Call Me Lydia

by MaryAnn Myers

"Are you going back to the shop?" Frank asked.

  Lydia rolled her eyes. "No, I thought I'd go see my dad, if that's all right with you?"

  Frank smiled, but wasn't budging. "And Tony?"

  Lydia shook her head. There was no Tony. "I want to thank you both for putting up with me the other day. I guess I must've seemed like...."

  Frank stopped her. "Just give him a chance to explain. Okay?"

  Lydia swallowed. "Look, Frank. I'm sorry. I really am. He's your cousin and all, and it's obvious you care about him a lot, but he's just not who I thought he was." Her voice cracked. "I just didn't know him like I thought I did."

  "Yeah, well he sure knows you," Frank said. "Coming up with that story about some woman having his baby sent you right into our hands."

  Lydia's color drained completely, and as she looked away then, tears welled up in her eyes. "You mean, that wasn't true?"

  Frank shook his head. "No. That call was placed by one of our dispatchers."

  Lydia stared out the window, remembering the look on Tony's face when she asked him if it was his baby, remember­ing it vividly. "If you only knew how much I've agonized over that."

  Frank got a lump in his throat, just watching her, but was sure he'd done the right thing by telling her. Then the tears started drying up and a distant fire ignited in her eyes.

  "That bastard! God, I hate him!"

  Frank gulped, and looked to Dave for some help. "Just let Tony explain," was the best he could do, and Lydia wanted out immediately. She didn't want to hear another word.

  * * *

  John was in the garden when she arrived, which came as no surprise. But planting daisies? "Daisies, Dad?"

  He shrugged, smiling, and from inside the house came Betty, first praising the Lord, then having a fit. "Well, if you's don't look…."

  "Shitty?" Lydia offered, when she seemed at a loss.

  `"No, I was thinkin' skinny! Lord, child, you’s look like you's ain't had nothin' to eat in a week."

  Close, Lydia thought, and that's when John asked how his future son-in-law was? `"You don't have one, Dad," she said, and Betty started spitting and sputtering.

  "For someone who was tellin' me he was the man she was a marryin' for real, you's sure turned a back on him awful fast."

  "Oh, don't worry, Betty. I'll find another one. And he'll be real too, you'll see. Come on, I'm on a roll."

  Betty didn't think that was one bit funny, mumbling about it as she headed for the kitchen to fix something to eat for her stubborn Miss Lydia, so she could maybe start thinking straight.

  John motioned for Lydia to come sit next to him on the garden bench. "You know, she's right. You are stubborn. You always have been, even when you were a child."

  Lydia pretended to be shocked. "Does this mean you're admitting I'm grown up now?"

  John smiled, but sadly. "You're not fooling me, dear, I'm your father. You've always been this way too. When things bother you the most…."

  Lydia changed the subject. "You know, the daisies add a nice contrast. I wonder why Mom never planted any?"

  John sighed heavily. "She didn't like them. She said that once the petals dropped, they ruined a garden. That they were dingy and scentless...unlike the roses."

  Lydia glanced at him. "So why are you planting them then?"

  John stared at them for a moment. "Because they're so pretty when they're alive."

  Lydia smiled. Inside and out. That was the most positive thing she'd heard him say in well over a year and a half. But all too soon, the sweetness was gone.

  "Will tells me you won't even talk to Tony."

  "Screw Tony. And screw Reed."

  "Lydia…."

  She rose to her feet. "I'm sorry. But I didn't come here for this, so please."

  John nodded and urged her to sit back down, waiting until she did. "I'm not going to be around forever. God only knows how long, and there's something I have to tell you."

  "Dad, don't do this.”

  John squeezed her hand. "Just hear me out. I need for you to hear me out."

  "Okay, fine. But can we do it at a later date? Say maybe next year?"

  John smiled, but shook his head, and began. "I want to talk to you about giving up. About my giving up."

  Lydia rolled her eyes, still trying to get out of this. "Oh, is that all? Thank God! I was afraid we were going to get into something heavy here."

  John sighed. She was so like her mother, so very much like her. "May I go on?"

  Lydia nodded, staring at the garden and sensing what he was about to say. "I've wanted to die for some time now."

  The daisies were pink and white. Pink was her mother's favorite color.

  "I thought if I starved my self, my heart would just give out, and…."

  Lydia wanted to spare him having to tell her this. "Dad, I know. I know all of it. I know about the exercise, and I know why you were doing it out by Mom."

  "I wanted to be near her when I died."

  Lydia nodded. "I know."

  "Ironically though," John reached for his handkerchief, "all I did was get stronger. I feel good. How silly of me.”

  Lydia smiled. Doing jumping jacks had only made him healthier.

  "There I was, trying to die, and...."

  "Dad, you don't have to say anymore."

  "No, dear, I do. You see, I'd given up totally." His voice quivered. "But this past week, frightening as it was, really opened my eyes. I saw a man…Tony."

  "Dad."

  John shook his head, wanting her to understand. "A man who put his life on the line for you. A man who never hesitated to…." He choked off. "And here, all I'd been thinking about...."

  Lydia rested her head on his shoulder, biting at her bottom lip then to try to keep from crying when her father put his arm around her. "That man loves you, Lydia. He loves you."

  Tears trickled down Lydia's face. "I know. But it doesn't matter anymore, Dad, because I can't forgive him. I just can't."

  * * *

  Jan looked up from typing when Tony got off the elevator and smiled.

  "Is Will in?" he asked.

  "No, but he's due back shortly."

  Tony nodded, and as he glanced down the hall, her heart went out to him. He looked so tired, so very tired, and with the cuts on his face...

  "Do you want me to page you when he gets in?"

  Tony shook his head, smiling faintly, and turned to leave, when there on the desk, staring up at him, were Lydia' s phone messages from Greg, neatly taped to a legal pad with a list of questions below them. Jan started stammering as soon as she realized what he was looking at. She even tried stopping him when he reached for it, saying it wasn't what he thought. But he nudged her hand out of the way, reading each and every word, then laid it back on the desk and walked down the hall to leave something in Reed's office.

  Lydia arrived back at the plant shortly after this, but went straight to the conference room, where for an hour or so, she poured over the accountant's recommendations, as dismal as they were.

  "File bankruptcy?" She sat back, talking to herself. "Not until I see Bob's proposal. Back taxes and all."

  And that settled that, at least for the time being. So she phoned Sharon. "Hi! It's me!"

  "I knew it would be! Sooner or later at least!"

  Lydia chuckled. "You wanna do steaks tonight?"

  "Sure. Want me to pick 'em up?"

  "No, I'll get 'em. It'll give me something to do between now and then. I think I'll ask Jan to join us, too."

  "Sounds good to me. She told me everything that's been going on, you know. And for the record, I think you're wrong about what you're doing to Tony."

  Lydia sighed. "Oh, Sharon...not you too."

  "Hey, I call it like I see it."

  "Fine, but can you not call it tonight. Please."

  "All right, but I still think you're wrong."

  Lydia switched over to intercom when they hung up and dialed Jan. "How about steaks with me and Sharon tonight?"


  "Oh, I don't know. I'm uh….”

  "Come on, I need the company. I'm feeling kinda down."

  "You're feeling down? What about Tony? How do you think he's feeling?"

  Lydia leaned back in her chair and stared up at the ceiling. "Isn't there anyone on my side?"

  "I'm sorry, but I just think...."

  "Please." Jesus. "Just come to dinner. Okay?"

  Jan was quiet for a second. "Okay, but I want to bring something."

  "Fine, bring whatever you like."

  "I'll bring dessert."

  "Great! Oh, and by the way, did Greg call back?"

  "No, and I've tried his number several times, there's no answer."

  Lydia stared off. If only she could remember what she'd told him. Jan interrupted her thoughts. "Tony saw his mes­sages, and the list of questions too."

  Lydia refused to even acknowledge that. "I'll see you around eight." To keep herself busy for a while, she started playing a game of sorts with the accountant's figures, where pluses became minuses, losses became profits, and in the end, all in theory of course, they broke even. How nice.

  She sighed, then got up and walked over to the window to look for Tony. He was down by one of the lathes, talking to the operator, and for a moment, she just watched him, feeling sorry for herself. Sorry and lonely. Lonely for him.

  It was obviously time to go home. She took the back way through the shop, being careful to avoid where she'd seen him, and was relieved when she made it to the door, only to practically run right into him, just outside with Frank and Dave.

  "Boy, this is getting to be a habit," she said, sounding as cheerful as can be as she glanced from one to the other, which wasn't easy considering Tony was standing between them, giving her a cold stare. "People are gonna talk."

  Frank smiled. "Sorry, but we just couldn't stay away."

  Lydia returned his smile, looking right at him, but all she could see was Tony. She could see his eyes, his hair, his arms; she could even smell his cologne and hear him breathing. "So, did you find out anything?"

  Frank nodded. "I think you're onto something. Now mind you, I'm no lawyer, but one thing stood out loud and clear."

  Lydia had a hunch. "Tell me he was buying up all the debts too."

  When Frank nodded again, Lydia instinctively turned to Tony, looking into his eyes for a second before catching herself. She covered with sarcasm. "Where the hell's my wallet?"

  Tony shifted his weight and crossed his arms, glaring at her. "Under the mattress on the left side of the bed."

  Lydia glared back at him. He'd said that on purpose, because that was the side he'd slept on, reminding her. And in the awkward moment of blazing silence that followed, Frank and Dave tried to disappear.

  Lydia stopped them. "Was there anything else significant in the proposal?"

  Frank said there was, but glanced at Tony first before explaining. "A time limit on the changeover."

  "Which was?" Lydia asked.

  "Fifteen days."

  "Fifteen days? How were we supposed to do that?"

  Frank shrugged. "I don't know. But that's about it. And you didn't hear it from me."

  Lydia thanked him, saying she understood, and walked around them to get into her car. "You're not going to be following me, are you?"

  Frank smiled. "No, tonight you're on your own."

  "Good," she said and thanked him again for the informa­tion. When she pulled out, Tony started inside.

  Frank called after him. "You want to go to Finney's for a beer?"

  Tony looked back and nodded. "I've got to check on a machine first. Go on, I'll see you there."

  Lydia stopped at the market to buy the steaks, charging them to her father's account, and at home, found Sharon sitting cross-legged on the couch in front of the television, hanging on the news anchor's every word.

  "Since when are you interested in what's going on?"

  "Since I became a responsible adult. I may even vote this year. Who's running?"

  Lydia laughed and, after fixing herself a Scotch, sat down next to her. "What's new with you and Brian?"

  "Nothing. We're sort of at an impasse."

  Lydia sipped her drink, and for a moment, they were both quiet. "You're starting to show a little, you know."

  Sharon glanced down at her stomach. "I know. Isn't it neat?"

  Lydia smiled. "Yeah, and you're gonna make one hell of a mom."

  "I sure hope so," Sharon said, with her voice cracking. "Since I'll probably be all the kid has."

  Tears filled Lydia's eyes. "Come on, he or she'll have me, and that still has to be worth something."

  Sharon hugged her tightly, nodding that it was, and there was a knock on the door. It was Jan, who after one look at their faces, started crying as well.

  Frank and Dave, meanwhile, were waiting for Tony at the bar. When he finally came in, Frank kicked a chair out for him and ordered another round.

  "We were just about to give up on you."

  Tony sat down, yawning, and turned his chair sideways to stretch his legs out. "I'm good for one, then I'm out of here. I'm beat."

  He wasn't kidding either. One beer and he was putting some money on the table and standing up to leave. "The next one's on me," he said. And in came Reed, looking for him.

  "What do you mean, handing me a resignation?"

  Tony started past him. "I'll stay until you get a replace­ment, and that's it."

  Reed grabbed his arm. "I can't believe this! After every­thing you put into that place, you're going to throw it all away because...."

  Tony yanked his arm free and pushed back on him. "Because of what? Because of some woman? Is that what you were going to say? Because of some woman?"

  "Yeah!" Reed said, coming right back in his face. "Be­cause that's exactly what you're doing!"

  Tony knocked him across the table, Frank and Dave jumped up to get between them, and people started scattering. But there'd be no fight, even with Tony pulling free of Dave easily and shoving Frank out of the way to get to Reed, because all of a sudden, Tony just stopped. He had one arm drawn back and was about to throw a punch, but just stopped. Reed was wise not to push it, and Tony turned and walked out.

  Chapter Thirty

  Lydia woke a little past seven, chilled, sweating, dying of thirst, and with her period and cramps. "Oh wonderful." What a way to start the day. As a result, it was almost nine before she got herself together and arrived at the plant.

  Then there was the stairs, and Jan's news. "Greg Stewart has called twice, and yes, you are supposed to be meeting him somewhere this weekend."

  Reed came out of his office, catching the last part of that, and lit right into her. "You know, I don't think I've ever met a colder woman than you. You amaze me."

  Lydia sighed. "Gee, Reed, you wouldn't be trying to tell me something, now would you?"

  "Yes, I am. And I hope you're happy. Tony's resigned."

  Lydia just stood there a second, then started around him. "That's his choice, not mine."

  Reed stopped her. "And you don't care, do you? You don't care a bit!"

  "No," Lydia said. "I don't. Now if you'll excuse me." The next thing she knew, she was in her old office, leaning back against the door, trying to keep herself from going into a panic. Resigned? Oh Jesus...I should've known he'd do something like this. I should've known. What am I going to do?

  She walked over to the desk to phone Jan, telling her she needed to see her, and when she came in, she motioned for her to sit down. "I'm gonna go away for a few days."

  Jan nodded apprehensively. "Are you all right?"

  Lydia shook her head. "No, I don't think so. He's resigned, Jan. I may never see him again. And I'm not doing real well with that. I'm really not."

  Jan didn't know what to say. She'd never seen Lydia like this. "Where are you going?"

  Lydia stared, then realizing how much she was frightening Jan, forced some composure. "Oh, it's just some place in Arizona. Only don't tell any
one. Not Sharon, not Reed, not even my dad. I just need to get away for a while. It's called Regionaire."

  Jan reached for a pad and pen to write the name down, but Lydia stopped her. "No, don't! You'll remember."

  Jan nodded and sat back. "What kind of place is it?"

  "It's a retreat for spiritual and psychic development. I've been there before." Between school and here in fact. "I need to think this thing out with Tony, and I think maybe alone, where I don't have to act like I don't care...."

  She needn't say any more. If anyone could understand, it was Jan. "But you're never alone, you know."

  Lydia smiled, thanking her again for just being there, then it was time to go to work. "I need to talk to Philip, the banker's friend. Can you get him on the phone for me?"

  Jan nodded, and a few minutes later, Lydia was giving him just cause for heart palpitations. "You want me to do what?!"

  "I want you to come up with an investment I can get in and out of in three months."

  "And for what sum again?"

  "Half my money."

  "Have you thought of going to the racetrack?"

  Lydia laughed, and hanging up, headed for the ladies room,. She told Jan in passing that she'd be down in the confer­ence room, where she dove into the accounting again. Start to finish, in about two hours, she'd come to a conclusion.

  She buzzed Jan. "I need to talk to one of the accountants, and I need to talk to Tony and Reed. Tell them both right away. Oh, and give me Sylvia's extension." She wanted to know the current amount of Mago receivables. "Just a round figure."

  Sylvia had to check. "Three hundred and seventy thou­sand."

  "Okay." Lydia thought for a second. "Do me a favor. Call them and feel them out as to whether or not things are going along as usual. I need to know when a check's going out."

  Sylvia said she'd get right back to her, and the accountant was next. "What can I do for you?"

  "I need you to contact the IRS on my behalf to confirm the back taxes," Lydia said.

  "Why? According to our figures...."

  "I know, I saw them," Lydia said, interrupting. "Only I'm beginning to think it's all a crock."

  "Pardon me?"

  "The information we're working with. Granted, I think we're borderline, no doubt about it. But I don't know about being behind, particularly with the IRS. Why no notifica­tion?"