Carroll, Laurie - War Of Hearts.txt

by War Of Hearts. txt (lit)

  “Go to her, man,” Edward ordered Jeremy from where

  he sat his destrier nearby. “She needs you.”

  “Not dressed as a killer,” Jeremy returned evenly.

  “She’s seen enough killing.” He turned to the squire,

  desperation heavy in his chest. “Rid me of this armor.”

  Before the boy could even move, Jeremy was stripping

  away the steel plates, haphazardly throwing them to the

  ground.

  “Take your time with her, Blaine,” Edward offered.

  “We’ll secure things here and prepare to start south by

  this afternoon.”

  Jeremy’s expression was his thanks to Edward. Now

  clad in only arming doublet and hose, he pulled on his

  boots and ran toward the tethered horses. Suddenly

  unsure of how to proceed, he slowed as he neared Alicen.

  Had Kenrick’s death appalled her? Did she despise him

  for killing the man? Reaching out, he touched her

  shoulder and gently squeezed.

  “I had to do it, lass,” he rasped through a tight throat.

  “It saved much bloodshed.”

  He tensed, anticipating anger. But Alicen stood

  silently, face pressed against Hercules’ neck, left hand

  absently stroking the horse’s mane.

  Jeremy covered her slender fingers with his large

  hand. “I regret you had to witness that.”

  He swallowed a gasp when she turned and raised her

  gaze to meet his. The sparkling emerald lights within them

  had died, leaving a dull, lifeless void.

  “I’m glad you killed him,” she whispered. “I prayed

  for his death.” Her voice broke on her despair, “God, what

  have I done?”

  With a soft denial, Jeremy gathered her to him. “You’ve

  done naught, Alicen. I killed him, not you.”

  “But I wanted you to!” She pushed away, then stared

  through tear-veiled eyes at his intense expression. “Don’t

  you see, I chose a side. I swore to my mother I’d never do

  such. I’ve betrayed her, myself...everything I ever believed

  in.”

  When she started to turn away, he caught her arm

  and stopped her. Then he slid his hand up to caress her

  cheek. “You chose the right side, lass.”

  Eyes closed, she leaned into his touch for a brief

  moment. But when her eyes again opened, they were as

  lifeless as before.

  “I must return to Landeyda,” she stated blankly. “I’ve

  been away too long.”

  Her abrupt remoteness gave him pause. Anger he

  could deal with, rage at his barbarity, even fear of him.

  But this? Her soul seemed to have left her body,

  abandoning her physical being to its own devices. Could

  he coax her spirit back? Or was he the cause of this

  withdrawal?

  “We’ll leave as soon as Charon has been stripped of

  battle gear,” was his calm reply. “But he’ll not hold up

  under a hard pace until he’s had a chance to rest a while.”

  At these words, Alicen winced. The image of Jeremy

  and Charon engaged in mortal combat with Kenrick would

  never leave her. Nor would her joy at his triumph or her

  shame at wishing Kenrick’s death. She mentally shook

  herself. Of course the beast would need rest! As would

  the man, who even now swayed on his feet, pale from

  exertion.

  “On the morrow, then?”

  He nodded, surprise in his eyes. “At dawn if you wish

  it.”

  She looked him up and down. “Did you sustain any

  injuries?”

  Pressing his hand against his ribs, he said wryly, “Only

  more bruises, I fear. I’ll be fit come morn.”

  Jeremy turned to go.

  “Captain, I—“ When he stopped and glanced back at

  her, her courage failed. Unable to meet his keen look,

  she stared at the ground. “I thank God you weren’t

  grievously wounded.”

  “I thank Him, too, Mistress.” He touched her cheek

  with the back of his hand, then he was gone.

  ***

  Jeremy and Alicen were mounted and ready to ride

  at dawn.

  Edward rose stiffly and limped out to speak to them.

  “Tell William my troops and I are at his disposal against

  Harold.” He handed Jeremy a sealed parchment scroll.

  “This is an accounting of the knights who owe me service,

  and the number of their retainers.”

  “My thanks, lord earl,” Jeremy stated, bowing slightly.

  “William will need all the allies he can rally to defeat

  Harold.”

  “I’ve no doubt he’ll win if he has more men of your

  prowess in his employ.” Edward smiled, then turned to

  Alicen and raised her hand to his lips. “Mistress Kent,

  godspeed. ’Twas fortunate indeed when I met you. You’ve

  restored my faith in mankind.”

  Alicen gave Edward an empty smile. Your faith has

  been sorely abused, my lord. I’m no saint. “Please convey

  my thanks to Lady Rebecca for all her kindness. And

  attend closely to yourself, my lord earl.”

  “Levi grows old,” Edward remarked, brown eyes alight.

  “He could use an assistant should you wish to leave

  Sherford.”

  “Nay, my lord,” Alicen replied softly. “Your hospitality

  is renowned, but I must return home.”

  “I understand.” Edward kissed her hand once again

  before releasing her. “God ride with you both.”

  “And with you,” Jeremy responded.

  “God speed us all,” Alicen stated with quiet conviction.

  ***

  “Alston lies east of the Pennine Mountains,” Jeremy

  pointed out to Alicen, although she didn’t indicate she’d

  heard him. “We’ve few natural barriers between us and

  Landeyda.”

  “Let’s take advantage of the gentle terrain, then.” She

  set Hercules to a canter.

  Jeremy’s concern centered completely on Alicen. Her

  determination to return home was evident in the hard,

  straight line of her mouth, and he let her set the relentless

  pace they’d kept to. Hour upon hour, league upon league,

  she remained withdrawn and remote, resisting all his

  efforts to draw her out. He even tried to start an argument,

  to no avail. He wondered if falling from his horse and

  breaking his neck would shatter her indifference, but

  decided it likely would not. Her single-minded goal

  obscured fatigue and discomfort, even awareness of her

  surroundings and her companion. This detachment

  worried him. She was not at all the saucy terror whose

  sharp tongue and defiant manner had goaded him every

  day of William’s convalescence at Landeyda. Her spirit

  had fled. He much preferred her combativeness to the

  dispassionate woman who now rode beside him.

  They kept to the hard pace all day, stopping only

  briefly to water the horses and eat some of the supplies

  Edward had provided them. During one such respite,

  Jeremy managed to fell two fat hares with a borrowed

  crossbow. They’d make a tasty evening meal, he decided.

  At dusk, he called a halt to their ride.

  “We’ll camp ther
e.” He pointed to a thick stand of

  trees well back from off the road. “’Tis good shelter from

  inclement weather and any prying eyes.”

  They found a natural bower in the center of the stand

  and made camp. She tended the horses while he started

  a fire and gathered pine boughs for sleeping pallets. When

  the fire burned hot, he spitted the rabbits on sticks and

  roasted them.

  Alicen sat staring into the depths of the woods, lost

  to her melancholy. She didn’t notice Jeremy’s presence

  until he touched her shoulder, then she started,

  distraction fleeing when her eyes focused on him as he

  bent toward her.

  “You should eat.” He offered her a still-spitted hare.

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “Try to eat anyway.”

  She looked at him with veiled eyes. “I’d rather not.”

  He gave her an assessing look. “Given your healing

  skills, ’tis certain you know best. Yet, I’ve always believed

  a body needs the sustenance food provides.”

  She couldn’t muster a response.

  “You told me yourself eating well would heal my

  wounds more quickly.”

  “I’m not wounded, Captain Blaine.”

  A dark brow shot up. “And you claim yourself a

  physician?” he teased before his tone softened. “You’re

  wounded at heart, lass, if naught else. You must help

  yourself recover.”

  A moment passed, then a fleeting smile touched her

  mouth. “You are keen-eyed, sir.” Accepting the rabbit,

  she managed to eat a few bites.

  Jeremy was not to be put off. “You insult me if that is

  all of my repast you see fit to consume. I labored hard at

  this meal and, indeed, ’tis my finest effort yet.” He tore a

  piece of flesh from his own rabbit, popped it into his

  mouth, and chewed heartily. “’Tis a poor cook who’ll not

  partake of his toil.”

  “I daresay you’ll eat your share and more.” She

  managed a few more bites while he continued to attack

  his portion, tossing the bones into the trees.

  Encouraged by her slight show of appetite, he urged,

  “Wash it down with some cider. This should take away

  the chill.”

  Without comment, she accepted the skin he offered

  ,and drank.

  “Cider won’t warm my soul,” she murmured dully.

  “‘Twill take far more than cider for that.”

  Jeremy privately noted her melancholy, and her sad

  look pained him. Regret at his inability to cheer her added

  to his discomfort. That, and his certainty he’d caused her

  grief.

  What could he do? His very presence reminded her

  of Kenrick’s death, yet he couldn’t ride off and leave her.

  He’d rarely attempted to soothe a woman’s feelings,

  reasoning that the many betrayals he’d suffered justified

  his cold-hearted attitude. Just two months prior he’d not

  have pondered Alicen’s difficulty. He’d have dismissed

  her plight as something all females deserved. After all,

  wasn’t every woman a scheming bitch who sought to

  destroy each man she encountered?

  He’d believed such folly! Bitterness had twisted his

  soul and made him indifferent to another’s suffering. Now

  he had a chance to amend his misdeeds, and he couldn’t

  think how to do so.

  Glancing at Alicen in the fire’s glow, he noted her

  pale and desolate look. Could he tease her from her

  gloom?

  On an exaggerated sigh, he complained, “I’ve never

  prepared a meal for such an ungrateful soul. Cooking is

  a woman’s work, not a soldier’s. From this day hence,

  you cook our food. Then if you don’t want to eat it, I’ll not

  care.”

  Her head snapped around. A flicker of anger lit her

  eyes, reflecting the nearby fire. “We’ll only be traveling

  another day and perhaps half the night. Why stop to

  prepare a meal when Edward’s provisions are sufficient?”

  “Then you admit you cannot cook any better than I?”

  he challenged. “I never thought to hear such words from

  you.”

  Instead of the argument he’d hoped to provoke,

  Jeremy was sorely disappointed.

  Alicen looked back into the fire and said so softly he

  could barely hear, “My thanks for seeking to coax me

  from my distemper, Captain. I regret my humor cannot

  be so persuaded.”

  Ignoring the urge to gather her to him, he instead

  clasped her right hand gently in both of his and brought

  it to his lips.

  “Forgive me,” he whispered, “for my part in your

  sorrow.”

  Seventeen

  She started, then slanted her green gaze at him. “And

  what part is that?”

  “I challenged Kenrick, did I not? I killed him.” He

  paused, fearing his voice would break if he spoke hastily.

  “You recognized me for a brute, and I gave you ample

  evidence of that brutality. Now you’re alone with a man

  you despise but cannot be rid of. ’Tis little wonder you

  grieve.”

  Astonishment lit her eyes. “You mistake me, Captain.

  I quite understand your actions. Kenrick was a fiend.

  Though I be damned for thinking it, I’m glad he’s dead.”

  Her voice cracked. “Nay, I grieve for lost innocence, for

  my foolish belief that I could serve all without choosing

  one cause over another.”

  The sadness in her voice drew him to sit by her side.

  “A pity such a noble ideal must end,” he stated solemnly.

  She shrugged, staring at the fire. “’Tis the world’s way.”

  “Yet that doesn’t make the loss any more palatable.”

  “Nay, it does not.”

  He studied her profile, then, before he could stop

  himself, asked, “Why didn’t Orrick live at Landeyda?”

  “He risked discovery there.”

  “’Tis no wonder you hate war and warriors so much.”

  Silent, Alicen glanced at Jeremy, then returned to

  staring into the fire.

  Darkness had fallen, the campfire providing the only

  light within the bower. To give her privacy, Jeremy went

  to check the horses. Then he followed the sound of

  running water to a small stream nearby and proceeded

  to strip and bathe. The icy water hastened his ablutions

  and left him clear headed. And shaking. He pulled on

  hose and boots and scooped up his other garments. With

  the campfire as a beacon, he quickly returned. When he

  stopped beside it and shook his head like a mongrel dog,

  water droplets flew to the winds. Several hissed at meeting

  the flames between the two travelers.

  His antics pulled Alicen from her musings. Following

  his lead, she rose and made her way to the stream to

  bathe. She refrained from wetting her hair, knowing it

  would take hours to dry, chilling her. She also refrained

  from reentering camp in the same state of undress Jeremy

  had moments before. She reluctantly had to admit the

  sight of so much male flesh made thinking clearly nigh

  impossible.

/>   Upon her return, she saw that he had prepared a

  large pallet of pine boughs and dry leaves. His blanket

  lay atop it.

  He straightened at her approach. “With your

  permission, Mistress, ’tis time we retire. I must put out

  the fire, else we risk discovery.”

  Thinking to ready her own bed, Alicen indicated the

  pallet. “Where shall I find such boughs as these?”

  Jeremy stopped on his way to his saddle. “We’ll both

  be warmer if we share blankets.” He shook out his

  garment and brought it to the pallet.

  “You’re not cold without your tunic?” she asked

  dubiously, sight of his bare chest disquieting.

  “‘Twill be our pillow.” He handed her her cloak. “Wrap

  up in this. We’ll use my cloak and your blanket over both

  of us.”

  He folded his tunic and placed it at the head of the

  pallet. Spreading out his blanket, he indicated the spot

  where she was to lie. Then he put out the fire and lay

  down.

  Unsure of the wisdom of lying beside the half-clad

  soldier, Alicen hesitated, memories of touching him

  making her throat dry. Reason warred with emotion.

  Certainly this arrangement was best. Caution decreed

  dousing the fire. Besides, she wouldn’t touch him; she’d

  just lie beside him. What harm could come of that?

  Wrapping her cloak around her like woolen armor, she

  lay down with her back to him.

  Jeremy covered them both with his cloak and pulled

  Alicen’s blanket up over that. He hesitated only a moment

  before moving in close behind her and enfolding her in

  his arms.

  “For warmth,” he murmured into her thick hair when

  her body stiffened.

  Her answer was a slight nod, but she didn’t relax

  against him. Instead, she subtly leaned away, maintaining

  some distance.

  Sleep evaded him as he contemplated the woman he

  held. He knew she also remained awake. Did she secretly

  fear ravishment? Sleeping in his arms as they rode was

  one thing. This night’s arrangement was an entirely

  different matter.

  Yet, she hadn’t refused to share the pallet. After

  several minutes of contemplation, he realized she resisted

  sleep not because she feared him but because she feared

  her dreams.

  Leaning in so that his mouth brushed her ear, he

  whispered, “You have my word naught will harm you

  tonight, lass. Rest now.” He felt her tremble slightly, but