
Vivian couldn’t stop the short, cynical laugh that burst past her lips. “Other than showing her a handful of photos and telling her what we can about the man, Hannah doesn’t know her father. We divorced shortly after she was born. And once he hightailed it from the ranch, we’ve never heard from him again.”
Amazed, Sawyer stared at her. “You mean he just left the area and never contacted you again? I don’t understand. What about his baby? His daughter?”
Her features suddenly changed to a stark, unfeeling mask. “Garth held no feelings whatsoever for Hannah. In fact, when I told him I was divorcing him, he was relieved that I wasn’t going to make demands on him to be a father.”
“Meaning you didn’t ask for child support?”
“I didn’t want to go through the constant fight of trying to collect. At that time, Garth was between jobs. He had no income of his own. You see, he married me thinking the Hollister wealth would take care of him for the rest of his life. When he discovered he’d have to work to support himself and his wife, our marriage went on a fast, downhill slide.”
Since Sawyer had met Vivian, he’d often wondered what had occurred to end her marriage. Now that she was actually telling him, it was difficult to believe that a man could walk away from her and the child they’d created together. But there were plenty of fools in the world and it appeared as though she’d been married to one.
He must have been quietly digesting her information far longer than he’d thought, because she said, “Now you’re thinking I’m an idiot for marrying the jerk in the first place. And I’ll admit it, I must have been an idiot. I was too blind to see what he was all about. It wasn’t until after we were married I began to see who and what Garth really was.”
“How did you meet him? Was he from this area?”
Sighing, she shook her head. “No. I met him through a mutual friend, while I was in college down at Phoenix. At that time Garth did have an office job selling supplies to area mining companies. He’d often bragged that he’d soon be moving to an executive position and I believed him. He seemed full of ambition and talked continually about wanting to become a family man and filling a house with kids.”
“Obviously something happened to change all that.”
“Obviously,” she repeated with plenty of sarcasm. “Once we were married he quickly lost all interest in his job, and eventually me. Pretty soon he was coming up with all kinds of excuses for missing work. For making endless trips to Phoenix instead of spending time with his wife. Stupidly, I thought having a baby would turn him around and bring us together. It only made things worse and proved to me and my family that Garth was incapable of being a responsible man.”
“I’m sorry, Viv.”
“Don’t be. I did get one child from the man,” she said with wry acceptance. “As for the house, he’d always asked, why make an effort to find us a house, when we have everything we need right here. Bah! He hated living here on the ranch, secluded from the lights of the city and all his friends.”
The sadness and shame the man must have put Vivian through was impossible for Sawyer to imagine. But he did know one thing, if he ever happened to accidentally run into the jerk, he’d knock him out cold.
“Do you think he ever loved you?”
She looked at him and even in the semidarkness, he could see her lips were quivering as she tried to smile. The image caused a pain to squeeze the middle of his chest.
“No. It was all a farce. But that fact quit bothering me years ago. What breaks my heart is that because of my foolish judgment, Hannah has been deprived of a real father. She isn’t dumb or totally naive, Sawyer. She figured out a long time ago that he cared nothing for her.”
And Sawyer had always considered his mother to be a bad parent, he thought sickly. At least she’d hung around and made an attempt to be a parent until her son was eight years old. That was more than Hannah had ever gotten from her father.
“A rejection like that is something you don’t forget, Viv.”
“I guess you would know all about that.”
Sighing, she slipped from the rock ledge and turned to face the fire. As Sawyer watched her stretch her hands toward the warmth of the flames, he realized he never wanted her to be hurt again. Not by him or any man.
Then you’d better back away, Sawyer. Let her find someone who will really love her and give her the home and family she deserves. You can’t do that.
The voice going off in his head left a hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach. How could he back away from Vivian now? She was beginning to loosen up and see him as more than a coworker. Even more than a flirt. Wasn’t that what he wanted more than anything?
Trying to shove the worrisome questions aside, he said, “After hearing this about your ex I’m even more surprised that Hannah seems to like me. If I were in her shoes, I probably wouldn’t want my mother to see any man. No matter if he was well-meaning.”
Her doubtful gaze lifted to meet his. “You make it sound like Hannah views the two of us as...more than friends?”
Just looking at her plush lips caused desire to stir deep within him. “We are more than friends. Aren’t we?”
“How can we be? Our work—”
“We’re not at work. We’re alone. In the dark. By a warm...cozy...fire.”
As the last word passed his lips, he reached for her and pulled her toward him until she was standing between his parted legs, her face only inches from his.
“Sawyer, I—”
Her hands flattened against his chest as though she intended to push him away, but after a brief pause, they slid upward to wrap tightly over his shoulders.
“I’m not sure about this. About me. Or you. Or anything.”
His hands slipped around her waist and subtly urged her closer. “What’s there to be sure about? I want to kiss you. And I believe you want to kiss me just as much.”
“Just because I want to doesn’t make it...a wise thing to do.”
He traced a fingertip over her cheek and down to the tiny cleft in her chin. “Kissing isn’t about being wise, Viv. It’s supposed to be enjoyable.”
The corners of her lips curved impishly upward. “You’re so naughty,” she murmured.
“And you’re so prim. Mix the two and we’ll come out just right.”
She groaned with misgivings and then Sawyer felt a thrill of triumph as she closed the distance between their faces and placed her lips on his.
The taste of her amazed him. Like the sweetness of ripe fruit, it called to the hunger deep inside him. And the more he drank from her lips, the more he wanted.
/>
Behind them, the blazing mesquite popped and crackled, while inside Sawyer’s head everything was melting into delicious oblivion. He wanted her and she wanted him. Beyond that point, he wasn’t going to let anything stand between them.
When her mouth opened to invite his tongue inside, he obliged by thrusting it between her teeth and running the tip against the ribbed roof. The loud rush of blood in his ears very nearly drowned out her needy groan, but he heard it and the sound pushed him further into a pool of desire.
At some point she moved closer and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. The front of her body was crushed against his and through the fabric of her sweater, he could feel her soft breasts molding to his chest and the rapid thump of her heart was knocking at his, as though to tell him she was kissing him with far more than her lips.
Was this how it felt like for a man to yearn for only one woman? To want her fiercely, recklessly, with little thought for tomorrow? If so, then he’d already lost his freedom.
The warning bells clanging in the back of his head couldn’t compete with the pleasure of her kiss and he continued to search her lips, to hold her soft, warm body next to his. The notion of ending the embrace never entered his thoughts until the door of the house opened and Hannah’s voice called out.
“Mom!”
Like a sudden explosion, the sound ripped them apart. Vivian whirled away from him and stepped toward the sound of Hannah’s voice. Sawyer was too stunned to do much more than swipe a hand through his hair and try to catch his breath.
“We’re here by the fire,” Vivian answered.
Continuing to stand in the doorway, Hannah relayed her message. “Reeva’s made hot chocolate and we’re going to roast marshmallows.”
“Okay, honey. We’ll be right there,” Vivian told her.
After Hannah stepped back into the house and closed the door behind her, Vivian returned to where Sawyer was still seated by the fire.
With a rueful slant to her lips, she said, “Family calls. Are you ready for another round?”
He was ready, all right. To have her back in his arms. But to his chagrin, that was going to have to wait for a better time and place. He had no idea where that might be, or whether she’d be willing to give him a second round of kisses. But somehow he’d make it happen.
Rising to his feet, he reached for her hand. She squeezed his fingers and a ridiculous thrill rushed through him. Being here with Vivian tonight was changing him. And he wasn’t quite sure if the changes were making him a better man or a gullible fool.
“Sure, I’m ready. Uh—unless I have your lipstick on my mouth.”
She looked at him. “You don’t have a thing on your mouth, except a grin.”
And her family, particularly her brothers, might get the wrong idea, he thought. “Should I wipe it off?”
“No. I like your mouth just like it is.”
They stepped back into the den with the grin still on his face.
Chapter Ten
The next evening, as the sun rapidly sank behind the desert hills, Vivian stood to one side of the large crowd that had gathered to enjoy the Christmas caroling service. So far the event had gone off without a hitch and everyone seemed to be in high, holiday spirits.
She was singing along to a traditional hymn, while keeping an eye out for any kind of misbehavior in the crowd, when Sawyer walked up and stood just to her left. Since the service had started, she’d hardly gotten to say more than two words to him, but they’d crossed paths earlier and the faint smile he’d given her had settled in her heart like a sweet kiss.
“Mort should be happy with tonight’s outcome,” Sawyer said. “Everyone seems to be having a great time.”
“Not me!” Zane announced as he walked up on the opposite side of Sawyer. “When are those singers going to start rockin’? I want to hear something like ‘Santa, Baby.’”
“What they need to sing for you is ‘I’m Gettin’ Nuttin’ for Christmas,’” Sawyer teased his friend.
Vivian laughed and sang, “’Cause he ain’t been nuttin’ but bad.”
“Aww, come on, you two. I’m the kindest, sweetest ranger at this park.”
Sawyer shot him a look of disbelief and Zane laughed.
“Okay,” he relented. “Vivian probably gets the sweetest vote. But I’m good and kind.”
“Well, maybe Santa will surprise us all and make a stop at your house. I wouldn’t hold my breath, though,” Sawyer advised him.
“Sheesh, and here I was thinking I was getting a new sports car.” He slanted Sawyer a sly look. “But I guess last night at the Fandango crossed that off Santa’s list for me. By the way, Sawyer, I didn’t see you there. You must have been doing your dancing somewhere else.”
As best as Vivian could remember, the Fandango was a rowdy dancehall/saloon on the far outskirts of Wickenburg. Her brother Joseph and his fellow deputies were often called to the premises for brawls, along with other types of drunken, unruly behavior.
“I haven’t been to the Fandango in ages,” Sawyer told him, then exchanged a private glance with Vivian. “And last night I was—doing something else.”
Whether Zane picked up on the connection between her and Sawyer, she couldn’t say. At least he was Sawyer’s friend and Vivian could only hope he wasn’t the type of man to spread rumors.
Oh, Lord, how was this all going to end? Last night with Sawyer had been one of the happiest she’d had in more years than she could remember. Having him by her side to share in the Christmas festivities had made everything special. And when he’d kissed her...the thought of it still left her tingling and aching to be back in his arms.
“Yeah, something else,” Zane said with a cunning chuckle. “I’m sure that something else was blonde or brunette and about five foot two.”
“What do you know?” Sawyer asked, clearly annoyed with his friend. “She might’ve been a redhead.”
“Aw, that’s right, you like ’em all.”
“Don’t you have something else to do?” Sawyer asked sharply.
Zane chuckled, then after a quick glance to his left, he said, “Uh, yeah, I do. There’s Mort at the back of the crowd and he’s staring right at me.”
He walked away and Sawyer cast her a sheepish glance. “Sorry about that, Viv. Zane is—well—”
“Just being himself,” she finished stiffly. “You don’t have to apologize for your friend. He seems to know you quite well.”
Frowning, he moved close enough to speak in her ear. “I was out with you last night, remember? And I haven’t had a real girlfriend in ages!”
Vivian couldn’t decide whether she wanted to laugh or take off running. “Can you define what a real girlfriend means?”
“Well, it means a girl that I dated a few times—on a regular basis.”
“Oh. And what do you call the other ones?”
The frown on his face deepened. “I don’t have any other ones,” he said, then shook his head. “Okay, I confess, I tried to have a date last weekend. It didn’t work. And I ended up taking her home before the evening started. Thanks to you.”
“Me?” She tried to laugh, but the sound was hardly one of amusement. “Sorry, Sawyer. I was out of line. Your dating habits are none of my business.”
“Viv, are you...angry with me?”
She wasn’t angry. She was sick with jealousy and that made her more than stupid.
“Of course not. I have no reason to be angry with you.” Glancing away from him, she searched for a reason to make a quick exit and found it when she spotted an unusually long line outside the women’s restroom. “Excuse me, Sawyer. Looks like there might be a problem at the restroom.”
She walked off, while thinking she’d come very close to making herself look like a jealous fool over a man who didn’t belong to her, or any woman.
* * *
/> For the next half hour Sawyer wanted to catch up with Zane and choke the life out of him. The man didn’t know when to keep his mouth shut.
But by the time the caroling ended and the crowd began to disperse, he’d forgiven his buddy’s untimely remarks.
Zane was just being the happy-go-lucky jokester he’d always been. Besides, his friend had no idea that Sawyer was romantically interested in Vivian.
Romantically interested, hell! That couldn’t begin to describe the feelings he had for Vivian. But with a woman like her, how far could those feelings take him? Plucking a star from the sky would be easier than gaining Vivian’s love.
Love? No. That wasn’t what he wanted, Sawyer firmly repeated to himself as he helped move a stack of folding chairs into a storage building. Love didn’t last any more than hot sex. Ultimately, it all ended.
“Looks like that’s it for tonight.” Zane locked the storage building and turned to Sawyer. “Want to go grab a drink at Burro Crossing?”
“No, thanks.” He glanced around in hopes of catching a glimpse of Vivian. Ever since she’d walked away from him earlier this evening, he’d not crossed paths with her and he’d gotten the impression that she was purposely keeping her distance. “I think—” He broke off midsentence as he suddenly spotted Vivian walking toward her vehicle. “Excuse me, Zane. I’ll see you later.”
He hurried across the dimly lit parking lot and managed to reach her side just as she was opening the door on the truck.
“Viv, are you leaving?” he asked.
She turned toward him and from the look on her face, she was surprised to see him.
“In case you haven’t noticed, the services are over,” she said, “and Mort has dismissed us.”
A Ranger For Christmas (Linda Lael Miller Presents; Men 0f The West Book 40) Page 13