by Jean Kincaid
“Welcome to your new home.” His warm voice pulled her from the confusion of her heart.
“If you’ll take him, I’ll put the horses and wagon away. Maggie will have my head if I let them come to harm.” Caleb placed the baby gently in her arms then took Jonathan’s things and her bag from the wagon and handed them to her.
“Thank you.” She put the bags on the ground and tucked the blanket more securely around the baby. Satisfied he was safe from the cool breeze, she reached down and retrieved her things. All she needed was a sick baby on her hands. She took a deep breath, suddenly feeling ill equipped for the task ahead of her.
Caleb touched Jonathan’s head and looked into Julianne’s eyes. “I hope you will be happy here, Julianne.”
She searched his face. What did he expect from her? Whatever it was, she hoped she could provide it. Should she tell him that her misgivings increased by the minute? He held her gaze steadily, expectant it appeared. No, she couldn’t trouble him with her own uneasiness. “I’ll try to be.” To her dismay her voice wavered.
His hand dropped from the baby’s head as she turned toward the cabin. She looked over her shoulder as she set the extra things by the door. Caleb was leading the horse to the barn.
Julianne opened the cabin door and stepped inside. Her first impression was one of cleanliness and order. A large table sat in the center of the left side of the room. Toward the back wall was the kitchen.
To her right, opposite the kitchen, a bed covered with a Star of David quilt took up most of the space in that area. A beautifully crafted cradle stood by the side of the bed. Small butterflies and flowers decorated the baby’s new bed. At the foot of the bed was a tall wooden divider. One would only have to pull it a few feet to have complete privacy in the bedroom.
She moved to the cradle and laid the baby inside. His sleeping face pouted for a moment before he sighed and stuck his thumb in his mouth. Satisfied he was comfortable, she went back outside to the porch.
She stared at the barn, wondering how long it would be before Caleb would come inside. She picked up her bag and the baby’s things and stepped back inside the house. She placed them on the bed then walked to the foot of the stairs. She gripped the post rail, tempted to run up and check whether there was another bedroom or only storage up there.
She heard the scraping of boots against wooden steps and knew the time had come. She wrung her hands together nervously and tiptoed to the baby’s side. No help would be forthcoming from the little tyke. His steady breathing told her deep sleep had captured him.
* * *
“Anyone home?” Caleb called as he entered the house. He felt out of place in his own house.
She stepped from behind the bedroom divider. “I’m here.”
Caleb came further into the room. He pulled out a chair and sank into it, his knees suddenly weak. “I think you and I should talk. Really talk.”
He studied her quite openly, watching her inch forward, her bottom lip caught between pearly white teeth. She paused in uncertainty then seemed to gather her courage. Somehow she managed to face him, finely arched eyebrows raised in question. “Okay. What do you want to talk about?”
He motioned to the only other available chair then waited till she was seated. “For starters, we really don’t know each other, and we need to. Maybe we should have had this conversation earlier, but since we didn’t, I think now would be a good time. Don’t you?”
Julianne nodded, but when she didn’t say anything, Caleb began to doubt he’d done the right thing by initiating a personal conversation so soon. He should have simply said good-night and gone to bed. Never one to beat the devil around the stump he continued. “I’ll start.”
Receiving no encouragement from her whatsoever, he began hesitantly. “I’m from New York. I moved here in fifty-nine. I was nineteen years old and green as a gourd.” He chuckled softly. “My sister, Estelle, and her husband had just gotten married, and I decided I needed to start a life of my own rather than invade their privacy, them being newlyweds and all.” Caleb paused.
“Please go on.” Julianne moved forward in her chair.
Finally! Caleb crossed his arms on the table. “I hired on with William Taylor here at the logging camp.” He stopped and took a deep breath.
“My sister wrote and told me her husband had been wounded in the War Between the States. He seemed to recover, although his leg never fully healed. Then infection set in and they had to amputate. He died in November. Estelle was three months pregnant with their first child so I sent the fare for her to come here and live with me. She was supposed to arrive five days ago.” His voice broke with huskiness and his eyes stung. “Instead, the captain met me with the news that my sister had died in childbirth aboard his ship just two short days before arriving.”
“I’m so sorry, Caleb.” Her hand covered his, and then he watched the shock of discovery hit her full force. “Jonathan?”
“Is her son.”
Her lip trembled and she closed her eyes for a brief moment. Caleb felt helpless, and for the first time in his life, he was speechless.
“So Jonathan’s just seven days old.” Her voice sounded vague but he knew that could be deceptive since one expression after another crossed her features. When she looked at him again, her eyes were filled with compassion and something he couldn’t quite define. She brushed the back of his hand in a soothing motion. Had she seen the pain of his sister’s death in his face? Why had he started this?
“My parents died quite a long time ago, so I know what it’s like to grow up without a loving father and mother.”
Caleb witnessed her own sorrow deep in her eyes. He turned his hand so that hers rested in his palm. The action seemed to bring her back from the past.
“I’m sorry your sister died but I’m glad she left you baby Jonathan.”
“Thank you.”
“It’s a great responsibility to raise someone else’s child. If you have even a small inkling that you can’t provide the nurturing and constant attention and love Jonathan needs, then you should place him with a family that can give that type of support.”
Her words were an affront to his character, but Caleb suspected she spoke from experience rather than a desire to insult him. He purposefully loaded his answer with double meaning.
“Jonathan is all the family I have left. I already love him and I will protect him with my life. I only want people around him who have his best interests at heart. Less than that is unacceptable.” He watched for a change in her composure. Better she should know now what he expected of her.
She smiled. “I’d better get you something to eat.”
Surprised again by this unpredictable woman, Caleb tightened his grip on her hand. “I’d rather talk than eat.”
Julianne stood to her feet still clutching his hand. “We can do both.” She reached out and caught his other hand, pulling him to his feet.
Reluctantly, he let her go but followed close behind. “How about johnnycakes? I have all the fixings.”
“Sure, show me where things are, and I’ll whip up a batch.” She pulled a skillet off one of the hooks that hung over the wood-burning cookstove.
Cornmeal, baking powder, one egg and a jar of milk were soon gathered on the table. “Do you have any sugar?” Julianne found a large wooden bowl and began mixing the ingredients together.
Caleb got the sugar and set it beside the milk. He wondered what she planned on doing with it, but didn’t ask.
Jonathan woke up with a cry.
“I’ll get him.” Caleb picked up the little fellow. He took the baby back into the kitchen where Julianne worked.
“There’s a pap feeder in his bag.” She offered, pouring batter into a hot skillet. “Be careful, that nipple isn’t going to last much longer.”
“This was the only thing that arrived with him from the ship.” He studied the rubber nipple that fit down over an oval-shaped piece of ceramic bottle. It smelled a little bit and allowed too much mi
lk to flow into the baby’s mouth causing a steady dribble out the side and onto Caleb’s shirt. He felt pretty sure he could make something a good sight better than this.
The aroma of batter cooking filled the house and caused his stomach to grumble. Julianne worked confidently and quickly. Jonathan sucked noisily on the bottle. If a man didn’t know better, he’d be lulled into believing they were a real family.
Almost.
He still didn’t know enough about his new wife to trust her. Had she taken Sloan’s money? And what was she running from?
She interrupted his thoughts. “Here, give me the baby, and you eat while it’s hot.”
Caleb did as she said. He watched her sink into a chair and snuggle the baby close. “Aren’t you going to eat?”
“As soon as Jonathan finishes.” She rocked back and forth with the baby.
He picked up the honey and started to pour it. Her voice stopped him. “Don’t you want to try them first?” She brought the baby to her shoulder and gently patted his back.
Caleb tore a bite-size piece of the johnnycake expecting the saltiness of corn pone. Instead, sweetness teased his taste buds. “It’s sweet.”
“Do you like it?”
Jonathan’s burp filled the room and Julianne praised him. “Good boy.”
Caleb wondered if Julianne had the same love as he for sweets. “This is very good.” Her smile broadened at his words. Well this sure was a blessing. She could cook. It would be worth having a wife just to get a decent meal now and then.
After a few minutes, Jonathan yawned. Caleb stood and reached for the baby. “Here, let me take him. I’ll put him to bed.” A blush like a shadow ran over her cheeks and she handed the baby to him, her bearing stiff and proud.
“I can do it.”
“I’m sure you can, but you need to eat, and I don’t mind.” Caleb gently took the baby from her. He carried the baby to his cradle and slowly rocked it back and forth until Jonathan fell asleep.
When he returned to the kitchen, Julianne had already cleaned up. She stood by the window looking out into the darkness.
Caleb stopped a few inches from her and looked over her head into the night. If Julianne felt his presence, she didn’t show it. The night was black; no light from the moon or the stars could be seen.
“It’s late.” Her soft whisper surprised him.
Now was the time to bring up the subject he knew both of them had avoided all day. Would she be pleased by his thoughts on the subject? He took a deep breath and blurted.
“It’s time for bed, Julianne.”
Chapter 5
Julianne spun around and sputtered. “I beg your pardon?”
“That didn’t come out right.”
She watched Caleb’s face and neck turn beet red. “I should say not.” New fear enveloped her. Julianne pushed her back as close to the window as she could.
They were married, and he had every right to expect her to sleep with him, but surely there was a better way of saying it. What kind of man had she married? Just when she thought he was kind and understanding, he blurted out “it’s time for bed” as if he could demand it.
Caleb took a step away from her. She flinched when he brought one hand up. She expected him to grab her at any moment and drag her to bed.
He combed his fingers through his hair looking even more embarrassed. “Look, I only meant it is time for us to get some sleep. You can take the bed down here, and I’ll take the one upstairs.”
Her gaze followed his pointing finger. “It was to be my room anyway until I could build a second set of rooms on the back.”
He didn’t mean to sleep with her? To make her perform her wifely duties? She studied him for several long moments. Could he be believed?
“Look, you and I don’t know each other well enough to share that kind of intimacy. I want my wife to be in love before we are man and wife in more than just name. I believe that is the way God would want it to be, also.” He dropped his hands. “I moved my stuff up there a few days ago, when I thought my sister would be living here with me.”
Julianne wanted to believe him. Even as he climbed the stairs, she still wasn’t sure of his intentions.
For several long minutes she heard him moving around above. The creak of a mattress told her he’d lain down. “Good night, Julianne.”
She moved to her own bed and sat down. “Good night, Caleb.”
A little later, his soft snores filled the house. Julianne checked on the baby and then prepared for bed. She lay on the soft feather mattress listening to her new husband sleep above her.
The baby woke her from restless sleep several times during the night, needing to be changed and fed. Then he spent at least an hour grunting and whimpering as if his tummy hurt. Finally, nearing daybreak, Julianne snuggled him close to her in the bed and he fell asleep, his little body shuddering with sighs. She’d taken care of his needs all while praying he wouldn’t wake the man upstairs.
When morning came, Julianne was exhausted. Long before the sun rose in the sky, she heard Caleb get up and move around. His soft footsteps came down the stairs and moved about the kitchen.
She peeked from under the covers to see what he was doing. Julianne sighed, glad he’d found the johnnycakes she’d left out for his breakfast.
Then he turned in her direction. Julianne closed her eyes tightly and pretended to be asleep. She felt his warm lips on her forehead and heard his soft whisper.
“Have a good day, Julianne. Be sure and bolt the door when I leave. Don’t go into the woods today, we have a lot to go over before you leave the yard.” He kissed her forehead once more and left.
As soon as the door shut, Julianne bolted from the bed and locked the door. She heard his soft chuckle on the other side. Mortified that he hadn’t left, she raced back to the bed and dived under the covers.
Then she giggled.
He’d cared enough to make sure she had bolted the door. It was sneaky and sweet at the same time. Her heart warmed toward her new husband.
In a matter of minutes, she was sound asleep.
Jonathan woke her several hours later. Julianne quickly replaced his wet diaper and fed him milk from the leather pouch Caleb kept in the square wooden box that held the butter and cream. Then she ate a johnnycake from the night before. Next, she prepared a pot of stew and placed it on the stove to cook. She didn’t want to admit it, but she was thoroughly enjoying her morning.
She straightened the little cabin and put Jonathan down for a nap. Her gaze moved to the room upstairs. Should she go up and clean it?
Julianne made sure the front door was bolted and then climbed the stairs. A bed took up most of the floor. She noted it hadn’t been made and wondered if she should make it. But if she did, he would know she had been in his room, and she wasn’t sure she wanted him to know she’d been snooping.
Knocking at the door made her decision for her. Julianne raced down the stairs as fast as her feet would let her without slipping. She crossed to the door and demanded, “Who’s there?”
“Maggie.”
Julianne unbolted the door. “Come on in.” She pulled the door open to its fullest.
Maggie dragged a big bag across the threshold. “It’s about time you opened that door. A woman could die of heat stroke while you dallied around in here.”
“I’m sorry. I was cleaning and didn’t hear you. Besides, it’s not hot out there.”
Maggie dropped into a chair. “No, but it was a nice trip to make on a sunny day. I’m parched.”
Julianne shut the door and turned to face her visitor. “What’s in the bag?” Julianne pushed her hair out of her eyes.
“A couple of the men sent their laundry for you to do. You still want to take in laundry, don’t you?”
Julianne dipped out a cup of cool well water and gave it to Maggie. “Of course I do, but I’d rather we not tell Caleb just yet.”
She watched Maggie tip the cup back and drink its contents before handing it back to
her. “Why in the world would you want to keep it a secret from Caleb?”
“Well, he’s a proud man, and I feel really bad that he had to pay Sloan the money for my passage. I want to earn the money back and that way we will have it as a nest egg.”
Julianne waved the cup. “Would you like more?”
Maggie shook her head. “Naw. I still don’t understand what difference it would make if you told Caleb you’re doing laundry for the men.”
Julianne studied the creases between Maggie’s eyes. The woman really didn’t understand. “Maggie, if you had a husband, how do you think he would feel if he knew you were cooking for over fifty men a day, three times a day for money?”
She watched as understanding dawned on Maggie. “Are you saying it’s an issue of pride?”
Julianne nodded. “That’s exactly what I’m saying. After I make enough money to replace what he paid, I’ll tell him what I’m doing. Then, if he doesn’t want me to continue working, I’ll quit.”
Maggie slapped the table and laughed. “Okay gal, I’ll help you. As far as those mule heads in camp know, I’m doing their laundry and none will be the wiser.” She stood to go.
“Thanks, Maggie.” Julianne hugged her new friend close. “I promise I’ll let Caleb in on our little secret as soon as I can.”
The older woman seemed uncomfortable with the hug, but didn’t push her away. “Just be sure that you do. I don’t like deceiving, Caleb. He’s a good man.”
* * *
Hours later, Caleb wondered what he’d find when he returned home. Would his new wife cower from him? Lord, please let her learn not to fear me.
He opened the door a crack. “Is that beef stew I smell?” A quick glance took in the spotless cabin and Julianne standing at the stove with a big ladle in one hand, Jonathan cradled in her other arm.
“It’s about ready. Have you washed up?” Julianne stirred the contents of the big pot.
“Sure did. Here, let me take this little fellow off your hands.” Caleb walked across the room and took the baby. He sat down in his chair and really looked at the child.