by K A Sands
“He is. The best,” I said. Going forward I needed to be honest with him.
Leaving the room in a sullen mood, I headed to my own, collapsing on the unmade bed, staring at the cracked and peeling ceiling that perfectly encapsulated my life. Ayden was my future. I knew it, felt it deep in the bones of me. He was my saving grace. Why would I risk the possibility of an us for a blow job from a woman I didn’t really like? The boss’s daughter of all people? How could I possibly be what he needed if this was the way I carried on just a few short hours after leaving his bed?
I shit on every good thing that came my way, and there hadn’t been all that many decent things in a very long time. I was a fucking fool.
As long as I lived this life, there was no chance Ayden and I would be anything. Getting out would give us all a fair shot, especially Sophie. Charlie had to go down first, then I could work out the rest. Wipe the slate clean. Start again. I wasn’t a stupid guy, had a head for numbers, complex numbers, I loved the enigma they often posed. It was a tenuous thought but a future job along those lines was a possibility. Doing something other than run drugs constantly looped in my head. What was I good at? What could I do? How would I make enough money to keep a roof over Sophie’s head?
Peering down at my hands, I studied the letters across my knuckles, laughing bitterly. My palms were spattered with years of blood and violence, how could I change? I ran my thumb over the initials, a lump forming in my throat, tears in my eyes. Scotty would be so disappointed.
Fuck, I was losing it big time.
The fallout from Chrissie and Charlie was not going to be easy. Did it really matter what I was trying to accomplish? Me and mine came first, I couldn’t think of anyone else.
I heard my phone chiming a message, guessing it was Ayden. Ignoring it, feeling a little vulnerable, I had to get my head in gear. My life needed sorting and I had to decide where I wanted to go from here on out, and if I was seriously contemplating a future with Ayden.
“Ten of Swords,” I whispered, turning over onto my side and closing my eyes for a few more hours.
* * *
Sure that I had no eyes on me, I made my way back to the club, every step fraught with paranoia. Being Saturday night, the place was hopping and the chances of being seen as anything other than two blokes out at a club for a drink, were slim. I was thankful at having planted seeds in Charlie’s head already, he may have felt inclined to let me be for the night.
Leaving Boomer at the bar again, I had to guess there was security cameras everywhere because Ryder was standing at the office door as I approached, ushering me inside when I got closer.
“That’s Martin,” he pointed to the corner of the room, where the guy who’d had me in a headlock in the storeroom sat.
Tipping my head in his direction, I said; “no hard feelings.”
“Cool,” he replied. “Hey, man. This is my job. Can’t have you peddling that nasty shit in here. Just wanted to make sure you understood.”
“Oh, I got you all right.”
“Take a seat.” A third chair had been added to the two I’d previously seen last time I’d been in the office. “Lucca can’t make it. He wants you down at his place sometime soon. Introductions, clear the air, whatever.” Ryder snickered. “He’s proper that way.” I didn’t detect any malice and surmised it was a joke among friends, which I certainly wasn’t.
Sitting down, I felt somewhat more comfortable than before, but I kept my wits about me, not wanting to look complacent no matter what.
“Okay, Shaun. Here’s the deal.” Ryder sat opposite me, a folder in hand and crossed his leg over his knee then he dove straight in, no bullshitting around. “Your mate, what’s his name again?”
“Boomer.”
“That’s his name?” Martin laughed. “I get why they call you Gripp, but Boomer? Loud mouth, is he?” I caught Ryder cutting Martin a fierce ‘shut the fuck up’ kind of look.
“His name?” Ryder asked again.
“It’s Ben. Nobody calls him that except my sister when she wants to piss him off or is pissed at him.” I flicked my attention over to Martin. “And they call him Boomer, cos yeah...he’s fucking loud and got a voice that would melt the knickers off any chick that listened to him sing.”
“All right. Ben goes to rehab next weekend. You got six days to convince him. You think you can?”
“I think so. I got money saved that could cover some of it, it was kinda earmarked for him if he couldn’t manage to sort his shit out anyway. I got him staying at mine, trying to dry out a bit, but he deals, snorts his product. If Charlie’s giving him it, then it seems like a prolonged battle uphill just to tumble back down again.”
Ryder waved his hand in the air and shuffled about inside the folder. “Kid, I got more money that I know what to do with. It’s sorted. It’s not a top-notch facility, is affordable even by your standards so as not to raise suspicion. You take the cash you have though, give it to your sister. If anyone’s looking, it needs to be where it usually is. You get me?”
“Yeah.” I scratched at my ear, thinking. “Charlie’s got tabs on me. Visually anyway.”
All three of us were quiet for a beat before Ryder spoke again. “Charlie’s my father, Shaun.”
My jaw dropped, astonished. Now that was something I’d never have guessed. Not once had I heard a peep of any kind of rumour, of Charlie having a son.
And oh shit - that made Chrissie his sister.
My predicament just got better and fucking better. Was I digging my own goddamned grave here, or what? How I ended up in one convoluted mess after another was beyond me, I simply couldn’t help myself.
“Definitely personal between you both, then?”
“Yes,” he agreed. “He’s left me alone so far but Charlie’s good at the waiting game and I reckon he’s waited long enough. He wants something I have. I’ve been back down here nearly two years now; my time is running out. I have far too much to lose if he comes after me.”
“Let’s get on with it then. I want out and I need it more now than ever.”
Martin coughed and bent forward in his chair. “This is not gonna be easy. You need to disappear for a while. Even then, whatever goes down is most likely gonna be loud and come straight to your door. You ready for that?”
“Who else?” Ryder had been watching me, studying me while Martin had talked. The guy could read me like a book and I felt ill at ease he could so easily. “Who else do I need to look out for? For you, I mean.”
I lowered my head to my chest not sure how honest I wanted to be. Then again, if there was a chance Ayden was going to get caught up in the crossfire, it was best I was straight about everything.
“I met a guy recently.”
Martin’s eyebrows shot up. “A guy?”
“Yeah, a guy. I like him, could be something there. No, fuck...there is something there. Like a whole lot of something.”
“Well, this is a surprise,” Ryder laughed. “This guy know what you’re into?”
“Kind of. I mean, I’ve been honest to a point. Told him I was making plans to get out. Haven’t lied about stuff when he’s asked, but he hasn’t asked all that much. Just the bits that matter. Like if I’m a junkie or not.”
Reaching over to the desk, Ryder grabbed a pen from the side and poised over the folder a second later when he asked; “What’s his name? He run the same circles as you?”
“No, no. It’s the bloke my sister is staying with just now. Ayden.”
The pen didn’t move like I expected it to, and I heard Martin sigh off to the side while Ryder didn’t write Ayden’s name on the folder. He didn’t look up at me either, just sat with white knuckles gripped around the non-moving pen. “You think it’s wise? Getting involved with someone right now? You strike me as a fuck and run kind of bloke, Gripp.”
Shrugging my shoulders, knowing exactly what he was getting at but feeling like I was missing a whole lot. “He makes me want this more, so much more. I can’t help what I f
eel, it’s thrown me off if I’m being honest. I know what I should do, but I can’t. He’s important for a reason and that’s all that matters for now.”
“Okay, okay.” Ryder jumped up and moved to empty the folder on the desk. “Let’s wrap this up.”
I followed him over and scanned over the contents spilled on the wood. He pushed a business card toward me. “Ben - rehab by Monday at the latest. Call Lesley on that number there, she’s expecting you.” Picking up the card I read the name before fishing out my wallet and shoving the card inside. “She’s my wife’s friend who’s willing to help, so do me a solid and get Ben there.”
Next were two train tickets to Edinburgh. “You’re taking Sophie up to the city. I’ve heard its great fun. Lord knows that girl could do with some laughs. I’ve booked a room somewhere as well. Of course, you won’t be there, but appearances must and all.”
“Ayden wants to take Sophie to his dads over the summer. I figured that would be a good deal for getting her away. He promised she’d be safe.” Ryder stood full height and slipped his hands to his waist, tipping his head back, peering up at the ceiling as if in exasperation. “What? I didn’t know you had all this planned. He offered, and it seemed like a good thing. She’s out the way, I need her to not be anywhere near me for a while and know she’s safe. Not fucking wandering about a strange city she doesn’t know.” I shoved the train tickets away from me.
“So, Ayden and Sophie will be away? That’s good, Ryder. Move on.”
Sighing loudly, he picked up the tickets. “You still need to have these on you and make it look like you’re going away for a bit of fun. Make it known to Charlie, open your wallet in front of him or something. Just make sure he knows you’re going away. The tickets are booked for the middle of next week. Is that doable for you?”
“Yes, I only have a pick up and one visit next week. Charlie runs to his dealers every two weeks with nothing in between. I have some days for an imaginary trip with my sister,” I scoffed and rolled my eyes at him. Honestly, the idea was absurd but who was I to argue, the man was helping.
Picking up the last card, Ryder handed it to me. “This is my number. Put it in your phone, under whatever the fuck you want except my name, then leave the card on the desk. Text me before you leave this office, so I have your number. The second one is Martin’s, do the same. I figure Lucca will give you his when you see him.”
I did so, setting his number in my contacts under the name Harold. Don’t ask me why, seemed funny at the time, but the way the air had turned frosty told me I was better keeping it to myself. Martin’s number went in as Marty, my fun over. Then I typed out a lame text that simply said, ‘Thank you, douche.’
He cracked a smile then turned to Martin. “You mind leaving us for a minute?” Off he went, not acknowledging me or his boss.
The second the door shut behind him, I about shit myself when I was bent over the desk so fast, my arm shoved high up to my shoulder blades, my cheek squashed to the lemon smelling wood, and Ryder plastered against my back. Not in a good, come fuck me kind of way either.
“Sophie and Ayden get caught up in any of your shit, I’ll come for you myself,” he hissed in my ear as he laid his full weight against me, my hips painfully pressing into the edge of the desk, my teeth gritting. I couldn’t move my head to agree with him so grunted in response. “When I let go, you’re gonna start talking. I want every single piece of info you have on Charlie, significant or otherwise, and I mean everything.”
I owed him that much so didn’t complain, it would be a weight off my shoulders to shed and share a burden. This guy was going to help me, and I was giving every means possible I could in order to walk away in one piece. When he let go, I eased up and straightened myself out.
Then I talked.
For the next forty-five minutes I gave Ryder every secret I had on Charlie, leaving nothing out, hoping it was enough. Hoping it was the key to my future and would set me free. When I was finished, Ryder grinned at me.
“I think Charlie’s going down. You ready to start over, Shaun?” Picking up his phone, he typed out a text as butterflies hammered around inside me. There was no turning around now. Dared I hope we could pull this off? “But first we need to go see Lucca. You need to see what you’re getting yourself into.”
Those words were not comforting words at all, did not sound good to my ears. “Now?”
Laughing, Ryder shook his head. “I’ll text you in the morning.”
Ayden
Two and a half hours.
I didn’t want to be an overbearing twat, but Sophie and Jake had been gone two and a half hours. Considering what her brother had said about wanting to get out of his life, I wasn’t all right with them being gone so long and not knowing where they were. They’d said they’d be an hour. How much shit did Sophie have to pack, when it seemed most of her stuff was already in the Loft? Jake had talked me into letting him take Sophie to collect the last of her belongings. I’d handed over the car keys reluctantly with assurances from Sophie that all would be well. There’d be no problems.
So, where the fuck were they?
I’d texted Jake fifteen minutes earlier and the prick hadn’t replied. I decided another ten minutes and I’d call one of them.
We were heading down to Beaufort in the morning, my dad saying that he and Laura would love to have us all over the holidays. I’d explained Sophie was pregnant and she needed a time out to make some decisions and to come to terms with the change her life had taken. My dad was quiet at the news, stating they would help with whatever Sophie needed, I had never doubted the offer wouldn’t come. I hadn’t divulged Jake was the father, wasn’t my admission to tell and I felt Jake owed it to my dad to tell him face to face, so I’d left the information out, and he’d never asked. I figured Laura and Taylor would most likely fawn all over Sophie and mother her, but maybe that’s what she needed because I knew she’d never had it in her past. There had been no mother figure growing up, just Shaun, and their brother while he was alive, and an apparently deadbeat dad who hadn’t stuck around for long. Beaufort was just what she needed.
Tapping my phone against my lips, I just about had a heart attack when it pinged.
Jake: Took Sophie for food. At cinema. Will do flat next week
Reading his message, I flopped onto the sofa, reassured both were fine. I hadn’t wanted to acknowledge the errant thoughts racing through my head. Shaun didn’t live in a very good area, some of the guys her brother ran around with weren’t all that pleasant by Sophie’s own admission, and it had me paranoid someone would try to start something with Jake, an unknown bloke with Shaun’s sister.
I burst out laughing in the quiet room, bet they were watching Thor.
Flicking on the tv, a night of mindless drivel would do me wonders, maybe even send me to sleep. I’d been a lazy arse all day, lying in bed, reading and playing stupid games on my phone. Funny how tiring doing nothing all day was. I found tv monotonous at the best of times, and I blessedly needed some of it.
My phone chimed another message and when I reached for it, I was surprised to see it was Shaun. I’d changed his name in my contacts, Gripp still leaving a sour taste in my mouth.
Shaun: Want some company? Might b last night I can c u 4 a while.
I knew what he meant. His plan was going ahead, he was making his moves soon. I had no illusions if he came around, I’d have him buck naked and doing all sorts of things I couldn’t speak aloud, not snuggling to sleep with him, no way. We would be a sweaty mess of exhaustion and bliss when we finally tumbled into slumber. Better than mind numbing tv any day.
Me: Yeah, sure. S & J at movies. Loft is clear.
Shaun: Not worried. Wanna c u.
He’d just left this morning, the fact he wanted to see me again so soon softened my attitude toward him, especially after that afternoon’s run in with the Chrissie woman.
Me: Come over.
Jumping from the couch, I gave the place a once over to make su
re it was tidy, not that it would matter to him, but still. I’d changed the sheets on my bed that morning, not wanting to lay about in cum stains and sweat all afternoon. Sniffing my armpits, I decided I was clean enough, no need to jump in a shower.
I was like a girl. So utterly ridiculous.
Fifteen minutes later the buzzer went, and I sauntered to the door like I had no care in the world and wasn’t gagging to get my hands on Shaun’s body. My nerves had morphed in a way I couldn’t explain and when he banged the front door, I jumped although I was expecting it. The possibility of getting some dick action took a dive and I admitted to myself it was just Shaun. All Shaun. The man who pulled my sensibility in all directions, seeing him again had my heart racing a marathon as it pounded wildly in my chest.
Throwing the door open, my eyes travelled the length of the man I wanted to get down on my knees for. He stood there, hands in his pockets, his flat cap low on his face so I couldn’t see his eyes. When he did look up, his face screamed sex and lust, his lips begging to be devoured. I grabbed at his coat and tugged him inside the Loft, not bothering to close the door before I had my mouth on his and was nudging him back against the hallway wall.
Inhaling heartily, his hands seized my waist before he drew away from me. “Fuck, Ayden...” He bumped his forehead against mine. “I didn’t come here for sex, but I’m not gonna say no.”
Kicking my foot out and banging the front door shut, I physically dragged him toward my room, not stopping to be a good host and offer him something to drink. Pushing at his chest when his legs hit the back of my bed, he fell backward managing to get his hands behind him so he wasn’t laying completely flat. Towering over Shaun, he tipped his head to look up at me, a cheeky grin gracing his face.
“What you got in mind?”