After the Sky Fell Down

by Nugen Isbell, Megan

  “Of course you can,” he said quietly as he continued to hold her protectively in his arms.

  He carefully reached into the dresser by his bed and pulled out one of his white undershirts. He slid it over her head till it covered her and then reached down and pulled the covers over them. She clung to him and he wrapped his arms around her, where she remained for the rest of the night.

  Chapter 47The light peeked in through the curtains, causing Kathryn’s eyes to open. When she did, she realized she was still wrapped in Jace’s arms and she could tell he was still sleeping by his long, deep breaths. She carefully wiggled out of his embrace, doing her best not to wake him. She laid his arms gently by his side and looked down at him. Even when he was sleeping she was in awe of him, of his patience, his kindness, his acceptance of all of her faults. She reached over and stroked his cheek, which was slightly rough. His eyes flickered and then opened. He stretched and smiled once he saw her looking down at him.

  “Hey,” he said, his voice raspy from the morning.

  She smiled at him, running her hands through his thick hair.

  “How’d you sleep?” he asked her, propping himself up.

  “Better than I have in a long time, thanks to you.”

  “I’m glad to hear that. You look pretty cute in my shirt, by the way,” he said grabbing the bottom of it, pulling her towards him and kissing her on the lips.

  “I’m sorry about last night,” she finally said.

  “It’s okay,” he said reassuringly.

  “I don’t know what came over me,” she said even though she knew exactly what had come over her and she was pretty sure Jace knew too.

  “Let’s not even worry about it. It still ended up being a pretty great night.”

  “Yeah, it was,” she said with a shy smile, pushing her hair behind her ear.

  “Want some breakfast?” he asked, climbing out of the bed, picking his jeans up off the floor and sliding them on.

  “Sure,” she replied.

  She followed him into the kitchen and sat down at the counter while he got to work making breakfast.

  “I hope you like French toast,” he said.

  “Love it,” she said and couldn’t take her eyes off him as he maneuvered around the kitchen shirtless, wearing only his jeans. She felt a little strange sitting around just wearing Jace’s white t-shirt, even though it hung down to her thighs. She kind of liked it though. This is what couple’s did on a casual Sunday morning.

  When he was done cooking, he set a plate of French toast in front of her, along with a bottle of syrup and a small bowl of powdered sugar. He made a plate for himself and joined her at the counter.

  “Thanks for breakfast. It’s really good,” she said taking a gooey bite.

  “No problem,” he said and then smiled over to her. “I like this.”

  “What?”

  “This. Waking up with you. Having breakfast together.”

  She felt herself blush as she swallowed her latest bite.

  “Me too,” she replied.

  “The only thing missing is Sarah,” he said, which made her smile. He really did like her daughter.

  “Yeah. Maybe next time we have breakfast together she can join us,” she said.

  When they were done, he cleared the plates and put them in the sink, and then turned to look at her. He smiled again and then walked over to her.

  “You’re adorable in the morning,” he said brushing her hair back and she blushed. “There you go again. Blushing every time I compliment you.”

  “Because I know you’re full of it,” she laughed.

  “No, I’m not,” he said, swooping in quickly for a kiss.

  “And then you go and kiss me with morning breath,” she said turning her head.

  “I don’t care,” he said kissing her again. “Your morning breath tastes sweet like the syrup.”

  “Good thing,” she laughed and then stood up and walked back to his room. He followed a few moments later. She quickly changed back into the clothes she’d lost last night and he slid a white t-shirt on.

  “I should probably get going,” she said looking over to the clock, which read 10:00. “I need to pick up Sarah from my parent’s house.”

  She couldn’t help but notice the look of disappointment on his face.

  “I wish you could stay,” he said walking to her and sliding his arms around her waist, pulling her close to him.

  “Me too,” she said, but she knew she needed to get home.

  “I’ll take you home though,” he said reluctantly, letting go of her and grabbing his keys from the nightstand.

  She followed him outside into the chilly air. There was a thin layer of frost on the windshield, which Jace quickly scraped off while Kathryn waited in the car as it warmed up and a few minutes later, they were heading back to her apartment. As they drove, he reached over and linked his fingers with hers, holding her hand the rest of the way.

  “I’ll call you later,” she said when he pulled into the parking lot of her complex.

  “Okay. I’ll see you later,” he said with a smile and then leaned in and kissed her softly on the cheek. She closed her eyes, savoring the tingle it left and then finally got out of the car. She walked to the door and turned around and waved to Jace before she opened it. He waved back and drove away once she was inside.

  She still hated coming home to an empty apartment. She still expected to see Luke, but of course, he wasn’t there. She needed to get cleaned up and go get Sarah so she went straight to the shower. She turned it on and stepped inside. She’d been cold from the chill outside and the hot water warmed her. She let it pour over her, never wanting to get out. She closed her eyes and thought back to the night before with Jace. The way he held her and touched her had awakened a part of her that had been dormant since Ben died and she was certain she had wanted to be with him. In actuality as she stood in the shower thinking back, she did want to be with him. She wanted to share that with Jace, but he…Ben…still held onto her and she couldn’t let go. She couldn’t give that part of herself to anyone but him, no matter how much she wanted to. It had just happened with Luke. She didn’t think twice about it, but she had been even more messed up then than she was now and Luke had been familiar and she had been lonely and he had seemed so much like Ben. But last night, as Jace had touched and kissed her, Kathryn’s thoughts had been focused wholly on Jace, but once the image of Ben penetrated her thoughts, she knew she couldn’t go through with it. It hurt too badly. Everything had been going so well with Jace. She thought she had reconciled her feelings, knowing she would always love Ben, but that she had to keep living, but after last night she was afraid she was wrong.

  Once she dried off, she went to her bedroom and put on a pair of sweatpants and a URI hoodie. She pulled her hair back and sat on her bed, staring around the room. Everywhere she looked were reminders of Ben. The pictures, the stuffed animals he’d given her and the jewelry she’d received from him were all glaring reminders of her life with him.They brought her comfort when she was alone and missing him. Her eyes would glance over to an object and she’d think of a happy memory with him and it was like he was with her again. She got up from the bed and walked over to her jewelry box where she took out the engagement ring he’d given her. She held it in her hands, staring at the beautiful diamond. She slipped it on her finger and looked down at it, wondering about what could have been. But then she shook her head and took it off and shut it away in the jewelry box again. As she closed the lid, she heard the front door open and she froze in fear. She was alone in the apartment. Had she forgotten to lock the door? No. She never forgot to lock the door. There were only two possible scenarios. Either she was about to be murdered by an intruder or Luke had finally come home. As she heard the familiar sound of his feet shuffling down the hall, she knew she wasn’t going to die today. She turned from the dresser and walked to the doorway just as he was passing her room. He stopped for a moment when he saw her.

  �
��Hey,” he said briefly before continuing onto his room.

  She stood there for a moment, not really able to move. Hey. Was this all she got from him? Not a word for so long and he suddenly returns and all he says is hey?

  She could hear him fiddling around in his room and she decided to go to him.

  He was sitting at his desk, staring at his computer. He looked relaxed in a pair of faded jeans and a flannel shirt. His dusty hair was its usual organized mess.

  “It’s been lonely here without you,” she said standing outside his door. He looked up at her, but didn’t smile.

  “I’m sure you’ve had other people around to keep you occupied,” he said flatly and she knew he was referring to Jace.

  “Not really,” she retorted. “And they weren’t you.”

  She heard him scoff and turned his head back to the screen, which had just booted up. He clicked on something and then he began typing.

  “I just came to get a file off my computer,” he said still staring at the monitor.

  “So you’re not staying then?”

  “Nope,” he said, still torturing her with his coldness.

  She could feel her temper starting to boil. Why was he being like this? How could he still be ignoring her? She thought for sure he’d have cooled off by now.

  “Can I help you with something?” he asked finally looking up from his computer.

  “What?” she asked confused.

  “Is there something else you need because I’ve gotta get this done.”

  She could feel her eyes brimming with tears at his harshness and she couldn’t just let it go.

  “Why are you doing this Luke?” she choked out.

  “Doing what?”

  “Why are you being so mean?”

  “I’m not.”

  “Yes, you are.”

  “I’m sorry if you think that Kathryn, but I’m just trying to get this done so I can get back to my mom and dad’s,” he said, his mouth still formed in a firm line.

  “Why do you have to go back to your parents’? Why can’t you just stay here?”

  He looked up at her again and cocked his head with a slight smirk.

  “You’re really going to ask me that?” he said sarcastically. “We both know why I can’t stay here.”

  “No. You know why, but I don’t understand.”

  “Then you’re even denser than I thought,” he said and she felt her mouth gape. “By the way, where’s Sarah?”

  Kathryn just continued to glare at him.

  “Where’s Sarah?” he repeated.

  “She spent the night at my parents,” she finally answered and he laughed lightly and looked away. “What? Why are you laughing?”

  “So you got rid of her for the night so you could spend it with him?”

  “I didn’t get rid of her,” she said defensively. “And what I did last night and who I was with is none of your business.”

  “Yeah, I’m aware of that.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked angrily.

  “Just that what you do and who you do it with is none of my business because we’re just friends. I don’t care who you’re with.”

  “If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be acting like such a jerk,” she snapped.

  “I’m not being a jerk. I’m being a realist. You forced me to become one.”

  She sighed in frustration, wanting so badly to go over and shake some sense into him.

  “So, are you moving out permanently? Or are you going to realize what an idiot you’re being about all of this?”

  “So you’re resorting to name calling now?” he smirked.

  “You started it by calling me dense.”

  “I’m sorry about that,” he said, but she couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not.

  “Well, what’s your answer? Are you moving out for good because I’d really like to know so I can make other arrangements?”

  “What other arrangements? Is Jace moving in?” he spat.

  “No, Jace is not moving in! I just need to know so I can stop wondering if you’re ever coming back. You know I can’t afford this place on my own.”

  “I know you can’t,” he said suddenly sounding like his normal, sensible self.

  “Then you can see why I need to know.”

  He paused and then sighed, leaning back in his desk chair and running his hands through his hair.

  “I don’t know Kate. I don’t know what I’m going to do,” he said, his voice thick with frustration. “I hate being back at my parent’s house. I miss it here. I miss seeing Sarah every day. I miss you,” he said, his eyes looking over to her.

  “I miss you too. That’s why you need to come home. And by home I mean here, with me and Sarah.”

  “I can’t. Why can’t you see that? Things are just too different between us now. It’s too hard to be here and pretend like it doesn’t bother me to see you with him. It kills me Kate, every time I see you together.” He shook his head and looked away and Kathryn didn’t know what to say. “I don’t want to leave you and Sarah in a lurch. I can’t do that, but I can’t do this anymore, not unless things change.”

  “And what’s supposed to change? Am I supposed to tell you I love you and run into your arms? Would that make a difference?” she asked sarcastically as their eyes met and then she turned serious. “Because…because I do love you. I love you. There, I said it. I know I love you, but I can’t love you. I can’t.” Her eyes were filling with tears. She was so tired of arguing with her own heart and mind.

  “Why not? What’s stopping you?” he asked sternly.

  “Because you’re Ben’s brother!” she shouted, finally unable to contain her frustration.

  “But I’m not Ben,” he retorted, standing up and walking closer to her. “And I know you better than anyone, including Jace, so why are you punishing me for being his brother? Why can’t you just accept me for who I am?”

  He was only standing a few feet from her now, his tall figure towering over her. Her heart was pounding because part of her wanted to go to him, to feel his arms around her, to bury her face in his chest and tell him to never let go. She wanted that familiarity, that closeness only they’d shared since Ben died, since she thought her life had been over.

  “Because you confuse the hell out of me!” she blurted out and then started rambling. “I don’t know if I have feelings for you or…or if it’s Ben because you remind me of him…because you look like him and act like him…but I know you’re not Ben because you’re so different than him too and you’ve been amazing since he died and you only think you love me because of our connection to Ben, but when you think about it, you don’t really love me and you know it because…” but her words were cut off as he moved swiftly to close the gap between them. He cupped her face in his hands and pressed his lips to hers, silencing her string of doubts. His lips were warm and soft and she felt herself melting beneath them as she kissed him back.

  “I do love you Kathryn,” he said in a low, rugged whisper as he rested his forehead against hers, still holding her face in his hands. “And it’s not because of Ben, it’s because of you. You made me fall in love with you.”

  She was crying now and she couldn’t open her eyes to look at him as he continued to hold her face. She felt him lean in for another kiss, but she pulled back before their lips could meet. His hands fell to his sides and she finally opened her eyes. He was staring back at her and even though he towered over her, he looked small.

  “I can’t Luke,” she said quietly, barely able to get any sound through the lump in her throat.

  “Because of him? Because of Jace?” Luke asked smugly.

  “Because I can’t,” she answered.

  “But you can with Jace?”

  “It’s not the same and you know it.”

  He was quiet as he continued to stare at her.

  “What? What is it?” she demanded.

  “How could you do this to Ben? How can you just forget about
him?” he finally asked angrily.

  “You think I’ve forgotten about him?”

  “Obviously you have. You’ve just moved on, like he never existed.”

  “How dare you!” she shouted, any hint of tenderness between them instantly gone. “You have no idea what you’re talking about! You don’t know what I struggle with everyday. You have no idea at all!”

  “It can’t be too hard if you’ve replaced him with Jace,” he snickered.

  “Shut… your… mouth…right…now Luke,” she said slowly between gritted teeth.

  “Do you think Ben’s watching while you’re with him? What do you think he thinks about that?” he taunted.

  As she listened to the hateful words spew from his mouth, she’d never been filled with so much anger.

  “Don’t you talk to me that way!” she seethed at him and without thinking, her hand rose up and slapped him across the face, causing his head to jerk back. He grabbed his cheek and stared at her. “I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you, but what I do with my life is my business and you need to stay out of it! You have no clue what you’re talking about,” she yelled, the tears of confusion turning to tears of anger.

  “I just think it shows what little class you have, with your fiancé being dead and all.”

  “Exactly Luke. Ben’s dead and what am I supposed to do? Should I go live in a cave or better yet, maybe I should join a convent. Would that make you happy?” she shouted at him.

  “You just need to think about what you’re doing and about what people are going to think about you.”

  “Funny thing, Luke,” she said with a sarcastic laugh through her tears. “You don’t seem to have a problem with me forgetting about Ben when it comes to you and me.”

  “That’s different.”

  “It is? How is it different?’ she demanded.

  “Because it is.”

  “No, it’s not,” she insisted.

  “Yes it is.”

  “How? Please explain your logic.”

  “Because it’s what he would want!” he shouted.

  “Don’t say that!”

  “I know it’s true and if you really think about it, you know it’s true too,” he said, his eyes boring into hers.