Absence of Faith

by Anthony S. Policastro

  Suddenly, Kyle knew the answers. Chantress was the answer. She had given him vision, a future, a place under the sun. He simply had to reach out and take it. Perhaps, it was a view of the future - his future.

  He sat up and looked at Chantress with strange admiration.

  "I know who that man is."

  "Why are you looking at me like that. You’re giving me the creeps?"

  "I know who that man is."

  “You do?”

  "My father. He's trying to tell me something. Before we met I went to a you know…a fortune teller and she told me my father was trying to contact me."

  "You went to a psychic?" Chantress said. "We’re so alike. I’m so impressed. I want to hear all about it!"

  "Okay, but it’s scary."

  "Oh come on! How scary can going to a psychic be?"

  He told her about the awful experience how the woman died, and how he passed out several times, and about the beam of light that pierced his eye.

  "What bothers me is that he was trying to tell me something, but he was blown away before he could say it. Like he was trying to warn me about something and someone else didn't want me to know."

  "Well, it was only a dream," she said.

  "Yeah...only a dream, but I have a feeling it really happened."

  Kyle turned and stared out the window at the empty gray street.

  "What’s the matter?"

  "Just thinking. There are people out there who have dreams that come true. I just hope I'm not one of them."

  "Are you crazy? Everybody has dreams and everybody wants the good ones to come true. It's just that some people give up on their dreams, forget about them, and never try to make them happen. Many people just wish for things to happen," Chantress said.

  "I didn't mean my dreams. I meant the nightmares."

  "So then what are your dreams, Kyle?"

  "You know, I never had any real dreams until I met you. I was just drifting along, looking for something to turn up. I really didn't care about much of anything until you came into my life. Now I have a direction and I can see things more clearly."

  "That's wonderful! I knew we would be good together. I just knew it!" she said hugging him like a long lost teddy bear.

  "Are we ready for tonight's meeting?"

  "Everybody will be here at seven thirty. We'll go over the rules and meetings dates, and then we'll have the open discussion," Chantress explained. "My parents would never let me have this meeting at my house."

  "This is not devil worship, is it? We won't be worshipping anything except our own potential, right?"

  Chantress nodded.

  "So where is the mystical, the spiritual part of all this?"

  "The spiritual, mystical part is realizing the power within oneself, the power to do whatever you set your mind to do. Isn't that mystical enough? It's the same as devil worship except more positive, more normal and with results that are acceptable to everyone. We don't have to hide in dark cellars or abandoned buildings. And I'll bet we'll attract more people because it makes sense. New Age is spiritual - it's the age where people realize higher levels of their selves, a new spiritual self. Look at all the seminars that are held on positive thinking and self motivation!"

  "I guess so," Kyle replied. "But it's not like a religion or devil worship?"

  "I suppose you got a kick out of drinking dog's blood! Personally, I thought it was disgusting and so did the others who are coming tonight," Chantress said.

  "Well, yeah...I thought it was disgusting, but it was kind of exciting, too," Kyle confessed.

  "You men are all alike. The animal has never grown out of you. Either you are with me or you're against me on this. There are no maybes. Are you going to help me with this or not?"

  "Oh, yeah, I said I would. Don't get so bent out of shape," Kyle said.

  Chantress looked at him icily and vanished into the bathroom to shower. Kyle sat back down on the edge of the bed and ran his hand through his long, thick hair. The running water broke the silence and it excited him knowing Chantress was naked. He opened the bathroom door and slipped into a hot, moist wall of steam. Chantress' naked body was shiny an silky from the cascading water.

  "I thought you'd never come in," she said her eyes afire.

  They soaped each other's body and then slid their hands all over each other enjoying the slippery sensation. Chantress' last bit of frosty feelings washed away with Kyle's touch and the hot, pulsating water. They floated in and out of a fantasy with the steam, the water and the soap enveloping all of their senses. The fantasy turned into a combined ecstasy as they made love. It nearly caused them to pass out.

  The New Ageists - Chapter 19

  They spent the early part of the day preparing for the meeting. Kyle bought cold cuts and vegetable salads from the nearby supermarket, and Chantress made several trays of finger sandwiches. Kyle placed bowls of chips, pretzels, and crackers on the small round table in the kitchen.

  "This is going to be some party!" Kyle said as he positioned the bowls on the table.

  "A celebration," Chantress said.

  The guests arrived around 7:45 – first to arrive was a 50s something doctor and his wife, a dentist and his son, a construction worker and his friends, and several others Kyle did not get a chance to greet as they entered the tiny apartment. They all introduced themselves with their real names. To Chantress, it was like meeting a group of new people since she had only known them by their secret identities used in the cult. The room was very crowded. Chantress began the meeting setting down the guidelines, and the rules, and the philosophy of the group. Kyle half listened - he was tuned into a small group near the door - the construction worker and his friends.

  "I knew this was going to be dumb," one of the men whispered.

  "Sounds like a lot of this intellectual shit that I hate," the other man replied. "Look most of them are those college types."

  "Yeah, I agree," said another man overhearing the conversation.

  "We'd better stay until she stops talking to be polite," added another man.

  "Fuck it. Let's go," said the construction worker.

  The four men moved toward the door.

  Chantress saw Kyle follow the men and frowned.

  "Kyle would you like to tell everyone your views on the group and where you want it to go?" Chantress said.

  "Uh...sure," his eyes wide and questioning.

  Kyle walked to the center of the room where Chantress was standing. The men by the door stopped.

  "First I would like to welcome everybody. We are on the verge of a new beginning - the beginning of a new life, a better life, a more fulfilling life, and it will all start right here tonight!"

  The crowd applauded. Chantress could not believe it was Kyle. Kyle looked at her and smiled. His eyes blazed with steel blue confidence and the sweetness of success.

  "We are all here because we want something more, something better for our lives. We don't want to be like everybody else, we don't want to think or act like the masses. We're better than that - superior in many ways and we have the mind power to prove it to the world!" Kyle said.

  The crowd applauded louder this time. The group was mesmerized. Chantress beamed. The construction worker and his group stayed.

  "I like this guy," said one of them.

  "Me, too."

  When the formal session of the meeting ended, the crowd surged towards Kyle offering him their hands and several pats on the back. Chantress slithered up to him.

  "This is great. You were great. We're going to be great together," she said.

  "Yeah, we will," he said.

  When the last guest left, Chantress grabbed Kyle's hand and led him into the kitchen.

  "I've saved the best for last," she said.

  She opened the refrigerator door and pulled out a bottle of champagne.

  "For us," she said holding up the bottle. "I knew this was going to be a success."

  Kyle took the bottle from her and began twisting
the wires holding the metal security cap. Then he used his thumbs to push the cork upward. The bottle opened with a piercing pop and Kyle let the plastic cork hit the ceiling and ricochet around the room like the feelings bouncing around inside of him. Chantress held two tumblers up and Kyle filled them, and then they toasted. Chantress peeled off her jeans and her tube top and stood before Kyle. She sat on the kitchen table bringing Kyle closer to her. His clothes fell to the floor in a small pile. They touched each other passing in and out of a pleasurable fantasy. Chantress was breathless. They both slipped into a numbing euphoria when he entered her, and they stayed that way until the euphoria exploded into yet another greater one that completely swallowed their senses, their consciousness. They lay on the table for some time letting reality slowly drift back.

  "Kyle, it's never been this good with anyone else. You have something magical," Chantress whispered into his ear.

  "I feel the same way. I can't get enough of you."

  They finished the champagne and made love a second time on the sofa in the living room. They watched a movie wrapped in each other's bodies. They celebrated each other’s existence. When the movie ended, Chantress got up and put on her clothes.

  "What's the matter? Did I do something wrong?" Kyle asked.

  "No. I have to get home...my parents, you know," she said.

  "Oh yeah, give me a second to get dressed and I’ll take you home."

  * * *

  They kissed long and hard as they sat in Kyle's car in front of Chantress' house. She gave him several smaller kisses on his face. Her eyes sparkled like stars in the night and the warmth pouring out of her eyes sent a hot, fiery burst of emotion through Kyle's body.

  "I feel very lucky to have you. I hadn't had such an intense relationship since I was in high school. Most of the girls I've met in the bars were losers...screwed up. Others were parasites - looking to latch onto the first decent guy that came along. A lot of them were looking for husbands to support them, so they could quit their jobs and stay home. I didn't want any part of that," Kyle explained. "I'm glad I found you."

  "I feel the same way, Kyle," Chantress replied with a kiss.

  They embraced and kissed for several minutes.

  "I have to go," she said. "Call me tomorrow."

  "Okay," he said.

  She got out of the car and leaned down to blow him a kiss through the window. He caught it with his hand and put it to his mouth. She smiled and faded into the darkness. He started the engine and drove away. Suddenly, he was very tired and struggled to stay awake for the short drive back to his apartment. The champagne and the lovemaking must have caught up with him, he thought. He turned down his street and instantly slammed on his brakes. The car skidded to a stop - the screeching of the tires bounced around in his head like an explosion in a tunnel. Chantress stood in the middle of the road wearing a long, flowing white robe. She walked to the side of the car and smiled.

  "What are you doing in the middle of the street?" Kyle asked. "How did you get here? I just dropped you off."

  Chantress smiled, and then she put her arms around his neck and began to pull Kyle out of the car.

  "Hey! Wait until I get out!" Kyle shouted. He wondered why he was angry with Chantress.

  Then the door on the other side of the car opened and two men with distorted, ugly faces got in and grabbed Kyle's arms. They wore strange smiles and began pulling Kyle in the opposite direction. The men wore black robes and their hands seemed especially large with abnormally long fingers.

  "Hey! What the…?" Kyle shouted, but his voice had no volume. It was as if he was shouting in a vacuum and neither Chantress nor the weird-looking men seemed to hear him. Kyle struggled to get away from the men, and then he struggled to get away from Chantress. He was uncertain whom to go to and he didn't understand why he was ambivalent. Then one of the men placed his large hand over Kyle's head and suddenly Kyle felt an exhilarating, exciting sensation run through his body. It was a feeling of the wild and it seemed to penetrate into the deepest recesses of his mind and soul. It touched his most primitive instincts. He pushed Chantress away and moved toward the men. This was where he belonged, he thought. But, the sensation went sour and he was filled with guilt. He turned toward Chantress and noticed he was naked! How did he get naked? He was horrified and then filled with an intense ecstasy that flowed through his entire body. It was as if he were making love over and over. Suddenly, the feeling stopped. It was replaced by the excitement he experienced earlier. The wild feeling. One of the ugly men grabbed his face, and pulled it towards him, and the wild feeling intensified. He turned to look at Chantress. She was crying, but he didn't know why. As each tear fell from her face, it tore at his heart and he wanted to put his arms around her and hug her each time. He turned, brought his arm up to push the men out of the car, but stopped. He was filled with that intoxicating and exhilarating feeling again. It overwhelmed him. This time it was stronger, addictive and refreshing. He looked at Chantress again, but her tears did not pull at his heart this time. He moved across the seat to follow the men. Her face turned to hatred sending an icy spear through his heart. He felt sad, but the excitement of the feeling dominated him and he left with the ugly men.

  He ran down the street following one man, while the other ran behind him. He wasn’t naked anymore. The street led into a dark tunnel with glistening walls and hot, stale air. The farther down Kyle ran into the tunnel the warmer it became until he could feel his skin become wet. Several beads dripped into his eyes, burning and blurring them. It was hard to breathe the hot, motionless air. He turned back, but the ugly man with the long fingers was still behind him following his every move like a mirror image. Suddenly flames leaped out of the walls like giant orange tongues and licked Kyle repeatedly. He felt the tongues burn his skin, but there was no pain. The pounding of the men's footfalls was all he could hear as they ran farther and farther into the tunnel to escape the flaming tongues. The pounding became louder and louder. Kyle ran faster and faster. Then Kyle heard a snap and the black tunnel opened up to blinding white light. A giant, wrinkled face with deep-set eyes and distorted features hovered above him.

  "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" he screamed.

  He jumped away hitting the back of his head on something hard, and then everything began to spin around. After a few seconds, the steering wheel of his car came into focus.

  "Are you all right in there?" a tiny muffled voice said.

  Kyle rubbed eyes and opened them to see an old woman peering in at him through the driver's side window. He cautiously rolled the window down about three inches.

  "I was walking by and saw you slumped over - I thought you were dead. Scared the dickens out of me. Then I thought if you were alive, it must be pretty hot in that car with all the windows rolled up," the old woman explained.

  "Where am I?" Kyle asked.

  "Chestnut Street," the woman replied. "I better call 911."

  Kyle waved her off. He looked around and saw that he was parked in front of his apartment.

  "I must have slept in the car all night after leaving Chantress," he said. "I'm all right now and thank you."

  The old woman grinned slightly, and walked away looking back several times. Her wrinkled skin reminded Kyle of the iguana he had as a child in Costa Rica - the skin hung down off its neck in wrinkled layers. Kyle lifted himself out of his car - his legs stiff and his shirt soaked with sweat. A sliver of fear ran through his body as he thought about how he could have fallen asleep in his car while still driving. The last thing he remembered was turning down his street. He felt awful, but he didn't know why, and then he recalled the dream. He was sad that he left Chantress. He entered his apartment and dialed her number, but no one answered. He walked into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. He saw a cloud swirling around in his mind and he wondered why the cloud bothered him so much. It wasn’t the dream. The cloud was vanishing and the thought was trying to make it through. It was almost there when a knock on the door shattered the thre
ad. Kyle left the bathroom, opened the door, and his eyes widened.

  The Request - Chapter 20

  A thin woman with long red hair tied into a ponytail stood next to the Magus with empty, drawn faces. At first, Kyle saw the Magus as one of the men in his dream with the ugly distorted faces. The woman was the same one he had seen at the cult meeting.

  "Hermes. I'm glad you’re home. I would like to talk to you. Can we come in?" the Magus said.