Breaking Promises

by M. A. Lee

  “She needs time,” Kat said as she walked into the room.

  I was crouched down on the floor, all of my belongings broken on the ground beside me. I had never seen Lauren act this way before and I was frightened of what I had just done to her heart and mind.

  “How much time?” I asked as I slowly lifted my head to look at her.

  Kat scowled at me and didn’t try to hide her hatred. That was one thing I loved about her, she never bullshitted with anyone.

  “I don’t think that matters. You hurt Lauren. You fucked up. If she even talks to you again you are lucky, but you will give her the time she needs,” she stated almost as a threat.

  I nodded my head, my voice too weak to speak again.

  Sliding down beside me, Kat sat next to me for the next hour. She didn’t say anything else. She just sat there with me as a friend.

  Sad thing is, she may be the only friend I have left.

  10

  Lauren

  Later that night, I found myself lying in bed with the blankets covering my head. I had rushed home, well not my home but to Cole and Melanie’s home, and turned off my cell phone. We each had keys to the other’s homes in case of emergencies. This was an emergency.

  I didn’t want to talk to anyone or see anyone. The last time I had felt this scared and alone was two years ago when I received the call that Melanie was in the hospital after her wreck. Back then, I felt like I was losing my best friend. I couldn’t believe that something so tragic could happen to a person like me, but it did. Now, I have that same sinking feeling again. As though this could all be the end of something special. In a way, I did just lose my best friend. My other best friend who also held my heart.

  I can’t believe this could be the end of Isaac and me. I can feel him slipping away from me. I should have seen the signs. He had been texting the night we all went to Wild Thing’s together. He wasn’t returning my texts or calls like he used to. If this is real- if I am losing Isaac, I don’t know if I am strong enough to know the answer. It can’t be real, can it be?

  Looking around the guestroom I would be calling home for a while, I noticed that it screamed love and happy times. The white bed spread was full of soft pastel colored pillows. The walls were a soft beige color and had pictures of Melanie and Isaac on various trips and some of all of our friends.

  All I could think about was the happy times Isaac and I had shared as our love blossomed and grew into a force not to be reckoned with. My mind quickly flashed to the night Isaac had proposed to me. That was undoubtedly the best night of my entire life. I could still see everything so vividly as though the moment was happening again right before my eyes.

  It must have been hours since I had run away from Isaac. Without wanting to go home, I had made my way to Melanie’s house. I knew eventually she and Cole would come home and find me, but I didn’t care. I needed her.

  ISAAC HAD THROWN A glamorous party in which I had dressed up like a movie star. He knew me so well to plan such a beautiful and elaborate party. When I walked with Isaac and stood in the center of the living room amongst all of our friends, I knew something was up. I instantly made eye contact with Mel and I tried to hide my excitement, I didn’t want to give away that I was growing aware of the surprise Isaac had in store for me. Well, not yet. I could tell from the moment we entered the party that he was going to propose. Sure, Isaac had thrown tons of parties at his house but none compared to this one. As Melanie’s eyes rose as she looked at me, I knew without a doubt this was my moment. Isaac turned to me and, he knelt down on one knee and pulled the ring out of his suit pocket. Everyone around the room began to gasp and some were already clapping. My breath faltered as I felt tears swell in my eyes.

  My eyes danced as I focused on the shiny diamond in Isaac’s hand. “Lauren, I love you more than anything and I know this may seem rushed, but I can’t wait any longer. I have to ask. Will you marry me?” His voice shook as he spoke, but the love and sentiment rang higher and caused goose bumps to appear on my arms. His were the sweetest words I had ever heard in my life. There was nothing that would stop me from marrying this man who was my prince charming.

  Overwhelmed with love, I threw myself into his arms. Isaac sighed and smiled at me as he quickly stood and placed the ring on my finger before he dipped me and kissed me in what can only be described as the most romantic, long and dramatic kiss. Everyone in the room erupted with applause and cheers but to me; there was no one in that room except for me and Isaac.

  I SWIPED AT A TEAR that began to race down my cheek. I hated how that moment which was so beautiful was now something that caused me pain to think about.

  Just as quickly as that memory invaded my head, another one crept up on me and had me sobbing as I was reminded of the first time I met Isaac. He was everything I didn’t need or want. But, there was something so alluring and magnetic about him that I couldn’t help but throw myself at him. As silly as it sounds, the first time I saw Isaac was the first time I had ever felt giddy or silly around a guy.

  MEL HAD FINALLY AGREED to go out of our apartment with me after his disastrous break-up with the asshat Brody. I had this wild idea that I was going to get a tattoo on my lower stomach. It had been something I had wanted for a while but had never mustered the courage to do it. We decided to drive around town until I found a place that looked clean and not too wild for Mel. Finally, I found a cute little shop and as we walked in, I knew this was the place for me. Loud rock music blared through speakers and the décor had a sort of modern rock style vibe to it. A big guy named Smalls took me back to a small room where he was starting to get the ink ready for my Lilly tattoo. He was hitting on me the whole time, but I didn’t mind. Mel looked freaked though and just as the ink hit my skin, down she went. It was embarrassing as hell watching her pass out right there in the middle of the room. Thankfully, Isaac emerged as Smalls began to yell for help. At first, I didn’t really notice him because I was so concerned with Mel. I mean, I had begged her to come out with me and then I break her!

  Anyway, As Isaac placed her on a couch in the waiting room, my head finally turned to see a tall man with wavy blonde hair leaning against the door frame. His body was built, thick from obvious hardcore gym time. His blue eyes were locked on me as I was crouched down by Melanie’s side. He smiled and waved as he saw me notice him. I swear, I felt butterfly’s dance in my stomach as our eyes connected.

  Suddenly, I stood and began fixing my hair. I knew right then and there that I wanted this guy.

  THOSE MEMORIES ARE slowly dying as I lay there alone. Pulling my shorts down a little past my hips, I examined the Lilly tattoo that I finally did have tattooed. It was yellow with gold trim. It was perfect and exactly what I wanted to represent my favorite flower and grandmother’s name. Again, this memory which held so much sentiment and represented so much about my life with Isaac, now brought me pain.

  I heard the front door open sometime after dark and Melanie slowly walked into the guest room where I was hiding.

  “Lauren?” she called as I pulled the covers away from my head.

  “Mel,” I whimpered.

  I took one look at Mel and lost all control. Guilt washed over me as I realized I knew what was happening to Cole’s shop and hadn’t told Melanie and Cole first. I was a terrible best friend. My heart was aching from Isaac’s lies, but more than anything, it was breaking for her. Cole had confided in me and Isaac after we got engaged that he was going to propose to Melanie. He didn’t want to steal our thunder or our moment so he was going to wait until after the wedding. That was part of the reason why we had set a date so soon. I wanted nothing more than for Melanie to have a dream wedding that she deserved. Now that everything was falling apart with me and Isaac, I wasn’t sure when either wedding would happen.

  Rushing to my side, Melanie jumped in the bed with me and began to hold me tight. She held me as I cried and soothed me as I tried to talk. It was clear she knew what had happened and I didn’t need to explain any f
urther.

  “I’m sorry I came here,” I said after I calmed down a bit.

  “Don’t be sorry,” Melanie said as she ran her hand along my back. “Lauren, you were there for me when I lost everyone. You took care of me for years and now, it is my turn to take care of you,” she said with a smile.

  “Cole must hate me,” I cried out. “Isaac put his shop in danger too,” I said as my stomach rolled with the thought.

  “I don’t hate you,” Cole’s voice said from the hallway.

  I peeked out from underneath Melanie’s embrace to see a distraught looking Cole standing in the doorway of the room.

  “How can you not hate me? Isaac did something awful,” I stated.

  “Yes, Isaac did something awful, not you. I will figure out how to deal with Isaac, but Lauren, you are welcome here anytime,” Cole smiled as he looked sad.

  I realized in that moment that Cole and I were alike. Both of us had been betrayed by someone we loved and trusted. We were both victims of Isaac’s careless antics and we would both have to find a way to deal with the repercussions of his actions.

  “Thank you,” I said as I held onto Melanie tightly.

  “Lauren, you are going to stay here with us until you figure everything out,” Melanie insisted.

  “I don’t know,” I said through tears. “No one believes in love more than I do, but I don’t know if Isaac and I are strong enough to get through this,” I admitted.

  Holding me close, Melanie began to slowly rock me back and forth. A movement much like my mother used to do when I was a child and had bad dreams. The same movement I used to do when I would hold Melanie when she would wake during the night years ago after her wreck. I would hold her and rock her and soothe her; much like she is doing right now to calm me.

  “Whatever you decide to do, I am here for you no matter what,” Melanie said as she continued to hold me. “You will get through this.”

  Too tired to argue or say anything else, I just shook my head yes. I fell asleep in her arms that night and slept soundly all the way through the darkness.

  11

  Lauren

  “I think I need to go home for a few days,” I said as I packed a bag with some of my clothes and a few others Mel had let me borrow.

  “If that’s what you want,” Mel said with sympathetic eyes.

  Shaking my head, I smiled. “Yes, I think I just need to be away from anything that reminds me of Isaac. When I’m ready to come back...” I wasn’t sure how to finish that sentence.

  “You will come right back here with me where you belong,” Mel offered.

  Wrapping my arms around her neck, I hugged Mel for much longer than I should have.

  I rushed out of the home and into my car before I turned around and stopped myself. I drove the short distance to my parent’s house which wasn’t far from Melanie’s childhood home too.

  When I finally pulled up into my parent’s driveway, I sat in my car and stared up at the house where I grew up. I was suddenly flooded with images and memories from my childhood. Memories that included laughter, fun, and innocence. Not heartache and anger. I remembered, so many times, walking up the brick pathway and rushing into my home to tell my mom about a cute boy I had met, or cry on her shoulder over a silly crush that didn’t work out.

  The yard, which was a lush green and had beautiful flowers of an array of colors, reminded me of the many times I would sit on the porch and talk on the phone or play with my friends in the summer heat. All of my fond memories from childhood and my teenage years were wrapped around this one place, where now, I was going back to as I began to create a new chapter in my life as an adult.

  Walking through the front door, I was instantly greeted by my mother who wrapped her arms around me as I fell into her and began sobbing.

  She knew everything. Melanie had called her and so had I on my drive over. I didn’t know what to do, but I knew I needed my mother and the safety of my childhood home.

  “Lauren, you can stay here as long as you want. You can move back in if you need,” she said gently as she consoled me.

  We moved into the living room and sat on the couch together. Her arms were still protectively around me.

  “Thanks, mom. I just need to stay here tonight. I need to be here with you and dad,” I cried.

  “Oh Lauren. I am so sorry all of this happened. I still don’t understand how or why Isaac could hurt you. We love him, but we will support any decision you make,” she finished as she squeezed me tight.

  I stayed the night at my parent’s house that night. I slept in my childhood bed after talking almost all night with my mom.

  The next morning, I woke up to breakfast in bed before I left the innocence of my past and ventured back to my present.

  12

  Lauren

  One week later, I found myself still in bed at Melanie and Cole’s house. Neither one of them had spoken about Isaac, but I heard them whispering at night about the situation. I appreciated their concern and lack of intrusion, but at some point, I would need to venture back out into the real world and face this all. I had a wedding to cancel and a new place to find to live.

  While I was thankful for Melanie and Cole allowing me to stay with them, it couldn’t last forever. Melanie was a wonderful friend and even through one of our worst arguments, she still had my back. I remembered a time when she was still fighting her attraction for Cole. Seeing the pair now, you would never know that Melanie fought her feelings for Cole. One night though, I had had enough of her games and had blurted out more truth than I had wanted too.

  “I DON’T UNDERSTAND what his problem is,” Mel screamed as she threw her hands in the air. I could see her wild behavior in the vanity mirror.

  Melanie had just stormed into the room screaming like a lunatic. I was in a great mood as Isaac and I were in a great place in our new relationship.

  I remained calm as I allowed Mel to have her epic meltdown. Nodding my head, I just listened, never interrupting her rant. As she continued her pity party, I could hear the party in full swing just outside the thin, wooden door. “He is such an asshole! I can’t believe I have wasted so much time and energy on him. He kisses me one minute, then the next he acts like I don’t exist!”

  Her words were cutting right through me. While I loved Mel more than anything, I couldn’t understand why she was so upset with Cole. Her game she was playing with his heart could possibly affect me and Isaac and that thought alone made me lose control of my sanity and my emotions.

  Allowing a small laugh to escape my lips, I looked at Mel with wide eyes. Folding my arms across my chest, I glared at her until she stopped talking.

  “What?” Mel asked, angered by my bewildered stare.

  “Do you know how crazy you sound right now?” I asked, laughing again.

  “What are you talking about?” Mel asked, my voice rising.

  Rolling my eyes, I brushed my long hair behind my shoulder. “Mel, come on. You really don’t understand why he acts so hot and cold with you?” I said, my voice mocking her.

  Mel’s eyes grew wide and pure shock registered across her face. I had never spoken to Mel this way before and my outburst had startled her.

  “Lauren, I am so frustrated right now,” Mel offered.

  “Mel, Cole loves you. He treats you like a princess and you play mind games with him. One minute you kiss him back the next you act like all you want to be is friends. I think the poor boy is losing his mind.” I stated.

  “Lauren...” Mel began, but I cut me off before she could continue. The anger that was boiling deep inside of me now erupted like a wild volcano.

  “Mel, you know I love you, right? We have been through a lot together, but you really do need to make up your mind. Either you want to be with Cole, or you need to let him go. I don’t know how much of this “friend” game either of you can withstand. The storm that you are creating may be one neither of you can survive.”

  With that, I pushed Mel aside and opened
the bathroom door. I was smacked in the face by the pulsating music and sounds of people laughing and talking as they enjoyed themselves. I felt terrible for how I had just treated Mel, but she needed to hear what I was saying. She would be upset with me for a minute, but once my words registered with her, she would understand.

  This was our first true fight and I felt like shit. But, I was more afraid of how I would feel if I lost Isaac because of her antics.

  As expected, Melanie fell back into her world of misery as she spent her days in bed. Similar to what I am doing now. Anyway, having enough, I blew up at her again.

  “So, are you going to fall back into some weird depression again?” I asked in an angry tone, as she tried to fight me for the covers I was trying to pull away from her body. I held the sheets clenched in my fists as I attempted to push her away and to get out of bed.

  It had been two days since the epic New Year’s Eve battle between me and Melanie. She had gotten so upset that she and Cole had gotten into a huge argument.

  Ever since that night, Mel had barricaded herself in our apartment and had refused to talk to anyone, even me.

  “Leave me alone Lauren,” Mel hissed as she pulled her comforter back over her head.

  “Sorry Mel. I am not going to let you fall back into that black hole you finally crawled out of after two long and miserable years. You are going to get up and take a shower. You reek, I mean you smell and look awful. I love you, but I am sick of watching you be miserable.” This time, I succeeded in pulling the comforter away from Mel’s face.

  Good thing she was my best friend, because right now I wanted to kill her. Sighing, I continued once I was good and sure she had my full attention. “Come on. You are the one who decided to give up on you and Cole. You kissed him. You left him embarrassed and broken hearted in front of everyone. You need to put on your big girl pants and deal with what you have done.”