“I know. But—” he moved a step closer and lowered his voice, even though the parking lot was practically empty and no one was in hearing distance “—I thought you’d at least say goodbye before you left.”
She smiled up at him, but he could see the expression was strained. “You were busy. And I didn’t want to bother you.”
Her voice was as stiff as a starched shirt and although she’d said she wasn’t angry with him, something was definitely wrong.
“Bother me? Why don’t you just come out and say you’re trying to give me the brush-off?”
She sighed and he could see her features begin to soften.
“That would hardly be possible, Sawyer. We work together. I’ll see you first thing in the morning.”
“Working together is not what I’m talking about. Last night, when I left Three Rivers, you were happy. And that kiss on the patio—I thought you meant it.”
“Meant what?” she asked casually, then shook her head. “I’m just like you, Sawyer, I can enjoy a kiss just for the physical pleasure of it. After all, you said kisses were something to be enjoyed.”
His grandmother used to warn him that his philandering ways would one day come back to haunt him. He’d always laughed at the idea. After all, how could any of it haunt him when he was more than glad to move from one woman to the next? He should’ve known his grandmother was never wrong.
“Viv, please—”
She darted a glance at the opposite end of the parking lot where the last of the extra rangers were driving away.
“Look, Sawyer, I’ve been thinking and it’s not hard for me to figure out—this connection between us—isn’t going to work.”
The flatness of her voice scared him and in that moment, he realized that his world would be a very dark place without her.
He reached for her hand and captured its softness against his chest. “You’re wrong about us, Viv. And you have me wrong.”
Her gaze dropped to the ground. “You really need to let me go—home.”
Home was with him. The thought was crazy but he couldn’t push it out of his mind.
“It’s still early. I thought we might drive over to Burro Crossing and have coffee.”
Disbelief parted her lips. “Now?”
His hand tightened around hers. “Sure, right now. They have great pie, too. Cherry. Pecan. Chocolate meringue.”
She studied him for long moments and then to his immense relief, a tiny smile of surrender touched her lips. “Cherry, you say?”
“With ice cream if you’d like.”
She groaned. “Okay. Against my better judgment, I’ll follow you.”
* * *
Vivian couldn’t remember the last time she’d been to Burro Crossing. Most likely about two years ago when she’d made a trip with Holt up to Flagstaff to purchase several horses to add to Three Rivers’ remuda. But she recalled exactly where the old adobe bar and grill was located off the highway.
All through the fifteen-minute drive, she’d been giving herself a lecture about putting some common sense to use. As much as she wanted the man, she’d been right when she’d told him it wouldn’t work. He wasn’t a one-woman man and at his young age, it might be years before he got the urge to settle down. Or he might decide he never wanted to be tied to a wife and kids.
An affair wasn’t her style, she mentally argued. An affair would only lead her straight into a pit of quicksand. Yet here she was driving fifteen extra miles just to spend a few more minutes with the man. When was she going to get a grip? After her heart was lying crushed and broken on the floor?
By the time she pulled into the graveled parking area, Vivian had convinced herself that having coffee and pie with Sawyer wasn’t going to bring on a major heartbreak. Whether he had a hundred girls waiting for him up at Camp Verde didn’t matter. Spending time with him made her feel good and happy. It wasn’t like she was going to make the fatal mistake of falling in love with him.
She parked next to his truck and after pulling on a red fleece jacket, she grabbed her handbag from the back seat. Sawyer was waiting outside the vehicle to help her to the ground and as they walked to the building, he kept a firm hold on her hand. The sweet connection rattled Vivian and try as she might, she couldn’t shake off the odd feeling that her life was about to change.
Inside the dimly lit grill, they took a seat in a corner booth. Other than three grizzled-looking men nursing mugs of beer at the bar, she and Sawyer were the only patrons at this late hour.
They’d barely gotten settled when a tired-looking waitress with a messy blond bun emerged from a door behind the bar. She immediately carried two glasses of ice water, along with a couple of menus, to their table.
After she left to fetch their orders, Vivian said, “With this place being on your way home you probably stop here often.”
“It is on my way home, but I don’t stop that much. Zane and I eat here occasionally. But most of the time I get on home so I can eat with Grandmother.”
His grandmother. Just when Vivian was convinced he was nothing more than a flirt and a womanizer, she was reminded of the devotion he held for the woman who’d raised him from a very small boy, and her heart softened to a pile of mush.
“I’m sure she enjoys your company.” I do, she could’ve added, but recognized the words were needless. He could see for himself that she couldn’t resist his company.
“She likes having me around,” he admitted. “But she isn’t a demanding person. And never tries to butt into my life.”
“Hmm. You’re fortunate. Usually older folks get whiney and demanding,” Vivian remarked. “She sounds independent like Sam.”
He grinned at the mention of the old Bar X foreman. “I really enjoyed visiting with Sam last night. He told me a bit about Tessa and the background of how she happened to come to Arizona. I can’t imagine how shocked she must’ve been to learn her father was actually the late Sheriff Ray Maddox.”
“Well, I think Joe and Tessa began to suspect the truth before they ever found the proof. I do know that it’s all been great for Sam. He was so lost after Ray died. Now Tessa and Joe have made him a part of their family. And the ranch is going strong again.”
The waitress arrived with their orders and as they began to eat, he said, “Everybody needs somebody.”
She studied him for a long moment. “You have your grandmother. But do you ever want more?”
He looked at her as he lowered his fork back to the plate. “I have a feeling that no matter how I answer that question I’m going to be in trouble with you.”
She shook her head. “It’s not a trick question, Sawyer. Just be honest with me.”
He looked so uncomfortable that Vivian feared he might actually bolt from the building, but then he shrugged and dug back into his pie.
“Okay,” he said. “I’ll be honest. Are you asking me whether I ever want a wife and kids of my own?”
She’d not intended to steer the conversation in this direction and now that she had, she felt a bit foolish. There were no strings tying the two of them together. She couldn’t even call herself his girlfriend. That probably made his feelings about love and marriage none of her business. But after that episode on the patio last night, she felt she had a right to know that much about him.
“I do wonder if you ever hanker for a family,” she said. “Or if you even want one special lady in your life—instead of a merry-go-round of women.”
He scowled. “You’ve been listening to too many rumors.”
“No. I’ve been listening to you. I can see how you’re thinking—”
“No,” he interrupted, “you can’t see. Sure, I’ve gone out on plenty of dates. Some of the women I liked more than others. But none of them ever got any false promises from me. I’ve never pretended with them or with you.”
That much was true. He
’d not made her any sort of pledges or promises. So what was she expecting from him? Too much, too soon, she decided, while realizing the problem wasn’t with Sawyer, it was with her. She wanted far more from him than he was willing or able to give.
Reaching across the table, she touched the tip of her fingers to his. “I’m sorry, Sawyer. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I guess I’m a little frightened about—well, whatever this is that’s happening between us.”
A faint smile curved his lips. “If you want me to be honest, then I have to admit that I’m a little scared myself. But not enough to make me back away.”
You’re the lonely, independent, I-don’t-need-a-man-after-Garth kind.
Her mother’s reproving words suddenly drifted through Vivian’s mind and she realized that, for many years now, she’d been all those things and more. Lonely, yet determined to keep her heart safely cocooned so that no man could reach it. Deep down, she understood that kind of thinking had caused her to miss out on so much living. Even worse, it was still preventing her from reaching for the things she wanted most.
Her gaze met his and the desire she saw stirring in his eyes caused her heart to thump with anticipation.
“I’m not going to back away, either,” she said softly. “Not until you tell me to.”
With his gaze firmly locked on hers, he wrapped his hand around her fingers. “That’s not going to happen.”
An electric storm must be bearing down on them, she decided. The hold he had on her hand was shooting hot tingles straight up her arm, while the air between them was practically crackling with energy.
“You sound awfully certain of that,” she murmured.
He inclined his head toward her pie. “Let’s eat up so we can get out of here.”
Five minutes later, with food still on their plates and coffee cooling in their cups, Sawyer paid for the small meal and they left the bar and grill.
By now the night sky was filled with thousands of stars and a cool wind was blowing from the north. Any other time Vivian would’ve been shivering from the drop in temperature. But tonight, with Sawyer’s arm wrapped around the back of her waist, she felt a fire building inside her.
When they reached the spot where their vehicles were parked side by side, he led her to the small space between the truck cabs, where they’d be shielded from view of any passing motorist or patron leaving the bar and grill.
Vivian wasn’t surprised when he pulled her into his arms. Nor did she dream about resisting as his mouth came down on hers. Earlier she’d felt a change coming over her and now as he kissed her, she understood what it meant. Something inside her had finally started letting go. All the doubts, and fears, and questions that had been whirling around in her head were dissolving like raindrops on the desert floor.
When his mouth finally eased from hers, he spoke fervently against her cheek. “I’ve been wanting to do that all day. Every time I’m near you I want to gather you close in my arms and never let go.”
Stunned by the feelings he evoked in her, she reached up and cradled his face with both hands. “I want the same thing, too,” she admitted.
“Oh, Viv. My sweet Viv.”
Once again he covered her lips with his, only this time his kiss was desperate and all-consuming. She could think of nothing but the reckless mating of their mouths and the way his hands had found their way beneath her jacket to cup around both breasts.
Streaks of white-hot desire were racing through her, heating her skin and causing her heart to beat at a frantic pace. By the time he lifted his head, she recognized her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck, while the front of her body was crushed against a wall of hard, warm muscles.
“We can’t keep standing here like this. I think...we need to...uh, go somewhere quiet and private.”
She understood exactly what he was suggesting and the mere thought of being that alone with him was enough to cause her voice to drop to a husky rasp. “Yes—I think so, too. But where?”
He pondered her question for only a moment before he said, “I know a place. But it’s more than a half hour away. Burro Crossing is open all night so it should be safe to leave your truck here and I’ll drive us there.”
She didn’t stop to second-guess him or herself. She was tired of wondering how it would be to have Sawyer make love to her. Tired of being a woman in hiding.
“All right,” she told him. “On the way I’ll text my mother and let her know I’m having a late dinner with you before I head home.”
He feigned a shocked gasp. “Won’t that be telling her a fib?”
“Not entirely. We did have a few bites of pie.”
He clicked his tongue in shameful fashion. “Naughty girl. I must be rubbing off on you.”
Forty long minutes later they reached the Camp Verde Indian reservation. Sawyer took a narrow dirt road that led through red rock bluffs and low hills sparsely dotted with tall trees. Eventually, he stopped the truck in front of a small wood-framed house partially hidden behind a cluster of mesquite trees.
“Is this your place?” she asked, as he helped her to the ground.
“Yes. My late uncle Willy left it to me years ago when I was still a teenager. I was the only immediate family he had.” He reached for her hand. “Better hang on to me until we reach the door. The ground is rough and there’s no yard light.”
“Do you have electricity here?” she asked.
“Yes. I keep it and the water on. Since my grandmother’s home is a few miles on the other side of the reservation, I rarely get by this way. But I like to have the utilities. Makes it easier to keep the place clean,” he explained.
They stepped onto the planked floor of a deep porch, and Sawyer fished a key from his jeans pocket and unlocked the door. After he reached inside and flipped on the light, he ushered her inside the house.
“This is cozy,” she commented as she gazed curiously around the small room.
Watching her reaction, Sawyer tried to imagine what it looked like through her eyes. The furniture dated back to the midseventies and the flowered wallpaper had faded from the heat and sunlight. Brown patterned linoleum was worn through in spots to expose the wood subflooring, but it was clean, as was the rest of the house.
He walked over to a small gas heater and turned the thermostat to high. “Not anything like Three Rivers,” he replied. “But I’ve always been proud to call it mine. One of these years I might decide to fix it up. But I kinda like it like this because it reminds me of my uncle. And my dad. The two brothers were close and Dad always brought me with him when he came here to visit.”
“I wouldn’t do a thing to it.” She stepped to the middle of the room. “And let me tell you, this house is grand compared to the little cabin my great-great-grandparents lived in. It’s the original ranch house. And other than making repairs to keep it intact, we haven’t altered it.”
“Sounds interesting.”
“It is. One of these days I’ll show it to you.”
“I like the sound of that.” He came up behind her and slipped his arms around her waist, then bending his head, he nuzzled his nose against the side of her neck. “I’m sorry about the long drive to get here. I hope it didn’t give you too much time to think.”
She twisted around until she was facing him. “You mean about being here with you?”
She felt warm and oh, so soft in his arms. He didn’t think he could ever get tired of touching her, hearing her voice or resting his eyes on her lovely face.
“Something like that,” he murmured.
Tilting her head back, she gave him a provocative smile that lit her eyes with all sorts of promises. “If you’re wondering if I’m having second thoughts, I’m not.”
The thrill that rushed through him was so strong and unexpected that for a moment he wondered if his boots were actually touching the floor.
&nb
sp; “Then you won’t mind if I wait to show you the rest of the house?” he asked huskily.
“I won’t mind at all.”
Groaning with need, he lowered his lips to hers. The contact created an instant combustion and after a few short moments they were wrapped in each other’s arms, their mouths fused together.
Raw desire shot through him and sparked a fire deep in his loins.
Sawyer couldn’t remember ever wanting a woman the way he wanted Vivian. Nor could he begin to understand the tangled feelings swirling through him. Was this his body crying out for sexual release? Or his heart pining to love her? Really love her?
Tonight he couldn’t allow himself think about the what, or the why. In fact, he didn’t want to think at all. He only wanted to feel the exquisite pleasure of having her body next to his. And with that sole intention, he eased his mouth from hers and lifted her into his arms.
With her arms latched tightly around his neck, he carried her down a short hallway and entered a door to their right. The room was subtly lit with shafts of moonlight slanting through a bare window. The illumination was enough for him to see his way to the bed and once he reached the side of it, he set her back on her feet.
“There’s a clean quilt on the bed, but no sheets,” he told her. “I don’t bother with those because no one ever sleeps here.”
“No one?”
His hands cradled her face as he brought the tip of his nose to hers. “In case that wicked little mind of yours is working overtime, you happen to be the first and only woman I’ve ever brought here. Can you believe me?”
“I don’t think you’d lie about that. But I am wondering why me? And why this place?”
He rubbed his lips over her cheek, then down toward the corner of her mouth. “Because you’re the only woman I would ever want to share this place with. It’s special. Like you.”
“Sawyer, please—you don’t have to shower me with sweet words just to make me feel like I’m not—”
“About to leap off a tall, rocky cliff,” he finished wryly.
She lifted her gaze up to his face, and the desire he saw in her green eyes not only humbled him, it left him feeling ashamed and afraid.
A Ranger For Christmas (Linda Lael Miller Presents; Men 0f The West Book 40) Page 14