Side Effects

by Lisa Suzanne

  He leaned down to brush my lips with his, and then he settled back down onto his pillow, pressed his lips to mine once more, and threw his arm over my torso. I stroked his arm with my fingertips until we both fell asleep.

  CHAPTER 15

  It’s a damn good thing I kept an alarm set on my phone, because I was so engrossed in Reed the night before that I hadn’t set my normal alarm clock.

  My phone chimed loudly, waking me from a deep sleep. We were in the exact same position that we had fallen asleep in, neither of us moving through the night, perhaps even in our sleep afraid to break the connection and realize that the entire night had been a dream.

  So Reed and I were more than friends, now. We were actually, really going to give this a try.

  I smiled at the thought, loving the feeling of waking up next to him.

  My alarm hadn’t woken him. I had to get ready for work, and I assumed he did, too, so I gently extracted myself, sat up in bed, and shook him.

  He was one hell of a heavy sleeper.

  It took three tries before he moved, and then he sat up quickly with a gasp, looking around wildly before his eyes landed on me.

  A slow smile replaced the confusion in his eyes as he focused on me.

  “Good morning,” he said, his voice scratchy and sexy from sleep.

  “Morning,” I smiled.

  “So it wasn’t a dream?”

  I shook my head.

  “What time is it?”

  I glanced at the clock. “A little after six.”

  “Shit,” he muttered, leaping out of bed.

  “What?”

  “I have a meeting at seven, and I’ve got to stop home first.”

  I giggled as he stumbled around my bedroom, picking up his clothes and throwing them on haphazardly.

  He glared in my direction, but it didn’t stop me from laughing.

  “I want to talk about last night, but I have to go.”

  I sobered immediately, worried about what he wanted to discuss.

  “Hey,” he said softly, coming over to my side of the bed and sitting down. He brushed his knuckles down my cheek. “Don’t worry.”

  “I wasn’t,” I lied.

  “Your expression says otherwise.”

  “When a guy says he wants to talk, it usually doesn’t signify good things to me.”

  “This is good. I promise.”

  I loved that he took a moment to calm my fears even though he was running late. It was one of those little displays that showed me how much he cared about me already. “I trust you,” I said, knowing that those words would hit their mark and hoping that he knew that he could trust me, too.

  He grinned and leaned in to kiss me, a quick brush of his lips against mine. “I wish I could take you again right now, but I have to go.” His voice was husky.

  “Go. We’ll talk later.”

  “Are you free tonight?” he asked.

  “I’ll clear my very busy schedule for you.”

  “Damn right you will.”

  I grinned and leaned forward and pressed one more kiss to his lips, and then he left.

  I took a quick shower, glad it was Friday and that I had my entire weekend ahead of me. Work passed slowly because I couldn’t stop focusing on Reed and what he wanted to talk about. During my class after lunch, another bouquet of roses arrived. This time they were yellow.

  I waited until my students had left to read the card.

  Quinn,

  Last time it was to Cornhole, tequila shots, running into each other, and salad. This time, it’s to owls, yellow heels, “Who Let the Dogs Out,” and cab rides. Thank you for mending what you broke. You are the antiseptic to the injury. See you tonight.

  -Reed

  I couldn’t help the permanent smile on my face for the rest of the afternoon. Despite my best efforts to avoid a relationship, I suddenly found myself in one.

  And I discovered that I actually really liked it.

  Our first night together had been magical. It had been sweet. It was a night that we had both needed to express the deep emotions that had built between us. But I was itching to know how reckless and raunchy Reed could get.

  He didn’t arrive until a little after seven. The bouquet he had sent sat as a centerpiece on my kitchen table. I fidgeted as I invited him into my apartment, wondering when he was going to bring up whatever he had wanted to talk about. I opted for water, wanting to maintain my sobriety for whatever was coming, and he opened one of the bottles from the case of beer he’d brought over.

  He joined me on the couch, where I sat with my legs curled under me. His hand found my thigh, and he settled in comfortably beside me as he drained half of the bottle in a few swigs.

  “So, Quinn,” he started.

  “So, Reed.”

  He grinned, but he didn’t continue.

  “You’re killing me here.”

  He looked mildly surprised. “Why?”

  “You said you wanted to talk. I’ve been obsessing over what it could possibly be all damn day. So get to it, Porter.”

  He set his bottle down on the side table and took a deep breath. “So last night, when we first started fighting outside of Strikers, you said something that resonated with me.”

  “I did?” I had been so angry that I was just yelling. I had no clue what I said that might have resonated.

  He nodded. “You said that you want us to make this work.”

  He was quiet, and I was, too. I remembered saying it.

  “Did you mean it, Quinn?”

  “Yes,” I whispered. I don’t know if I had ever said truer words in my life.

  “I want to make it work, too. I want to make it work more than I’ve ever wanted to make anything work in my life.”

  “Thank God. I thought you were going to tell me that I’m not worth the trouble.”

  “Why do you think so low of yourself?”

  “Because you told me that you didn’t want to give us a try. Reed, I’m terrified that you’re going to decide that I’m not worth it.”

  “You’re worth more to me than you realize.” His eyes burned into mine. “You’re worth every little piece of trouble, because what we have? What we started last night? The good outweighs the bad. By a landslide.”

  “You know, Preppy Porter, I can’t really think of anybody else who I’d rather yell at on the sidewalk and then take home for make-up sex.”

  He chuckled. “Can I ask you a question?”

  “If you must.”

  “Why did you cry last night?”

  I sighed, knowing that this question would eventually come up. I had hoped that it hadn’t hit on his insecurities, but clearly it had.

  This conversation was harder than I thought it would be. I liked our banter, but if we were truly going to give this a real chance, we had to have the hard discussions, too. And I felt so grown up and mature as that realization made its way into my consciousness.

  My voice dropped to a whisper. “Because I don’t think I’ve ever met someone as perfect as you.”

  He looked taken aback by my quiet confession. “I’m not perfect, Quinn.”

  “Be that as it may, you’re perfect for me.”

  “But I’m not your type,” he teased.

  “Far from it. But I came to the realization that my type was no longer working for me.”

  “And you think that this could work for you?”

  “It’s already doing wonders for me.”

  “For me, too,” he said, his voice soft.

  “How?” I knew I was fishing, but I wanted his reassurance.

  “What Izzy did hurt like hell. But the moment I saw you at Strikers, Izzy somehow became the furthest thing from my mind. You’re my antiseptic in more than one way, Quinn.”

  I didn’t even know what to say to that. Sometimes this guy just said things that were so out of left field but hit me on every emotional level.

  “Reed, I cried last night because no one has ever made love to me. I’ve been screw
ed, fucked, and banged six ways from Saturday, but I’ve never made love.”

  “Ever?”

  “Ever,” I confirmed.

  “So I was your first?”

  I nodded.

  “I like that.”

  “So do I. But you need to answer a question for me, too.”

  “What’s that?”

  “What were you thinking last night?”

  “I can’t lie. Seeing you cry after we had sex scared me. I was worried you’d bolt. I was worried you hated it or that I hurt you. But I knew how it felt for me, so I knew deep down that you were dealing with something of your own and that you would tell me when the time was right.”

  I snuggled into him and pressed my lips against the warm skin of his neck. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

  “I’m sorry for our fight last night. I’m sorry I kissed that other girl.”

  I giggled.

  “I’m not sorry about what that led to, though,” he said, his eyes darkening.

  “I’m not, either.”

  “I have another question. What, exactly, is ‘six ways from Saturday’?”

  I giggled. “It’s like all the ways you can think of rolled up in one big bang session.”

  “I have one more question.”

  I looked at him with curiosity.

  “Want to bang six ways from Saturday?”

  I laughed, and he shifted so that I was beneath him and my laughter ceased as raw lust took over.

  If this was what a real relationship was like, I was all in.

  I liked spending time with Reed. He was funny, he was demanding, he was sweet, and he was the perfect blend of everything that was good for me. He was ridiculously hot and fantastically good in bed.

  And I was finally pushing past the boundaries that I’d set for myself. I found myself wanting to see how great things could be with Reed and me.

  I found myself falling for him.

  CHAPTER 16

  I was lying on top of him on my couch, both of us satisfied and sleepy, when Reed whispered, “We never ate dinner.”

  “Are you hungry?”

  He nodded.

  “So am I.”

  “Pizza?”

  “Sure,” I mumbled into his chest, not wanting to get up from my comfortable spot on his chest.

  He reached over and felt around on the end table, and then he produced my phone.

  “May I?” he asked, and I grunted in approval.

  “How’s the place just around the corner?” he asked.

  “Brick City? Delicious.” It was literally walking distance and the best pizza in a ten mile radius.

  “Sausage?”

  “I just had a whole lot of sausage.”

  “Yeah, you did,” he said, raising his hand in the air for a high-five. I giggled and slapped his hand while he placed the call.

  “Thirty minutes,” he said, and we snuggled until it was time to go get our food.

  “You stay right here,” he said twenty minutes later. “I’ll be back in five minutes.”

  “Deal,” I said, lazy and sleepy and still naked.

  He shifted and stood, and he gazed down at me for a moment. “You’re… God, Quinn. You’re perfect.” He leaned down and kissed my cheek, and then he stood and disappeared out my front door.

  I sighed, wondering how I had gotten so lucky as I closed my eyes in complete and utter contentment while I waited for Reed to return with our dinner.

  I jolted awake, confusion wreaking havoc on my senses through the grogginess of having fallen asleep. My stomach growled as I realized I still hadn’t eaten dinner.

  My cell phone buzzed on the table next to me. I scrambled to grab it and realized I was still naked after my lust-fueled encounter with Reed.

  Reed.

  My phone continued its buzzing, and when I glanced at the screen to see who was calling, the display read “Grumpy Grant.” Why would Grant be calling me?

  Something wasn’t right.

  “Hello?” I answered, my voice sounding sleepy.

  “Is Reed with you?” he demanded.

  “What?”

  “Where is Reed?” His voice was more insistent the second time.

  “He went to get a pizza.”

  “When?”

  I glanced at the clock. It was almost 9:30. He’d left a little after eight.

  Where the hell was Reed?

  “About an hour ago.”

  “I’m coming over.”

  “What? Why?”

  “I just got a weird call. Something is wrong.”

  I felt an icy panic hit my veins. It was my brother’s tone that scared me.

  This was different from the anxiety that overtook my senses in confined spaces. That panic made me feel hot, like a fire was licking its way up my body.

  This panic felt like icy fingertips clutching my heart and spreading through my veins.

  I shivered.

  “No,” I whispered.

  “Quinn?”

  My brother’s voice was loud in my ear, but somehow I couldn’t respond to it.

  “Quinn, listen to me. Stay on the phone with me, okay?”

  I nodded, not realizing that he couldn’t see me, as my shiver turned into a tremor that wouldn’t stop.

  “I’m going to come over there and we are going to find him. Okay?”

  His voice was soft and soothing, and that’s what scared me the most. Grant was never soft and soothing. Not with me. The panic that gripped me unleashed in chaotic fear.

  “Where is he?” I yelled. I headed to my front door and opened it, the cool breeze from the hallway hitting my naked flesh.

  “Fuck!” I whaled.

  “What?”

  “I’m fucking naked!” I screeched into the phone, slamming my door.

  “Calm down, Quinn.”

  “Where is he?” I screamed at Grant.

  “I don’t know. We’ll find him. Put some clothes on and don’t move. I’m on my way.”

  “Don’t hang up,” I cried, tears suddenly streaming down my face as every possible worst case scenario made its way into my consciousness.

  “I won’t, Quinn. I’m here.”

  I ran to my bedroom to find clothes. I grabbed a t-shirt and sweatpants and threw flip flops on my feet.

  Grant spoke peaceful little mantras to me the entire time, somehow making me feel like a child as I found myself needing his soothing voice. The random thought entered my brain that someday my big brother would make a great father.

  I sat on my couch, rocking back and forth as I willed him to drive faster.

  “Why did you call me to find Reed?” I asked in a random moment of lucidity.

  “I’ll explain it all when I get there. I’m pulling onto your street, Quinn. You doing okay?”

  “Yeah,” I squeaked through my tears.

  “Fuck!” he cursed, and then I heard screeching tires and nothing else.

  “Grant?”

  Nothing.

  “Grant!”

  I ran to the hallway and took the stairs two at a time.

  Once I opened the front door to my building, I looked right first, and then left. Left was the source of the flashing lights, but they were down the alley beside my building. My brother’s car was parked haphazardly out in front of my building. As I turned toward the flashing lights, I saw my brother talking to a police officer. I heard sirens in the distance.

  I stopped breathing for a moment.

  I made my way toward the scene slowly. It wasn’t real until I saw it with my own eyes, so the slower I moved, the less real it was to me. But then I was upon them, and tears leaked involuntarily from my eyes as I looked at Reed on the ground, unconscious and covered in blood, while the police officer spoke to someone on the phone and Grant stared at his friend.

  The ice turned to heat as the fire licked up my skin until I felt like flames were coming out of my collar. My face was hot. I felt the beads of sweat forming on my lip, my forehead.

  Grant g
lanced over at me. I let out a sob as nausea wrenched my stomach. My brother walked over to me.

  “He’s breathing,” Grant whispered, pulling me into a hug that I was too scared to return.

  I pulled away from my brother and walked closer to Reed. I heard the police officer warding me away from the scene, but it was all a distant blur of noise as I fell to the ground next to Reed’s lifeless body and took his hand in mine, expecting the warmth that I always found there. His fingers were cold against my hot skin.

  I stared at his beautiful face, marred now by blood and bruises and brokenness. His nose looked broken. Blood oozed from a gash above his left eye, and his fat lip bled down the side of his cheek and dripped on the ground beneath him.

  So much blood. Everywhere.

  I felt faint as I stared at him.

  I couldn’t help the dreadful thought that entered my mind. The last time I had seen someone I loved covered in blood and lying unconscious beside me was the night Griffin had died.

  My subconscious assaulted me with questions.

  What the hell happened?

  Where had he gone?

  Why had this happened?

  What if Reed died?

  Wait a minute… did I just say that the last time I had seen someone I loved covered in blood?

  Loved?

  Was I in love with Reed?

  And was I going to lose him?

  CHAPTER 17

  I paced across the waiting room.

  Back and forth.

  Back and forth.

  Grant just watched me, his crazy little sister having the longest panic attack in history.

  I couldn’t stop picturing him lying there on the ground, completely lifeless. I couldn’t stop the comparisons to the night Griffin died.

  Blood everywhere. I couldn’t stop seeing the blood.

  My parents rushed into the waiting room, and I burst into tears when I saw my mom.

  She looked confused, but she pulled me in close for a hug.

  “How’s he doing?” I heard my dad ask Grant.

  “We don’t know. The doctors haven’t been out yet.”

  My mom held me, and I realized that she didn’t know that Reed and I had a thing going on, unless Grant had told her.

  I couldn’t stop crying. I was just so damn scared, and no one was coming to let us know anything.