Call Me Lydia

by MaryAnn Myers

"Oh she is, but...."

  Sharon thought she heard her name mentioned. "But what?"

  Lydia laughed, leaning close to Jan to whisper, "Just don't tell her you used to be a nun, or you'll have to listen to her lifelong confessions all night."

  Sharon got out of the pool and started drying off. "You two better not be talking about me."

  "Oh come on! We are!" Lydia said, laughing, and warned Jan again with a look.

  "But nuns don't hear confession," Jan said, lowering her voice.

  Lydia smiled. "That won't matter. You don't know Sharon."

  Sharon came in then and glanced at them on her way to the bar. "Did you tell Jan that I'm unmarried, pregnant, and in need of some moral support?"

  Jan's eyes widened, and Lydia explained. "Brian, the other half, doesn't want her to have the baby. He wants her to have an abortion." Jan gulped. "And they've been seeing each other exclusively for years now too."

  Jan was appalled. "He won't marry you?"

  "Oh no..." Sharon said, waving her glass. "He will. But only on his terms. See, the asshole gave me a choice, marriage or the baby. And get this, he actually thinks he's being flexible - the son of a bitch."

  Jan shook her head in dismay. "You mean, he'll marry you if you don't have the baby?"

  Sharon nodded. "So he says. But he can take his fucking marriage proposal and stick it up his ass for all I care. In fact…."

  Jan's shocked expression forced Lydia to interrupt. "Gee, Sharon, did I tell you Jan's a nun?" Heaven forbid she should go on all night like this.

  "What?!" Sharon spit out her drink.

  "Actually, I used to be a nun," Jan said.

  "Holy shit! And now you're not?"

  Jan nodded.

  "So don't shock her all night," Lydia said, laughing. "Okay?"

  Sharon wasn't listening. "A nun? A real live nun?"

  Jan nodded reverently. "I left the order a few years ago."

  Sharon's eyes got big. "You mean you're a virgin?"

  Jan answered frankly. "No. I was married for a time. I'm divorced now."

  Sharon shook her head and looked at Lydia. "And you thought I'd shock her?”

  Lydia laughed, and with that, the three of them went out onto the patio. Sharon edged her chair up close to Jan's, insisting she be told every last detail of her life, and prompted her whenever she stopped to take a breath. "Okay, so then what?"

  "Well, his nephew was having trouble with math, so I…."

  "Not about that! Who cares? So he had a nephew. Big deal! Don't we all at some time in our life? Get on with it."

  Jan giggled, and Lydia rolled her eyes. "Jan, if it bothers you to talk about this…."

  "No, that's all right. It doesn't."

  "You sure?"

  "Yes. In fact, it feels good to talk about it. I haven't been able to."

  Sharon made a face at Lydia, one that said, "See, she wants to talk about it," and picked up where they'd left off.

  "Okay, so the kid was having trouble with math. Then what?"

  Jan began with a sigh. "At first we just talked. Mainly about his nephew. Then gradually about other things. We seemed to share a lot of the same ideals. And then one day...." She paused momentarily.

  Sharon couldn't stand the suspense. "Then one day what?"

  "Then one day he kissed me, right on the lips. I couldn't believe it. Nor could he, I think."

  "Oh my God, were you wearing your habit and every­thing?"

  Jan smiled. "No, not for teaching."

  "Still...wow! What'd you do?"

  "I don't recall exactly. I was too shocked, I guess. But I knew I felt something for him, so it was a difficult time. I had to make a choice."

  Sharon sighed heavily. "How romantic. You know, I saw a movie about this once."

  Jan smiled, and something in that smile saddened Lydia. "I may have seen it also," Jan said then. "I believe it had a happy ending."

  Sharon fell silent, and it was Lydia who asked, "Do you ever see him?"

  Jan shook her head. "No. We found we really didn't have that much in common after all. I tried working with him for a while, thinking that might help. But it didn't, so we divorced."

  "When was this?" Lydia asked.

  "January. Right before I applied at your company."

  Lydia smiled compassionately. This explained a lot. She was trying to heal and ended up at Merchant Manufacturing.

  "All right, so what about the nephew?" Sharon said. "Did he pass math or what?"

  The three of them laughed. Jan said he got a B, and that called for another drink. Then the shrimp cocktail. And then the cheese and crackers.

  "Did you love him?" Sharon asked, back on this again.

  "I don't know," Jan said. "I think I was in love with being in love. I just didn't know the difference at the time."

  "Oh great!" Lydia said, with her mouth full. "Tell me that now when I'm hanging by a thread with Tony."

  Sharon raised an eyebrow and leaned forward. "Tony? As in, Tony my foreman, the one you gave to me?"

  Lydia nodded casually. "He slept here last night."

  Sharon's mouth dropped. "He what?! And you didn't tell me? Why not?"

  "Because there's nothing to tell. Nothing happened."

  Sharon sat back and shook her head in amazement. "Only my best friend can spend the night with a man that epitomizes 'Stud of the Year' and say nothing happened."

  "That's because nothing did," Lydia said, laughing. "We slept on the couch."

  Jan giggled. "But oh, if you'd seen them this afternoon when I walked in on them."

  Sharon's eyes widened. "At the plant?"

  Jan nodded, giggling some more, and Sharon looked at Lydia. "Nothing happens on the couch, but at the plant…? Whoa, have we come a long way baby!"

  Lydia laughed, and Sharon motioned for Jan to give her the scoop. "And spare me no details."

  "Well, it was terribly embarrassing, I can tell you that," Jan said. "Because they were in this uh, rather tight position."

  "You're kidding! I love it! How tight?"

  "Tight!" Jan said emphatically. "And Tony was trying so hard to be discreet, hiding his, his uh...."

  "And I thought he pulled it off rather well," Lydia said, laughing. "Honest, Sharon.. Jan came just in time. I mean, it's like the man pushes buttons, and I just turn on."

  Sharon pretended to be shocked when Lydia said mat, and Lydia gave her a shove. "Nothing happened! Honest!"

  Sharon exaggerated a sigh of disappointment. She knew better all along, but still hoped, and now there went her details.

  "Is it getting warmer?" Jan asked, fanning herself with a napkin.

  "No, it's the wine," Lydia teased. It was getting warmer, and shortly after that, they went inside and changed into their suits to go swimming. As one would expect, Jan came out in a very modest, basic black one-piece, which made her look thinner than possible. Lydia wore a bikini, a pale yellow one, her favorite because of its high top and low bottom.

  Jan tested the water with her toes, thinking it would take some getting used to, and was pleasantly surprised. "This is beautiful."

  "It's kept at eighty-six," Lydia said. "My mother liked it this warm, so it's still kept that way."

  "Which reminds me," Sharon said, as Lydia dove over her head, barely making a splash.

  "What?" Lydia asked, surfacing at the other end.

  "George was here when I came. He said to tell you that your dad's still doing his exercises."

  Lydia sighed and, with that, let herself sink to the bottom. The gloom was apparently gone by the time she resurfaced, because now she was hungry, starved no less. "I'll check the potatoes and start the steaks," she said. "You guys go ahead and swim." Before long, they were eating.

  "Greg called today," Lydia said.

  Sharon glanced up from piling sour cream onto her potato. "Oh? What did he have to say?"

  "I don't know. I didn't talk to him. Jan took a message."

  Sharon turned to Jan, who then rela
yed that message, and for a moment, Sharon didn't say anything. Then, "He does, you know. He loves you a lot."

  Lydia sighed. "I know."

  "Are you gonna call him back?"

  Lydia shook her head. "No. I was just telling you he called."

  Sharon waited for her to say something more, and sure enough. "Besides, why should I? Especially with Tony…."

  Sharon stared, then dropped her fork and turned to Jan. "Tell me? Does she look different when she mentions that man's name, or is it just me?"

  Jan chuckled, squinting, as if trying to see for herself before agreeing, and Lydia denied it. "Shall I rattle off a bunch of men's names and put it to a test?"

  Sharon picked up her fork and waved it flamboyantly. "No. Why bother? They're all the same anyway. I mean, it's like they should be numbered or something so we can tell them apart."

  Jan giggled. "Oh…I don't know. I think we could prob­ably tell them apart another way."

  Lydia started to laugh, the idea was funny enough, let alone coming from Jan, who was getting quite tipsy. And Sharon added to it. "Speaking of which, did you ever wonder about erections?"

  "All the time!" Lydia said. "It's what keeps me awake nights!"

  "I'm serious!" Sharon sputtered. "Like, where in the hell do they come from?"

  "I know what you mean," Jan said. "You look down, and there it is. Right out of nowhere. And so proud!"

  ` "Yeah, like it's saying, 'look at me!' It makes you wanna tell it to go back to where it came from. That if you didn't cause it, you don't want it!"

  Sharon was hysterical. "And then it should only pop back up at the last minute so it doesn't get in the way until then, demanding attention the way they do."

  Jan raised her arms, singing, "So proud!" Sharon stood a fork on end. And with that, Lydia rolled off her chair, barely able to catch her breath for laughing. Amidst all this hysteria, a car turned into the drive.

  Lydia heard the door slam. "Shhhh!" she said, with her finger to her mouth. "That must be Tony."

  "Tony?!" Sharon said. "Here? What for? To do more nothing?"

  Lydia pushed at her, laughing, and Sharon pushed her back, sending her toward the gate, where she composed herself to peek out through the bushes.

  "It's him," she whispered, hurrying back. "Now behave."

  "Behave...?" Sharon said with indignance, managing to look serious for about a second. "I always behave."

  "Right," Lydia said, reaching for her hand and imitating her act when she'd met Tony. "Tell me, Tony, do you like children?"

  Sharon batted her hand away, laughing as tears ran down her cheeks, and Jan just roared.

  "You really asked him that?"

  Sharon nodded ridiculously. "Yes! But he wouldn't an­swer me! Which I think was quite rude, if you ask me."

  "No one asked you!" Lydia said, sputtering. "Now be­have. And I mean it!"

  Sharon swore she would. "Cross my heart and hope to die!"

  Lydia then cleared her throat dramatically, waving her hands in front of her face to try to regain some composure, and went inside. She wasn't sure if Tony had even knocked yet, but opened the door anyway, and suddenly felt very naked just standing there.

  Tony smiled, lowering his eyes slowly over every part of her as he closed the door behind him.

  This was the first time Lydia had seen him in anything other than his work uniform. He was wearing faded jeans and a blue, open-neck polo shirt, and looked terrific.

  "Did you bring your suit?"

  Tony reached for her, shaking his head. "Is the party over yet?"

  Lydia laughed, sounding giddy as she halfheartedly tried to pull away. "No, we just sat down to eat. Come on, I'll put your steak on."

  Tony refused to let her go, leaning down to kiss her as he ran his hands over her bare hips to the elastic on her bikini bottom, and she pushed against his chest.

  "Tony…."

  He smiled and stepped back then, following her with his eyes as she walked across the living room and into the kitchen. "Nice suit. You don't wear it in public though, do you?"

  Lydia chuckled. "You're not one of those types, are you?"

  "I don't know," he said, walking toward her. "I never was before, but I may be now."

  Lydia shook her head, laughing. "Want a beer?"

  Tony nodded, and she got one out and handed it to him. He leaned back against the kitchen counter, watching her as she reached into the bottom of the refrigerator for the steak.

  "One or two?" she asked.

  He didn't answer, his mind wandering with the curve of her hips, and she straightened up, asking him again.

  "One," he said, pointing to the one in her right hand. "And I like it medium."

  Lydia smiled at the look in his eyes. "Why don't you go out on the patio? I'll start it and be right out."

  Tony nodded, kissing her as he tucked her damp hair behind her ear, and Lydia nudged him toward the door.

  Sharon stared conspicuously with her mouth gaping as he walked over and sat down. He said hi, hello, or something like that, but she barely listened. As he looked over the pool, saying, "How's the water?" it was Jan who suppressed a giggle to answer, because Sharon was speechless.

  "It's beautiful. Really warm."

  Tony smiled and motioned for her to go on eating, then looked over at Sharon. She was still staring. "Would you happen to have a brother?" she asked, finding her voice.

  "No, just a sister."

  "Too bad," Sharon said, with a dramatic sigh, and Tony laughed, then glanced at Lydia's plate. Half her steak and most of her potato were untouched.

  "Want some shrimp cocktail?" Lydia asked from the doorway.

  Tony nodded, and she came out with it, bragging about Jan's cocktail sauce. He was glad she dipped one for him then, getting him to take a bite, saying, "Isn't it delicious?" because his mind had wandered again with the gentle sway of her hips as she'd walked toward him.

  "Yes," he said, smiling, which had Jan blushing and giggling, and Lydia turned to go back in. Tony stopped her. "Here..." he said. "Why don't you sit down and eat." When Lydia objected, he pulled her onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her, and cut a piece of meat and fed it to her.

  "Now let me up," he said. "I'll cook my own steak."

  As soon as he went inside, Sharon leaned across the table, marveling in a whisper. "My God... did you see the size of that man's shoulders?"

  Lydia nodded, as wide-eyed as Sharon. "You should see him without his shirt on."

  Jan looked stunned. "I thought you said nothing happened?"

  "I did. I saw him with it off at the plant."

  "Today?"

  Lydia laughed, saying, "No, the other day," which was just cause for Jan to giggle again, since everything was funny at this point, and Sharon marveled on.

  "And did you see his arms? They're bigger than my thighs, for Christ's sake!"

  Lydia nodded again, and on that, Jan pointed out her favorite part. "Personally, I like his butt, and the way he walks!" which set them off all over again, and Tony hesitated at the door.

  "Come on," Lydia urged, when she noticed him stand­ing there. "We won't do this anymore."

  But no sooner had he sat down than Sharon started. "Um, we were having this very interesting discussion before you came. And now that you're here, perhaps you'd like to give us a man's viewpoint on...."

  Lydia cupped her hand over her mouth, threatening, "Don't you dare!"

  Tony laughed. He could just imagine. "No, that's okay," he said. "I'll pass."

  Lydia turned slightly when he said that, trying not to laugh herself for fear of encouraging Sharon - gave her another warning out of the corner of her eye, then turned back and cleared her throat. "How's your steak?"

  "Just the way I like it," Tony said, and for a moment the two of them gazed at each other. Then he winked and reached for his beer, saying, "Eat."

  Sharon sighed longingly. "Are you sure you don't have a brother?"

  "I'm sure," Tony said, s
miling. "I have a cousin that's like a brother, though."

  "No kidding! Do you think you could fix me…."

  Lydia interrupted. "Don't pay any attention to her, Tony. She's all talk."

  Sharon frowned indignantly. "I am not."

  "You are too. Christ, your nickname in school was a testament to that."

  "What nickname?"

  "Not in front of Tony," Lydia said, which really got Sharon going then, wondering what it was. That was conver­sation through dinner. There was no nickname, Lydia had just said that, which took some convincing as well, when she finally got around to admitting it. But by then, they were done eating.

  Lydia and a very mellow Jan cleared the dishes, while Sharon went to refill drinks. Tony was over by the railing, staring down at the beach when Sharon came out and handed him his beer.

  He thanked her and then took a drink, looking out at the ocean. "Sounds like you and Lydia have been friends a long time."

  Sharon smiled. "Ever since we were in grade school."

  Tony glanced at her. "Then you probably know her about as well as anyone, don't you?"

  Sharon answered proudly. "We're best friends."

  Tony kind of nodded, acknowledging that, then propped his elbows on the railing, just watching the waves come and go. Sharon wondered if there was something he wanted to

  know about Lydia. Something he wanted to ask. But he didn't ask anything, he just stared out, and Lydia soon joined them.

  "Where's Jan?" Sharon asked.

  "In the bathroom. She's not feeling very well."

  "It's the wine," Sharon said with authority. "It gets you every time."

  Lydia smiled. "I thought I'd give her a few minutes, then go check on her. God knows I've been there often enough."

  "I'll do it," Sharon said. "You stay here."

  Lydia agreed, and Tony stepped back to tuck her in between him and the railing, kissing the side of her neck as he wrapped his arms around her.

  Sharon came out with Jan after a few minutes, announcing she was going to drive her home and that they' d be back for her car tomorrow. Jan said she felt a lot better, but admitted to being a little lightheaded. Before long they were gone.

  Lydia turned to Tony then, and for a moment, they just looked at one another. "Did you want to go swimming?"

  Tony shook his head, saying softly, "No...maybe later."