Their Shifter Academy 3: Undone

by May Dawson

  He nodded. “Then go put your hands against the wall, please.”

  His cold, polite tone did nothing to diffuse my rage.

  I yanked my blouse off with hands that trembled with anger, not fear. I hoped Rafe knew the difference.

  Then I pressed my palms against the cool white wall. It was cool in the dorms, and goosebumps rose on my arms, my muscles tightening against the chill. As cold swept over me, I tried not to shiver. I didn’t want Rafe to think I was shaking in fear. That asshole. It was like he didn’t know me at all.

  I’d get through this. I’d be strong.

  “Ready?” Rafe came to my side, standing slightly behind me. From my peripheral vision, I could just see him, sleeves rolled up, but I couldn’t see his face. I glanced over my shoulder, looking for the tawse, which dangled from his right hand. It looked longer and thicker and more foreboding than it had in Rafe’s bookshelf.

  “Ready,” I said. My anger felt like armor, at least. I was determined to show him I wasn’t the delicate flower.

  The room seemed very quiet, so quiet that I could hear the movement of his arm through the air as he pulled back the strap.

  I winced at the sound of leather hissing through the air. When the blow landed, it knocked me forward with its power. I felt the impact first. Then pain burned across my shoulders, so intense that it stole the breath from my lungs.

  It was worse than I expected. Fear tightened my chest and formed a sudden lump in my throat. It was fear that I wasn’t as brave as I thought, just as much as fear of the next blow.

  But I locked my arms out, forcing myself back into position, waiting for the next one.

  As soon as I was ready, Rafe didn’t hesitate. Again, the hiss of leather through the air; I bit my lip, squeezing my eyes closed, trying to steel myself for the blow.

  Pain sizzled across my back in the same spot that the first one had fallen. Two. Two out of twenty. It seemed an impossible amount to go on through.

  But even before I could lock my arms out again, the third blow knocked me forward. My elbows buckled, and I barely stopped myself from slamming into the wall.

  “Stay in position,” he warned me, his voice curt.

  He landed the next few blows in quick succession. I gasped at the sense of bruises and welts blooming under each stroke of the lash. My arms began to tremble, my knees suddenly weak. The sound of the strap resounded in the room, louder than I could have imagined. Maybe if it weren’t so loud, it wouldn’t have gotten in my head so badly. My eyes teared up from the pain, and the world around me went blurry.

  With the next blow from the strap, my trembling arms gave way. I swayed toward the wall before I painfully pushed myself back, tightening my muscles for the strap again. I blinked, and tears streamed down my face.

  “Move closer,” Rafe told me, his voice harsh. “Put your forearms against the wall.”

  I hesitated. Did Rafe take a time-out with Jensen to adjust his position?

  “That wasn’t a request. Do it, or I’ll help you,” he commanded.

  Reluctantly, I placed one forearm, then the other, against the wall, leaning forward.

  My hands knotted into fists in front of my face, my knuckles white. It looked as if I were praying. Was there a patron saint for a nexus of chaos? I should really look into that.

  I put my forehead down on my fists, and struggled to breathe in and out. My muscles trembled across my back, despite my best efforts.

  The next blow didn’t knock me forward. It just burned across my skin like a brand.

  I gasped again, except this one sounded like a sob. I bit down on my lower lip hard, determined not to cry out. I’d lost the count. I didn’t even know how many more there were to come.

  And I didn’t know how many more I could take.

  With the next blow, I tasted coppery blood in my mouth. I’d bitten deep into my lip.

  Another one, and I sobbed. There was no denying what it was.

  With the next stroke, the pain was unbearable.

  As Rafe pulled the strap back, I suddenly couldn’t take one more. I couldn’t even catch my breath; it hurt so badly that my lungs were tight, and I was just gasping now.

  I turned, raising my hand to stop him.

  He pulled back the strap that he’d begun to swing, his eyes widening. “Northsea! What the hell are you doing? Do you want to get hurt?”

  That question should’ve made me laugh—I was getting hurt, worse than I’d ever been hurt before—but instead I said hurriedly, “I just need a minute. Just a minute to catch my breath.”

  Rafe stared at me for a second. I couldn’t stop crying now. I was sure he was going to relent, because through the haze of my tears, his expression was worried.

  Then he ordered, “Get back into position.”

  I stared at him, my lips parting in confusion. “I need a break.”

  “What you need is to put your hands against the wall and finish the punishment you chose,” he said. “Get. Into. Position.”

  I’d never hated Rafe before, not really, but I hated him then. My chest hitched as I turned back to the wall. I couldn’t stop crying, and now it wasn’t just because my back was on fire with those deep welts.

  I asked for one small thing.

  And Rafe chose the rules over me.

  Every flash of tenderness or heat I’d ever seen had been my wishful imagination.

  I sobbed my way through the rest of the blows. My whole body shook, my muscles trembling out of control. My back was on fire, and with each blow I felt the impact knocking me forward, but the pain couldn’t get any worse. I couldn’t catch my breath.

  “It’s over,” he said, his voice breaking through my misery. He threw the strap down as if it burned him. “Maddie, are you all right?”

  His voice was gentle, and it made me angry all over again.

  I turned away from him, scrubbing my eyes with trembling fingers, but I couldn’t stop the tears streaming down my face.

  I didn’t answer as I crossed the room to my blouse, moving stiffly. When I pulled my blouse on, the muscles in my back and shoulders ached. I could already feel deep purple-black bruises forming across my skin.

  As much as I wanted to flee his room, I had to pull myself together. I couldn’t run out of here crying. Hopefully the guys were still out of the house—if any of them saw me like this, they’d want to kill Rafe. I headed for his door, trying to breathe, even though my chest was still hitching with sobs.

  Just as I reached the door, he said, “I never said you were dismissed.”

  I stayed facing the door as my chest heaved. Rafe had seen enough of me crying.

  “You’ve got to be kidding.” My voice broke, and I hated myself for it. I shouldn’t let Rafe see me weak like this.

  “Look at me.” His voice was stern and warm all at once, and it made fury tighten my chest even more. That tone had always convinced me before that he cared about me.

  I’d known he had to carry out the punishment. Hell, I’d tried to be grateful he was willing, when I’d thought it would be hard for him, but then it hadn’t been hard for him at all. The fact that he wouldn’t give me a break when I asked for one small favor… I didn’t think I could forgive that.

  “What do you want, Rafe?” I asked wearily, turning to face him.

  Evenly, he said, “I want to make sure you’re okay. I want to know what you’re thinking.”

  “You can tell me what to do, Rafe, and you can beat me if I don’t, but you can’t make me tell you what I think, and you probably don’t want to.” My quick words sounded like a slap in the quiet room, and Rafe’s eyes tightened as if it hurt.

  I pressed my lips together tightly to hold back other, angry words that could never be taken back. I couldn’t meet his gaze. He’d seen me at my most vulnerable and he’d had no mercy. My muscles were still trembling.

  “I know this was hard for you, but you got through it. You don’t have to feel ashamed.” His voice was gentle.

  That ge
ntleness, now, too late, felt like a jolt.

  “Who said I feel ashamed?” I shot back. “I think Clearborn should be ashamed. I think—”

  I trailed off. I’d said something to hurt him earlier, but I didn’t want to say anything else that neither of us would ever forget. But we both knew he was at the end of that sentence.

  “Then what are you crying about?” His voice came out blunt.

  “What do you think?”

  “I think you are ashamed. I think you’re embarrassed because you said it wouldn’t be a big deal, that you weren’t afraid, and then you broke down.”

  I couldn’t talk about this with him. I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes. “Can I go? Please? I don’t want anyone to see me like this…”

  “Am I just anyone now?” Rafe crossed the room to me in a few quick strides. “Jesus, Maddie. I never know how to get through to you.”

  “You want to know that I learned my lesson? Roger. No more throwing whatever object is at hand at the staff or faculty,” I said. “Can I go now?”

  His jaw was tight. “If that’s what you want. But I’m here to talk if you want to—”

  I cut him off with a short, bitter laugh. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

  He hesitated, as if he was going to try again, then nodded. “All right. I’ll tell Clearborn you served your punishment. Report to the infirmary before your morning classes tomorrow.”

  “Yes, sir,” I muttered.

  Then I jerked the door open and went out. I caught a glimpse of Rafe’s face, and I jerked my gaze away before I could even read his expression. I didn’t want to look at his stupid, handsome face again.

  I closed the door between us.

  Chapter Fifty-Five

  The hall outside Rafe’s room was too bright. I still had my hand on the knob when I glimpsed my white sleeve.

  No blazer.

  Resigning myself to one more minute in that godforsaken room, I pushed the door back open. I couldn’t stand to look at him. I meant to slip in and grab my blazer without looking at Rafe.

  We were supposed to be friends. I was a fool for ever thinking we were.

  His back was to me as I crept across the room, and as I reached out to grab my blazer from the back of the chair, I realized his shoulders were shaking.

  Something was wrong.

  I snatched the blazer off the back of the chair. I should go. I hesitated, then I heard his breath hitch. I couldn’t stand to just leave him.

  “Rafe?” I asked.

  His wide shoulders shook, then he suddenly went still. But he didn’t answer me.

  Uncertainly, I closed the three paces between us. He made no move to turn, and I frowned as I reached out and caught his bicep. I swung him around to face me.

  Rafe’s red-rimmed eyes met mine.

  “I thought you’d gone already,” he said, and I knew why he hadn’t answered me; his voice came out broken.

  I gazed up at him uncertainly. “What’s wrong, Rafe?”

  His lips twisted. “What do you think?”

  His chest shook one more time, and he quickly rubbed his eyes, the movement quick and embarrassed.

  I frowned as the scene from before my punishment played again in my head. He’d asked if there was any reason I’d ever leave the academy. And I’d made it quite clear I wanted to stay.

  “You didn’t think I’d get back into position after a break,” I said slowly. “So you pushed me to get through the rest of it.”

  He’d been standing up for what I wanted most when I couldn’t stand up for myself.

  When I decided to protect Tyson, I’d known I’d end up facing the tawse. I’d been willing to pay that cost. But I hadn’t realized that I wouldn’t be the only one to pay.

  It had hurt Rafe, too. I hadn’t even thought about him.

  He sat heavily in his desk chair, rubbing his hand across his face. I could feel his embarrassment; we’d both seen each other at our most vulnerable tonight. And I’d made it worse, rejecting him after he had tried to protect me. Regret twisted through my gut.

  “What can I do?” I asked softly.

  He shook his bowed head. “You don’t owe me anything, Maddie.”

  “We never do owing each other, do we?” I said, closing the distance between him until I stood just in front of him. I reached out to tentatively touch his broad shoulder. “You take care of me. I take care of you. In our own ways…”

  He raised his head, and a faint, rueful smile twisted his lush lips. He held his arms out to me.

  Without hesitation, I pressed myself against his chest as he drew me into his lap. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, keenly aware of how carefully he put his hand on my hip, never brushing against my bruised back. I rested my face in the curve of his neck, breathing in the scent of his aftershave.

  I couldn’t believe that we were here, like this, now. We’d been through hell together, a shared misery that left us both shaking and broken and vulnerable.

  I’d tried to run. He’d tried to hide. But in the end, we’d chosen to see and be seen at our worst.

  “How bad is it?” His hand gently brushed across my back, so lightly that his fingertips felt comforting even despite the sensitivity of the welts.

  “I didn’t like that very much,” I deadpanned. I rested my head against his shoulder, feeling his fingertips stroke gently up and down my back.

  “Yeah, me either,” he said.

  “So, same time next week?”

  He groaned. “Please no, Northsea.”

  We were talking like we usually did, as if everything that had happened that day was already forgotten.

  But I was pressed close to his body, and it felt like something had shifted between us.

  Chapter Fifty-Six

  Jensen

  I got the guys out of the house to go look for Harrington. Not to hurt him, necessarily, but to make sure he remembered the rules of the pit. No kidney shots.

  No putting our teammate, our Tyson, in the infirmary.

  When we headed into the foyer of another house, though, which looked the same as ours—same haunted institutional look with a fresh coat of paint and a dozen round tables for studying—someone must’ve called over to Lex, though, because we were in the hall outside Harrington’s room when Lex showed up.

  “Really?” Lex demanded in exasperation.

  I shrugged. “We just wanted to talk to Harrington.”

  “Get outside,” Lex snapped.

  Silas, Penn, Chase and I followed him out. Tyson stood in the yard outside, his posture stiff as if he was still aching from those kidney shots, but his hands in his pockets.

  “I’m touched you’d do something stupid for me,” Ty said, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

  “To be fair, the four of us will do something stupid for all kinds of causes,” Penn said.

  “Can’t you just let me have the moment?” Ty demanded.

  “See?” Lex said. “No reason to go psycho on Harrington.”

  “From what I heard, Maddie already covered that.”

  Guilt flashed across Tyson’s face. Before I could talk to him about that, someone interrupted me. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

  I turned to find Bret Flemington again.

  I was tense with worry about Maddie, but I made myself ask, “How’re you doing?”

  I kept imagining her narrow shoulders under the strap, and when I did, it made me tight with fury. But my protectiveness wouldn’t help her. She had to get through this to stay here at the academy.

  I still couldn’t help the other thing I kept imagining, which was how good it would feel to punch Rafe across the face. Or maybe Clearborn. Nah, I’d knee him in the nuts.

  Bret hesitated, as if he had something to say that had nothing to do with the state of his own back. “I heard something today that I really think you ought to know about.”

  “Okay,” I said.

  He glanced toward the house as if he was worried about being overhe
ard. I nodded goodbye to my friends, and Bret and I walked toward our house until we had privacy.

  “I overheard Duncan talking to his alpha, Garamond,” Bret said, before biting his lower lip nervously.

  I was sure only the best alpha had produced a fine bully like Duncan.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “They were talking about how to get someone alone during tomorrow’s three-on-three trials,” he said. “They knew the line-up, that our team would be one of the ones going against yours.”

  “The trials tomorrow are three-on-three and we’re against each other on the roster,” I repeated, to give him the chance to clarify. I hadn’t heard any of that yet, and I wondered if Rafe and Lex knew the plan for tomorrow’s drills. I wanted to verify his story. “Who were they trying to get alone?”

  “I didn’t hear, but I figured it had to be Maddie. Duncan hates her, and he got that grudge from Garamond—at least some of it.” His face paled slightly. “It sounded like… they were planning to get them alone and beat them. Someone no one will miss. I think they might… they might kill her.”

  “Do you know what they’re going to do? Specifically?”

  Bret shook his head. “That was all I could hear without getting caught. But I thought at least if you had a heads-up…”

  “Thanks,” I said. “It helps.”

  He nodded and headed away, then turned back. “I did hear one more thing. I don’t know if this makes any sense to you…”

  “What is it?”

  “They said something about magic, about uncovering magic. That once they did that, Duncan would get his place back, and even if he didn’t, that Garmond would make it up to him back in their own pack.”

  The word magic made my stomach drop.

  Yeah, definitely Maddie.

  “Weird,” I said, betraying no trace of emotion. “Thanks for telling me. We’ll be on the lookout tomorrow.”

  As soon as we got back into the dorm, I went to Maddie’s door.

  Ty seemed to move on silent feet, and he was suddenly beside me. “Going to check on her?”