by Susan Reid
My heart began to pound. It was almost as if she had been watching me in the dream I had the other night from afar. I was confounded to understand why all of a sudden she was talking about this, when and how she had seen or began to notice any of this.
What had really happened to her last night? Was it more than just being possessed?
I then chuckled to lighten the mood on purpose, “Whatever we drank last night — never again.” I gestured with my hands out.
She smiled weakly, but her eyes showed she was telling me this with conviction, and it was something that was apparently at the forefront of her mind.
“Yeah, maybe so,” She then said as she chewed her lip and laughed a bit, but I could tell it wasn’t genuine.
It was quiet for a moment and I wasn’t sure what to think say or do.
“You know what I think though?” China then said moving closer to me and leaning against the bar counter with a sad smile.
“What?” I asked softly.
She inhaled slowly and looked upwards at the ceiling, as if she were thinking about her words, “I think that the reason you see these shadows is because of your aura. It attracts them to you, they see you so you see them but they can’t touch you for the same reason. The fact that you survived Katrina for one, given the circumstances you were in too; people tend to gravitate towards you automatically and I’ve always felt safe with you around me if that sounds weird.” She then said.
I was both puzzled and speechless.
Aside from this just not sounding like China, what could I even say or comment to that?
I studied her with more empathy and concern this time in picking up that China seemed sad, but I don’t know if it was for me or as a result of what happened to her last night.
I nodded and smiled, “No, it’s not weird, I’m flattered actually. I’d better go though, I’m gonna be late. I’ll call you when I’m on my way back.” I told her as I put the journal in my duffel bag and grabbed my purse.
I hoped to her it didn’t seem rude, but I just couldn’t do this. It wasn’t just thinking about what happened when we hugged, I felt as if I were going to cry again and I didn’t want to do it in front of her, not now anyway.
I quickly slid off the barstool and hitched the duffel bag over my shoulder and then searched my purse for my keys.
“Okay, be careful. I love you Star.” She called out as I headed towards the door with my car keys jingling in my hand.
With my hand on the doorknob I stopped and then turned to face her for a moment, feeling somewhat sorrowful inside myself. She came across as so vulnerable to me, almost looking like she was going to cry again too. I didn’t know what to do for her and I wished I did. This whole conversation had been awkward and saying ‘I love you’ to each other to top it off was eerie too, not that we never had before as best friends would feel about each other.
“I love you too China.” I smiled and then I left.
I brought the feather with me, tucking it securely in my journal where it stuck out like a bookmark, since it was nearly the size of my forearm from wrist to crook of my elbow.
As I drove away from the apartment parking lot and left the vicinity of the University, I thought of China and what she had said, and then I felt as if I were already gone for some strange reason. Gone as if not of this world anymore, like my entire existence would soon become nothing more than a light winked out of this life and I was no longer connected to anything or anyone. It was a different kind of disconnection that I had felt, even after learning of my parents’ disappearance and assumed deaths, and then the death of my grandmother.
Strange enough it was a fleeting feeling. The feeling passed once I hit traffic, but the lament of it all still weighed heavily and lingered in the back of my mind.
I was already half way to the Y, and could have kicked myself for not having checked my messages on my cell phone earlier. Phillip, one of the coaches working the weekend shifts, had left a message early this morning; that they were closing the YMCA early today at ten to repair some emergency electrical wiring issue in the gym, so I didn’t have to come in today but I would still get paid.
I thought of going over to the church again, but with sweat pants and a t-shirt I didn’t feel comfortable, just in case some kind of service may have been going on right now.
I wished I could talk to Drake.
I drove through a Starbucks drive-thru, getting a vanilla Chai, and not really wanting to head back to the apartment just yet. I sipped it, savoring the creamy warmth and sweet spicy flavor, as I drove to and parked in the already crowded parking lot at the B-line Trail. Though it was cold it was sunny out, I could use the long walk alone. I was certainly dressed for it and I had an extra hoodie in the trunk.
The fact that there were many other people out here right now, made me feel better about being alone anyway. Besides, I had a cell phone and pepper spray on my keychain so I was set…I think.
Joel sent a text saying he was just checking on me to see if all had gone well.
I texted, ‘hung over but happy’ and a smiley face back.
That was a total lie…more like beaten and terrified, and then I thought of him and number one on my bucket list again.
If I got a hotel room and asked him to meet me there…would he? I’m sure he’d get it but what would he even think of me past freaking out if I had propositioned him?
What if he was already seeing someone?
No, I didn’t want him to see my back, let alone have to explain the scratches.
I sighed and pushed that thought away as I got out of my Honda with my coffee, locking my purse in the trunk, and then began my solitary walk to do some heavy thinking and self-reflection about things that I didn’t want to even contemplate, let alone dredge up as reminders, but I had to —I needed to. For one, in addition to everything else, I wanted to figure out the whole matching tattoos that Cam had in common with that demon, but I guess I won’t know the answer to that until tonight.
I stopped in mid stride before I had even hit the dirt packed walking trail, paper coffee cup still to my lips, as I blew away the steam before taking a sip. It was as if someone had pulled the veil from a large photograph away and there were jumbled pieces like that of a puzzle, that I knew went together but it was a matter of matching up each side to form the larger picture.
Aside from being an incredibly gorgeous and beautiful guy, I remembered Cam’s sudden appearance at the hospice during the violent incident with the shadow demons. His eyes, even if it had been for a brief nanosecond, had been glowing and I remembered that distinctly. The electricity in the air around him was the exact same sensation that I felt in Professor Phillips office.
I noted the similarities of that detail right away, and that had been before we even met. He seemed awfully interested in what had happened to me that night too. Pressing for my side of the story and believing me as if he already knew what I was going to tell him or something. Not to mention not showing an ounce of surprise when I finally told him everything, and being so knowledgeable about angels and demons. Then again, so had mysterious Drake, and he didn’t have any tattoos on his forearms. In fact, the feather appearing in my room mysteriously didn’t show until after I had met Cam but it was there before I met Drake.
At the same time…each time that I felt that static heat and electric sensation in the air, and the night Cam had shown up out of nowhere…I had been saved. The shadows had been eradicated or took off in fear. Could Cam be…an Angel? Did he leave one of his feathers for me as a sign that he was watching out for me?
I remembered the strong sexual pull I felt with him at the diner too, and not that I’m an expert on hanging out with angels, but I don’t think wanting badly to do one was normal or appropriate either. Physically, I shouldn’t have been feeling that way at all. I mean, Drake was equally as gorgeous too but I didn’t feel like screwing him in the least. I instantly blushed; thoughts of angels, demons and sex were making me feel dirty and ash
amed now.
But looking at and adding up everything else; Cam had to be something supernatural and I wanted to believe he was a guardian angel, but I needed some kind of proof or validation that I could justify myself with my own eyes.
I also remembered that despite claiming to not know each other, it seemed like he and Drake did and they didn’t like each other either, which had me wondering about Drake now.
He shows up mysteriously in the church without a sound, his skin had some sort of visible faint glow beneath that I could definitely see, he was kind, gentle and wise and to top it off…my injuries had been healed miraculously when he touched me. But whether it was because I was in the church or in his presence, I couldn’t be sure.
He too spoke like a priest or that he had a lot of knowledge about faith, demons and angels and of course, his uncanny resemblance to Antonio Sabato Jr was something that I was beginning to think was merely my own opinion or something. No one else seemed to share that thought anyway, not even in the diner. If he was a demon, there was no way he would have been able to show up in a church…would he? Then again, he hadn’t been the one showing up at the right moment to basically save me either — Cam had. The only thing that didn’t make sense to me of everything that pointed towards Cam being an angel, was why he would have tattoos like that demon cop.
Ms. Hawthorne said a dark one was following me and I believed her, what she had written in the book that she gave me affirmed that she knew exactly what she was talking about, and she was indeed gifted. But she didn’t say it in a forewarning tone, which had me wondering if it had been a warning to protect myself or just an FYI. I wished I could sit and talk to her again. I felt sadness in my heart thinking about her, and then thinking about the conversation between me and China not long ago too.
My head spun dizzily as my thoughts raced a mile a minute and my heart began to thump erratically, as if I had just consumed ten cups of straight caffeine. I struggled to sort through these revelations and make the puzzle pieces of the giant photograph fit together and then make some logical sense of what kind of possible connection that Cam, Drake and that demon could have.
I took a long sip of my hot, vanilla chai and started in the opposite direction of the flow of walkers, joggers and their dogs; bent on just more or less walking than taking in any scenery, even though the small lake, plants and trees were breath-taking.
This was mid-October and it was already getting colder with each passing day. There were already numerous postings across the city for Halloween and pumpkin carving contests, places to get costumes and haunted houses and trails that businesses and the city were either sponsoring or setting up.
Halloween…perfect for the shadows to come out to play and blend in well, I thought to myself.
I heard the steady panting of a jogger, along with the steady crunching of gravel coming up behind me, and I casually moved out of the way to the outer edge of the walking trail. I would have figured that the jogger could have passed me up by now since I was walking, but they hadn’t so far. I turned to glance behind me and stopped cold.
There was no one behind me at all, and the movement of footsteps crunching and scraping against gravel and dirt instantly stopped.
Initially, I was rooted to the ground as my eyes frantically searched the area around me and then…something brushed past my hair, and whispered something in my ear that I couldn’t understand; leaving a foul stench behind that nearly made me gag. I slapped at the invisible source out of reflex to shoo it away and began to backup, while keeping a sharp eye out for some sort of movement, shadow or outline of something.
I spun around towards the source of the whisper, but saw nothing, not even another person.
Though my heart raced I continued on walking backwards, keeping my eyes open but hating to turn my back again to a now strangely empty trail behind me. I waited for a moment before turning on my heel and picking up the pace, with some serious speed walking, as I rounded the corner of a stand of narrow trees and bushes. Once past the foliage, I caught sight of a man sitting alone on one of the benches in a picnic area that faced the lake.
He was wearing a dark trench coat, his hair was dark and though he wore sunglasses — he seemed familiar to me right away.
He hadn’t taken notice of me yet, but I was so glad to see another person right now that I could care less who he was. All of a sudden, a group of three female joggers also appeared out of nowhere too, coming towards me from the opposite direction.
I walked off the trail and hesitated before heading towards the group of benches. The closer I got to this man, even though he still didn’t seem to hear or notice me walk up, the more I began to recognize him.
I was drawn to him and I felt the sudden urge to cry again. Though a bit apprehensive, I couldn’t help but smile big as I quickly approached him in relief.
“Drake?” I asked unsurely for the sake of mistaking the wrong guy. When he turned to face me, he instantly flashed a dazzling smile.
“Star?” He said almost expectantly in a welcoming and comforting tone that made me feel like I could fall into his arms and just cry for hours.
What were the odds that I would see him here just as I was thinking about him earlier? I mean, it was almost as if he already knew I was here and he was expecting me, as strange as that was to think.
He stood up to greet me and we shook hands.
“Fancy meeting you here. How are you?” He then asked.
“Just getting some exercise and meditation in,” I lied.
“We think alike I like that, have a seat,” He offered me and I sat down on the cold, wooden bench.
He hiked up his slacks and sat back down beside me, leaning back, crossing his legs and resting his arm along the top of the bench behind me.
I concentrated and took note of the air around us trying to pick up on something, anything that I could compare to what I felt around Cam.
So far, nothing.
“How is everything going for you?” he then asked with his entire attention focused on me.
I inhaled a deep breath and exhaled it out slowly.
“That well huh?” he joked, and it actually made me laugh.
“There’s the sweet melody of your laughter that I like to hear,” He smiled.
I blushed and licked my cold lips, wishing I had put on some chap stick.
Inadvertently, I glanced back down the path that I had just emerged from, thinking about what I had just experienced in broad daylight and out in public — and of course, no one else saw or heard anything yet again.
“I wish I’d known I’d see you, I would’ve gotten coffee for you too,” I raised my still steaming vanilla chai, though it was now only half full.
He smiled at the gesture.
“I’m glad I did run into you though. There’s something about you that I feel safe and connected to.” I confessed to him.
“Safe? Is everything alright with you?” He asked with genuine concern.
I shook my head and swallowed, setting my cup down beside me, “I don’t think it’ll ever be alright but if I can deal with it better it’ll help and I am trying to, but it’s been getting a lot harder.” I told him.
He took in what I said with deep thought and nodded. I took that same moment to really study and look at him closely then too. The faint luminescence under his skin was still there and I wasn’t sure what to make of it.
Despite the fact that he wore sunglasses, which I hated because I couldn’t see his eyes right now, I tried to examine every other aspect of him. His face, his skin, his hair, the shape of body even in the trench coat but I really had no idea what I was looking for…wings I guess, and of course there were none that I could see.
His brows furrowed whimsically at my obvious perplexed expression.
“Is something wrong? Do I have something on my face?” He smiled and asked so politely, while reaching a hand to his cheek at the same time.
I sighed and shook my head, blushing like an idiot
, “No you don’t. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stare at you like that.” I smiled and turned to look out across the pond.
“Ah, well thank goodness then. Come on, take a walk with me; I want to tell you a story,” He then said as he stood up and reached out a gentlemanly hand to me with a smile.
I didn’t hesitate to take it and let him ease me up, as I grabbed my coffee cup in hand before we headed for the trail and continued on in the direction I had been going in the first place. Again, there was a refreshing tingle coursing through me when our hands touched and I immediately felt…calmed.
I glimpsed up at his face in my periphery from time to time again in wonder as we walked together side by side.
“Drake, can I ask you something?” I then began.
“Of course.” He replied.
“You said you were a teacher. What do you teach if you don’t mind my asking?” I then asked.
He paused, “Theology.” He answered simply.
I nodded figuring that he’d say that naturally, “Where?” I then asked looking up at him.
“I travel. I’m self-employed, I simply go where I’m needed or requested. Why do you ask?” He then smiled.
I felt silly interrogating him like this, “I was just curious.” I then said with a smile.
He nodded.
We continued to stroll together and all the while, there was no repeat of the incident from earlier back there. No foul stench, no whispers or invisible joggers. It was like I was…protected by simple virtue of being with Drake — unless it had been him that had been playing games with me back there, which could be probable as well. I stayed wary on the inside making sure not to show it on the outside.
“Are you sure you’re alright?” Drake then asked.
He casually placed a gentle hand against my back in a comforting gesture, and I jumped a bit with a soft gasp — there was that feeling again with him. I literally felt a cool shiver begin to spread across my back like a relieving ointment. My eyes instantly went to his face, hoping to see something as supernatural as his touch.