Fifth a Fury (Goddess Isles, #5)

by Winters, Pepper

  Grabbing his hand, I raised his arm and splayed his fingers that’d seized from his long siesta. “Where do you want to touch me?”

  Goosebumps prickled as he licked his lips. “Every fucking where.”

  I felt that sentence.

  Every word had fingers, running nails through my hair.

  Every vowel had a tongue, licking between my legs.

  I shuddered. “How is it that you affect me this much?”

  His gaze dropped from my eyes to my lips to my chin to my breasts. “It’s only fair.” He gave me a pained expression. “I’m hard again and it hurts.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I’m not. I’d rather feel a thousand agonies as long as I never hurt you again.”

  “You never hurt me.”

  He scowled, his facial features not as stilted as before, moving with the same arrogance and authority that made me fall head over heels with a mercurial monster. “We both know I did.” His gaze rose to mine before feasting on my chest again. “I know where I want to touch you.”

  I sucked in a breath, raising my breasts, revealing puckered nipples beneath his borrowed shirt and fluttery, turned-on inhales. “Where?”

  “I want to cup you, pinch you. I want to feel your weight and—”

  He choked as I sat forward and clamped his entire hand around my breast. I closed his fingers around me. I added pressure so he’d feel every fullness and feminine part of me.

  “Jesus Christ.” His eyes snapped closed and the sheet covering his legs tented as his erection sprang to full attention.

  “Wow, I really can’t leave you two alone for five minutes.”

  I jerked and let Sully’s hand fall. The weight of his arm and the lack of mobility meant it crashed to the bed and bounced.

  He groaned as the IV line caught on the sheets.

  “Oh, God, I’m so sorry, Sully.” I stood and bowed over him, rearranging his arm so it lay nice and straight alongside his body. He chuckled through tight teeth. “It’s fine. I’m fine. Stop fussing.” He looked past me, narrowing his eyes at Louise. “You must be my doctor.”

  “I am.” She came closer, studiously ignoring the stiffness between Sully’s legs and the fact that we’d been caught fondling after I’d confessed to sex and a kiss—both that’d had disastrous results.

  Louise gave me a look and rolled her eyes again. “You both need to learn some self-control.” Her voice slipped from strict into bemused. “Honestly, don’t even think about sex or any version of it for at least a couple of months.”

  “A couple of months?” Sully’s shock made me chew on a laugh. “Yeah, that isn’t going to work.”

  “It will take you eight weeks minimum to walk again, let alone have the stamina to enjoy intercourse.”

  “I’ll be walking in seven days.”

  “Yeah, okay.” Louise didn’t roll her eyes this time but her tone gave all the sarcasm she needed. “If you do, you will literally be classified as a miracle in the medical world. Even people in a coma for ten days take weeks to be rehabilitated. You were out for a lot longer.”

  Sully’s jaw clenched and pure determination glittered in his threatening stare. His chest etched with stark muscles as he gathered every shred of strength and eased a few inches off his pillow. His arms even moved a little, struggling to wedge onto his elbows only to slip away as he collapsed. “Tell me I can’t do something and it only makes me prove otherwise.”

  Louise cocked her head. “I’m impressed.” Moving closer to his bedside, she gave me a quick smile before slipping into professional mode. “What else can you move? Are you aware of your bodily functions? Do you feel the pressure of your bladder? What about any irregular electrical impulses in your limbs? Are your muscles contracted or at ease? Does sound bother you? What about your sight? Restored to full ability or hazy?”

  Even my ears rang with her questions but Sully seemed to be evolving from a man who could barely talk into a quick-witted, vastly intelligent scientist who I had no doubt would prove her diagnosis completely incorrect.

  He would walk well before two months had passed.

  And when he does...he’s marrying me.

  “I can wriggle my toes. I am aware of my bodily functions. I want that damn catheter out and something to eat. I have a twitch in my left calf that won’t stop and my right shoulder blade has a stitch. I can hear perfectly fine so would appreciate you keep your volume appropriate and I can see 20/20. Anymore questions?” He smirked, looking far too smug and entirely delicious.

  He seemed so alive.

  So...vivid.

  How could he return so him when only an hour ago he’d still been a silent stranger sleeping beside me?

  Louise returned his smile. “I’m glad you seem on the mend, Mr. Sinclair.”

  “I appreciate your care, Ms...”

  “Maldon.” Louise bent and touched his hand in official greeting. “Louise Maldon.”

  Sully nodded before looking me up and down. “I’ve answered your questions, now answer mine. Is Eleanor okay?”

  “Me?” I frowned. “Why on earth wouldn’t I be okay?”

  Sully’s gaze darkened to a self-condemning navy. “Let’s count the ways. Last time I saw you, you were fighting off my brother. Before that you were fighting exhaustion from elixir. And before that you were fighting off your own heart attack while I tried to get us off this goddamn island.”

  “Wrong.” I sniffed. “Last time you saw me, I’d just been on your lap and you had the audacity to die on me.”

  “Don’t change the subject, Jinx.” He glared at Louise. “Is she okay? Did I hurt her? Did Drake hurt her? Is there any long term damage?”

  Louise glanced at me warily, most likely wondering what sort of messed up relationship we shared. Slowly, she answered, “Eleanor is made of strong stuff, Mr. Sinclair. She has spent every night by your side. She’s stayed steadfast and hopeful and has been an asset to my team assisting in your care.” Louise looked at Sully, spilling my secrets. “Her shock when you suffered tachyarrhythmia unbalanced her a bit and depression had set in with your prolonged state but...she’s resilient and it won’t cause lasting effects. Not now you’re awake.”

  I scowled, wishing she hadn’t passed on my own flaws and maladies. Knowing Sully, he’d hyper focus on my emotional well-being as well as my physical. He’d take on more guilt. He’d do his best to look after me when it was him that needed looking after.

  I dared meet his vicious stare. He might no longer have goddesses in his control or sleazy guests to entertain but he was still a man used to power and obedience. “I’m fine, Sully. Don’t make this about me—”

  “It’s because of you that I’m alive.”

  “And it’s because of you that I’m alive.”

  “It’s because of me that all of this happened.”

  “How are his legs?” I asked Louise, changing the subject, not ready to have a squabble in front of her. It seemed the longer Sully was awake, the more energy he had to expend. I understood the feeling. Every second that ticked past, I grew itchy. The desire to run and dance and swim hadn’t left but now it’d morphed to more sexual desires. I wanted to be close to him. I wanted heat and wetness and every dominant, aggressive lust that drove us mad for each other.

  Abstinence was going to be the hardest thing.

  Celibacy when both our bodies hungered for touch and reaffirmation that we were alive would be yet another painful battle.

  “Don’t change the subject,” Sully growled.

  Louise chuckled and pushed me away a little. Bending, she grasped the sheet resting over Sully’s hips. “May I?”

  His glower switched to her. “To remove the catheter? Fine.”

  “Not yet, but yes, I will remove that.”

  “Then why—”

  She pulled the sheet down, revealing Sully’s erection had abated enough not to drag our attention directly between his legs and instead captured our stare on other parts of him.

  I
gasped.

  Sully jerked, his gaze flying over the state of his legs.

  I’d grown used to his wounds. I’d given him sponge baths and even carried in a bucket of water from Nirvana one night, hoping a rinse in his favourite waterfall would somehow cleanse him enough to wake up.

  His face turned white with horror. “Fuck me.”

  “That’s another reason you won’t be walking within a week, Mr. Sinclair.” Louise pointed at his shattered ankle, broken toes, and fracture tibia. Not that they were broken anymore. The cast came off a couple of weeks ago but the bruising still hung around and the withering of muscle around the injuries made it look far, far worse.

  His other leg had suffered a broken femur and the harpoon wound had finally knitted together, the stitches and adhesive had dissolved until only a red scar remained. No more blood or infection but discolouration and lack of exercise had left his leg in a bad state of disrepair.

  He swallowed hard. “Will I be able to walk at all?”

  “You should. In time.” Louise slipped into a quick and digestible spiel. “Your injuries were extensive but your bones have knitted back together while you’ve been unconscious. I suggest you stay off them for another few weeks to ensure there are no new fractures, but the surgery on your ankle has stabilised the joint and there are no serious complications that I can foresee when you do start walking.” She dropped the sheet with a gentle sigh. “Along with the trauma to your legs, you sustained a few cracked ribs from CPR. They might be tender as you begin to move. I must request that you listen to your pain levels and take rehabilitation seriously. The faster you push yourself, the more damage you will cause. Slow and steady is the quickest way to normalcy.”

  Pulling away, she smiled at both of us. “I’ll call the kitchens to arrange some food. I’ll be back soon to remove the sensors and, of course, the catheter.” She left with a gentle squeeze on my hand as she passed by. “Good luck keeping him in bed.”

  I smiled before sitting on the edge of Sully’s mattress. He surprised me as his hand turned upside down, his fingers wriggling for me to link with him. His willpower to no longer be villa-bound was impressive.

  Placing my palm on his, we both sucked in a breath, suffering the familiar tingles and longing.

  “Thank you, Eleanor,” Sully murmured. “For everything.”

  I squeezed his fingers hard. “Thank you...for coming after me to Geneva and for not dying on me.”

  He flinched as if I’d said something that caused physical pain.

  That couldn’t happen.

  I couldn’t allow his thoughts to stray to the past. What was done was done. It was gone. Time had ticked forward and I’d erased what I could. From this day forward, I didn’t want to talk about his brother or his goddesses or any of the violent crimes I’d read online about him in Jakarta.

  We needed a fresh start.

  Bracing myself for his temper, I said quietly, “Can I ask you a question?”

  His gaze caught mine, still brittle from me thanking him. Brittle because he believed he didn’t deserve thanks. Too riddled with condemnation to move on.

  When he didn’t answer, I scooted closer and pulled my hand free from his. Before he could argue, I cupped his cheek instead. His skin was warm instead of cold. Where I touched hummed with love and connection. “When you were unconscious, what was it like?”

  His eyebrows raised as if he hadn’t expected that. His jaw worked as he swallowed and chose his words carefully. “It was dark.”

  “Were you aware that you couldn’t wake up?”

  “Yes.”

  “Was it scary?”

  “Petrifying.”

  “So for six weeks, you’ve been locked in a black cage that you couldn’t escape.”

  He flinched again. “I suppose.”

  “Could you hear me? Feel me?”

  “Sometimes. Not always. Sometimes...the dark would become too thick and I’d lose myself to it. For a while, I was too deep to do anything. I wasn’t even aware I was still alive.”

  My whole body ached for him. I couldn’t imagine anything harder. To be denied company and care. To be dead to a world you couldn’t return to.

  “What’s this about, Eleanor?” He pressed his cheek into my palm, twisting his head to kiss me gently. “I’m back now. Whatever I lived through is over.”

  I smiled, glad he’d fallen into my trap. “Precisely.” I stroked his jaw before slipping my fingers through his longer, wilder hair. The length was a deeper ebony after not being exposed to sunlight and salty oceans for so long.

  He frowned even though he shuddered and a groan rumbled in his chest as I petted and stroked. “I don’t get your point.” His lips twitched. “I just woke from a coma and my brain is broken. Give a man a break and speak plainly.”

  “Your intelligence levels surpass most of us, even if you’ve just woken up.”

  He turned his head again, nipping at my wrist as I continued caressing his hair. “Black and white, Jinx. Spit it out.”

  “See, there’s the thing, Sully. There is no more black and white.” I dropped my hand, ensuring he focused entirely on what I was about to say. Not an ultimatum, but a suggestion. A request given from the heart but enforced with rigid determination because it was for his own good. “You heard what I said while you were still unconscious. I sent away the girls, the guests, gave your animals a new sanctuary, and deleted everything I could from your old life...with Cal’s help of course. I did that without your permission, and I’m still not entirely sure how you feel about it, but...just like you’re no longer in that dark oppressive cage, your past life has gone too. I need you to let it go. Let all of it go. If we stand any chance at being happy, you can’t keep recalling what you did or what happened between us before this precise moment. Promise me, you’ll stop. That you won’t let it eat away at you.”

  “You’re under the impression that I care what I did.” He narrowed his eyes, looking eerily similar to the man who’d told me humans couldn’t have two sets of rules. One for mankind and one for animals. The one who used such black and white rules to exploit his own species.

  This was too heavy a conversation to have when he’d just woken, but I could see the shadows haunting his gaze. The sins he still carried. The belief that he still didn’t deserve me or have a chance at true joy.

  “I think you do care...far too much.”

  “About you yes, but not about anyone else.” His tone was cool, wary.

  “I’m sorry but I see straight through your lies.” I smiled to soften my barbed sentence. “I know who you are now, Sully. I know that you bury that part of yourself because your trust has been broken far too many times and you’ve seen the worst of what humans are capable of. But...I’ve read your emails. I’ve seen the generous donations to cancer research and philanthropy that you do. Your company is the best in the world for its aid to struggling countries. You gift breakthrough medicine instead of charging a fortune for it. You’ve taken other big Pharma to court over withholding drugs that can eradicate certain diseases and won. You’re a good man—”

  “Stop.” His hand raised a little off the mattress, gaining more height than last time, his strength already surpassing anything I’d hoped. “I understand what you’re trying to do, and I appreciate your attempt at wiping the slate clean, but allow me to put your mind at rest.”

  He waggled his fingers again, waiting for me to place my hand in his. The moment our palms kissed, he squeezed tight, making me wince with his newfound power. “First, I’ll tell you how I feel about you releasing my goddesses, removing the guests, and rehoming my rescues.”

  I tensed at the unrelenting authority in his tone. I waited for his annoyance and admittance that I’d overstepped. That he would buy more girls soon and intended to continue business as usual once he was healed.

  “I’m grateful to you, Eleanor.” He squeezed my hand again. “So fucking grateful that you untangled my life when I was prepared to do it myself. You were th
e reason I was able to wake up—knowing that at least a part of what I’d done wrong had been righted. You’re correct that I couldn’t keep doing what I did. That I can no longer take advantage of a life, regardless that that is how the world works for so many unlucky creatures.”

  He cleared his throat. “As for my donations, I won’t give you a false picture of me and admit I have some secret superhero complex to cure and care for the human race. I don’t. I donate because it paints my company in a better light, gives us more leverage in human testing, and increases our bottom line.”

  I opened my mouth to argue but he cocked his head and murmured, “Let me finish.”

  I pursed my lips and nodded.

  “You might think you’ve figured me out after going through my correspondence, but I am still the same man who first bought you. Yes, my ethics have improved somewhat. And yes, I will no longer use loopholes for my gain. But despite my new appreciation for all life and not just animals, I still find mankind abhorrent. I still despise overpopulation. I still believe the majority are spineless, selfish bastards that are a plague upon resources. However, there are enough who strife for equals rights for all—enough who aren’t greedy, vain, and cruel. So because of them, because of you, I will respect certain boundaries that I didn’t follow before.”

  He licked his lips, his gaze focused and fierce on mine. “As for not reliving the past, I can’t promise that. I deserve to feel guilt for what I’ve done. I don’t believe I’ve paid enough penance, even at the hands of my brother or the past six weeks in a black hole. You can’t take it personally if I struggle to accept your unconditional affection for me. You can’t ask me to forget because I don’t want to forget. I want to be better. I want to remember, so I don’t make the same mistakes because I fucking refuse to put you or any creature of mine in danger again. Do you get that? Can you accept that? You have my word that I want to be happy. I want to be happy with you. It might take time for me to forgive myself, but as long as you are there, then I know I can be the best kind of man because you make me better and you’ve already given me more joy than I’ve ever known.”