Summer of the Weeping Rain

by Yvonne Whittal

  'I want to get out of the pool,' she gasped, too aware of his nearness and the quickening of her pulse rate.

  'What you're actually trying to say is that you want to get away from me,' he mocked her, and he was so close now that she could feel the length of his hard body against her own. 'What are you afraid of?'

  'I'm not afraid of anything,' she lied, and to her horror his hand against her waist shifted its position slightly.

  'Do you mean to tell me your heart normally beats this fast?'

  A tide of colour swept up from her throat into her cheeks, and there was a hint of desperation in her voice when she begged, 'Let me go!'

  'I'll release you if you promise to stay where you are so we can talk,' Adam insisted calmly.

  'We have nothing to talk about,' Lisa snapped.

  'I can think of plenty.' His arm tightened about her, exerting a threatening pressure about her ribs. 'Do I have your promise that you won't try to escape?'

  His breath was warm against her cheek, and she was frantic enough to promise him anything at that moment in order to put some distance between them.

  'You have my promise,' she whispered huskily, and suddenly she was free; free of his arm, but not entirely free of him. Adam was taking no chances, and he remained close enough to prevent any effort she might make to escape.

  'Your boy-friend left in rather a hurry, didn't he?'

  His unexpected reference to Rory made her stiffen. 'Rory is not my boy-friend!'

  'No?' The mockery in his voice was quite audible without her having to look at him. 'According to what he told me, and judging by the way he greeted you, I would say he was that, and much more.'

  Lisa turned then, and her eyes clashed angrily with his, but her anger subsided the next instant just as swiftly as it had risen. Adam looked different, somehow, with his dark hair wet and plastered to his broad forehead. Less austere, she decided vaguely, but still infinitely dangerous.

  'I don't care what Rory told you, or what you saw,' she said at last. 'You're mistaken about him being my boyfriend.'

  Adam's lips twisted cynically. 'Am I?'

  'If you must know,' she began, turning away from the intense scrutiny of his eyes, 'Rory Phillips and I were engaged… once.'

  'I see.'

  'No, you don't see at all!' she cried desperately at the cynicism in his voice.

  'Then explain it to me.'

  'It's none of your business.'

  'I'm making it my business,' he said abruptly, and his hands were cruelly punishing about her narrow waist as he turned her in the water to face him. 'This engagement of yours—did it end somewhere around the time of your accident?'

  His shrewd guess startled her, but she kept her eyes pinned to his broad chest where the short dark hair clung damply to his skin. 'Yes.'

  'Was it because of the accident?' he probed relentlessly.

  'Yes.'

  'You mean he walked out on you at a time when you most probably needed him most?'

  'He walked out on me, yes.' She threw back her head then with a gesture of defiance to meet the force of his dark eyes unwaveringly as she added: 'After I broke off the engagement.'

  'You broke off the engagement?' An incredulous expression flashed across his face. 'Why? Were you just tired of him, or did he say something that led you to believe he no longer wanted to marry you?'

  'He didn't have to say anything!' she cried in a choked voice, twisting herself free of his hands and, resting her arms on the tiled edge of the pool, she buried her face in them as she explained haltingly, 'It—it was all there in his eyes—the horror, the disgust—and the revulsion. So I—I gave him back his ring and told him it was over between us.'

  'I see.' That deep, rumbling voice sounded curiously different without the usual trace of mockery as he continued to question her. 'What made him come all this way specially to see you today?'

  Adam had no right to probe into her private affairs in this manner, but she nevertheless heard herself reply with unaccustomed cynicism, 'Apparently he met my mother in town a few days ago, and I can only presume that he discovered I'm not as gruesome-looking as he'd imagined I would be, so he—he had some crazy idea of picking up where we left off with our engagement.'

  'And?'

  'And nothing,' she snapped, raising her head and glancing at him defiantly over her shoulder.

  'You sent him away?'

  'I told him it would be best if he returned to Cape Town and forgot about me.'

  That hard mouth tightened fractionally. 'Do you find it so difficult' to forgive?'

  'It's not a question of forgiving. I've forgiven him long ago, but…' She faltered, lowering her gaze once more to his tanned, muscular chest. 'Our marriage would have been a mistake. I know it now.'

  'How can you be so certain of that?'

  There had been no difficulty in explaining to Rory, but Adam was an entirely different proposition. What would he know, or understand, about affairs of the heart, when he himself had remained immune to it for thirty-eight years?

  'I don't suppose one can be sure of anything in this life,' she managed eventually, 'but I only know that there's no future for me with Rory.'

  'With whom does your future lie, then?'

  Her pulses leapt nervously. 'With—with no one.'

  'Oh, come now,' he scoffed ruthlessly. 'You're an attractive girl with plenty to offer a man, and you shouldn't let a few scars and a slight limp stand in your way.'

  He had touched a sore point with a cruel finger, and she winced inwardly. 'Most men look for perfection, and I'm— I'm no longer as perfect as I would like to be.'

  Adam's eyes hardened. 'So you're going to crawl into that little shell of yours and exclude men from your life?'

  'If you like to put it that way… yes.'

  Strong white teeth flashed in a smile of derision. 'Be careful self-pity doesn't turn you into a sour old spinster.'

  'How dare you!' she gasped, her blue eyes sparkling with anger. 'I don't pity myself!'

  'Don't you?' His eyes narrowed dangerously. 'You're giving a pretty good demonstration of feeling sorry for yourself.'

  Lisa's hand was itching to slap that smug look off his face, but she knew instinctively that she would be made to suffer for it afterwards. 'I wish you'd leave me alone! Your opinions are of no interest to me.'

  'Where are you going?' he demanded, following her out of the pool to where she had left her things. ,

  'Back to the house,' she snapped without turning.

  'To crawl into your shell where you can lick your wounds in private?'

  His stinging remark made her swing round abruptly to face him, and her eyes blazed with helpless fury up into his. 'You're insufferable! You're—'

  'Calm down, Lisa.' His hands gripped her shoulders, sending a charge of electricity through her that merely infuriated her more as he said through his teeth, 'God knows, I can do without the company of a spitfire this afternoon.'

  'If you'll let go of me, then I'll relieve you of my company, Mr Vandeleur,' she retorted coldly.

  'You may be a little spitfire at times, Lisa, but I'm also well aware of your blessed calmness and serenity.' Her startled glance seemed to amuse him, but his eyes lacked their usual lustre, and she was now curiously aware of the signs of tiredness about his mouth and eyes. 'I need your serenity this afternoon,' he added simply.

  Anger made way for an instant rush of compassion, and she relaxed in his hold, allowing him to' draw her down unresistingly on to the soft grass at their feet.

  They did not speak as they lay on their backs, soaking up the sun, and listening to the birds fluttering and fighting loudly in the trees around them. There was, for the first time, a strange new affinity between them, but Lisa dared not probe too deeply for a suitable explanation. It was bewildering enough to know that he needed her at that moment, even though he so obviously despised her.

  Adam stirred beside her eventually, and she opened her eyes nervously to find that he had raised hi
mself up on to one elbow to lie staring down at her. His eyes, dark and piercing, held hers effortlessly for several suffocating seconds before he raised his hand to lightly caress the raised, faintly livid scar on her face. An odd little pulse quivered in her throat at his touch, and then she was suddenly too afraid to move.

  'You don't need Ken Rudman's flattery and boyish innuendoes to convince you that you're still infinitely desirable,' he said unexpectedly, and at her swift indrawn breath he smiled faintly. 'That's the reason you encouraged him, isn't it?'

  Too surprised to think up a clever reply, she stammered, 'Yes, I—I suppose so.'

  'I knew it,' he muttered softly with a self-satisfied expression on his face, and she squirmed inwardly with remembered humiliation.

  'If you knew, then why—?' The words stuck in her throat. It was impossible to speak of those moments in his arms, and she questioned instead his accusations. 'You— you didn't really think I was hankering after an affair, did you?'

  'No.' He sat up abruptly to stare out across the pool, and she had the absurd desire to slide her hand across his broad back to feel the muscles rippling beneath her fingertips, but she checked herself forcibly when he spoke. 'I said a lot of things that night to hurt you, but I was angry with you for having so little faith in yourself as a woman.'

  'Why should my lack of faith in myself trouble you?' she asked incredulously.

  'Heaven only knows, but it does.' He turned then, and she was suddenly intensely conscious of the fact that her swimsuit accentuated every line and curve of her slim body for his bold and quite deliberate inspection, but there was also a disturbing hint of devilment in the eyes that observed her so closely. 'Perhaps it's because you're such a little thing that I feel the need to protect you, even from yourself.'

  'I can look after myself.'

  She sat up agitatedly as she spoke, her fingers groping for the sleeveless towelling robe, but Adam leaned over her suddenly, and a large brown hand gripped her wrist, halting her action and sending a spark of awareness tingling along her nerves.

  'Can you?' he demanded in a dangerous undertone, and he was now so close that she could see the tiny flecks of gold in his dark brown eyes as they burned deeply into hers. 'Can you look after yourself, Lisa?'

  His hand slid up her arm to grip her shoulder even as frantic little plans to escape assumed formation in her mind, and then it was too late. He was bending over her, forcing her back on to the soft grass, and the width of his shoulders blotted out the sun as his lips brushed across her eyelids, forcing her lashes down over her wide, frightened eyes before he took possession of her tremulous mouth.

  Lisa knew the futility of fighting against those imprisoning arms, and held herself rigid and unresponsive, but the gentle, persistent pressure of his mouth finally broke through her barrier of reserve and parted her lips. She experienced again that wild, leaping response within her, and then nothing seemed to matter beyond the fact that Adam was kissing her with a hungry, almost tender passion, so different from the way he had kissed her before.

  When his mouth finally left hers, it was to explore her slender throat, and the smoothness of her creamy shoulder where his impatient fingers had paved the way by brushing aside the narrow strap of her swimsuit. His lips against her skin sent the blood pounding like molten fire through her veins, but the persistence of a warning little voice made her cling desperately to the final shred of her sanity.

  'Adam.' Her voice sounded strangled and quite unlike her own. 'I—I must get back to the children.'

  'Later,' he muttered against her throat.

  'Adam… this is madness!' she gasped, but he was deaf to her pleas as his mouth trailed a blazing path down to the fullness of her breast.

  Inhibited as she was, allowing Adam this new and devastating intimacy seemed suddenly so wonderfully right, and, as a sensual warmth flowed into her limbs, she began to know the full meaning of desire and the aching need for fulfilment. She could no longer think coherently, and neither had she the desire to try as her untutored body responded with a will of its own to Adam's tempestuous caresses. Her hands moved of their own volition to become entangled in the thick crispness of his hair, and then a low moan escaped past her lips as she surrendered herself to the wild new ecstasy pulsating through her.

  Lisa often wondered afterwards what would have happened had Willa Jackson's 'Hello there!' not shattered the intimacy between Adam and herself at that moment. While sanity returned to her in wave after wave of paralysing shame, Adam seemed to be in complete control of himself, and strangely unperturbed at the thought of Willa witnessing their passionate embrace.

  'Good afternoon, Willa,' he said calmly, getting to his feet and drawing Lisa up with him, and then, whether by accident or design, his body shielded Lisa's, giving her that much-needed opportunity to restore some respectable order to her appearance as Adam asked: 'What brings you here at this time of the day?'

  Willa stepped across the space dividing them, and Lisa felt a flicker of envy stab her heart. Willa was beautiful, competent, elegant, and faintly seductive even in her usual riding clothes, but there was a glittering hardness in her eyes that did not match the smile on her coral-pink lips as she tilted her head up at Adam.

  'Daddy's having problems with the electro-generator and he wondered if you would have time to take a look at it for him this afternoon.'

  Adam picked up his towel and draped it carelessly across one broad shoulder and, as he did so, his eyes met Lisa's briefly. It seemed to her, in her chaotic state of mind, that he was about to say something, then he shrugged his shoulders and turned to face Willa.

  'Give me a few minutes to get dressed, will you?' he said, pushing his feet into his canvas shoes, and then he was striding towards the house.

  'Oh, Miss Moreau,' Willa interrupted Lisa's hasty preparation to take flight, 'keep me company, won't you?'

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  'Keep me company,' Willa had said, but one quick glance into those cold green eyes told Lisa that it was not company Willa wanted; it was a confrontation, and Lisa did not need clairvoyancy to guess the subject.

  'If you don't mind, Miss Jackson, I must get back to the children.'

  'What I have to say won't take more than a few minutes.'

  'Very well, then,' Lisa agreed reluctantly and, striving for an outward calmness, she turned to face Willa. 'What is it you have to say to me?'

  'I'd like to give you some advice, my dear,' Willa smiled faintly, but her eyes remained cold as they swept disdainfully over Lisa. 'Don't make a fool of yourself over Adam. Like most men he'll take what he can get if the girl is willing enough, but don't place too much significance on his behaviour. He's already committed himself elsewhere.'

  There was a soaring sensation in Lisa's ears, and a pounding against her temples that made her sway slightly on her feet. If Willa had struck her physically with that riding crop she kept twisting between her beautiful hands, Lisa could not have felt more stunned. Adam was committed, and to Willa, judging by the look of intense satisfaction on those classically carved features, and Lisa felt a coldness surging through the mist of inexplicable pain; a coldness that left her peculiarly without feeling at that moment, and she shivered despite the heat.

  'You're making it sound as though Adam's a rake, committing himself to one woman while still taking advantage of others,' she heard herself speak in a voice that was oddly detached.

  'Oh, no! Don't misunderstand me!' Willa corrected her hastily. 'Adam is a very respected man in this community, and he's also a very wealthy man, as you must have guessed. This has been sufficient reason for some women to go a little silly over him, only to be discarded the moment they began to bore him, and I'm telling you all this because I wouldn't want to see you hurt unnecessarily.'

  Lisa felt herself go rigid with distaste. 'Are you suggesting that I've thrown myself at him because of his wealth and position in this district?'

  Willa smiled sweetly. 'I'm not suggesting that at all, but living
under the same roof with him must surely make it difficult to keep your relationship on a businesslike footing all the time, and it's only natural that a certain intimacy might develop between you, only…' she paused significantly, 'don't take it seriously. To Adam it's merely a flirtation, and you're the one who'll be hurt in the end.'

  Lisa was not fooled by Willa's display of concern. This girl was concerned for herself, and for no one else, and Lisa could almost feel sorry for her if what she had said was the truth.

  'If Adam has committed himself, as you say, doesn't it trouble you to know about these… lapses?'

  'We're two of a kind, my dear,' Willa smiled, drawing herself up to her full height and looking down at Lisa with a look of triumph on her face as she added with a hint of intimacy in her voice, 'Adam and I understand each other perfectly.'

  Lisa stared at her blankly for a moment, not sure whether to congratulate her or to commiserate with her, but she finally decided against both.

  'You must excuse me, Miss Jackson,' she said with a calmness and dignity that was beginning to crumble. 'The children will be wondering what's happened to me.'

  'You will remember what I told you?'

  How can I forget! Lisa thought in anguish as she nodded silently and followed the path Adam had taken up to the house some minutes ago.

  Lisa walked as if her life depended on it. She dared not stop to think, but with each step she took her mind seemed to shout 'Adam and Willa! Adam and Willa!' She had suspected it from the start; she had even considered it a perfect match. Why then should it hurt so much? 'Don't think! Don't feel! Just walk!' she told herself fiercely, but later, in the privacy of her room, her rigid control snapped, and shame and humiliation swept through her with the devastation of a hurricane that tore at her until she felt totally disembodied.

  She had surrendered herself to Adam's lovemaking as she had never done with any other man before, but for him it had been only a brief interlude, while to her…!

  She. could still feel the touch of his lips and hands on her body and, shuddering violently, she sagged on to the bed and buried her quivering face in her hands. How he must be laughing now at the easy victory he had scored over her, and how he must despise her for her weakness once again! She had been taken in by his apparent understanding; by his surprising and seemingly genuine concern for her; and finally by his sheer masculinity, but he had merely been playing with her. He had led her on deliberately until she had made a humiliating spectacle of herself. She had credited him with sincerity, and he had shattered her trust.