These Ruthless Deeds

by Tarun Shanker

  I entered the room with bleary eyes and shaking hands. Even with recent tears proclaimed by her swollen eyes, the desperate wringing of her handkerchief, and the water that I could swear still shone on her cheeks, Mae was polite as ever. “I am so sorry to come over unannounced, Evelyn.” She strode back and forth along the drawing room, sending me a weak smile.

  I could feel guilt beginning to boil in my stomach and I sat down hard, trying to summon my own smile but failing. “You are always welcome, Mae. Please, do sit.” She eyed the chair I gestured to as though it were a collection of snakes, but her perfect breeding prevailed and she sat on the edge, her foot pedaling up and down with excess energy.

  “Mae, you’re scaring me,” I said with a laugh I did not feel.

  She turned guiltily to me. “I’m sorry. It’s just … I needed to speak to you.”

  “What about?” I asked, though I could guess the answer. She always had such control over her emotions, such calm, except when it came to one topic.

  “It’s about Sebastian.”

  “What did he do?”

  “He came to see me this morning.”

  “Yes?” My voice was breathy and high and false and horrible.

  “He told me things. Ridiculous things. He—he claimed to be responsible for my brother’s death. For his parents’ deaths. For my illness. He said he has some magical curse or something else just as strange, I don’t understand, and frankly, he was scaring me.”

  She turned then, fixing her beautiful gray eyes on mine. “He said you have some strange power, too. That you can heal anyone with just a touch. Is this some story or joke? I—he—he’s not gone mad, has he? Why would he say such things?”

  But Mae wasn’t asking me a question. She was begging me, from the depths of her soul, to provide a simple explanation, something that would reassure her about Sebastian, restore her balance when her world had been turned upside down. And I was tempted, so tempted to give it to her. But Sebastian had wanted her to know. Surely, now that he was aware of their engagement, he was declaring himself fully, telling her everything about him that he hated, letting her see the dark as well as the light.

  And so, for his sake, I forced myself to speak the words. “I’m afraid, Mae, that everything he said was true.”

  She did not make a sound. Tears spilled over, running through already-worn trenches.

  “He has no control over it, and I know it tortures him greatly. But if he told you, it’s because he wants nothing between you. He wants you to know everything about who he is.” I couldn’t say where the words came from, grinding out of my mouth like rusted cogs, turning, cutting tracks in my throat as I forced them out.

  But Mae was still not responding, just staring at me. I began to feel trapped. There was no air in this room, only this girl I liked very much who happened to be marrying the only man I had ever had feelings for.

  “Did he tell you anything else?”

  “He told me about you and Mr. Kent. He said there were others.”

  “Yes, we are still learning what exactly causes it, and how, but it seems there are a number of people.” I latched eagerly on to the topic, happy to be discussing something other than Sebastian.

  “You healed me.”

  “Yes.”

  “With a magical power?”

  “Something like that, yes.” Mae was looking at me as though I were an extremely excited child who wished to convince her governess that the fairies were real, indeed. I sighed and picked up my fan, released the blade, and cut my palm. Mae gasped and shot out of her seat as I wiped the blood away and showed her the fast-healing skin.

  She rubbed her eyes. “I’m seeing things.”

  “I’m afraid not.”

  She blinked rapidly and I decided that babbling on would be the best thing for it. “Mr. Braddock and I appear to have diametrically opposed powers—we cancel each other’s out when we are in proximity. I was able to heal you when he was out of the room, but if he gets too close to anyone without my presence, they will fall ill.”

  “I … I know he’s always kept his distance since his parents,” she said. “But he wasn’t like that when he returned this time.”

  “That’s because we found a cure, of sorts. A man who can alter our abilities—enhance or remove them entirely, for a day or two. That’s why Mr. Braddock came back from his recent travels. He can finally be with you without fear of harming you.”

  She gave a short shake of her head, her neck stiff and long. “I’m afraid you are mistaken. He did not tell me all this … this madness, so that we could be together.” She was regarding me solemnly as a tear dropped off her jawbone onto the lace waiting below.

  “But, to admit so much, he must truly—”

  “He broke off our engagement,” she said.

  I stared at her. Those words did strange and horrible things to my heart. It was like it broke into two pieces and then tried to leap for joy at once.

  “He told me all this as an explanation for why we would never be together. He said that he could never be sure that he would keep me safe. And he had promised my brother that he would look after me.”

  “But he’s … not as dangerous anymore,” I breathed.

  Fresh tears were coming now. I waited, unable to do anything other than watch her fall to pieces—as simple and impossible to prevent as watching someone in the distance fall from a great height.

  “If he is not dangerous, then I—I don’t believe he wishes to be with me.” Finally she sat, skirts settling gently around her perfectly erect form, even now, not sunken in disappointed dreams.

  I stared at the wall, the stripes on the fabric warped together, doubling and separating under my dazed gaze. It would be so easy to confirm her fears. So easy to agree that it must mean he did not want to be with her. That, perhaps, he wanted to be with me. But when I looked at all of it with sober judgment, I knew it was not that.

  Sebastian felt something for me. I was not a good enough liar to convince myself otherwise. But it was not the same ease and familiarity—the same constancy he had in Mae. He had told her everything. And then he told her he could not be with her. But he’d said nothing to her about their proposal being a misunderstanding. Nothing about not loving her. Sebastian only told her that he could not be sure he could always keep her safe.

  This was the entire reason I had decided to keep him out of our plans for the ball. And he went and mucked it up.

  The ridiculous, stubborn, infuriating, impossible fool. And here I was, with the chance to be as good and noble as him. As Mae.

  I could feel a building, burning pressure behind my own eyes as I cleared my throat. “Mae, I believe he is just being his obtusely noble self.”

  She swallowed hard but her eyes did not leave mine. “He is not in love with me.”

  I forced myself to hold her gaze, hoping I sounded encouraging. “But I … I know how much he cares for you. He just carries so much guilt around and he is being martyrish. But I think he’s also giving you the decision.”

  Mae was still in the way that frightened animals sometimes are, worried about doing anything to make things worse. Her lips barely moved but I heard her clearly. “What do you mean?”

  “You have the choice to forgive him or not. He’s giving you the freedom and the time to think about it without any promises to him. It’s a hard thing to forgive—even knowing it was not something he wished. It’s still your sibling. But if you do forgive him, you have to be certain. Otherwise, he’ll never forgive himself.”

  She let out a heavy, wavering breath, considering my words. “I … hadn’t thought … I don’t know what I’d say to him.” Alarmed, she snapped her attention up at me. “Will he be attending your ball?”

  I watched her nervously bite her lip. This was the perfect way to keep Mae away.

  “Yes,” I lied. “He will be. I could ask Mother to disinvite him…,” I began, counting on Mae’s infinite politeness.

  She shook her head fiercely. “N
o, no, of course not. I just … I don’t think I’m ready. Oh, I’m so sorry to miss it.”

  “The apology is unnecessary. You just need some time,” I said, standing and taking her hand. “And believe me, I understand. I promise you won’t miss anything of interest. It will be a great bore with a bunch of my mother’s puffed-up friends.”

  At that, my friend nodded slightly and stood up as well. I hoped, for all our sakes, that I was right. I would be thrilled if the ball ended up being a great bore.

  At least no one would get hurt.

  Chapter 20

  “EVELYN!” MY MOTHER’S voice rang out through the house in perfect symphony with doleful thrums from the clock.

  Seven. It was time to start. The guests would be arriving soon, among them Lord Atherton. The rest of our lives depended on the next few hours. The fates of people all over the world depended on what we did with the Society of Aberrations. And here I was, tensely waiting for my maid to finish tucking my elaborate curls just so under the light-purple ribbon.

  “This is truly unnecessary, Lucy,” I said. “There cannot possibly be another strand of hair left to pin.”

  “Your mother insisted on perfection, miss,” she replied.

  Indeed, she had. Lady Atherton had sent a note politely requesting that I wear one of the new gowns she had ordered. It was a terribly complicated, if lovely, lavender affair, with hefts of fabric tied up in bows flouncing down the skirts. It felt rather like I had donned armor, given the padding and constriction of the tight sleeves, with the row of pearl buttons at the wrists.

  “Evelyn!” Mother called out again. Lucy gave me a nod and stepped back. I gave myself one last look in the glass, grabbed my dangerous fan, and made my way downstairs, where my mother and father were waiting in the largest drawing room, gilded, rich, leather-looking red fabrics decorating the walls. Mother was dressed similarly to me, but in a dark-purple dress for half mourning. “Very nice,” she told me.

  She gave me a long, peculiar look, but it wasn’t the usual critical one. Oh dear goodness, was that a look of admiration on her face? What was that doing there? And aimed at me?

  “Lovely, lovely,” Father said, looking larger than ever. He did not seem to really see me as he gave me a vague smile. Was his mind already on card games? I smiled up at him, determined that after this was over, we would talk as we never had before. There would be openness and truth and he wouldn’t gamble anymore. Perhaps Rose could convince him if I couldn’t.

  Mother stepped forward, drawing me aside while Father poured himself another drink. “I want you to know how much I appreciate your efforts, Evelyn,” she said. “Lord Atherton visited today and your father gave his permission.”

  “Oh!” was all I managed to get out.

  “I know we’ve had our share of disagreements, especially about marriage,” she continued with a sigh. “A great deal of it was because you reminded me of myself. I was just as stubborn about it when it was time for my Season.”

  “So you decided to force me to marry as revenge upon your mother,” I said wryly.

  She smiled and her eyes found Father across the room as he lit a cigar. “No, but I only learned to love your father after marriage. I know Lord Atherton plans to propose tonight, and I am sure you will find him most agreeable and, in time, grow to love him.” Her voice lowered further. “But if not, there can be freedom, you know, in marrying a man whom you have advantages over.” At the questioning look in my eye she gave a canny smile. “I know he is not the most … interesting man. But neither will he be demanding of your time and attentions. You will have security and your time will be your own. There have been many marriages built on less.”

  I inclined my head guiltily, suddenly very appreciative of her care. She had considered my feelings more than I would ever have thought. True, Lord Atherton was secretly a cruel, oppressive head of a secret society. But it was a kind gesture nonetheless.

  “I know it has not been easy.” Her throat worked a little and she dashed a finger under her right eye. “We all miss Rose terribly. And you were so close, ever since she was born.”

  “Even then?” I said, not sure whose voice was shakier.

  “Oh yes. You were always at her bassinet, looking at her, babbling in some childish language.” She caught my hand in hers and squeezed tightly. “She loved you very much.”

  “I love her, too,” I said, forcing the words out.

  My father, vacant across the room.

  My mother, holding tight to the life she had, controlling as many aspects as she could.

  We just had to get through tonight. Just tonight, and then we would ease—nay, erase all the pain my parents were going through. I squeezed my mother’s hand back and watched as she blinked repeatedly. She coughed once and I wanted so badly to tell her everything.

  But our first guests had started to arrive and my mother quickly composed herself and joined my father to greet them. Pretton announced their entrances in the great hall and his voice echoed throughout the room.

  As planned, Miss Grey was one of our first arrivals. Disguised as an elderly matron by Camille so my parents would not recognize my old governess, she made her way in and stationed herself in a chair in the ballroom. We thought choosing someone who looked familiar but not an actual imitation of a specific person would force my parents and guests to nod politely, avoid her, and privately rack their brains for who, exactly, she was. She fussily pulled on a pair of pince-nez, as though she would be scrutinizing the guests for their correctness. Of course what she would really be looking for was the suspected bodyguard—and anyone else she might recognize from her dreams.

  Oliver would be out in the mews with Miss Chen. When I told him our plan, there had been no stopping him from attending. He loudly voiced his hatred of the Society and told me he would do whatever he could to “be a thorn in their arse.” Ignoring the colorful image, I told him to present himself to Pretton as an additional groom for the night. As soon as the majority of guests had arrived, Oliver would be sneaking inside and bringing Miss Chen with him to the floor above the ballroom.

  More guests streamed in and I greeted all of them with more focus than I would have usually. Though I was sure the head was Lord Atherton, I couldn’t help but wonder at every man from Catherine’s list who kissed my hand and heartily shook my father’s. By the time I heard the Atherton name announced, my eyes were beginning to cross and I felt sure that I had created two new, deep lines from smiling so hard for so long.

  Lord Atherton and his mother swept in. Lord Atherton was as correct and boring as always, his suit smartly lined with the thinnest stripe of velvet, his hat perfectly perched on his springy hair. Of course, he took it off the moment he entered, handing it to one of the very ready servants. Lady Atherton’s hair was very high, adorned with a number of flowers.

  “Miss Wyndham, I promised you when we met we would take full advantage of the Little Season. And tonight this ball is all anyone can talk about,” Lady Atherton said, coming forward to gaze around the room and claim credit for all of it.

  “Indeed, you were correct, Lady Atherton” I said, curtsying. “Thank you.”

  “As the late earl said, ‘The early bird catches birds of a like feather,’” she said.

  I nodded, not even trying to understand how that would work. At the very least, the combination of proverbs made it somewhat original.

  “Lady Atherton, Lord Atherton, a pleasure,” Mother was saying warmly.

  “We are delighted.” Lord Atherton bowed stonily and turned to me as decorum dictated. “Quite … unique weather,” he said.

  I stiffened. Was he being his typical weather-fixated self or was this a reference to Miss Rao?

  “Indeed,” I said. “Unique weather for a unique night.”

  “Hum. May I have the honor of the first dance?” His words were as stilted as a tired actor’s.

  “I’m afraid I am engaged for the first, Lord Atherton, but the second is available?” He looked deeply o
ffended but nodded over my hand, and I curtsied, trying not to crush my skirts in my clenched fist. There was something sinister lurking beneath the mask of that insufferable correctness. I was leaving the first dance for Mr. Kent so we could approach Lord Atherton together in the second. I was longing to confront him and hear his answers. I took a deep breath, reminding myself that it was almost over. He and his mother slowly disappeared into the ballroom and I steeled myself for greeting more guests.

  Fortunately, the Kents arrived soon after. I was quite surprised that Lady Kent would have accepted the invitation, but Lady Atherton had so advanced our position in society, it would have been inexcusable for her to decline the honor. She did not meet my eye as she entered with her husband, Sir Peter, back from his travels. I could feel the waves of tension rolling off Mr. Kent as he stood just behind his hated family. After his explanation of how his father had treated his birth mother last year, I was not surprised.

  When Mr. Kent greeted me with a gracious bow, though, his eyes brightened. “I will see you for the first dance,” he said. “I’ve asked for a two-hour waltz. You’ll love it,” he said with a wink and disappeared into the crowd.

  Slowly, our grand, empty house actually started to feel crowded. A woman’s skirts bumped the base of a bronze bust and her husband lunged to catch the falling figure in time. Two girls who shared my first Season walked out of the ballroom, giggling over their punch. Servants darted in and out of the crowds, their shining trays held high above their heads. Anxiety was coiling in my stomach, turning my insides to mush. I looked back at the hall to the ballroom and saw Miss Grey standing, staring fiercely at someone. Had a guard just arrived?

  “Hello, Evelyn.”

  Damn. Damn. Damn. I turned, took her in, and tried to contain a sigh. “Mae, what a surprise.” Mae’s eyes were outlined in red but blazing with determination.

  “I decided that you were right.”

  I never thought there would be a time when I would dislike those words.

  “I was?”

  “Yes. He needs to know that I do forgive him and that I will stand beside him, be his helpmate and support. I did not think that was a decision that could wait.” She looked fiercer and more ready for battle than any of us actually preparing to fight tonight.