Westside Series Box Set

by Monica Alexander

  I wasn’t planning to do any of that, but it had been a desperate sort of day full of impulsive decisions. I knew I couldn’t rule anything out.

  “I promise,” I said, hoping I’d be able to keep my word, but I wasn't above breaking it.

  “Fine. I’ll meet you downstairs in five minutes. We’ll have one drink, and that’s it.”

  “Thank you, thank you, thank you, Chris. Seriously. You’re the best.”

  “One drink,” he repeated, and in my head I thought about the time I’d said those exactly words with the same sort of firmness. One drink had turned into so much more, and I was hoping the same for this time.

  I knew if I got in front of Cam, if I told him I loved him and explained everything, he’d believe me. He had to know I’d never cheat on him. I cared about him too much. I just had to get to him first, and Chris was the key to that. This ‘one drink’ suddenly meant everything.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Cam

  I was buzzing hard because I’d been drinking steadily all night. Getting drunk wasn’t an option, but I could get as close as I could to being drunk without falling over the line. I was just sort of at that point where I just needed to be numb. Considering all the shit that had been swirling around my life for the past week – pretty much the shittiest one of my life – I needed to tune out and forget so I wouldn’t break character on stage.

  Being that it was New Year’s Eve and people were all in love or pairing off or just looking for some fun, when I looked around the club, I was made painfully aware of what I’d lost. I wanted to hit something when I thought of how different the night would have been had I been spending it with Andi. And the garbage with my brother was just making everything worse, magnifying the feelings engulfing me.

  I was a little sad. I was a little worried. I was a little angry. Actually, I was a lot angry. And possibly jealous. And pretty much irritated with everything and everyone. And now that we were backstage, I could finally let all of that frustration out.

  I just wanted the night to be over, but we still had an hour before we could head back to our suite. I had no idea what Dillon and Meredith planned to do, but I had a date with my bed since I had a feeling I was going to be up early on a flight back to Detroit to pay off a crazy-ass gang member so he didn’t murder my entire family.

  At least I’d been able to hold my shit together on stage for the last few hours. The energy at the club had been high all night, and Dillon and I had done what we could to keep it there as we‘d counted down to midnight, talking and joking with Veronica Isaac, the reality TV star who was hosting with us. She was tall and tan, and she kept sticking her tits in my face, which didn’t do shit for me.

  A few months ago I would have taken her not-so-subtle cues and invited her back to my hotel suite, but tonight that was the last thing I wanted to do. She was hot, and she was the type of girl I used to like for frivolous one-night stands, but now I couldn’t even fathom kissing her.

  Andi had broken me. She’d taken the guy I’d once been who didn’t give a shit about what would happen the next morning and turned him into a guy who wanted to cry into his beer because the girl he loved had casually torn his heart to shreds.

  And I couldn’t even talk about it. No, I had to be whimsical and funny. I had to play with the audience and tease my co-hosts and act like I was having the time of my life. I had to flirt with Veronica, because that’s what was expected of me.

  We were only on stage for fifteen minute intervals when the deejay took breaks, but it was enough to bring my raw feelings to the surface, which of course made me have to push them back down again since they couldn’t come out in front of a roomful of strangers.

  The worst part was the conversation we’d had right before we’d stepped off-stage this last time. We’d been talking about love and lust, and stupid Veronica had forced me to answer a bunch of questions I hadn’t wanted to answer, and I’d had to do it with a smile on my face which made my chest hurt.

  That was when I’d started drinking more heavily, chasing the entire conversation with beer. But now that I’d come off-stage and had fifteen minutes to digest everything, my comments were resonating with me, and I was feeling lower than I had earlier in the night.

  I cringed as I thought of what I’d jovially disclosed to a roomful of strangers. I didn’t play with the media, and I didn’t share personal details about my life when I could help it, but tonight I hadn’t abided by any of those rules, and I was afraid I’d lost my damn mind. It definitely felt like I had.

  “So you guys have been in love, right?” Veronica had asked us.

  “I’m currently in love,” Dillon had said immediately. “My amazing girlfriend is here tonight, backstage looking hot as hell, and I can’t wait to kiss her at midnight.”

  I’d rolled my eyes dramatically, giving the audience a laugh.

  “Aww, I think that’s adorable,” Veronica had said playfully, winking at me. “But apparently some of us up here on stage don’t do love.”

  “Some of us just hook up,” I’d said, the old me coming out in the lie I told.

  “Some of us do,” Veronica agreed, winking at me again as she flirted her ass off.

  I grinned at her because I had to.

  “Although being in love can be pretty great too,” she continued. “Have you ever been in love, Cam?”

  Dillon snorted, because he knew how much I hated that question. I got asked it frequently in interviews.

  “You were right,” he said to Veronica, shaking his head. “Cam doesn’t do love.”

  He said that, because it’s what he always said to help me out with nosey interviewers, but it just wasn’t true anymore. I’d told him, but I wasn’t sure if he really realized how far I’d fallen for Andi. He hadn’t seen us together. He didn’t know that I’d tumbled completely ass-over-end in love with her.

  “Aww, that’s so sad,” Veronica teased as the two of them ganged up on me. “Why don’t you do love, Cam?”

  “Because he thinks having a girlfriend is a waste of time,” Dillon said, just saying whatever he felt like. Dick.

  “Hey,” I interjected, feeling the need to defend myself. “I don’t feel that way.”

  Dillon looked at me skeptically even though I’d just fucking told him three hours earlier that I was in love with Andi. He was being a dick because he was still pissed about what Preston had done, and he knew I’d never talk about Andi in public. Not now, at least.

  “So, have you ever had a girlfriend, Cam?” Veronica asked. “Because I’ve never heard of you being linked to anyone for more than a few weeks.”

  She was one to talk. She was more of a player than Van was. In fact, they’d probably get along great. I should introduce them.

  “As a matter of fact, I have had a girlfriend,” I told Veronica haughtily.

  Dillon apparently felt the need to interject again. “Aww, was that the girl you had a crush on back in high school that you never got up the nerve to talk to? Who you pretended was your girlfriend?” he teased.

  I wanted to punch him in his stupid smiling mouth for bringing that up. It was a lifetime ago when I couldn’t muster up the courage to talk to the hot girl in my English class. But I’d never pretended she was my girlfriend. He’d taken liberties with that addition to the story as he tried to make it more entertaining.

  But instead of punching him, because we both knew this was part of the game we had to play, I plastered a smile on my face and said, “From what I remember, that was actually you. And if I also remember correctly, I was the one who had to give Meredith your number because you were too scared to approach her.”

  Dillon smirked at me and shook his head, doing his part to keep the teasing banter going. Our fans loved that we’d grown up together and had history, so when we brought up stuff from when we were kids, they ate it up. Tonight was no different.

  “Touché,” Dillon said around his smirk.

  “Aww, you guys are too cute,” Veronica gush
ed. “I love that you’re BFFs from way back. You must know everything about each other.”

  Dillon and I looked at each other and smirked. Both of us knew more than we’d ever tell anyone, and that was our subtle way of re-securing that commitment. When we’d gotten into Westside, we said certain things were off limits, and we’d kept that pack ever since. When you’re life is on display like ours had been from the start, there are certain things you want to keep close. That was how I knew he’d never bring Andi up.

  “We know enough,” I confirmed.

  “So fun,” she gushed. “So tell me, Dillon, Cam really hasn’t ever been in love?”

  “Only with himself,” Dillon teased.

  “Ha, ha,” I said, shaking my head in mock annoyance. “You guys suck.”

  “You’ve really never been in love at all?” Veronica asked me, pressing the issue as she batted her eyelashes for effect.

  “Have you?” I countered.

  “Yes, I have actually. It’s been a while, but once there was a boy I loved.”

  “That’s adorable,” I said, mimicking her earlier comment.

  She shot me a playful wicked look. Then she said, “You didn’t answer my question, Cam. Have you ever been in love?” She turned to the audience who was watching us in amusement, even though she was still talking to me. “I can see they’re all dying to know, and it sort of feels like your dodging the question. Doesn't it?”

  The audience cheered in agreement with her, so I shifted my gaze to them, hesitating before I decided to just come clean. No one would know who I was talking about anyway, so it didn’t matter. But I wasn't going to get away with not answering. That was for sure.

  “You know, I have been in love,” I said proudly, and then reality smacked me in the forehead as I remembered how that love had ended, and the smile threatened to slip from my face.

  “So what happened?” Veronica probed.

  “He woke up,” Dillon teased, so I shot him a glare as Veronica laughed.

  “Actually, it’s a really depressing story,” I said, taking a long swig of my drink, finishing it off. Someone nearby, an assistant of some sort, took my empty bottle and handed me a full one. That had been my request all night. Keep the drinks coming. “She actually chose her ex-boyfriend over me.”

  Veronica pouted, expressing her empathy for poor, pitiful me. “Over you? That’s crazy. She obviously didn't realize what she had. I’m so sorry, Cam.”

  I shrugged. “It kind of sucked. I’m not going to lie.”

  It sucked so bad, and it still sucked because I was still living it with images of those stupid pictures burned into my brain along with the disdainful way Reid had sized me up at dinner. So what if I wasn’t the country club type? So what if I grew up poor? So what if I wore fucking high tops? Screw anyone who didn’t accept me for me – especially that asshole and Andi’s stuck up parents. I was good enough for her, dammit. I was enough.

  But she’d still chosen him, so I guess that didn't matter.

  Veronica nodded a few times, looking curious all of a sudden. “So, this wasn’t the girl you were seeing recently, was it?”

  “No,” I said, quickly. “Not at all.”

  “But I heard something about pictures surfacing of her and her ex. What happened there?” Veronica probed, and I knew my acting skills were about to pay off as she just about crossed a line.

  “Not much. She was just a girl I was seeing. We were never serious or exclusive.”

  The lie stung my insides since it was so far from the truth that I hated to even think it.

  “That’s sort of been the story of your life since you got into Westside, am I right?” she asked.

  I shrugged. “I suppose it has been.”

  “So are you looking to hook up tonight?” she asked, and Dillon slung his arm around my shoulders.

  “My boy’s always looking to hook up,” he said, and cheers erupted from around the club.

  “That’s great news,” Veronica said with a grin. “Because we have a club full of girls who I’m sure would volunteer.” She turned to the crowd. “Isn’t he just the cutest, ladies?”

  The audience went nuts, and I was reminded of why I love being on stage. The energy of the crowd, no matter how misdirected, always made me feel better – as did the numerous beers I was pounding. It was all a weak balm to my broken heart, though.

  “I’m flattered, ladies,” I said forcing myself to act playful. “We’ll have to see how the night goes.”

  I wasn’t hooking up with anyone. It wasn’t going to happen, but they didn’t need to know that.

  “We certainly will,” Veronica said, very subtly staking her territory just in case anyone else thought they might have a shot with me.

  Sad news for them all, including Veronica, I was taken. Andi and I might not be together anymore, but she still had my heart, and I was afraid I wasn’t going to get it back anytime soon.

  “I think Veronica’s pissed at you, man,” Dillon said pulling me back to the moment where we were hanging out backstage.

  Meredith was perched on his lap and was kissing him intermittently. I didn’t want to be upset by it, but when you’re feeling scorned and heartbroken, seeing people around you in love just plain sucks.

  I shrugged. “So what. She should have kept her mouth shut.”

  “She was just doing her job.”

  “She didn’t have to bring up, Andi,” I countered.

  “I agree with Cam,” Chris said, chiming in.

  He was hanging with us, and Dillon’s bodyguard Tommy was outside the door making sure no one else came in – especially Veronica who I’d told couldn’t come in. She’d tried, since she’d been hanging out with us throughout the night, even though she had her own room across the hall. After what she’d said on-stage, I wasn’t in the mindset to be around her. Flirting with her because I had to was one thing, but that shit wasn’t going to continue once we stepped off the stage – not after she’d made everything I still felt for Andi resurface. Fuck that.

  “She didn’t know it would bug you,” Dillon said, and I wasn’t sure why he was defending Veronica.

  “Well, it did,” I grumbled.

  “You should just call, Andi,” Meredith said, voicing her opinion on the subject for the first time.

  I felt my eyes get wide. “Call her? Are you joking?”

  “No, I’m not,” she said, smiling sweetly at me.

  Mere knew I’d never yell at her. I wasn’t that kind of guy, and I liked her too much, so she probably figured she could push without risking any backlash.

  “I agree with Mere,” Chris said, shrugging like it was no big deal.

  I turned to look at him. “Are you going to just parrot everyone’s opinions tonight?” I asked him, and he just shrugged as he settled back against the couch.

  “If it were me, I’d call her,” he said, as if it was just that simple.

  “I’m not calling her,” I said firmly, like I’d been saying for the past week every time he brought it up.

  “Dude, you’re so in love with her, and you’re being stubborn. You have no idea if those picture are even legit.”

  “They looked legit,” I reminded him, because he’d seen them too, and he’d agreed that it looked like she was kissing Reid.

  “Yeah, they did, but at the same time, you don’t know the story behind them. Keep in mind that you left, you froze Andi out, and you didn’t answer her calls. You quite possibly might be to blame for this.”

  I felt anger flash in my eyes as I glared at him, and he threw his hands up in defense. “Hey! Don’t blame me. I’m just the observer in this situation. It’s your love life. I just happen to have a front row seat to it, and I’m telling you, you’re making a mistake.”

  “Dude, she hooked up with her ex, the guy her parents love. Maybe I just need to back off and realize that we weren’t supposed to be together. If you remember, they hate me.”

  Chris shook his head. “You’re an idiot, and you’re a
pussy.”

  “I think I kind of agree with Chris,” Dillon chimed in.

  I turned to glare at him. “Fuck you both.”

  “No, fuck you,” Chris retorted. “If you really want this, if you really love her and want to be with her, you’ll put all that other bullshit to the side and tell her how you feel. You’ll let her make the decision for herself.”

  “She knows how I feel,” I grumbled.

  “No, she knows that you left and never called again,” Chris told me. “She has no idea why you even bolted. No wonder she hooked up with someone else. You ran and didn’t look back.”

  “I did look back, and when I did, all I saw was her parents glaring at me and telling me I was trash!”

  Chris sighed “Cam, I get why you left. I wouldn’t have stayed either, but you should have told her why. You should have called her, and you should have told her that you love her.”

  “I was going to, but then those stupid pictures surfaced, and I knew I’d lost her.”

  “You don’t actually know that,” Meredith reminded me. “You’re assuming, but that could have been a one-time mistake. He could have kissed her and she pushed him away right after. You don’t know, and you of all people should know better than to believe everything you see online.”

  I growled in frustration, realizing she was probably right. But I was afraid to call Andi for fear that the pictures were real and that she was back with Reid. I didn’t want to hear that. It was easier to bury my head in the sand.

  “Just call her, Cam,” Chris insisted. “Call her and tell her you’re sorry. Tell her you love her and that you want to be with her.”

  “But what if she says she wants to be with him?” I argued, knowing that would break my heart all over again.

  “If she really loved him she would be with him tonight,” he reminded me, and I looked up in surprise.

  “She isn’t? How do you know that?”

  Chris faltered, like he realized he’d said something he shouldn’t have.

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “What do you know?”