Brothers in Blue: The Complete Trilogy: Brothers in Blue Boxed Set - Books 1-3

by Jeanne St. James

  Then again, maybe he was right. Maybe there was nothing left to save.

  Why would he choose to deploy time after time when he probably knew it would damage his psyche? What had driven him?

  Now was not the time to figure that out. Now was the time to enjoy each other’s body. She’d worry about the rest later.

  6

  Carly reached out for the shrill alarm, whacking at it blindly. Her eyelids cracked open and she groaned. Flipping over, she shoved her face into the pillow not wanting to face the world this morning. She had another day full of appointments. Amanda Bryson being one of them.

  Bryson…

  Carly turned her head and studied the empty side of the bed. She brushed her hand over the sheets where Matt landed after rolling off her last night.

  She slid over and shoved her nose into the extra pillow. Yeah. Nothing. Smelled like laundry detergent. He hadn’t been in the bed long enough to leave his scent.

  Damn. What was she thinking? And why was she acting like a love-sick teenager by sniffing pillows? Next thing she knew she’d be scribbling her name all over her brown-paper covered school books.

  Mrs. Matt Bryson.

  Mrs. Carly Bryson.

  Doctor Carly Bryson.

  She shoved her face back into the pillow and screamed. She had to get a hold of herself. Sex. It was only sex.

  She blamed the damn “love” hormone, oxytocin. The “cuddle” hormone. It sucked in unsuspecting women all the time by making them think a bond existed between them and their sex partner.

  She was an OB/GYN, for fuck’s sake. She explained the hormone to her patients on a regular basis. Especially the ones who went through childbirth.

  She should know better than to fall into that trap.

  Coffee. She just needed some coffee. And a hot shower. Anything to clear her mind of the images of Matt rising above her, thrusting hard and fast into her while she begged him for more.

  The distinct smell of brewing coffee hit her. She listened carefully and heard someone moving around downstairs.

  She pushed herself up and out of the bed, shaking out her stiff muscles. Damn, she hardly ever slept naked. But here she was, bare-assed as the day she was born. She grabbed her black silk robe from the back of the bedroom door and wrapped it around her, giving the belt a good yank. Then she headed downstairs, the smell of the fresh brew calling her like the Pied Piper and she the naïve rat.

  She stopped short at the entrance to the kitchen simply to appreciate the view. Matt wore a loose pair of black BDU pants and nothing else. The waist hung low enough to make her swallow a moan. Seeing the dimples directly above his ass left no doubt he went commando under those pants.

  She wondered why he woke so early since he didn’t have to work until the afternoon shift.

  When he reached up into a cabinet to pull out a travel mug and his pants dropped a little lower, she hissed.

  He spun to face her. Well, now that she’d blown her cover, she might as well ask. “Up early. I would think working the second shift would allow you to catch up on some beauty sleep,” she said as she moved into the room, trying to appear casual and not sexually depraved. She brushed past him to grab a mug and headed over to the glorious coffee pot.

  She kept her back to him as she poured the suspiciously dark coffee into her mug. Sniffing, she wrinkled her nose. Yikes. It smelled like a toxic brew.

  She took a careful sip. Yep, that stuff would eat away your stomach lining. She moved to the fridge and added enough creamer to turn the coffee a light tan.

  When she closed the fridge, she started. He had moved quietly to stand behind the open door.

  “Cat got your tongue?” she asked him and sipped again at the coffee. Nope, still awful. “Damn, this needs a bunch of sugar.”

  He needed to stop staring at her and actually blink. He was freaking her out.

  Trying to ignore his odd behavior, she dug in the cabinet and pulled out a plastic container full of sugar. After finding a spoon, she added the white granules until the toxic sludge became somewhat drinkable.

  She sipped again, then froze as he stepped in front of her. So close he invaded her personal space. Her instinct was to step back though she refused to show him any signs of weakness. Instead she just looked up into his face, which appeared quiet, expressionless, unreadable.

  “What’s under the robe?”

  Carly arched an eyebrow. She hardly expected that to be his first words this morning. “Just me.” She gave him a slight smile and took another sip of coffee. “I realize you like your coffee strong, but this is just a sin.”

  His eyes darkened and his jaw tightened. “What do you know about sin?”

  Carly frowned at the sudden switch. “Matt…”

  He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts and finally moved away to fill up his mug. “Sorry. Let’s forget I said that and get back to the subject of your robe.”

  “My robe isn’t that exciting.”

  “It’s not the robe I’m interested in.”

  “Ah. You didn’t get enough last night?”

  “Did you?” he asked, still facing the coffee maker.

  Touché. “No.”

  He turned then and leaned back against the counter, his mug clutched in both hands. “How much time do you have?”

  Carly glanced at the clock on the stove. “Not enough.”

  “I can be quick.”

  “No woman wants to hear that.”

  He chuckled. He actually chuckled. Carly smiled at the sound and the sudden relaxed expression on his face that the laugh brought with it.

  He shook his head and walked toward the back of the house. Most likely to go retreat into his tent. “Go to work, Carly. Before I make you late.”

  “Can I take the Buick?” she yelled out.

  “It’s yours until you get another vehicle.”

  “You know, sometimes you can be a thoughtful asshole,” she shouted.

  Then the back door slammed.

  “How’s the baby?” Carly asked Amanda as the woman put her feet into the stirrups.

  “Really, Doc? You’re going to have a conversation with me when you’re wearing a mining light and inspecting my cooch?”

  “Yeah, why not?”

  Amanda laughed and scooted toward the end of the exam table. “Hannah is fine. Though making Max jealous because my boobs belong to her right now.”

  “She’s nursing well?”

  “Oh yeah.”

  “How do you feel?”

  “Tired,” Amanda answered, sounding it.

  “That’s to be expected.”

  “I have a feeling I’ll be tired for the next eighteen years.”

  Carly was tempted to tell her to not complain. Some women longed to have a child and didn’t get the chance. Amanda was lucky to be able to get pregnant and have a healthy baby girl.

  Not to mention, she was lucky to have a handsome husband too.

  Carly ducked her head and did the exam.

  “So, will everything go back to normal down there, Doc?” Amanda asked.

  “Is that why you made the appointment a month sooner than you should have? I told you that you didn’t have to see me until six weeks after the baby was born.”

  “I know, but you know… I got a little worried and Max told me just to make an appointment to alleviate my fears.”

  “Well, just so you know, it’ll never be the same again.”

  Amanda slammed her palm on the table. “See? I told Max that!”

  Carly picked her head up, turned off her light, and straightened. “You can slide back now. You’re fine. You’ll be fine. I’m only screwing with you.”

  Amanda looked relieved. “I just didn’t want having a baby to affect our sex life. It’s so freaking awesome.”

  Carly laughed. “Oh, it will affect your sex life, just not in the way you’re thinking.”

  “Yeah, however that’s what’s nice about having Max’s family so close. Lots of babysitters. You g
otta remember, Greg lives with us too. We learned to get creative.”

  Carly had met Greg, Amanda’s intellectually disabled brother, a few times during her pre-natal visits. With the baby, the woman would have her hands full.

  “Speaking of family…” Amanda began.

  Uh oh.

  “I heard you moved into my old house with Matt.”

  So maybe her reason for making the unnecessary appointment was really an excuse to be nosy. Maybe she was doing recon for the family. Carly ripped off her gloves with a snap and threw them into the waste can. “I moved in, but not with Matt.”

  “Yeah, okay. Semantics. However, you’re right. He’s living in that damn tent in the backyard which is not only an eyesore, it’s killing off the grass. You two must have hit it off right away.”

  Carly jotted some notes in Amanda’s file, avoiding the woman’s inquiring gaze. “It’s not like that. I’m just renting a room,” she murmured, pretending to concentrate on her report.

  His family did not need to know they were having sex. Or had sex, more like it. Having meant it would continue.

  Amanda sat up on the table, pulling her paper gown tighter around her. “That’s good, that man has issues. I love him like a brother, however he’s a bit off his rocker.”

  “From the war,” Carly murmured.

  “Yeah. First of all, anyone who volunteers to keep going back is crazy in the head anyway, but being over there made it worse. You know he’s got PTSD, right?”

  “I figured.”

  “Just be careful,” she warned.

  “Why? Do you think he’s dangerous?” Carly tried to keep the surprise out of her voice.

  Amanda chewed on her bottom lip, a serious look on her face. “I don’t know. He’s only been home for six months. I don’t know him well enough. I mean, Max did allow him back on the force.” She shrugged. “Although he’s on probation for another six months. And Max insists he go to counseling.”

  “Is he actually going?”

  “I’m not sure. If he isn’t, Max will be pissed.”

  “It was probably a good idea,” Carly murmured, then chewed on the end of her pen.

  “Yeah, my husband can be smart sometimes. Though, please don’t tell him I said that,” Amanda said, her eyes twinkling.

  “I’ll keep your secret. Now, I’ll leave you to get dressed. You’re leaking.”

  Amanda looked down at the two wet spots on her paper gown. “Holy hell. I’ve turned into a damn milk cow.”

  Someone had the garage blocked. Carly sighed and parked alongside the driveway in the grass instead. She didn’t recognize the car, but most likely she wouldn’t unless it was Matt’s SUV.

  She hit the garage door opener before getting out, since she never carried her house key, and entered the house through the garage, listening for voices. Sounds of movement came from the direction of the kitchen, so she headed that direction. Then she heard it. The joyful humming.

  That definitely crossed Matt off the list of possible people in the house.

  She peeked into the kitchen and saw Mary Ann, Matt’s mother. Shit!

  Before Carly could back away quietly, Mary Ann turned, spotted her, and screamed, her hand coming to her heart. When the scream died, her mouth continued to hang open.

  Double shit.

  Carly was just as surprised to see Mary Ann in the house as Matt’s mother was to see her. She doubted Matt would have told his mother that she had moved in. He didn’t seem the type to over share with his parents.

  “Doctor Stephens! You scared me. I didn’t expect anyone to be here since Matt’s working.”

  “Sorry. I didn’t realize you had a key to the house.”

  “I don’t,” she said, then blushed. “Okay, I do, but don’t tell Matt. Amanda made a copy for me. He’d kill me if he knew.”

  “I doubt he’d kill you,” Carly assured her.

  “What are you doing here?” Mary Ann asked, with a sudden curious expression.

  “I was about to ask you the same question.”

  Carly watched Mary Ann’s wheels turning and groaned silently. The woman was putting two and two together.

  “Have you been seeing each other?” The joy in possibly finding Matt a mate lit up his mother’s eyes.

  Oh brother. She needed to get this cleared up and quickly. “No,” Carly’s voice broke and she cleared it, trying to stay calm. “No, Mrs. Bryson, it’s nothing like that—”

  “Oh, call me Mary Ann, dear.”

  Carly half expected her to dance a little jig across the kitchen. “Mary Ann, then. And please call me Carly. No, I’m only renting a room. That’s all.”

  Her face dropped, and Carly actually felt guilty for breaking her bubble. Damn it.

  Carly took in the bags of groceries littering the counter. “You do his shopping?”

  “I stock his fridge when he’s not home.”

  “But he doesn’t know you have a key?”

  “No.”

  Carly arched an eyebrow. “So… Does he think the grocery fairies come to restock the fridge and pantry?”

  Mary Ann opened her mouth and then shut it with a snap. “Oh boy. You’re right. How stupid am I?”

  Yikes. Now Carly felt even worse. “You’re not stupid. You love your son and want to help him like any great mother would. It’s a sweet thing you’re doing.”

  Mary Ann’s spirits seemed to lift a bit and she went back to unpacking the groceries. Carly helped. Plus, being hungry, she wanted to see if Mary Ann brought anything good. Whatever she ate, she’d replace as soon as she got the chance.

  She found a jar of peanut butter, some jelly, and a fresh loaf of bread.

  “What are you doing?” Mary Ann asked.

  Heat crawled up Carly’s neck. “Making a sandwich. I’ll buy him some more.”

  “Oh no, you are not making a sandwich.” She waved a finger at Carly. “I’ve got something better.” Mary Ann quickly moved to the fridge and pulled out what looked like a homemade casserole. “I made him some lasagna.”

  Yeah, there was no doubt Matt knew his mother had a key to the house. Homemade dishes just didn’t appear out of thin air. And burglars didn’t break it to leave food. If they did, Matt probably had the skills to make booby traps to foil intruders. If not take them out efficiently and painlessly.

  Her mouth watered at the sight of the lasagna. It was a better choice than a PB and J sandwich. A million times better.

  “Let me warm some up for you.”

  Carly wasn’t going to argue. She had to admit she was beginning to fall in love with Matt’s mother. Especially when the delicious smell of the lasagna getting hot and melty hit her.

  She helped Mary Ann unpack the rest of the groceries while she waited for her meal. After a few minutes, they were done and so was the food.

  Mary Ann insisted she sit down at the table so she could serve her, and Carly decided not to fight it. Her mother had never been a good cook. Mary Ann’s lasagna looked and smelled delectable.

  The first bite was so hot it burned Carly’s mouth, but she didn’t care. Her eyes rolled in ecstasy. Mary Ann sat across the table from her, watching, while Carly took bite after bite. She didn’t even want to slow down to wipe sauce off her mouth.

  “Mmm. Mary Ann, that is heaven. Pure heaven. You can sneak in here any time and bring food. Hell, I’ll leave the door open.”

  Matt’s mother giggled and blushed. “You should taste my famous shoo-fly pie.”

  Carly winced before she could stop herself. Ugh. She hated shoo-fly pie. “What else ya got?”

  Mary Ann frowned, her brows pinning as if shocked that someone didn’t actually like that excuse for a pie. “No? You don’t like shoo-fly?”

  “No. Not my thing.” Carly shoved another forkful of lasagna in her own pie hole. It just wasn’t a shoo-fly pie hole.

  “Weeeell, I make a great pecan pie with chocolate and bourbon…”

  Carly gave her a great big smile even though her mouth was f
ull of pasta and yummy melted cheese. She pointed her fork at the older woman. “Now you’re talking, lady.”

  Mary Ann smiled back. “Oh, I’ll have to make one for Ron too. That man loves my desserts.”

  One day Carly hoped to have a solid relationship and eternal love like the two of them had. Maybe one day…

  “So tell me,” Mary Ann lowered her voice to a whisper and leaned in, as if worried someone eavesdropped. “Has he been sleeping in the house?”

  Carly shook her head. “I’ve only been here a couple days, but he heads to the tent every night.”

  A sad look overtook his mother’s face. “Who lives in a tent when there’s a perfectly good house to live in?”

  “Someone who’s stuck in their own head, that’s who,” Carly answered, trying not to spit her food across the table.

  “You’re a doctor. Can you help him?”

  Carly tried not to choke and quickly swallowed down the last bite of lasagna she had in her mouth. She placed her fork carefully on her now empty plate.

  “Thank you for dinner, Mary Ann.” She cleared her throat. “But I don’t think I’m the type of doctor he needs.”

  “Maybe you know a good one who can help him,” she insisted.

  Carly understood how desperate Matt’s mother was to help her son. But from what Amanda said today, he was already supposed to be seeing a doctor or therapist of some sort. Hopefully someone who understood PTSD. Maybe someone actually recommended by the VA.

  She was an OB/GYN, she could help him with STDs, not cognitive-behavioral therapy. “Is he on any type of meds?”

  Mary Ann shook her head. “I honestly don’t know. He won’t talk about it.”

  Carly really felt for her. His mother’s pain was obvious. The woman only wanted the best for her son. “Are you seeing a therapist yourself?”

  Mary Ann looked at her in surprise. “Me? For what?”

  Well, there was Carly’s answer. That was a big fat no. “Sometimes it helps for loved ones to talk about the struggles dealing with a family member suffering with a disorder. You need to take care of yourself first if you want to help him.”

  Mary Ann made a noise and waved her hand. “I’m perfectly fine. I have a new grandbaby and Marc’s about to get married. Finding a good woman would probably help Matt out of his funk.”