“Go eat. I won’t leave for my work without saying good-bye.”
“Promise?”
Seta nodded solemnly. “I promise.”
“Endara? Come now.”
Seta set her away and watched Endara scamper toward a home, battling more tears when she disappeared from view. A large male hand appeared, barely visible through the water covering her eyes. She took it, appreciating any help at the moment.
“Look at you. The thought of leaving us makes you weep. Why don’t you stay with us, Seta? I’ll go back to your father and bargain for Endara’s mother. I’m sure Suzerain Trax will let her go for the right price.”
Seta sniffed and shook her head. “No. He was planning to charge you seven times more than what you already paid, just for Endara. If you go back for Ineid he will know you know the child’s true worth. The male sees only his own wealth at the end of every discussion. It is time for a broader social change in Suzerain Trax’s canton.”
Garmon gripped her hand, squeezing it hard. “Why do you think you can change this? I fear you are going to your death if you return empty-handed to him.”
Seta didn’t deny it. “My father will not find me so easy to kill, Garmon. I worry more for Ji’s life than I do my own.”
“I worry for you the way you worry for him. Is your confidence for your survival based on the secret you are keeping inside you?”
“It’s not a secret to Endara. It is not a secret to most intuitives. I am sharing my life with another being whose power is much greater than my own. Without her, I would have been dead long ago. My first Ethosian mate loaned me out to a trader who strangled me to death because I fought him during bonding. The being within me is the reason I survived. I literally owe her my life. We have a sacred agreement.”
“Does this so-called Ethosian mate still live or did he suffer the same fate as the thief I watched you choke to death?”
“My attacker’s death was much messier. I stabbed him with a kitchen knife, then did the same to Rena’s attacker, and finally to our so-called mate as well. They all bowed to destiny the same day I did. I have no regrets in the matter, Garmon. Outside of them, the three thieves are all the males I’ve ever completely killed, even in my starship service. I am not as bloodthirsty as the being I carry,” Seta answered.
“It would not matter to me if you had killed a hundred,” Garmon answered, squeezing her hand hard. “Are you really going to choose life with the Siren over me? I admit he is more appealing—from a certain point of view.”
Seta pulled her hand gently from Garmon’s. “Ji’s allure for me is not his Siren appearance. He followed me to Ethos to help me. He comforted me after Rena’s death. Not long ago we were captured by someone who invaded our ship. Before those events I served in his command for several years. Ji and I—we have a long history—and our time together is not over yet. I meant what I said about not wanting a real mate, Garmon. I can’t bear the thought of being bound to someone in any form ever again.”
Garmon snorted and shook his head. “It is difficult to hear you talk of mating in such a negative way. Here we view it as the greatest of blessings. There are many who don’t have anyone to come home to after work or to care for them when times are hard. While the Siren is not my first choice for you, I can tell he wants only your happiness. You have with him what most spend their life seeking, Seta of Trax. I hope for your sake you can one day appreciate his compassion. Death will be too late to enjoy it.”
“I’m going to miss your poetic declarations, Garmon of Ker,” Seta said, ignoring the seriousness of his statements.
Garmon laughed at her teasing. “I have decided to forgive you for your deception. Your help today spoke louder than your words.”
He took Seta’s hand in his and lifted her fingers to his lips. “We may never know the joys of each other, but you will always hold a place in my heart. There is no need to return to your sire’s house—ever. The mining canton will be your home on Ethos for the rest of your life. Even if I never get to call you my mate, I will at least forever call you one of my family.”
Seta slipped her fingers from his hand and bowed her head. “May the Creators bless you one day with a wonderful mate and many children to carry on your work. You are the best Ethosian male I have ever met, Garmon of Ker. I would be pleased to call you my friend.”
She watched Garmon nod as he slowly walked away. Tears streamed once more as she headed back to where Ji was still brooding. In all her imaginings of a better life, having two wonderful males interested in her never crossed her mind.
Chapter 15
Seta watched Ji dressing with a heavy heart. His healing had happened quickly, which he’d shrugged off as Siren metabolism. He had held her as they slept last night, but said next to nothing to her. It was not like him to be so reserved. In fact, it was not like him to go so long without issuing some bossy order or making some sarcastic remark about something she said.
She hated nothing more than worrying about what Ji thought and how he felt.
She certainly didn’t want to care why he hadn’t bothered to touch her, even though she had felt proof of his interest pressed against her all night along.
“How much longer will I have to endure your quiet anger at me? If you have something to say, just say it so I can defend myself,” Seta demanded.
Ji gathered up his things. “I’m not angry at you. I’m just resigned to acknowledging my mistakes. Yesterday I realized you should stay here—with Garmon. He is a good male and can give you a happy life. He is right. There is much good you can do for these people. Endara doesn’t have the strength yet to clear a mine shaft. Without you those miners could have died. If you stayed, you could be her teacher and see she uses her gifts for good.”
Seta narrowed her gaze at his words. “I cannot stay—not that I want to—but I have a Peace Alliance contract to fulfill.”
“Contracts are easily broken when there is great need on your home planet. I think Garmon could easily justify asking for your release. I would witness for you. The matter could be resolved without you ever leaving Ethos. Garmon said a neighboring canton has a small transport ship equipped with a communication device reaching out to the edge of the planet’s atmosphere. I could arrange for the Captain of the Paladin to receive your transmission. You know Kel and I are old friends. And I would personally explain the situation to Captain Synar. So you see—the contract is no reason to return.”
“Why are you trying to get me to stay here?” Seta demanded.
Ji shrugged. “I’m a lot older and a lot more jaded about the possibilities of living well. This kind of life opportunity doesn’t present itself very often, Seta. I think you need to think about whether or not living among these people is your true destiny. It may be the reason you returned to Ethos. Finding out about the mining canton may be the real journey you were destined to take.”
“But you said you were my destiny,” Seta spat, Ji’s calm words making her angry. Where was his Siren devotion now? It seemed like he couldn’t wait to get her out of his life.
“Well, I wanted to be the male in your life. That isn’t the same as it being a profound truth worth pursuing. What you told Garmon—and me—I know that is your real truth. You honestly don’t want a mate. I’ve heard it since the first time we bonded. Zorinda was even backing you up yesterday. If you stay near me, I’m going to make you mine, Seta. And if I do so, I take the decision from your hands forever. A Siren mates for life—even death doesn’t end the connection. You won’t want anyone but me once it’s done. I don’t want to do that to you when it’s obvious it’s not what you want. My patience is not without limits, so let’s not discuss this again.”
“So just like that—you get an idea in your head—and we’re done with each other,” Seta declared.
“No, we’re not done. I’m going to return with you to help kill your father—or whatever it is you intend to do with him. Then hopefully we’ll be done afterward. Frankly, I don’t want to
miss my ride back to the Guardian 13. My destiny is definitely not on this planet. I belong among the stars, or at the very least somewhere civilized like Rylen.”
His speech hurt her feelings, but she pushed it aside. He was just upset about Garmon’s mating offer. Any other male Ji would have threatened his life over her. Any other male would have felt his instant wrath if he’d shown such interest. Was she not worth the effort to him any longer?
“Garmon has agreed to accept Ineid into his canton if we can free her. She is my first consideration. I made her a promise to return for her,” Seta said.
Ji turned and nodded. He couldn’t meet her gaze. It was too hard after pretending he was okay with what he just said.
“Good. When he spoke to me Garmon offered to help, but we can’t risk his life. His people need him too much. Looks like it’s just the two of us to finish your father’s quest, Seta Trax. I hope Zorinda is willing to help or we’re dead before we get back there.”
“She will help,” Seta declared, relieved to feel Zorinda flutter in agreement.
“Then all that is left is doing it,” Ji said flatly.
“The whole mining canton is preparing a feast tonight—in celebration of the miners being saved. I would like to attend so I can see Endara again before I go.”
“Go to the feast then. I think I’ll stay behind and make final preparations. Both our weapons are being serviced. Garmon’s warriors have offered us our choice of other ammunition. I’ll pick some for both of us. Enjoy yourself tonight and I’ll see you when you return.”
Heart aching at Ji’s cold rejection, Seta turned to leave. “I was never going to choose him, Ji. He is a good male but Garmon is not for me. If his offer is your problem, you are concerned for nothing.”
Ji snorted. “Not wanting Garmon as a mate is no reason to give up your place among these people. No male is meant for you, Seta. I finally believe you. And from what I saw yesterday, you really don’t need a male for protection. You will always be more powerful than any male who shares your bed. That’s only going to get more true as you learn how to work with Zorinda’s power.”
“Must relationships always be about power and control? Can they not be about other things? Did it never occur to you our relationship might be based on something—more important?”
Ji stopped and stared. “Like what, Seta?”
Confession of her longing for him hovered on her tongue, begging to be spoken. But he turned away and she lost her nerve. There was no giving this male a little of herself. She had known it from the beginning. Ji either wanted all of her or he would take nothing.
She left their quarters before she started crying again.
***
The smiling female in front of her adjusted the layers of silk covering her body. Seta looked down at the gold disks on her fingers and the metal beads decorating nearly every inch of her.
“He will not come. He told me he is not coming. I will be dancing for strangers, just like I did in my father’s canton.”
Zandala laughed. “The Siren’s ego is wounded perhaps, but he will come. When you dance for him, I think he will feel it. Your power is strong and will call out for an answer. He would be a fool to remain silent.”
“Are you an intuitive?” Seta asked.
Zandala bowed her head. “I am a lot of things. Right now what I am is happy to see you express yourself in front of people who long to accept you. By now the whole canton knows it was your power which helped Endara move the large rocks. She’s shown nearly everyone how she can make the little ones dance.”
“Infamy was not why I helped.”
“Of course it wasn’t,” Zandala validated. “Females don’t measure the cost of helping. They just do what must be done. I saw you helping move rocks the hard way long before Endara was brought. Now stand still and let me finish my task.”
“I don’t know why I even care what the Siren thinks. He said I was his destiny. Now he wants to give me away. Do you have a mate?” Seta asked.
Zandala smiled as she shook her head. “No. Not yet, but I favor Crill. He is Garmon’s second and thinks he is too busy to spend time in my arms. He is wrong. I am wearing him down. Garmon teases him about being foolish for refusing me.”
Seta snorted. “Many pleased eyes watch you dance, Zandala. Do you dance only for Crill?”
“Each and every time, sister. Each and every time,” Zandala said sincerely, finally standing up. She was eyeball to eyeball with the most interesting female she had ever met. “You deserve the Siren’s full devotion. Power will not comfort you in the dark of night when no welcoming arms are around you. I had welcoming arms around me once. Suzerain Trax took them away. I lacked the power to change my fate, but you are not a female like me.”
Seta couldn’t answer—not truthfully. She had no idea what she wanted, except to make sure Ji never looked at her coldly again. “I wish you luck with dancing for Crill tonight. Thank you for the costume, Zandala.”
“My pleasure,” Zandala replied. “Come now, mover of rocks. Let’s dance for our stubborn males.”
***
Endara stood waiting for the two males to notice her. Finally the pretty one did. Looking at him always made her smile. “They’re dancing for you and you’re missing it,” she taunted.
Ji looked at Crill. “Is she trying to tell us something?” He watched the male sigh. “Yes. Zandala is dancing tonight. This little one sees too much for someone so young. There is no keeping secrets from her.”
“My sister dances for you,” she declared loudly, pointing her finger at her sister’s male.
One of Ji’s eyebrows raised. “Are you telling me Seta is dancing?”
The answer was a wild giggle as Endara ran off. No, she had to be teasing him.
Crill sighed. “Seeing the eyes of other males on Zandala is becoming more than I can tolerate. Each costume she wears is more revealing than the last. She had done this on purpose to torment me. She knows my patience is waning.”
“I don’t think Endara is telling the complete truth. I can’t imagine Seta dancing. Her memories of doing so in her father’s canton are too bad,” Ji said, loading his choices into a tactical bag.
“To the best of my knowledge Endara has never lied. Are you willing to take the chance and miss seeing your female dance for you? I thought Sirens were supposed to be possessive of their females. If you don’t want Seta, Garmon is very interested. In fact, I’ve never seen him so interested in a female.”
Ji stopped him with a look. “I didn’t say I didn’t want her.”
Crill laughed and held out his hand for the bag. “We can finish this later. You’ve already made all the important decisions.”
Sighing, Ji handed the bag to Crill. “All except one. If I get out of hand tonight tell Garmon to use the strongest sedative he owns and knock me out.”
Ji watched Crill laugh at his confession, but then no one had ever seen a Siren on Ethos before. None of them knew what a torture mating was for his kind.
“It is not a joke. Remember what I said,” Ji ordered, walking ahead of the Ethosian.
***
Seta looked at herself in the full mirror. The costume was beautiful, but her hair was a terrible mix of fairest blonde with the darkest of black streaks. She hated it.
Could you not have given me something less dramatic, Zorinda? All of it brown would have been a better choice.
Is that an order? Zorinda asked.
Seta laughed. No. I’ll save the orders for more important matters. Consider it a request. And thank you for helping Endara move the rocks. I am grateful, as are these people.
It is my job to serve you. Which is why I warn you now—your Siren comes to us—to you.
Seta lifted an eyebrow as her face flushed. Her excitement over him seeing her dressed as she was caused flutters very different from Zorinda’s presence.
I think you were right the first time. There is no me any longer. There is only us, Zorinda. I am working to accept y
ou are part of me. Please do not make me regret it.”
Your acceptance pleases me, Seta Trax. Are you going to keep the Siren in our life?
Seta sighed at the question. If I do, Ji will bend my will to his. It is his nature.
I vow not to let him bend it until you break. I like your strength of character. I will let no male steal it from you.
Seta nodded, feeling relieved Zorinda understood. Her head bouncing was an odd action to do in the mirror and brought a smile to her face.
When Rena left for good, I felt alone—more alone than I had ever felt in my life. Your presence has brought me more comfort than even Ji’s arms holding me at night. When I die, may the Creators release you from your sacred contract. This may be as early as tomorrow if things don’t go as well as I hope. Since I’m telling everyone my secrets, I figured I might as well confess to you.
Your death will not come easily. Think of what you want done and I will make it so. You have only to ask. I cannot act alone except in very small ways.
Thank you. Can you show me what you used to look like? I would like to see you.
Seta sent the question silently. Before her, the mirror blurred and reformed until a hazy image of a dark-haired female appeared.
I can see why you want me to have dark hair, and I once wanted it myself, but seeing it on me is like looking at a stranger. Perhaps you could give me some light shade of brown? It would a compromise between us.
The glass rippled as the image in it faded without answering. Who knew what color of hair she was going to get? She hoped Ji had been serious about liking her even if she shaved it off because she was never going be able to live with black hair.
In a musical tinkle of metal, she walked to the opening to watch the other dancers finishing their opening dance. No sooner had they stopped than her music started filling the air.
Raising her arms, she let herself be transported back to a time when her heart had been young enough to still hope the right male would see her and fall desperately in love. So much had changed since that young girl existed. She thought of Rena leaving. She thought of Zorinda trapped inside her. Her destiny had wound itself on a trail of changes reaching across the star system from Ethos and back.
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