Fate Uncertain

by Kim Cleary

  A young man rapped his knuckles against the metal tabletop and got everyone's attention. "I agree. We will not turn ourselves into the monsters we're hiding from, which means, we can't stay here."

  Del bristled at the word monster, but she kept quiet. I scanned the faces in the room. Most heads nodded and turned to listen to the young man.

  The young man continued. "Even if we don't release the captives. The searching squads will find us soon. Every attempt gets closer. I know a place we can go. The train line will take us there. It's a small town, about ten miles away and it's still on the ley line."

  "It's too close." Aidan spoke, his voice loud, confident and deep.

  Someone snorted. "Here five minutes, and he thinks he knows everything."

  Aidan blushed crimson. He swayed but continued speaking confidently. "I've read about a town, burnt to the ground after everyone in it died from the illness. It's thirty miles away and on the ley line. Only things left standing are the cathedral and the pub – both with large underground cellars. People don't visit, not even the army, as it's known to be haunted."

  "Haunted by who?" Someone called out.

  "What is this place called, salt something?" Liliwen's forehead wrinkled as if she'd read something similar and was trying to pull the memory to the front of her brain.

  "Saltpetre Way. It's on a river too, so there will be fresh water."

  "Show me where this place is." Liliwen pushed the largest map in front of Aidan.

  "I already checked." Aidan reddened. "It's not on the map. It's obvious we can't stay here, that's why I tried to find somewhere else we could go." He dropped his gaze to the ground.

  Del looked up sharply. She grabbed Aidan's hand. "We? You're not going anywhere but home with me, young man."

  He snatched his hand away. "I want to see the place for myself."

  "You can visit later."

  Aidan stepped closer towards Liliwen. "I'm not scared. Mum, I belong here. And they need me. I can help, I can be myself here."

  Liliwen gently brushed her hand across Aidan's back. His shoulders lifted a fraction and he leaned closer towards her.

  "If it's not on the map, how do you know it existed?" Liliwen’s tone was gentle, a bond between the two obvious.

  It was a fair question. Aidan acknowledged it with a nod. "I've read about it. All the maps we have were printed more recently. I can't find one that was printed before the illness decimated the town. The oldest map I found, shows a cathedral at a place called Saltpetre Downs. But that's all, just the ruins of a cathedral."

  The young man who spoke earlier, nodded rapidly. "It's not the only place that’s disappeared from maps. If the cathedral is still marked, it was a notable building."

  A hum of questions rose from the group of spirits and undead surrounding us.

  Del's shoulders fell; she seemed stunned into silence.

  I pushed my way closer to the utility bench until I was close enough to rest against it.

  Aidan saw me. "Dad has to tell the truth when he gets back. Tell him. He has to tell the truth."

  Del hugged her son. "You can tell him yourself, when we get home."

  "Mom. You don't listen to me. I'm not a kid anymore." Aidan spoke through gritted teeth. "I've never been a normal kid, have I? People here can teach me. Professor Warburton, Dr. Graham, they've taught me more in a few days than high school has in a few years."

  "You need your medicine—"

  "I need it for your world. I don't need it here. " Aidan stared back at his mother. "Here, I belong as I am."

  The hum of conversation quieted. People moved away. No one wanted to be a part of this painful exchange between mother and son. No one including me, but I couldn't see anyway to escape. Aidan held his chin high, his feet planted wide apart. I hardly knew this boy, but my chest expanded with pride at his courage. His face wore a don’t-mess-with-me determination.

  Del's pained stare rested on me. She pointed towards Aidan. "Tell him he needs to come home. He's only fourteen, for God's sake."

  Aidan glared at his mother, his hands scrunched into tight fists at his sides. Del rocked slightly, clutching her arms to her chest. She wanted me to support her, but I couldn’t. I'd only been here a matter of hours and I felt it too. The belonging. Not having to pretend. These felt like my people too, much more than those that lived up above and called themselves the only ones alive. I cleared my throat. Whatever I said wouldn’t matter.

  No way was this going to end well.

  Chapter 18

  I lifted my shoulders. "You could talk about it some more, talk with Ed. Aidan has thought this through, and he’s intelligent—"

  Del raised her palm to silence me. She gave a short, disgusted snort. "What would you know? You're not a mother. You’re not even…" She swallowed several times. I guess she was about to add ‘you’re not even normal’. I couldn’t argue with that. "You can't possibly imagine the responsibility, the love..."

  Silence hung between us. Her barb, unnecessarily cruel. She would never accept or understand my responsibility for the dead. She couldn't know how many people I'd loved and lost. She’d no right to assume her grief at the thought of Aidan moving away hurt more than every loss I’d ever known.

  Grief and loss, I understood. I forgave her immediately. Aidan screwed his eyes tightly shut, his clenched fists shook at his sides. They both hurt. If Aidan gave in and went home, it wouldn't be long before resentment damaged their relationship. I'd try and talk to Del later. No words would get through the anger and pain she felt now. It wouldn’t be forever. Aidan wanted to learn. Maybe I could get her to think of it as going away to university to study.

  Liliwen fixed her piercing stare on me. "How long do you think we've got?"

  "I have no idea. I'm not connected with the military, and I don't know how they think."

  "But you have friends among the leadership."

  Glynn.

  Never far from my thoughts or heart. His face from our tunnel meeting raced into my brain. An ache worse than any pain from broken ribs wound deep into my chest. I gripped the bench to hold myself upright. "He's not popular with Colonel Asher."

  "It's not just Asher." Owen's deep voice boomed from the surgery door. "We could remove him, and still be targeted by authorities that feed on fear."

  Liliwen and Dr. Graham rushed to his side. He brushed them away.

  My hands twitched with frustration. Glynn was already suspicious. He’d be trying to investigate Asher even if he were locked in a cold dank cell. I didn’t know where the army base was, didn't know how to get there, and couldn’t expect to just walk in unannounced and start talking with Glynn again.

  A cough at my ear dragged my thoughts back to Owen and his people.

  As much as it grated, finding Glynn would have to wait. These people needed help to save themselves.

  "So, you agree?" My gaze flit around the room, I couldn't bring myself to look him in the face. "You have to move from here?"

  Owen seemed to see right through me, to sense my fear. "Like Liliwen said, no one is going to kill anyone. That's not what we do, not who we are." He shifted his gaze to Aidan, nodded. "Saltpetre Way. I remember hearing about it. The whole town burnt to ashes in the forest fires, a few years after the illness coiled its way across the world. The Cathedral and the old stone inn are all that survive." He glanced back at me. "We will let the captives go, as soon as everyone has got away and we can do so safely."

  Owen wobbled, he fell to his knees against the doorjamb. I ran with a few others to his side, helped him to his feet, and guided him back to bed. I helped to straighten his legs and plumped up the pillow behind his head.

  As I stepped away, he grabbed my hand. "Not everyone here is strong enough to make the move with us. Some of the weakest spirits won’t attempt it, but they don’t want to be alone either. Will you help them cross to the Shadow Glades, or beyond?

  "I will help if I can." A trickle of cold drizzled down my back. "The dead man sitti
ng with Ed in the dormitory, who is he?"

  "He said his name is Simon. I fear he is not adapting."

  "He begged for my help."

  "He and some others may prefer to quicken their exit rather than wait here or elsewhere to die permanently." Owen grabbed my hand again. "I see it troubles you. We've been together a long time. I don't want to destroy their bodies either. The prospect sickens me, but the alternative worries me more. I won’t ask you to do it."

  I released my breath. I could accompany a willing spirit across the veil into the Shadow Glades. But the only way to end everything for a living corpse was to destroy their body, and that was the end. There would be no gentle ever after in the Shadow Glades or the Realm of the Dead.

  Owen still gripped my hand. "Will you help me soothe their way? A prayer from you will make a difference."

  "I’m hardly the best person—"

  Owen sat up and embraced me. "Meagan, none of this is your fault, and you can help."

  Almost paralyzed with self-doubt, I wriggled away from Owen. But the strengthening spell gurgled awake and some of the tightness in my shoulders eased. "Of course. When?"

  "Soon. The raids will increase now."

  "I’ve made it worse for you." I dropped my chin to my chest. I wanted to help and all I’d done was made things harder.

  He shook his head. "It was coming anyway."

  Hugging the hospital blanket around me, I slumped into an empty seat against the wall in Echo Den's main assembly area. The conversation with Owen repeated in my head. The relocation was now even more urgent thanks to my involvement in the diversion raid. I’d agreed to help his weaker people cross to the Shadow Glades, and I'd do it no matter what it cost me. Simon begged for my help too, but it was one thing to accompany a willing spirit across the veil into the Shadow Glades, quite another to kill a living undead.

  Two fingers tapped against my shoulder. I lifted my head and found myself gazing into the eyes of the undead soldier, Simon.

  "I'll stay." His face was set in a mask of stillness. "Do what you need to do with the spirits. I'll stay here with the walking dead who've had enough."

  "What good will that do?"

  "I'll make sure the military who find us, kill us all."

  "How will you make sure the military find you?"

  "They'll be back. In less than twenty-four hours, early morning." He crossed his arms against his chest. "I'll take everyone out, we’ll ambush the squad and they will retaliate with greater force. It will provide a distraction to cover the move as well as end it for those of us who want it over."

  "Why have they released you?" I gazed past him, looking for Ed and the rest of the captive soldiers.

  He shrugged. "No point keeping me locked up, is there."

  "Go with them." I circled my hand around the room. "You can help. They need young strong people—"

  He shook his head. "No. I can't. I can't live like this. They're not people. I'm not people anymore. And I never will be again. I want to end it."

  "You know that if you're killed now—"

  He grimaced. "You know that I'm already dead, don't you?"

  "You're not dead. You can carry on living, continue serving the people like you always have. Now these people instead of those you used to serve."

  He stepped away from me. I grabbed his arm. "What I'm saying is, if you are killed again, then that's it. You won't become a spirit, there'll be nothing for you on the other side."

  "I don't want to be a spirit. I never expected there to be anything on the other side. I want this over with."

  He shook off my hand and marched away toward a group of people. He spoke with them. There was head nodding, and they glanced at me. Their faces relaxed.

  At least I didn't have to kill anyone. I pulled away from the milling crowd. Simon gifted me liberation. Instead of a wave of relief, my skin prickled with caution. The trip into the Shadow Glades would be tough enough, and would drain my energy. I needed every ounce of strength for when I made my way back to the army base. The army base and Glynn. I had to find him, persuade him.

  Word must have traveled around the group that some would stay behind to create a distraction. I saw no tears, heard no arguments, but a persistent sadness crept underneath the buzzing activity in Echo Den. All hands that could, collected possessions and dropped them into railway carts.

  The weakest spirits drifted closer to me. Hopeful. Yearning. Word traveled quickly about my escorted trips to the Shadow Glades, too.

  "I misjudged you," Liliwen said.

  I wiped my face, surprised to find the back of my hand wet with tears.

  "I will help as much as I can, but I'm not sure..." A wave of dizziness washed over me.

  Liliwen knelt at my side. "You are torn between returning to your man and helping us."

  "No." I gripped my hands together in my lap. "Yes. But I will help of course. It's my job. It's what I do, what I'm here for. I'd like to come with you to Saltpetre Way. I'd like to see you all safely in your new home, but I daren't delay finding Glynn any longer."

  She rested a cool hand on my shoulder. "I have a suggestion. Go with all of the walking dead but one to the distraction point, then let one of them show you to the stockade at the army base."

  "Simon won't do that. He's determined to lead the diversion and ensure everyone is blown to bits. Besides Ed or one of the others can show me. You are releasing them, aren't you?"

  "Yes. But separately. We will guide them to a release point from which they can make their own way back to the base."

  "What about Del?"

  "No reason to hold her any longer. She will leave with her husband."

  But not her son. Liliwen waited for my response, but I sat in silence. Del would have a hard time leaving without Aidan.

  Liliwen coughed politely. "Another knows the way. He will do it, and he will return to us if he can."

  "It's too risky, if anyone sees him—"

  "It's a fair exchange. You are taking a risk, he will take one in return. You've met him, his name is Bill, and he is ready."

  I nodded, couldn't think of anything to say that would make any difference. "I have to try and persuade Del to leave without Aidan. Not looking forward to that."

  "Aidan is speaking with his father now. Ed will persuade Del. He's not happy either, but he can see his son thrives here. It will not be forever. He will work and learn, then return."

  If he didn't get killed in a raid. I kept that unhappy thought to myself.

  Seven spirits now hung close to Liliwen. A young boy, an old man, three women, another young boy, an older woman. I lifted my head to acknowledge them. "Give me a few moments. I need to work out the best way."

  I closed my eyes to shut out the busy cavern. My father told me to be careful crossing between the world of the living and the Shadow Glades. He said the fabric would get thinner, the crossing would become easier, and a day would come when I struggled to locate the boundary between the two worlds. The first time, I'd been desperate to save Evie. I'd barged my way into the Shadow Glades using brute force. The last time I visited, I'd pushed aside a thin gauze curtain.

  The seven spirits milled around Liliwen and myself. Their faces full of hope, their desperation seeping into my pores. What would happen if I made seven trips, one after the other? How much of the gauze would remain?

  How would I take them all? Back and forth until the veil between our world and the Shadow Glades was ripped asunder forever. What would that do to me?

  Dear Haebeth. I couldn’t swallow the ache from the back of my throat. I’d never been one for falling to my knees and begging for favors, but perhaps I needed her help more than ever now.

  No matter that it was my duty to help these people, I had to get back to Glynn.

  Chapter 19

  Maybe I could take all seven spirits to the Shadow Glades at the same time.

  The idea drifted in my brain. They wouldn't be struggling against me. It would be easier then dragging a reluct
ance spirit all the way to the doorway into the Realm of the Dead, and I'd done that before. It was worth a shot.

  The mossy gray color of the Shadow Glades came quickly to mind. The silvery gray stones, handsome among gray-green lichen, replaced Echo Den. Weathered Stone angels and broken headstones replaced Owen's people packing everything of value into the railway carts.

  This time no curtain hung between this world and me. Not even the thinnest layer of gauze.

  The lichen shone with vibrancy, the dampness in the air penetrated deep into my bones. Instead of bare telegraph wires, majestic black ravens called overhead. An adrenalin rush ignited every cell in my body with an intense zeal. The changes had to be due to the conjunction of the ley lines amalgamating power in this area. This is what I felt when we first walked into the tunnels, the ley lines saying hello, their power flowing freely in and around my body.

  I gestured for the spirits hovering around me. "Stay very close. Hold on to each other or me if you can. We will cross into the Shadow Glades together. I haven't got time to take you all the way to the Realm of the Dead, but you will easily find it. If you want to go through the door, it will call to you."

  The oldest woman, the strongest in the group, pushed the two young boys close to me. She gripped my arm with icy cold fingertips and wrapped herself around them. The others pressed close around my body. Their desire drove me forward. I fought back a feeling I was encased in an ice floe, trapped and bobbing in icy cold seas I couldn't control. No curtain hung, but something marked the boundary between the worlds, a thin layer of gelatin for me to part.

  Through to the other side, we fell onto the moss. The spirits peeled away from me. One by one they gazed at the endless moor bleeding into a silver sky. They gawked at iridescent black ravens cawing on telephone poles and wires that stretched from one side of the horizon to the other.

  Nothing had changed since my last visit, and yet everything seemed different.

  Color crept across the spirits and they took the shape of the people they used to be. The children hopped across the stones. They erupted into spontaneous laughter and my soul filled with confidence for them.