Absence of Faith

by Anthony S. Policastro

  "Oh, well, let’s hope that doesn’t happen," Linda said turning to Carson.

  "I know it would be horrible. I hoping to work in New York someday for The Daily News or the Times," Julie added.

  "Lots of luck with that," Linda said not realizing the sarcasm that flowed with her words.

  Julie turned and stared out at the calm sea.

  "You work with Dr. Hansen," Gary asked Carson.

  "No. We just work in the same hospital. I'm a neurologist," Carson replied. "How do you know Dr. Hansen?"

  "He's my uncle," Gary said.

  "He's a nice guy," Carson said.

  Julie turned towards Linda.

  "So when's the big day?"

  "June," Julie said.

  "Congratulations, again," Carson said.

  "You’re getting married?" said a dark-haired woman sitting across from Julie.

  The woman moved her chair closer and the trio began to talk of Julie's wedding plans. Carson found he had to concentrate to hear Gary.

  "Do you think you'll want to work at Riverdale?" Gary asked Carson.

  "I don't know. I like Ocean Village. The hospital is small and everyone knows everyone. The hospital needs more neurologists and we live only a few minutes away," Carson explained. "I can walk to work if I want."

  "But, they're not very progressive and they have no research facilities. If you want to advance in your career quickly, I would move on if I were you," Gary said. "I can help you get into Riverdale."

  "Yeah, you're right about that, but I just started there and I’m not ready to move yet. Thanks for the offer," Carson said. He took a sip from his long tapered glass filled with dark beer.

  "Have you ever had any cases involving people with near-death experiences?" Carson directed at Gary.

  "Strange you should ask. We haven’t had one in years; now they are becoming quite frequent. We had one last week."

  "Did any ever come back with their skin burned?"

  "What are you talking about?"

  "Just what I said. Did any come back with burned skin?" Carson said.

  "Not that I know of. Did you have case like that?"

  "Two," Carson replied.

  "Two! What were the symptoms?" Gary said.

  "No vitals, a near death experience, hysteria, and the burned skin. The burn is like first-degree sunburn and heals in about seven days without scarring. The blood tests clean, the symptoms disappear and there are no after effects or reoccurrences that we know of," Carson explained.

  "You know, we had a case like that about a month ago," said a sandy blonde man sitting across from Carson. "Same symptoms - a near death experience..."

  "Near death experiences...I interviewed a woman once who had one," Julie cut in. "It made the national wires."

  "What about your case?" Linda said to the sandy blonde man.

  "Ours was similar - burned skin, mental depression and no trace of toxins. Now that I think of it, the patient was from Ocean Village. By the way, I'm Stephen Ventrilli," the sandy haired man said.

  "Nice to meet you. When did this happen?" Carson asked.

  "About two months ago."

  "You think I can have a look at the records. We have a similar case right now - an older woman who blacked out while driving. Maybe, it's related..."

  "Sure, call me on Monday and ask me about the Hellfire Syndrome," Stephen said. "Let me give you my card." He pulled out his wallet and searched. "Honey, do you have one of my cards? I’ve run out."

  A tall slender woman with shoulder-length black hair and wearing a water blue, satiny dress opened a small, black purse and pulled out a business card.

  "Oh, this is my wife, Ginny," Stephen said to the small crowd. He looked at Ginny's blue eyes and smiled. "I knew you would come through. You always do."

  "You're welcome," she said handing him the card.

  "Hellfire Syndrome?" Carson asked.

  "That's what we call it because the patient woke up screaming his head off about going to hell and burning. HFS for short. It was probably a mental reaction to the burnt skin. We're still puzzled about what caused the burns. The patient fell down his basement stairs - thought he was already at the bottom of the stairs when he took the plunge. Luckily, he was carrying a basket of clothes and it somehow got around his head and cushioned his skull as he tumbled down, otherwise, I think he would have ended up in the morgue. A neighbor found him. We think he might have spilled something on his skin when he hit the basement floor, but the paramedics said there was nothing."

  "You said you had two cases?" Gary said.

  "Yeah, I did. The other case was me," Carson said.

  "YOU!" Gary said.

  "You?" Stephen said.

  "Tell us about it!" Julie added.

  Carson told the story. His face brightened when he told how Linda rescued him from the sinking car.

  "I just did what I had to do to," Linda added. "I really didn't think about it. I just knew I had to get us out of the car and fast."

  "What do you really think?" Julie asked Carson. "Did you really go to hell and back?"

  "At first I thought so. It was so real, but now I think it was a nightmare. Something triggered the experience in my head. The burnt skin...well, I'm as puzzled as Stephen," Carson explained.

  "How do you explain three people having the same nightmare?" Julie asked.

  "I don't know. Whatever caused it might have affected the same area in the brain producing the same experience," Carson said.

  "Wouldn't you all have different nightmares? I don't know any two people who have had the same dreams. Maybe, you really died and went to hell and back," Julie argued.

  "Anything is possible. But, I'd put my money on a medical explanation," Carson said.

  "So you can't prove what happened one way or another?" Julie asked.

  "Right now we can't, but I believe we will eventually," Carson said.

  "The same nightmare is possible, Julie," Stephen explained. "Especially since our patient was from Ocean Village. Ocean Village is a highly religious community, and one of the greatest fears would be to go to hell. It's probably discussed every week in church, and stays on people's minds quite of bit, don't you think? That would explain the three people having the same nightmare. Perhaps, they feel guilty about something and HFS just brought it out. You know, people interpret things the same way by association. Since each patient was burned, saw something they thought was fire, and experienced falling down, they logically associated it with hell. For example, if I said murdered wife, jealous husband, missing lover what conclusion do you draw?"

  "The husband killed her and the lover when he caught them in bed, and got rid of the lover's body," Julie answered.

  "Is that what everyone else thought?" Stephen asked.

  Everyone looked at each other and shook their heads.

  "Well, it's the same with the Hellfire Syndrome. Whatever is causing these similar reactions is causing the patients to draw the same conclusions about their experience," Stephen explained.

  Carson moved closer to the group.

  "I'm not highly religious and I don't think about going to hell all the time," Carson said. "I had the same experience as the others including the burned skin. How do you explain that?"

  Linda perked up.

  "You can explain it anyway you like, but I think it's all true. I think Carson and the others really went to hell," Linda added. "I've read about near death experiences and everyone says the same thing - about going up into a great and peaceful light to heaven. Carson and the others said they went down through a dark tunnel. They had negative near death experiences and went to hell."

  "Now you're going beyond my field. Can I get anyone a drink?" Gary asked and stood up.

  He took several orders and vanished into the white food tent nearby.

  Linda's face turned into a scowl and Carson looked searchingly at his wife.

  "But, you're saying if!" Stephen said. "If there's a heaven, there's also a hell. We don't know
if either exists. I can document my theory with proven cases in psychology. I proved it to all of you tonight with a few words and everyone drew the same conclusion!"

  "I just believe there is a spiritual realm, a life after death, and some things cannot be explained away by medical research or scientific facts," Linda said moving to the edge of her chair.

  Suddenly her eyes rolled and her limp body rolled off the wicker chair, her face was buried in the thick, grassy blades of the lawn. Carson rushed to her as did the other doctors and checked her breathing and pulse. It was as if they were all in the emergency room again. Linda awoke a few seconds later groggy as if she were in a deep sleep.

  "What happened? Why am I on the ground? I'm sorry," she said.

  "There's no need to be sorry," Carson said. "I'll call an ambulance."

  "Oh, no, I'm all right. It must be the wine. I'm just tired. Let's go home. I don't want to go to the hospital. I'll be all right," she protested.

  "I don't know," Carson said. "But we're going to take some tests in the morning."

  "Oh, stop. I'll be ok," she said, standing up with the help of the three men.

  She sat back on the wicker chair, and put her head back. A tiny, elderly woman ploughed her way through the crowd carrying a cold, wet towel and a glass of ice water.

  "Here, drink this and put this towel on your forehead," the older woman said. "I saw you fall off your chair. Scared the heck out of me."

  "Thank you. I'll be fine, Mrs. Hansen," Linda said taking the glass and towel.

  Linda and Carson left a few minutes later. The late summer sun dipped down behind the house, and the comfortable breeze turned into a chilly wind that swept off the ocean. The pleasant evening turned gray, then blackened into a cool summer night - a sign that the summer was giving way to fall.

  Gary and Julie left when the chill arrived in the air.

  "You look relieved to leave," Gary said as he fired up the engine in his two-seat Honda.

  "Yes and no. I don't feel very well, and I caught a chill there," Julie said.

  "You, too? Well, the doctor is in and I have the perfect remedy for you," Gary said.

  "Not tonight, Gary. I'm sorry, but I just don't feel right. I have my period and I just want to go home."

  "Oh."

  "Poor Linda. How embarrassing to black out like that," Julie said.

  "I don't think it was embarrassing. It just happened. What can you do," Gary said.

  They drove the rest of the way in silence, and when they arrived at her house, he walked Julie to her apartment door.

  "I'm sorry, Gary. I just don't feel up to it."

  "It's okay. I'll call you tomorrow. We can go to the beach," Gary said.

  "That would be nice," she said. "Good night."

  "Good night. I love you," he said.

  "I love you, too," she replied and disappeared into her apartment.

  Gary got into his car and drove to a dark section of the beach. The darkness suited his mood. He got out, and stared at the breakers - only their white foam was visible in the dim moonlight. He wondered if he had made a mistake with Julie. There was something about her that gnawed at him. It came and went like a mood, a bad mood. He couldn't quite pinpoint it in his mind, but he was troubled just the same. It wasn't because she had refused him - he had grown accustomed to her rejections. He had even done it himself after working a 16-hour shift in the OR and the only thing that he wanted was to sleep. Maybe, what bothered him was her attitude, but he liked her cockiness - it reminded him of how he would like to be. It was her aggressiveness that convinced him to apply to Riverdale, and he has been indebted to her ever since. She made his life better, he thought, because without her, he would still be at Ocean Village Hospital making almost half as much as he earned now.

  Most times during their goodbyes, he would advance and kiss her, and it was as if she wasn't there. Tonight, he wanted to see if she would approach him and she didn't. It bothered him not because she didn't kiss him, but because her actions were telling him something he didn't want to hear, something he feared most - that he loved her, but she didn't love him. He looked up at the crescent moon with its companion, Venus, and thought he could be wrong. Venus was the Roman goddess of love and beauty. It was a sign that maybe he was wrong. But if his inner voices were right, he knew he was trapped - addicted to her like a drug addict. He walked back to his car and drove home.

  * * *

  Julie went into her small kitchen and made herself a cup of green tea. She sat down at the round table in the corner and drank it down quickly. Then she changed into jeans and a sweatshirt and drove to the Ocean Village Sentinel. The building was dark except for several brightly lit "EXIT" signs near the doorways. The light guided her down a short hallway, which led to a large room filled with cubicles, computers and the stale smell of Friday's micro waved lunches. She walked over to her desk by the window and turned on her desk lamp. She pulled the shade down, and moved the mouse to disable the screen saver and then put in her password. She should have pulled the shade down first, and then turned on the light, she thought, but no one would notice anyway. The computer hummed softly and the monitor came to life, illuminating her face in an eerie light that made her appear spectral. She began typing - her eyes were on fire.

  Deception - Chapter 13

  Carson couldn’t dial the phone fast enough, his emotions spewing out like hot lava. "That was pretty low of your girlfriend to print that story without asking. If I had known that everything I said could end up in print, I wouldn't have said a thing!" Carson shouted.

  "What are you talking about?"

  "The article! Haven't you seen the article! It was on the front page!"

  "No, I haven't seen it! What does it say?"

  "The Hellfire Syndrome!" Carson shouted. "It just makes us all look like a bunch of quacks!"

  "I'll talk to you later about this," Gary said and hung up. His stomach twisted and turned as he took an elevator to the first floor and headed towards the lobby gift shop. He found the stack of the Ocean Village Sentinels and picked one up. The front-page headline read:

  Doctors Baffled Over Hellfire Syndrome

  Patients Appear to Enter Hell

  By Julie Watson

  Special Investigative Reporter for the Sentinel

  OCEAN VILLAGE - Several specialists from local hospitals reported that area patients have had unexplainable near death experiences and seemingly entered hell.

  The mysterious symptoms have been labeled, the Hellfire Syndrome, and include being pronounced clinically dead, coming back to life with burnt skin, and having memories of entering a dark tunnel and falling downward, according to the specialists.

  The doctors have no clue to the origin of the symptoms.

  Many patients have awoken hysterical, claiming that they went to hell. All develop burnt skin, similar to severe sunburn shortly after they awaken, the specialists explained. The doctors declined to give their names.

  Although many of the physicians interviewed said there was a medical explanation for HFS, they could not produce any evidence of a disease and only produced unproven theories for the cause of the symptoms.

  A psychiatrist explained that for several people to have the same experience, they would have to have the same fears. However, he added that it was only a theory.

  One church official, however, disputed the doctors and said that it is very possible that these patients actually entered hell because the devil has been gaining strength in this century as evidenced by the rise of Satanism.

  "That bitch! How could she! How could she do this?" Gary yelled.

  A white-haired woman behind the small counter looked up with wide eyes. Gary glared back and started toward the doorway.

  "Hey, aren't you going to pay for that newspaper!"

  He threw the newspaper at the old woman, its pages coming apart like a fallen bird.

  "I'm going to report you to your supervisor!" she screamed running from behind the counter to pick up
the pages.

  Gary took out his cell phone and called the Ocean Village Sentinel. Julie wasn't there. He dialed her cell phone and got her voicemail.

  "Who the fuck do you think you are? Where do you come off printing that story without permission! You really screwed things up!"

  Gary hung up and dialed Ocean Village Hospital. He got a busy signal. After several attempts, he got through.