The Moment Everything Changed (Lucy's Life #1)

by Michelle Heron

  Why am I even here? I pack up my stuff and brush past him. Mrs. Jang calls out to me but I'm already half way out the door so I just keep walking. If it's important enough she'll come, get me.

  I need some fresh air but end up at the smoking section. This smoking section has suddenly become the place I go to get away. No one seems to be around so I sit down on the curb and just stare off into nowhere.

  How can I keep living this life? No one's ever going to want me. Max has made sure of that. He's probably damaged me beyond repair. Tears are streaking my face but I'm alone so I don't wipe them away.

  I'm not sure how long I'm sitting here before I hear yelling. Quickly wiping my face, I turn around to see where the sounds coming from but there's no one there.

  Where's it coming from? I'm walking back towards the front doors when a chair comes flying through the stairwell window. What the fuck? I jump back away from the broken glass. I can't see who's fighting, all I can tell is it's two guys.

  That's when two cop cars come rushing in. Shit it's getting real. I back away so I’m not in anyone’s way.

  Chapter Fifteen

  That night when I get home from school I see Britney up ahead yelling at someone. I can only imagine she’s arguing with mom.

  What's going on now? I wander to our unit where I see mom and Max in the door way. That's what's going on...Britney hates Max as much as I do and refuses to be around him.

  "I hate you." I hear my sister yell as I approach.

  "What's going on?" I question my sister.

  "What's not going on?" Britney snaps. "Can you believe she still brings him around after everything." My sister continues to yell.

  I'm confused. What is she doing? I look between my sister and my mom.

  I'm torn about what to do. I honestly don't feel comfortable taking anyone's side. "I can't deal with this again." I move past my sister. I've got to get away.

  My hearts racing in my chest as I head around the corner. "You'll be sorry that's for sure." I hear my sister threaten. "Lucy." I hear my sister calling out.

  I'll never out run her. I panic. I just can't handle the stress of this right now. I duck around the side of the townhouses and see a dark cut out in the near distance.

  Maybe I can hide there? I run over and sure enough it's low enough for me to climb up. Climbing up on to the brick I move a little too quickly and manage to scrap my hands.

  Fuck that hurts. I look down at my hands. Little beads of blood are pooling in spots. It's not that bad. I hear Britney approaching so I duck further into the dark. "Lucy?" Britney calls out again.

  She's practically right in front of me but I don't call out to her. I watch as she looks up and down the street for me. Mere seconds pass before she walks away.

  I take a few deep breaths and then step down. Walking to the edge of the parking lot I see my sister is long gone but there's no way I'm going home just yet.

  I walk back to the hiding spot and slowly climb up this time. Looking down at my hands I see the cuts aren't that bad.

  Reaching for my back pack I dig out my Walkman. Maybe I'll just sit here for a little while so things can cool down. It's not like it gets dark for some time anyway.

  Leaning my head against the brick I wince as it touches the scar on the back of my head. Annoyed I throw up the hood on my sweater. Once again I relax against the brick wall.

  I'm distracted with my music when suddenly I begin remembering the last time mom and my sister got into a big fight like this.

  It was a couple of years ago now...I remember suddenly everyone was fighting and my family went to live with my mom's best friend, who also happened to be my piano teacher at the time.

  I remember we lived with her and her two kids for some time but my memories a little fuzzy. I don't remember too much though.

  I remember that’s around the time we moved into this complex. That was the summer I met Tonya and Cliff...

  A few hours pass before my batteries start to drain. Do I really, need to go home? I feel tears threatening. Why does this keep happening to us? Why can't thing's just be easier? I'm sick of feeling this way.

  I slip my headphones off and let them rest around my neck. Reaching back for my backpack I put it on and climb back down. Fixing my hoodie, I walk back to our unit with my head down.

  A couple of the neighbors are out and I swear I can feel all their eyes on me as I walk past.

  Opening my front door, I step inside. Mom's on the couch clearly annoyed and Max is standing in the kitchen. Not wanting to get in the way of anything or be questioned I go upstairs to my room.

  I can't help but feel like something bad' s about to happen. My hands are shaking and my chest hurts.

  Where am, I going to end up this time?

  Maybe an hour or so later I'm up in my room when I hear banging on our front door. Who could that be? I jump up on to my bed and throw open my window. I hear the neighbor kids yelling cops.

  Cops? What did Britney do? I hear my mom open the front door. From the window, I can hear someone talking but I can't make out what's being said.

  I push my window closed and sit on my bed. I must just be hearing things. Why would Britney send the cops here? Unless something's been happening to her too? I begin to cry. I don't know how much more of this I can take.

  I hear movement in the hallway. Someone's coming. Then my door opens and I hold my breath...It's Mom. "Lucy your needed downstairs." She says with a shaky voice.

  "What's going?" I ask nervously.

  "Just go downstairs please." She says in a dull voice.

  "Okay?" I stand up.

  Walking by her I pull the sleeves of my hoodie down over my hands. My mom's following me but doesn't say a word. I'm standing at the top of the steep stairwell looking down.

  The air seems thin and I feel like I'm about to fall. That's when I see two police officers cuff Max.

  The air feels like it’s been stolen from my lungs. I didn't say anything I want to scream. Please don't hurt them...I look back at my mom who suddenly seems broken.

  It’s just like the last time. I look back to see the officers leading him away.

  Where are, they taking him? Are we going too? Did we do something wrong? I need to sit down. My mom slips by me and starts down the stairs. I can't move.

  What do I do? Are they going to ask me questions? What did Britney tell them? "Lucy?" The officer says looking up at me.

  "That's me." I croak. "Am I in trouble?" I question almost breaking down.

  "No you’re not in trouble we just need to ask you a few questions." The officer continues.

  "Do I have to?" I ask.

  "I'm sorry but you do." The officer says sternly.

  "Okay." I make my way downstairs and cross the living room.

  My little brothers are across the room playing with their toys like the nothing's wrong.

  Sitting down on the couch I see another officer, a male officer talking to Ray. As I approach I can tell he's in defensive mode. His body language is screaming help me but I don't know what to do.

  I sit down beside him and tuck myself into a ball. The two officers whisper something to each other as Ray and I sit there uncomfortable.

  "Can someone tell us what's going on?" I question. "Is my sister okay?" I inquire.

  "Your sister is the one who called us." The officer says. "She had some concerns about you guys with your mom's boyfriend Max." He says referencing his notes.

  Shit do they know? I'm trying to hide how nervous I am. I barely look over my shoulder at Ray who seems just as afraid as I am. The officers begin to talk but I can't focus on what they're telling us. My thoughts are reeling.

  How do I tell them what's going on? Especially with Ray here? I don't even know how to describe what happens.

  I'm brought back to the first night I told Max I'd tell on him. I see his imagine in my mind, "no one will believe you Lucy. If you tell your mom she will send you away again." A tear’s about to escape but I can't show a
ny sign of weakness. The cops will know.

  They're asking my brother questions but I'm still not able to process what they're saying. That's when I hear my brother's voice clear as day. "He never did anything to either one of us officer I would have known." He says defensively.

  "Lucy is this true?" The officer questions.

  What do I say? "Is Max going to jail?" I question.

  "We don't have all the facts yet." The male officer says.

  "But once you do will he be locked up?" I ask.

  "We're not sure yet." He continues. "Can you please answer the question?" The officer presses.

  "She doesn't need to answer I already told you he didn't touch my sister I would have known." He says becoming angry.

  I knew if I said anything now it would destroy Ray and I still couldn't risk The Bernstein's safety without knowing what was going to happen. What choice do I have? If he gets thrown into jail, I'll come forward. "Nothing happened." I lie not meeting their eyes.

  I was sure I looked guilty and that they'd maybe ask Ray to leave so that could talk to them in private but they didn't. "Are you sure?" The male officer snaps.

  His deep voice sends chills through my body and I cringed. "I'm sure." I say.

  The officers seem satisfied with my response. They moved around the rest of the house talking to each other.

  ****

  It's the last day of school. After everything that's happened over the last little while I’ve got mixed emotions about today. I just can't keep seeing Bobbie every day without being hurt.

  Maybe over the summer break things will blow over and he'll think my feelings have gone away. Who knows maybe by then they will be. Maybe things can then go back to the way they were.

  The downside to summer break was that Octavia and her family had a summer vacation planned so I wouldn’t see her all summer.

  Ever since the cops showed up at our house Max hasn't been allowed back. The cops made sure of that, which I was great full for.

  All day everyone is hugging and wishing each other well. I hear people all around me saying "enjoy your summer" and it's honestly starting to get on my nerves.

  We're in family studies just sitting around doing nothing. I'm sitting with Octavia, Kira and Tori. Bobbie's sitting across the room in his group which consists of Cliff and Sunny D. Two guys that can't believe Bobbie turned me down.

  "Are you listening to a thing we're saying Lucy?" Kira asks.

  "No sorry." I tuck a piece of my hair behind my ear. "What's going on?" I question trying to pay attention.

  "Yeah what's going on Lucy?" Tori asks.

  "Nothing...I've just got a lot on my mind." I offer shyly.

  "Bobbie again?" Kira returns rolling her eyes.

  "And other things." I offer but I'm not about to tell them anything.

  "How come your over him one minute and then like this the next?" She accuses eyeing me.

  "I don't know okay." I get off the desk where we're sitting.

  "She's in love with him Kira can't you see that?" Octavia says coming to my defense.

  "They weren't even dating." She returns.

  "Does that even matter?" Octavia questions.

  "Of course it does. You can't fall in love with someone until you get to know them. You guys never went out or anything so I don't see what's the big deal." She goes on.

  "The big deal is I did know him." I snap. Or at least I thought I did. I look back his way to see Megan approach him. Bitch.

  "What's wrong?" Octavia asks then turns to see what I'm looking at.

  "I'm sorry Lucy." She rubs my arm but I'm mad.

  Megan barely talks to him more than a minute before she begins to walk away. When Bobbie think’s no one is looking, he watches her.

  That's the last straw. I pull away from Octavia and begin to cross the room. He doesn't get to end the school year without giving me some kind of explanation. I need some closure or this will drive me crazy all summer.

  I may have ruined everything but he owes me something...Doesn’t he?

  I'm walking across the room. I can see people watching me but I don't care. I think by now almost everyone in this class knows what happened between Bobbie and I.

  I make it to Bobbie's table and he's barely looking at me. I know he's sitting there hoping I'll get scared off and leave him alone but I'm done with that. I pull out the seat across from him as he looks up at me. His face is beat red and his hands are trembling.

  Suddenly I’m feeling like this might be a mistake but I’ve come too far to back out now. I'm not ending the school year without knowing why?

  Sitting down in front of him, I swear the class is silent as they watch. "You know I think we're in a really shitty place right now and I get it if you’re interested in someone else…” My voice begins to waver. “But shutting me out like this…making me feel like it's my fault just isn't fair. I'm not sorry I put it out there, I needed to know how you felt...”

  I wait for some, kind of response. I'm desperately searching his face for something…but there’s nothing. This isn’t working the way I had envisioned… “The moment I said it I wished I hadn't…I wish I could take it back and we could stay friends…" I’m still holding onto hope. "But then you go and act like this...” I gesture between us. “I thought after everything we could at least be mature about things.” Still nothing. “I can push everything aside…can you?" No response.

  Before I break down I get up and walk out of the classroom. I make it around the corner. I’m an emotional wreck but I’m still secretly hoping Bobbie will see what he's missing and come after me. But it was foolish thinking. He never came.

  What did I expect though? No one wanted me, not my mother, not my father and certainly not Bobbie. So, where does that leave me...? Alone, that's where.

  I manage to get through my spare period alone. I wasn't going to chance stopping at the AR room so I sat outside instead. Breathing in the air I couldn't help but feel like something was going to happen over the summer that would prevent me from being at this school next year.

  I had this sinking feeling that after today I might not see Bobbie ever again. I sigh with heavy emotion. At least I was strong enough to put myself out there. At least I expressed how I felt.

  I'm sitting outside waiting for Octavia. I’m spending the night the night because come Saturday she’ll be gone for the practically the entire summer.

  Over my shoulder I happen to catch sight of Bobbie's black hoodie and slow walk. He's the last person I want to see right now...unless he's come to his senses. I can't bear to look at him so if he wants my attention he'll have to come to me.

  I'm nervously waiting to see what he’s going to do but he totally avoids me. Instead of walking in front of me, he sneaks by behind my back.

  I turn to see him walking towards his smoking section. I guess that's it then? Goodbye Bobbie.

  ****

  “That was a bold move this afternoon with Bobbie.” Octavia says bringing me something cold to drink.

  “Didn’t do any good though.” I say taking the drink from her.

  “What did you plan on getting out of that anyway?” She asks sitting on her bed beside me.

  “I thought maybe I could wipe the slate clean or something.”

  “You know when you walked out of the room he kind of just sat there. It almost looked like he was unable to move or something.”

  “Really?” Now I felt even worse. I was mad and confused but maybe I over reacted a little?

  “I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself…" Octavia smiles.

  "Thanks." I fake a smile.

  “Can you believe we survived our first year of high school?” She beams.

  “At least you did.” I chuckle.

  “Oh come on, heart break is what high school’s all about right?”

  “I guess…It’s going to suck not having you around all summer.” I say looking over at her.

  “I know but it’s only fourteen weeks.” She of
fers.

  “Summer is fourteen weeks?” I question.

  “Yeah.”

  “Oh my god. What am I going to do for that long?” I question falling over on her bed. “Your family seriously needs to adopt me Octavia.” I say smiling.

  “I wish.” She lays down beside me.

  “What’s wrong with me Octavia?” I ask looking over at her.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Why don’t the right type of guys like me?” I ask.

  “They will Lucy.” She reassures me.

  “I hope so…I’m just so afraid I’ll end up alone…I just want someone to love me…Anyone really.” A tear rolls across my face.

  “I love you.” She reaches out to me.

  “I know you do, but I mean like for real. Like you and Sunny D.”

  “I never said I was in love with Sunny D.” She returns.

  “Well even if you aren’t…but you so are. You know what I mean.” I sit up. “I want a real relationship. I’m tired of being boring Lucy.”

  “You’re not boring Lucy.” Octavia says sitting up beside me.

  “I’m totally boring. Look at my clothes. Boring.” I gesture to the plain tee and shorts.

  “I’ve been going through my closet lately and I’ve come across a lot of outfits I don’t really wear that I think you’d like, if you’re finally interested.” Octavia offers.

  “Like anything you have in that closet would even fit me. You’re like a size zero.” I return.

  “I am not…" She smiles. "But thank you. I’ve got a whole stack of things you can wear. Can I at least show you what I’ve got?” Octavia asks opening her closet.

  “Fine…But there’s one thing you can do for me.” I say looking at my appearance in the mirror.

  “Which is?” Octavia questions.

  “Cut my hair.”