by Kara Hart
Now I am complete. My heart is full.
116
Author’s Note:
Continue on to read Filthy SEAL: A Secret Baby Navy SEAL Romance…
Prologue
Dakota
I never thought my choice would be this difficult. I didn’t ask to get sucked into all of this. It just happened. Sometimes, all it takes is one night to change everything. When I saw him walking my way, it was like thunderclouds and rainstorms. I knew he was bad. I knew he could ruin me. What I didn’t know is how everything would play out in the end. I didn’t think it would get this messed up.
It’s hard to look away from a storm. Despite seeing it coming and waiting until it reaches the front door, it’s still able to burst in and turn everything upside down. Once you get sucked in, there’s no turning back.
“Please don’t break my heart,” I think to myself. “Please. Let me know you’ll be there for me.” But there was no response. Nothing. There was only the sound of the wind outside my door. Like a storm, he came and he left, leaving me with all his destruction and chaos.
If I’m being vague, it’s because it all happened so fast. It’s hard to understand myself. It’s been so long since I’ve seen his face, since I’ve heard his voice.
It was a typical flash in the pan type of scenario. One hunk of a man leaves me with everything on the line, and now I’m totally screwed, having to make a choice. Is this the guy I want? Or am I choosing the wrong man?
I have to scramble to pick up the pieces. I’m a total wreck. Because I have his baby now and there’s nothing I can do about it. I gave in to his insistent ways and lost everything I held dear. I didn’t think this would happen. I didn’t understand all the ramifications. Now, he’s halfway across the world, fighting a war somewhere. Who knows if he’ll ever come back.
The spotlight always shines on me. The cameras are always rolling. And the fans want more than they can chew. I just don’t know if I can handle this all at once. The tabloids are going to go crazy and, I swear, I might lose my damn mind. I want out. I need out. But there’s no one there to help me.
Payton Caldwell is something else. He’s the hard-walking, shit-talking SEAL I never wanted to let in my life. But he’s also smooth as silk and deep as the ocean. There’s something inside him that says “I’m different from the rest of them.”
It’s the truth. He is. Or, so I’m finding out. I don’t want to let him down like I’ve been let down. It’s the reason why I can’t let him know what happened. I just can’t let him in my life. I’ve made an oath. I’ve made a promise, certain promises that can’t go unfulfilled.
His daughter will never know her father, the man that left me to fend for myself. He calls himself a hero? Fuck that. A hero wouldn’t uproot my life like that. A hero makes things better, not worse. Payton has complicated everything. Now I’m going to have to do the unthinkable.
I can’t let him know that my beautiful baby girl is his flesh and blood. He’ll lose it if he finds out. Then again, what’s going to happen when my producers find out?
My life is going to be ruined and it’s all because of that damn SEAL, Payton Caldwell.
117
Payton
“I need to get laid,” Drew says, taking a long swig of beer. Me, Carlos, and Drew are all gathered around the television, drinking heavily. This is the boys trip we’ve all been waiting for. We’ve got the best suite in Maui and we’re kicking it, feeling pretty damn laid back. Only problem is these guys are all married. They don’t know how to have a good time anymore. At least they have me to set them straight.
“Look, Drew. What you need is to get a divorce,” I tell him, finishing off my seventh beer. I grab another and pop it open. “Shit, all of you do. We’re in Maui and we’re holed up in a hotel room, watching reality television. I hate to say it, but I’m bored as hell. If I have to keep hearing how you guys wish you were still single one more time, I’m going to lose my shit.”
“C’mon Payton,” Drew says with a hurt look on his face. “Leave the wives out of this. We’re just having a little fun. We’re just talking.”
“Yeah, man,” Carlos starts in. “What do you got against Cynthia? She’s only treated you with respect and consideration.”
“Oh, Jesus!” I sigh. “Did I mention Cynthia ever? You guys are straight up boring. I honestly wish you could see it. I tell you I signed up for the Navy fucking SEALs and I pay for this trip, and all you guys do is sit inside all day. Well, I’m going out. I’m finding me some pussy, without a doubt.”
“Good luck,” Drew laughs. “Where the hell are you even going to go?”
“I don’t know, but I’ll find my way,” I laugh, chugging the rest of my beer as I grab a towel. When I leave, they’re all shaking their heads at me.
I’m the friend all the guys think is crazy. I’m impulsive, I don’t take kindly to rules, and I sure as hell don’t give a fuck about anyone. It’s just the way I was raised. I’m selfish. Arrogant too. These are traits anybody else would try and position himself away from. Not me. Life is too short to care what others think of me. I’m here to have fun, plain and simple.
I walk through the hallways of the hotel, pulling out a flask and unscrew it quickly. There are stitched palm trees across the floor and I smile because this is my first night in Maui and I’m about to have the night of my life. How do I know? I feel it in my bones. I’m determined to find someone tonight.
I head down to the lobby, grab a Mai Tai at the bar, and sit down against the wooden Tiki chairs. There’s a woman with a red dress sitting at the end of the bar and I’m already thinking about what I would do to her, if she just gives me a chance. She looks over and I raise my drink. She looks away, but I don’t give up that easy.
“Bartender,” I say, “get that girl a drink. Tell her it’s from over here.”
The bartender lazily walks over and asks her what she’s drinking. She asks for a shot of something. “Anything,” she says, as I silently watch her toss it back.
“Thanks,” she smiles and walks away from the bar.
“Well, shit,” I whisper. “Not too lucky tonight.” I shrug it off. I came to have fun, not to worry about picking up some lady at the bar. I weigh my options and realize this hotel is not the place to be if I want to find someone.
I head out toward the beach. The Tikis stare back at me as I walk out on the sand. Lit torches line the way, illuminating the whole beach. The place is fucking gorgeous and I suddenly don’t regret spending most of my money to get here.
I sit down on the sand and stare at the night sky, drinking my exotic drink. I can’t stop thinking about how all my friends have sold out. They all caved and got married. Now look at them. They couldn’t be any unhappier. It’s sad, really.
But look at me. I’m not that much better. Sure, I signed up to be a SEAL. Most people would look me in the eye and call me honorable. They’d shake my hands and tell me they’re thankful for my sacrifice.
I’m not honorable. I’m not a hero. I’m just someone with no direction. I’m 30 with no job prospects and nowhere to go but down. I’m a burning star, headed towards ruin. So be it. This is the bed I made for myself. I’ll just have to lie in it.
I take another sip of my Mai Tai and hear footsteps coming from behind me. I cock my head back and see the woman in the red dress walking hurriedly toward me. She’s holding her face in her hands, running recklessly toward the sand, and she’s crying. She doesn’t, of course, see me.
“What the fuck?” I whisper. She was fine a second ago. A little bitchy, maybe, but she acted like she was alright.
She’s very elegant looking, like a woman from the 1950s. Utterly classic and drop-dead gorgeous. They don’t make women like that anymore. I sit up and eye her as she keeps walking, her hips swaying back and forth.
“Well, I’ll be damned,” I whisper to myself as she strips down to her panties. Her tits are practically begging me to come closer, spilling from her bra like immense teardro
ps. The warm tropical wind rushes past my face and I feel myself standing up and walking toward her.
I’m a creep. I shouldn’t be doing this. She’s going to slap me right in the face, but I can’t help it. She’s curvy, busty, and I swear to God, I’ll beg on my hands and knees for her if I have to. This is my last week here before I’m deployed and I’ll be damned if I don’t go home with someone worthwhile this trip.
When she reaches the water, she jumps right in. She swims forward, until I can’t even see her anymore. Somehow, I’m also walking toward that dark, reflective water. And, like it’s not even up to me, I jump in too.
The situation becomes much direr. I lose sight of her completely. It’s dark, but it’s not that dark. If she was above water, I’d see her. But I can’t. I can’t find her anymore. It’s like she went under.
That’s when I realize this isn’t some joke. She might actually have a death wish. She might be too drunk to swim. Whatever the case, I have to save her. I have to make sure she doesn’t drown out here. My adrenaline kicks in and I dive under water, trying my best to see.
There’s nothing. Nothing except coral and tropical fish that swim away as I reach out. “Fuck,” I say to myself as I come back up for air. I dive back down and swim forward. Still, I can’t see her. She’s lost.
When I come up a second time, I gasp for air and yell. “Hello?!” Of course, there’s no response. I yell again “Hey!”
Fuck! I’m going to be a SEAL, dammit. You’d think I’d be able to save someone. But it’s impossible to see out here. I’m grasping at straws. I should have never left the room. Those guys were right. There’s no reason to leave at this time of night.
“Hello?!” I scream again. Nothing. There’s not even a tourist in sight. The whole beach is fucking empty. “Fuck.” A wave goes by and I dive under.
I can’t give up yet. I swim further and further out, until I’m far away from the beach. The water is clear, dark, and I’m honestly terrified a shark is going to bite my fucking legs off. Even still, I’m continuing the search because if I don’t, that woman is going to be dead. I can’t let them happen.
The water is much deeper where I’m swimming. I take another deep breath and dive down until I reach a cove of coral. I swim inside, keeping my eyes out for her. I’m fucking drunk and it’s hard to see, but I don’t give up. I can’t give up. Not yet, at least.
I swim further into the cove and quickly realize I am not back in Texas, my hometown. No, this is a hotbed of tropical entities, and I’m actually kind of terrified. I swim past an eel, who shows his fangs at me, and I quickly get out of there. When I reach the surface, I acquiesce. It’s impossible to find her. If she drowned, I’ve already lost her. Some hero I am, right?
I yell out one last time. “Hello?!”
And then the strangest thing happens. I feel a warm and slippery thing slide against my leg. “Fuck!” I scream out and kick away. Then I feel it again. It…grabs my ass?
I jump and scream like a little girl, and out from the water comes that woman, laughing her pretty little ass off. “What the hell?” I yell out, choking on the warm salty water. “I thought you were drowning!”
“What’re you doing? Are you following me?” she asks. “Can’t a girl swim alone?”
“Jesus, woman,” I say, heart beating at about a million beats per second. “What the hell is your problem? You almost gave me a heart attack. I almost drowned trying to save you!”
“Wow, I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m just sick of people following me. Can you let me swim alone in peace?” she pushes away from me and swims to the shore. “You know, you don’t have to be a creep. Didn’t you take the hint at the bar? I didn’t come down here to get picked up, or whatever you think is the case.”
“Wait!” I call out, too drunk to swim right. All that adrenaline has taken a lot out of me and I’m feeling completely out of shape.
She gets to the shore and grabs her dress, holding it in front of her body. She runs off, toward the hotel, but she’s not dressed and I don’t know how she thinks she won’t get weird looks from the guests. I run out of the water and chase after her.
“Wait up one second,” I mutter, out of breath.
She turns around and, with a harsh tone, says “Can you all just leave me alone for one night? I’m fine, really. Jesus Christ.”
Wow, this woman is on edge. “Look, honey, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve never seen you in my life. I was just trying to help you out. Forgive me.”
“Bullshit,” she says, glancing at the lit-up hotel. There’s a large crowd exiting the bar and walking toward us. Their voices carry and the woman looks worried. “Oh, fuck.” She glances around and stumbles a bit. I can tell she’s also a little drunk.
“You promise you’re not with them?” she asks me, looking back wildly. She looks frantic.
“With who?” I ask. Something isn’t right. This is weird. Maybe the guys were right. Maybe I should have stayed back with them. I don’t have time to deal with anymore shit out here. This is my vacation, not a chance for me to get all mixed up in some psycho-bitch’s drama. “What the hell are you talking about, woman? I thought you needed help. If you’re fine, tell me and I’ll head back to my room.”
She glances back at the crowd behind her and grabs my arm. “Come on. We have to get out of here.”
118
Dakota
I grab his arm and we run to the side of the rocky cliff next to the hotel. I’m losing it here. I don’t know why I signed up for this. I’m not a person who enjoys this much attention. Then there’s this guy, who I take for a creep. But, he’s the only person who will listen to me. I have a feeling he’ll hide me for a while. For once, I can feel like a human fucking being.
“Look, I don’t know who you are or what your intentions are,” I tell the guy. “For all I know, you’re some creepy fan. But right now, I need you to help me. You see those people over there?” I motion behind me and his eyes follow.
He looks over at them and shrugs, not understanding the severity of the situation. “Yeah, so what? They look like regular tourists,” he says. He shakes his head and backs away from me. “Look, I’m with some friends on a trip. I don’t need this shit right now. I thought you were actually in trouble. Turns out, you’re actually crazy.”
“No, please! Just get me out of here,” I plead to him. “Please?”
He looks back at the crowd and sighs. “They’re after you?”
“Yes,” I whisper.
“They’re going to hurt you or something?” he asks. They’re not going to hurt me. That’s not in the contract. I’ve just made a horrible decision. I signed up for something I don’t want and I don’t know how to get out of it. But how am I supposed to explain that to this guy? When I don’t answer, he moves right past me, in the direction of the people, my producers and everyone involved in the show. The people who contractually own my soul…
“Please, I’m begging you,” I whisper. “Don’t!”
But he keeps walking. “Hey, guys!” he calls out. I feel my heart drop and my stomach turn. I fall behind a succulent bush and pray he doesn’t turn me in to them. “You looking for a woman? Red dress? Curvy and hot?” Curvy and hot? Really?
I hear my producer, Jani Jacobson, utter a “yes” and I just know I’m fucked. I’m nearly picking myself up from hiding when I hear the guy reply. He says “I saw her run inside a few minutes ago. She looked frantic.”
The show executives mutter a thank you and when I glance at them, they’re walking back inside. “A thank you would be nice,” the man calls out. He walks back over and throws a towel at me. “Here. Get warm.”
“Thank you,” I whisper. “I really didn’t want to have to deal with them tonight.”
“No problem,” he tells me. “Listen, it’s been a fun time, but I think I’m going to head back to my room.” He turns toward the bar and starts walking.
“Wait,” I stop him. “Don’t you want to know w
ho they were?”
“I don’t really give a damn who they are. They look like a bunch of suits to me,” he says. “Anyway, it’s none of my business. I gotta run, but you can keep the towel.”
“Can you stay for a little bit?” I ask him. He looks at me like he can’t figure me out. Now that he’s close to me, I worry he can see how exhausted I am. It looks like I haven’t slept in days. He glances at my tits. It’s not hard to see him doing it. He’s pretty obvious about it.
“Fine,” he tells me. “But you’re going to tell me what your deal is.” I shrug. Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t. Right now, I’ve had enough fans get the most out of me.
We walk a little way down the beach and he’s stumbling, like he’s pretty drunk. I can smell the rum on his breath. We reach the bottom of a cliff and sit down. The clouds are dark against the night sky, with hint of purple to them. The plants all around us are big and green. Palm trees rustle in the night and the air is warm and humid.
“Are you okay?” he asks. I’ve got his towel wrapped around my shoulders.
“I’m fine,” I say. “You can stop staring at me though. It’s a little weird.”
“It’s hard not to stare,” he tells me. I try not to laugh. “A woman like you is too beautiful not to be adored.” Great. He’s trying to get lucky. I can’t help but glance at his body. Those chiseled abs, the defined curves of each muscle… I can’t help but notice he takes care of himself.
“Give me a break,” I laugh. “I get it. You want to fuck me. Try and contain yourself.” I love seeing the surprise in his eyes. Yes, a woman can talk too. I’m the kind of woman who isn’t afraid to speak her mind. I’ve been dealing with a whole lot bullshit this past year and it’s taught me a lot.
“Come on,” I tell him, picking myself back up. “Let’s explore.”