Westside Series Box Set

by Monica Alexander

  “You’ll be alright, Andi,” Hannah said softly. “You’ll get through this.”

  I sighed. “I know I will. It just hurts right now.”

  Hannah nodded and squeezed my hand. “I know it does.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Cam

  My phone rang with a number I didn’t recognize, but I saw that it was from a New York area code, and for one fleeting second, I thought it might be Andi calling to tell me she’d made a mistake. Not that I’d forgive her right away, because I was pissed that she’d lied to me and then thrown that lie back in my face, but a part of me knew that if she wanted me back, I’d go in a heartbeat. I was that whipped and in love with her that I’d sacrifice my dignity for another shot.

  I partially blamed myself anyway, since I was the one who’d left, but I’d just needed space. I needed time. I was going to call her after Christmas. I’d thought things through, and I remembered what she’d said to me outside of Preston’s gym. I knew how she felt about me, and I’d decided to give her parents the big middle finger for trying to interfere with us. My mom was right, Andi was a grown woman, and she could make her own decisions.

  If her parents didn’t want us to be together, I honestly didn’t give a shit, as long as Andi wanted to be with me. I knew I’d reacted wrong. Not that I would have stayed where I wasn’t wanted, but I shouldn’t have avoided her calls and texts. I should have held firm to what I knew was real, told her I loved her and did everything I could to let her know that I was the right guy for her, regardless of anything else. And I’d been ready to tell her that, to say the three words I’d never said to another girl before and lay my heart out for her. She already owned it anyway.

  Then I’d seen the pictures of her online, and I’d thrown my iPad across the room, shattering the screen and putting a hole in the wall of the guest room at my mom’s house that she made me patch before I left. The whole time I’d been fixing the wall, I’d felt like I was the thing with the hole in the middle of me, but no amount of drywall or plaster or paint would make the hole disappear. Time was the only thing that would work, and that sucked to think about, because with the way I was feeling, I knew it was going to take a lot of time.

  “Hello?” I asked with more hope in my voice than I cared to show.

  “Cam?”

  It wasn’t Andi. It was a guy. A guy I knew.

  “Phillip?” I asked in disbelief.

  “Yeah. Hey man.”

  “How are you calling me? I thought you weren’t allowed to make phone calls?”

  Shit, it was good to hear his voice, even if the cockiness that was usually there seemed to be missing. I guess rehab will do that to you.

  “Good behavior and progress in the program. Dr. Fleishman said I could pick three people to call since it was New Year’s Eve.”

  “And you picked me?” I asked, sort of shocked that he had.

  I hadn’t expected that since I’d been responsible for him going to rehab. I’d thought he was pissed at me.

  “Yeah, man. You saved my life. I owe you. I’m not sure how to ever say thank you, but just know that I owe you.”

  “It was nothing, man. I just reacted.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m glad you did. The doc said I probably wouldn’t have made it had you not gotten the drugs out of my system.”

  Hearing him say that brought back the terror I’d felt that night. Seeing your friend overdosing and knowing there’s a chance he might die does funny things to you.

  “Yeah, well, you scared the shit out of me.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry.”

  Maybe it was a guy thing, but long talks and deep declarations really weren’t what Phillip and I were accustomed to. He was my friend, my brother, my bandmate. We didn’t need words to understand that there were no hard feelings, that we loved each other, and that I’d do what I’d done again in a heartbeat. He’d do the same for me.

  “So how’s it going? Treatment I mean?”

  “It’s good. The first week was the worst of my life. Detox fucking sucked, and then things just got really dark, but I’ve had a good week so far. Things have sort of started to come together with my therapy sessions, and I’m starting to realize some things about myself that I didn’t understand before.”

  “Are you still getting out in two weeks?”

  “That’s the plan, and it seems like it’ll happen. I’m not sure I’ll be ready, but I also know everyone’s counting on me. I know we can’t afford to miss any more performances.”

  “Dude, no,” I said firmly, appalled that he would say that.

  “No, what?”

  “Don’t think that way. The band can wait for you. I don’t give a shit if we have to push back every promotion and performance for the next two months. Take the time you need.”

  “I’ll be fine,” he assured me.

  “Then why did you say you’re not sure if you’ll be ready? Don’t leave rehab if you think you’re just going to go back to what you were doing before. Stay as long as you need to make it stick.”

  Phillip chuckled lightly. “Dude, I love your innocence. I honestly do, but you know as well as I do that addictions don’t just go away, and I have a drug addiction.”

  I sucked in a breath as I heard him say that. Hearing the words out loud was more difficult than I’d imagined.

  “Yeah, they defined it that way?”

  “I defined it that way – in therapy. I know there are a lot of people who deny they have a problem and say that they just got sucked into the lifestyle we live, but I’ve been into drugs since I was fourteen. I’ve self-medicated for years, and if that’s not an addiction, I’m not sure what is. You know I can’t remember a day before I overdosed that I didn’t pop some kind of upper or downer or smoke or shoot or snort something. Not one day, Cam. I couldn’t get through a rehearsal or an interview or a performance without using something, and I remember being on stage too many times thinking if I could just get through the show, I’d be fine. I know the show was always the high for you, but for me, it was the party afterward. It was the party favors and the girls and the numbness and the fun and the blur that the night became. It was an escape.”

  “From what, though? You have an awesome life. Why would you want to escape it?”

  Phillip sighed. “I have demons you don’t even know about, Cam, but I don’t want to talk about them right now. I just wanted to call and wish you a Happy New Year. I’m stoked to see you guys soon.”

  “Me too, man, but what’s going to happen when you get out? Are you going to be okay?”

  “I’m going to have a sponsor, and I’m going to go to meetings, and I’m going to stay away from temptation.”

  “Then we will too,” I told him. “I’ll let the guys know. No drugs, no alcohol, no temptations on this tour.”

  Phillip chuckled. “Man, I appreciate it, but I’d never ask you to do that. I have to learn how to live in a world where drugs and alcohol exist, and I have to be strong enough to stay away from them.”

  “Solidarity, brother,” I assured him. “At least at the beginning. Maybe down the road we can test you, but I’m not interested in doing that right away. I know Dillon and Van will feel the same way. We’re just glad you’re alright, and we’ll do whatever it takes to not lose you.”

  “I appreciate that, man. I do. Being in here and knowing that I have my brothers waiting for me, that’s what’s kept me strong. I feel like I’ve been a shitty part of the band recently, and I want to make that up to you all. I want this tour to be epic, and I want to do my part.”

  “You do plenty,” I assured him, even though now that he said it, I could see what he was talking about, especially about not being into the shows. He always performed well, and played with the crowd, because it was his job, but he never seemed like he wanted to be there. It always felt forced.

  “Nah, I don’t,” Phillip said. “But that’s going to change. I promise.”

  “Well, either way, I’ll just be glad
to see you.”

  “Me too, man. Listen, I’ve got to go, but have a great time tonight.”

  “I will. Happy New Year, bro.”

  “You too.”

  Hanging up the phone brought on a weird range of emotions as Phillip’s words resonated with me. I was glad he was okay, but he’d dealt with some heavy shit. I had no idea his problems were as bad as he’d said, but I also might have chosen to ignore the signs, just like I did with Preston. I vowed not to do that again. Life was too short to let someone I loved spiral.

  I heard the click in the door to our suite, and I turned from the huge picture window overlooking the Las Vegas Strip where I’d been standing during my phone call with Phillip. Dillon and Meredith walked into the suite looking tan and relaxed and happy as shit after spending ten days in Fiji.

  I should have been irritated in seeing how in love they were, but somehow after talking with Phillip, my mindset was a little different.

  “Cam!” Meredith said, a bright smile lighting up her face as she launched herself across the room at me, practically knocking me to the floor with the force of her hug. “How are you? We missed you!”

  “I’m great, Mere. How was Fiji?”

  She smiled even wider when she pulled back and looked at me. “Incredible. You totally need to go.”

  “Maybe I will,” I said offhandedly, thinking how much Andi would like Fiji and how much I’d like to take her there.

  The stabbing feeling in my chest returned at the reminder that we’d never go there – not together at least.

  “Okay, I need a shower,” Mere said as she looked around the penthouse suite.

  The hotel had put us up there as part of a thank you for our agreement to host. We also had a full bar that I wasn’t sure I’d end up touching now. Lots of things were sobering me at the moment.

  “Bedroom’s over there, babe,” Dillon said as he gestured toward the room where he and Mere would be sleeping.

  When Meredith had closed the door behind her, Dillon turned on me, and I expected him to smile and hug me and tell me it was good to see me. Then he’d tell me about his trip, and I’d tell him about Andi, and we’d get shit out in the open so he knew why I wasn’t necessarily going to be myself for a while.

  “You’re a bastard. I’m going to fucking kill you,” he spat at me, catching me off-guard.

  My eyebrows rose in question. “Excuse me?”

  He stalked toward me and shoved me hard, and I instantly regretted telling Chris to take the afternoon off. I might need him to intervene in a second if Dillon was serious.

  “You’re a pussy, you know that?” he said, shoving me again.

  “No, I didn’t know that,” I said, shoving him back.

  “I knew you’d punk out. I fucking knew it. To not even man up and tell her what was going on? That’s bullshit, Cam.”

  I threw my hands up in surrender as I backed away. “What the hell are you talking about?” I asked, not even sure how he’d heard about Andi and me.

  Maybe Van had told him. After I’d left Detroit, I’d headed to Reno and spent three days snowboarding with Van. He knew what was up, but as far as I was aware, Dillon had just landed in the states. I didn’t think he’d have taken the time to call Van yet.

  “Callie,” Dillon hissed.

  “Callie?” I questioned, again caught off-guard with what he was saying. “What about her? Is she okay?”

  “No! She’s not okay! She’s fucking afraid she’s going to end up raising Parker on her own.”

  “Dude, what are you talking about?” I asked slowly, since I literally wasn’t following.

  “I’m talking about your piece of shit brother and his inability to stop getting himself into trouble. I’m talking about him getting mixed up with Frankie Juarez and fucking up my sister’s life along the way.”

  “But I gave him the money,” I told Dillon. “I wired twenty-five thousand dollars to him so he could pay off Frankie. It’s a non-issue.”

  “But it’s not. Don’t you get that, Cam? With Preston it’s never a non-issue, because he doesn’t think straight. You know what he did with the money, right?”

  I knew in that moment that he hadn’t paid off Frankie, and the thought made me cold all over. I’d trusted him. I’d trusted that he was sincere, that he’d do right by his family and quit making mistakes. I couldn’t believe he’d double-crossed me.

  “No, I didn’t know that,” I told Dillon, my chest tightening at the thought of the million things Preston could have done with twenty-five grand instead of paying off his debt. Did he honestly have a fucking death wish?

  I saw fire in Dillon’s eyes. “He put it all on tonight’s fight, double or nothing, and if he loses, Frankie’s going to kill him.”

  I felt all the blood drain from my head and thought I might pass out, so I sat down hard on the chair behind me. “Are you serious?”

  “Yes, and he didn’t even fucking tell Callie. She had to find out when one of Frankie’s thugs approached her at the goddamn grocery store to tell her how her pretty baby was going to be without a daddy by the end of the night. She called me freaking out.”

  “Fuck,” I hissed. “I can’t fucking believe he would do that.”

  Goddammit, I hated my brother in that moment. After the sob story he’d given me and his promise to quit gambling, I’d believed he was a changed man. He wasn’t. He was still the same selfish guy he’d always been, and now he was going to die for it. Frankie would kill him without a second thought, and that would be it.

  “I have to get home,” I said, rising to my feet.

  The last thing I wanted to do was host a party where I’d have to be fun and goofy and playful. I was feeling none of those things in that moment.

  “That’s not going to do you any good,” Dillon said when I was halfway to my bedroom.

  I turned to look at him. “Why?”

  “Because Preston’s gone. He took off after Callie confronted him. No one can find him.”

  “He’s probably at a friend’s house,” I said, knowing that’s where he’d end up if he was trying to hide out.

  Dillon shook his head. “He’s not. He bought a plane ticket to Vancouver, and then he rented a car. No one knows where he went, but my guess is that he’s hiding out across the border in case this thing goes south.”

  “Why couldn’t he have just paid off his debt like he said he would?” I growled, the sinking feeling in my stomach growing.

  I knew my brother. If he lost everything tonight, he’d never come home. He’d hide out for the rest of his life, because he’d know that Frankie would kill him the second he set foot in Michigan. He’d never come home again, and because of that his son would grow up without a father, Ella and Asher wouldn’t have him in their life, the gym would fall apart, and my mother would be devastated. He’d destroy everything.

  “He didn't pay his debt because he’s Preston,” Dillon spat. “He fucks everything up, and I’m tired of him fucking up my sister’s life. It’s because of him that she’s miserable all the time.”

  My eyes flashed as I looked at him in anger. “Back off, Dillon. Callie’s a grown woman, and last time I checked, she chose to stay with Preston all these years, and she slept with him after they broke up. She’s just as much at fault for going back to him.”

  “Yeah, but does he have to keep fucking things up?”

  “No, he doesn’t,” I said, my anger switching from my best friend back to my brother where it belonged.

  Preston was a bastard, and I knew there was nothing I could do to save him. He did this to himself, and I wouldn’t be able to bail him out even if I wanted to. I sure as hell wasn’t giving him another cent. I was done with that.

  “God, could this month get any worse?!” I screamed, my head tilted back as I looked to the sky for some answers. I knew none would come, though.

  “I was having a great month,” Dillon said, shaking his head.

  “Yeah, me too. Then I got dumped, and now this s
hit.”

  Dillon’s eyes got wide. “Andi dumped you?”

  “For her ex-boyfriend. But that’s not important. Where are Callie and Parker?”

  “At my parents’ house. Gerard and Cliff are with them. I told them to not leave until I gave the order, and I don’t plan on giving that order anytime soon. I doubt Frankie knows where they live, but I’m not taking any chances.”

  I nodded. Gerard and Cliff were two guys who usually did security for us while we were on tour. They were both tough as shit and would do whatever it took to protect Dillon’s family. I thought about my family, but was reassured by the fact that my mom was traveling and Ted had taken Asher and Ella to his parents’ house in Green Bay. My dad would never listen if I told him to get out of town for the night, and he’d take a shotgun to anyone who tried to come in his house. For the night, at least, my family was safe, but after that I’d have to figure out what I could do to protect them. If Preston lost tonight, and Frankie couldn’t find him, he’d go after my family as payment. I wasn’t going to let that happen.

  “I want to call Callie,” I said absently.

  I felt like I needed to apologize for my role in this debacle, although in reality, had I not given Preston the money, he still would have been in this situation. I’d genuinely thought I was helping.

  Dillon shook his head. “I wouldn’t call her. She’s pretty fired up right now.”

  I nodded. “I never should have given him the money. I should have known this would happen.”

  Dillon shrugged. “It’s Preston. This is what he does.”

  “I know.”

  “Shit, man, if this goes south, Frankie’s going to be out for blood,” Dillon said, telling me what I already knew.

  “He’ll be out for more than that. He might want to hurt our families out of spite, but in the end, he’ll want his money, and he’ll know exactly where to get it.”

  Dillon nodded gravely, understanding all too well that Frankie would come after me to pay off Preston’s debt. I realized that’s what I should have done in the first place. I never should have given the money to Preston. I should have paid Frankie directly.