Side Effects

by Lisa Suzanne

  I realized for the first time how incredibly horny I was. He’d left me unfulfilled, but he’d left me that way because he respected me, not because he got his and didn’t bother with me.

  He had to be the world’s most frustrating man.

  Ever.

  CHAPTER 11

  “I don’t care where we go.”

  “I don’t, either,” I said, for the first time in a long time actually meaning it. I didn’t care if we went to Strikers or somewhere else. All that would happen at Strikers would be me on my knees in the hallway, but I wasn’t sure that I really wanted to be there anymore. Tyler was sexy, for sure, but now that Reed had taken up permanent residence in my thoughts, I was starting to think it would be smart to break things off with Ty.

  But I didn’t truthfully think I was ready for that. Whatever was starting between Reed and me confused me. He consumed my every thought. He helped me push through the fears and demons that had consumed me for years. He allowed me to just be me, to cry and to get it all out when I didn’t even know I needed to. Somehow he had known what I needed better than I had.

  He managed to make me feel things that I didn’t know I could feel.

  But I wasn’t ready to give up everything else in my life in favor of Preppy Porter. I wasn’t ready to cut things off with Tyler just because suddenly a new guy had captured my attention. I had to remind myself who I was. I wasn’t the relationship type, yet here I sat, thinking about Reed and what a relationship with him might be like.

  It’s amazing what the next morning could do for my clarity. After Reed had left and I drowned my horniness with my vibrator and a whole lot more wine, I fell asleep (passed out) thinking about him. But I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to be so invested in someone I knew so little about.

  Maybe a night with Ty would clear up all the confusion.

  I felt guilty even thinking it. I felt like I was somehow betraying Preppy, even though the two of us hadn’t officially even started anything.

  Yet.

  But when he held me against him as I cried tears that were nearly ten years old, something changed between us. He became someone different to me. He became someone I could count on instead of the guy who irritated me at every turn. He became someone who cared about me instead of another guy who wanted to fuck me.

  He became Remarkable, Romantic Reed instead of Repulsive Reed.

  And I wasn’t sure if Talented Tyler would ever be able to top that.

  “Quinn?”

  Avery’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts and back to our conversation. “Sorry.”

  “Let’s just do Strikers. Mason might be going there and I kind of want to see him again.”

  Mason. The guy who Reed was with the first night I met him.

  Interesting.

  But Strikers also meant Tyler, and I wasn’t necessarily down with seeing Reed and Tyler in the same place. Not after what Reed and I had shared the night before and not after Reed had admitted his insecurities where Ty was concerned.

  “Whatever.” I feigned nonchalance because I didn’t want Avery to read into it, but my attempt was an epic failure.

  “What is going on with you?”

  I was glad we were on the phone instead of face to face, because I sucked at keeping my thoughts out of my expression.

  “Reed’s just got my head all fucked up.”

  “Reed?”

  “Yeah. Mason’s friend.”

  “What happened?”

  “Nothing. That’s the weird thing. He came over with the understanding that it would happen. We had a nice dinner, drank some wine, made out a little, and it just didn’t happen.”

  “He couldn’t get it up?” Avery guessed.

  I giggled. “No, that was definitely not the issue.”

  “And you know this because…”

  “Because my hand brushed against it. It was definitely standing at attention.”

  “So why didn’t you fuck him?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “You like him,” she sang childishly.

  “Yeah,” I whispered. “I think I do.”

  “Quinners, when are you going to get the hell out of your own way?”

  “Good question. How’s this for a plan? Let’s get fucked up and forget it all tonight.”

  “I like it. Drink to numb the feelings.”

  “Something like that.”

  “Are you sure?”

  I thought for a moment. Getting drunk with one of my closest friends sounded like a blast. Forgetting about the strange buzz that zipped through my chest and the unfamiliar emotions that fluttered through my mind regarding Reed seemed like the right choice.

  Little did I know what a fucking stupid idea it would turn out to be.

  A few hours later, Avery and I perched on stools at a high top table in the center of the bar right next to the dance floor. I was on my second – or my third? – Long Island Iced Tea, the drink Strikers was best known for. The menu called it the “Light Me Up Long Island,” and usually one was enough to make me tipsy even with my fairly high tolerance level.

  And a few drinks in, I was beyond tipsy. I was straight-up drunk.

  The two of us could not stop giggling about the dumbest shit, but our plan was working. I was drinking to forget, and apart from catching Ty’s eye when we first walked in and thinking about Reed all through my first Long Island, I focused on my friend and her ridiculous antics with the sole goal of helping me forget.

  She was relating a story about a sexual experiment with candle wax gone wrong when Tyler appeared in my periphery. My vision started blurring from the amount of alcohol I’d consumed, but I saw him approaching, and then suddenly he leaned on the table in front of us, looking delicious as always in black jeans and a black shirt.

  “Hey, Quinn,” he said. He nodded at Avery and locked eyes with me.

  “’Scuse me,” Avery said, standing and walking in the direction of the restroom.

  “Hi, Talented Tyler,” I slurred. My “T” sound came out more like an “S.”

  He mouthed the word “talented,” as if trying it on for size. “Someone should really cut you off,” he said with a wicked grin.

  “Probably. Is there a hot bartender around anywhere who might do that?”

  “You’re looking at him.”

  “Yes I am,” I said. I may have also made some sort of noise that resembled a long, drawn-out moan.

  “And I’m looking at the sexiest lady in this bar.”

  “Oh stop it,” I giggled flirtatiously.

  “If I get you water, will you sober up so we can talk a little later?”

  His words caused alarm bells to sound in my brain, but I was beyond the point of caring when I was as drunk as I was.

  “Baby, water ain’t gonna sober me up. Sex, a shower, some coffee, and about ten hours of uninterrupted sleep might help, though.”

  “I can help with most of those,” he said, his voice dangerous and low and thrilling.

  I wanted him to help with the sex part. The rest would fall into place. I’d been drunk enough times to know my limits, and another two or three drinks and I’d become messy. But right now, I was in the perfect zone of banishing all thoughts from my mind except what was in front of me. Oh, and my lips were numb, and that reminded me that I had something to say to Tyler.

  I leaned in close to him. Even though I had to shout to be heard over the music, I still didn’t want anyone else to catch what I was about to say. “Remember that time I gave you head and I was drunk and I kept saying how my lips were numb?”

  His grin widened at the memory. “Best. Head. Ever.”

  “I remember you saying that. Well, I just wanted you to know that my lips are most definitely numb again.”

  He leaned in even closer so his lips were right against my ear. I felt a thrill chase up my spine at his proximity. “You’re a naughty girl.”

  “I can show you just how naughty I can be.”

  “Oh, I’ve seen it. A
nd I like it, Quinn. A lot.”

  I liked what he was saying to me. I liked how he made me feel like I was important to him. This was all I had ever wanted from Tyler: a little attention paid my way to show that he knew I existed as a person outside of the hot sex we shared.

  I felt something pulling at my conscience, but I couldn’t quite place it. The Long Islands had eliminated my ability to think clearly. Suddenly all I could do was focus on the sexy bartender in front of me who was finally paying attention to me.

  “What time do you get off?” I asked.

  “Depends what time you’re meeting me in the hallway.”

  I gasped loudly on purpose and pretended to be shocked. “I can’t believe you said that! I meant what time do you get off work!”

  “Oh, I knew what you meant, baby. But I want both of us to get off at least once before my shift ends.”

  “Sounds perf to me.”

  “Our hallway in ten?”

  “Our hallway in ten,” I confirmed, excited for what was about to come. Which was me.

  He kissed my cheek chastely, an unusually sweet display of affection from the tough guy I was used to dealing with, the guy who didn’t always care if I ended the night satisfied or not as long as he did.

  Avery met me back at the table when she saw Ty head back toward the bar. “What was that about?” she asked. She was slurring worse than I was.

  “I’m meeting him in a few minutes for some alone time.”

  “What about the other guy you like?”

  Those seven words sobered me almost immediately. That strange sensation pulling away at my conscience suddenly made itself known.

  Reed.

  Of course, Reed.

  Always there in my head, always fucking with my mind.

  But Reed wasn’t here.

  Tyler was.

  And it wasn’t like Reed and I had put an exclusive label on what we were starting, anyway. Sure, he’d made it well known that he wasn’t excited about my relationship with Tyler, but it was my life and it was my decision.

  I was drunk and horny, and Tyler was about to take care of those needs.

  The night before when I’d been sober and horny, Reed blew me off.

  Admittedly if I was sober, I wouldn’t have relied on that line of thinking. He was sweet and kind and perfect, and we had agreed to wait because neither of us wanted to fuck up what we were starting.

  But I wasn’t sober, and I had a hot bartender waiting in a hallway for me.

  “What about him, Avery?” I challenged. “He’s not here, but Ty is. And he’s waiting for me.”

  Avery sighed, and that one sound almost made me change my mind. Almost. I knew that she was disappointed in me and that she was judging me, but two (three?) Long Islands kind of made me just not give a fuck what she thought.

  I saw Ty leave the bar and head toward our hallway, so I excused myself and walked in that direction.

  And wouldn’t you know it? Fucking Reed was at Strikers after all. For the second time since I met him, I literally ran right into his very firm chest.

  “Where are you off to in such a hurry looking so fucking fine?” he asked.

  My breath caught in my throat as my eyes met those expressive blue ones of his. At the moment, they were full of lust and heat as they flicked down to my cleavage.

  “Restroom,” I lied, choking out my response as my eyes roved over his face, the same face that just a couple of weeks earlier I’d labeled “repulsive” but now found so fucking beautiful that I lost my train of thought.

  Fucking Long Islands.

  Ty was forgotten as he became the furthest thing from my mind in Reed’s presence.

  I thought about Reed’s lips trailing up my leg the night before. My eyes were dying to feast on what he had underneath his white polo shirt and those ridiculously preppy khaki cargo pants.

  I thought about his lips on mine, his hot mouth sucking my nipple, his strong hands all over my body. I wasn’t sure why I wanted to wait the night before, because suddenly all I could think about was how quickly I could get Reed inside of me.

  He dragged me from my thoughts when he leaned in close and kissed me just under my ear, his tongue darting out quickly to mimic the slow trail he’d left the night before in my kitchen. I shuddered beneath his touch, wanting more but still afraid to rush it with him.

  “Well don’t let me stop you,” he murmured, his voice breathy and soft but loud enough for me to hear over the loud, pumping music of the bar.

  I changed my route and headed toward the bathroom because getting off in the hallway with Tyler seemed like a bad idea when Reed was in the same space as me.

  I wasn’t exactly juggling two men because I wasn’t technically in a relationship with either of them.

  Reed had made it clear that he didn’t want to share me, but I still wasn’t in a place where I was ready to commit to just one man. Maybe a sampling of each would help me decide where I really wanted to ultimately end up. While the thought of having one person to rely on, one person to turn to with good news and bad, was comforting, I still loved living the life that I lived where I allowed myself the protective shield of avoidance.

  Damn Jared and Griffin for ruining me for relationships and fucking with my head.

  I stared in the mirror as I thought about the two men I was internally struggling over. Reed meant settling down. Tyler meant living freely. Tyler wouldn’t care if I was seeing someone else, but Reed would. It was coming upon the time to decide who I wanted more.

  Talented Tyler with all of those terrific talents? Or Remarkable Reed and his romantic repertoire?

  Until someone forced me to make a decision, I was just going to keep living my life and enjoying it.

  I exited the bathroom, and Reed stood in the hallway waiting for me. I thought back to our first kiss in this very hallway only two nights earlier, and the entire lower half of my body clenched tightly at the thought of it.

  “I just wanted to tell you one thing,” he said, clearly having waited for me to exit the restroom.

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  “This.”

  He pushed me up against the wall and held me there with his hips pinned against mine. I felt the breath leave my chest, but it wasn’t because of the crippling fear that came with being enclosed in a small space. It was because this sexy man, this man who was so different from anything I had ever desired, wanted me. And I knew just exactly how much he wanted me by the way his hard cock pressed into me.

  His mouth hurtled down to meet my lips, and I was reminded what it was about this guy that I liked so much. His tongue pushed between my closed lips and collided with mine. His was warm and soft and wet and tasted like whiskey and Reed.

  My hands curled into the hair at the nape of his neck, and he groaned into me.

  He pulled back to look at me, his eyes heavy with lust. “I missed you,” he murmured.

  “I missed you, too,” I admitted, realizing for perhaps the first time how true that statement was as our mouths slammed back together and tongues met in a hot dance of heat and lust.

  The fingers on one of his hands dug into my hip while the other rested on the wall above me. The whole scenario was hot, from a stolen secret kiss in a quiet hallway to the way his lips teased and tantalized my own.

  “Go to dinner with me tomorrow,” he said, his lips still attached to mine.

  “Okay.”

  He pulled back. “Okay?”

  I nodded, a small smile passing across my lips as I watched his face break into a grin.

  He leaned further into me, trailing kisses from the corner of my mouth down to my chin, down my throat, and to the top of my chest. The hand that had been balanced against the wall found my neck, and the warmth from his hand spread through my entire body.

  He kissed me softly once more. “Go get back to your friend.”

  “I don’t want to,” I said, pressing my lips to his again.

  “Fuck, I don’t want you to.”
He kissed me more insistently, opening his mouth once more to me.

  I’d had my share of kisses with men in my lifetime, but none compared to Reed’s. His kisses promised more, promised things that I wasn’t sure I was ready for. But I was quickly finding myself addicted to those kisses, wanting more and more and wishing I knew what came next for us.

  He pulled away suddenly. “If I don’t stop now, I’ll never stop,” he muttered, and then he turned and disappeared into the men’s room.

  So a bathroom hallway may not have been the sexiest place that a person could dream up, but being in it with Reed made it the hottest fucking place on the planet.

  I headed back to my friend.

  “How was Ty?” Avery asked with a yawn.

  Shit. Ty.

  I glanced over at the bar and saw him shaking a martini.

  He was shaking it awfully hard.

  He looked angry.

  I realized much too late that I had stood him up for our Employees Only Hallway Date.

  Fuck.

  I was already screwing up this whole juggling two guys thing that I wasn’t willing to admit to myself was an actual issue yet.

  Ty’s eyes met mine from across the bar, and he gave me some indecipherable look. I wasn’t exactly sure what that meant.

  “I didn’t meet Ty,” I finally answered Avery.

  “You didn’t?”

  I shook my head.

  “Then where did you go?”

  “Bathroom,” I said. It wasn’t a total lie. Just a little omission of truth.

  “Tell me the truth.”

  I hated how my friends always seemed to know.

  “Fine. I ran into Reed. We made out by the bathrooms for a few minutes.”

  “Romantic.”

  “Shut up. He asked me to dinner tomorrow.”

  “And?”

  “And I said yes.”

  “Obviously. What about Tyler?”

  “Why is it that you were asking me about Reed when I was about to go meet Tyler in the hallway, and now that I made a date with Reed, you’re asking me about Tyler?”