All Through the Night

by Tara Johnson

  He sat up. “What?”

  She bit her lip. “I suppose I wonder if perhaps I was too forward, coming to you like I did. If you really don’t want a marriage in that way, I—”

  His arms circled her as a chuckle burst low in his throat. “I thought I made my feelings on the matter perfectly clear.”

  Heat crept into her cheeks.

  “Do you know why Captain Archer insisted upon our marriage?”

  She frowned. “Because of how it looked, with me caring for your children, my unwed status as well as yours.”

  “Partially, yes.” His lips brushed a kiss across her forehead. “But what convinced him that something must be done immediately was the way I looked at you.”

  Her heart skipped. “He told you that?”

  “Yes. He watched me whenever you were near and knew I was besotted.” His fingers grazed her face. “Do you yet need convincing, Mrs. Ivy?”

  She whispered, “I think I might.”

  She heard rather than saw his smile.

  “Then I’m happy to oblige.”

  Cadence carried the bulging basket of clean linens toward the surgical tent. It had been four days since she and Joshua had wed and they had barely seen each other. He rarely left the surgical tent, performing operations continually, and had only come to see the children once, whereupon he’d fallen into an exhausted slumber. The children missed him, but she felt she was going mad with the need to talk to him, be with him, kiss his lips.

  Love was a strange malady.

  At least here, tucked within the seclusion of Moxley and Maisey’s home, the children were safe from whatever danger lurked in Washington. How odd to find safety in the middle of war.

  She climbed up the hill and paused at the flap of the surgical tent. She hesitated, smoothing the wayward tendrils of hair away from her face. She must look a disheveled mess.

  She slipped inside and wrinkled her nose. The air was filled with the putrid stench of disease, mingled with the sour odor of whiskey and the sharp sting of lye. Runners were carrying away an unconscious man with his left leg reduced to a bandage-wrapped stump. She glanced to the corner where a large tub sat, filled with dismembered limbs. She turned away, sick at heart.

  Another surgery was going on in the far side of the tent, but a quick scan revealed Joshua washing his hands and arms in a bowl of soapy water. His back was to her and his shoulders were slumped. Poor man.

  She clutched the basket of linens and smiled when he turned and saw her. His face lit up and the shadows of fatigue disappeared. Walking swiftly toward her, he took the basket from her and set it on a nearby table. “You look more beautiful than ever, Mrs. Ivy.”

  “I confess I could have sent someone else up here with the clean linen, but I was missing my husband.”

  Private Wilson walked by and shook his head. “You two are pitiful.” He winked to soften his words.

  With a chuckle, Joshua splayed his hand across the small of her back and led her to a quiet corner. “How are the children?”

  “Enjoying the farm. Moxley has them feeding the hogs, milking the cow. Told Etta and Penelope they can bring home a kitten if you agree. James is more partial to the dog.” She smiled to soften her words. “They miss you terribly, though.”

  He rubbed his eyes. “Just as I miss them. And you most of all.” His expression turned grave. “There’s news. We are to return to Washington to assist the wounded being sent to Judiciary Square.”

  “How soon?”

  He shrugged. “It might be days, but it could take longer. Perhaps even weeks.”

  She brightened. “That’s good, isn’t it? You’ll get much more rest. We’ll have plenty of able-bodied men and women to treat the soldiers.” At his somber glance, she realized what troubled him. “The children.”

  “Yes. When we return, I’ll be spending my days at the hospital. How can I keep you all safe if I’m not with you? I’ll hire Zeke again, but—”

  She stopped him, placing her hand against his chest. “I know! I can take the children to my father’s house if need be.”

  Joshua blinked. “Your father.” A muscle ticked in his jaw. “How do you think he will respond when he discovers I whisked his daughter away as laundress for the Union only to bring her back as my wife?”

  Cadence’s heart dropped. Everything had been so sudden, she’d not given a moment’s thought to what this would mean to Father. “Once he recovers from his initial shock, he’ll be welcoming. I think.”

  “Even at that, my enemies will be watching you, whether at our home or your father’s.”

  She grasped his hands. “You can’t control everything, Joshua. At some point, you’ll have to trust God and leave the children in his hands.”

  He brooded. “I don’t even know who I’m fighting.”

  “But God does. All the more reason to trust him. Besides, we’ve been gone so long, perhaps the snooping man has given up.”

  “Perhaps.” But he didn’t look convinced.

  “There is nothing you can do about it today.” She wove her fingers between his.

  He readily acquiesced, but Cadence noticed the troubled light never left his eyes.

  With the staggering number of casualties, it was weeks before Joshua’s work slowed enough to enable them to pack up their meager belongings and locate a wagon and team that could carry them all back to Washington. Theirs joined dozens of others snaking their way toward the capital, carrying the wounded to the hospital.

  They said good-bye to Maisey and Moxley with tears and an abundance of thanks.

  Maisey pressed a small tin of tea leaves into Cadence’s hands as they hugged farewell. “Don’t forget our chat now. You hear?”

  “I won’t. I promise.”

  Moxley stepped forward and rested his weathered hands on the children’s heads. “The Lord go before you and behind you. The Lord keep you. May his face shine upon you and give you peace.”

  Joshua grinned. “Why, I think you may have a soft spot for them, my friend.”

  Moxley swiped under his nose. “Ha! Near destroyed my barn.”

  Etta lurched forward, hugging him around the knees. “I wuv Mith-tuh Mock-wee.”

  A big tear rolled down the man’s cheek. “Blamed hay fever. Always making me sick.”

  The journey to Washington did nothing to cheer their spirits.

  Carnage colored the roadway, turning the journey into a nightmarish spectacle. Dead horses, bloated corpses, and splintered wagons choked the route, forcing the line of travelers to slow and ease around the scattered wood. Empty artillery and abandoned knapsacks littered the ground. Flies buzzed around the slack, open jaws of both dead beasts and men.

  As they passed one particularly gnarled form, Cadence heard Penelope’s gasp in the back of the wagon. She turned in her seat next to Joshua on the driver’s bench and captured her daughter’s horrified gaze. “Don’t look, sweetheart.”

  Penelope nodded, and Cadence offered a thankful nod to James when he slipped his arm around his sister, tugged her down in the wagon bed, and pulled out a picture book.

  Cadence turned and let her own eyelids slide closed. Though she was loath to confess it, the ghastly slaughter around them, combined with the lurching of the wagon, had unsettled her own stomach. Nausea crept up her throat and refused to leave.

  Joshua glanced her way. “Holding up?”

  “Yes, but it’s far worse than I imagined.”

  His face was grim. “I was thinking the same thing. If I’d known, I would have requested we return some other way and spared the children these images.”

  “The Union would have denied you. The wounded soldiers on the wagons need you nearby. Their suffering must be intense.” Her stomach twisted.

  He eyed her. “Are you feeling well? Your complexion is ashen.”

  Bile rose swiftly. “I—forgive me. You must stop the wagon.”

  He halted the team and pulled the brake as she stumbled from the bench, not waiting for his help to cli
mb down. She ran to the side of the road and retched. Strong hands slid across her back and held her as she finished. She wiped her mouth with her sleeve.

  “How long have you been feeling poorly?” Joshua’s concerned face swam before her.

  “In truth? Since yesterday. It will pass.” She forced a brittle laugh. “Perhaps your tough nurse has grown soft.”

  He offered a lopsided smile. “I don’t think that’s it. Do you feel like getting back in the wagon, or do you need more time?”

  She inhaled a breath but nearly choked on the putrid air thickening the valley. “I’m fine.”

  He gently lifted her to her feet. The children stared from over the edge of the wagon, and she offered a smile. Penelope worried her lip, her fist clutched around the secret object she refused to relinquish. Etta popped her thumb in her mouth and watched Cadence climb atop the driver’s bench.

  Joshua gave her a sideways glance but didn’t say anything.

  “What is it?”

  He frowned. “This. All of this. It’s been too much for you. If you’ve contracted an illness in camp . . .”

  “You’re being too protective. I could catch such an illness anywhere.”

  “But all you’ve been forced to endure. The changes—”

  “One change was particularly delightful.”

  He turned to her, his mouth quirking into a full smile that stole her breath and warmed her completely. “I agree.”

  He reached for her hand and tugged her close before urging the team back into motion.

  She let her head fall against his shoulder as the wagon bounced over the rutted road. Soon they would be home and all would be well.

  Joshua stood before Albert Piper’s front door and pulled at his too-tight collar. They’d been back in Washington for three days, but still he felt unprepared for this meeting.

  Cadence looked up at him with sympathy. “He will adore you. Stop fretting.”

  “Will he?”

  “How could he not?” She tossed him a teasing smile. “You won me over, after all. And I was not easily captured, if you remember.” Her grin dimmed. “I’m the one he’ll be disappointed in. Not you.” She twisted her fingers together. “I only pray he hears me out.”

  Joshua frowned. “Speaking of that, you didn’t tell your father of my boorish behavior upon our first meeting, did you?”

  “I may have mentioned your occasional propensity to be . . . unpleasant.”

  He cringed. “This visit should be delightful.”

  She patted his arm and whispered with a devilish gleam in her eye, “Perhaps you should have been nicer to me upon our first encounter, Dr. Ivy.”

  How he wanted to flee this moment, whisk her away, and kiss her breathless. He winked. “How else was I to guard my heart from the most mesmerizing woman I’d ever seen?”

  Cadence’s cheeks pinked, and he raised his hand to knock. Lord, grant me mercy in the eyes of her father.

  Footfalls sounded just before the door swung wide. Mr. Piper’s blue eyes, so like Cadence’s, rounded before his mouth tipped into a wide smile.

  “Cadence!” He leaned in, kissing her cheek, and eased back, his hands on her shoulders as he took her measure. “When the papers brought word of the horrors of Second Manassas, I confess I regretted ever giving you permission to go. I know you had far too little time to write, but I worried.”

  “I know, Father. It was difficult, but for none more so than our wounded. They need much prayer.”

  “Of course, of course.” His eyes narrowed. “You’ve lost weight.”

  She smiled weakly. “There was so little time to eat. We worked ourselves hard. The last counts we heard were twenty thousand dead with thousands more wounded.”

  “Terrible. At any rate, I’m glad you’re home now.” Mr. Piper’s shrewd gaze flickered to Joshua. “I thank you for escorting my daughter home . . . Dr. Ivy, wasn’t it?”

  “It was my pleasure, sir. Actually, I’d like to visit with you for a while, if you have the time.”

  His silver brows rose. “I see. Please, come in.”

  Joshua made no protest when Mr. Piper led Cadence inside, though surely he must have noticed she brought no bags with her. Or perhaps he thought Joshua would bring them in after their conversation was finished. He led them to the parlor, where a young man with dark hair sat reading a newspaper. Upon seeing them enter, he folded it in half, cast it on the table, and stood.

  “Cadence. It’s good to have you home.”

  She embraced the man and patted his cheek with affection. “You grow more handsome every day. How are you feeling?”

  “Better. Some days I don’t even need my cane, though I’m not sure I’ll ever totally lose the limp.”

  Mr. Piper gestured to Joshua. “Tate, I’d like to introduce you to Dr. Ivy. He works at Judiciary Square Hospital. He escorted Cadence home. Dr. Ivy, my son, Tate Piper.”

  Joshua studied the man he’d heard so much about. Slave trader. Scourge of abolitionists. Cadence had spoken little of him, but then again, thus far they’d had so little time together. The gentle, easygoing fellow before him didn’t seem like the impassioned trader he’d heard reports of.

  Fixing a smile in place, Joshua clasped Tate’s hand and offered a hearty shake. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.”

  “Likewise.”

  Mr. Piper cleared his throat. “Please, take a seat. You said you had something to discuss with me.”

  Cadence discreetly moved to sit next to Joshua on the sofa, an action that did not go unnoticed by her father. His gaze flickered to Tate’s. A bead of sweat formed at Joshua’s temple.

  “Yes, sir, I do.” He hesitated, searching for the best way to broach the topic. “I don’t know how to say this.”

  “Go ahead, son. It’s plain to see.”

  Joshua startled. “Sir?”

  “You have feelings for my daughter, don’t you?”

  “Yes, but—”

  Mr. Piper chuckled. “A blind man could see that, though I admit my surprise. Months ago, it appeared you two were more likely to take to boxing than anything else.”

  Cadence whispered, “Father . . .”

  He ignored her plea. “So you came here to ask if you could call on her? Visit her from time to time, is that it? I suppose, depending on what opportunity allows and—”

  “We were wed in Manassas.” Joshua blurted the truth, and a heavy silence descended.

  Mr. Piper stood slowly. “You took my daughter into a battlefield under the guise of patriotic duty, then had the audacity to take her as your wife? And did so without my permission?”

  Cadence stood. “It wasn’t like that! Captain Archer insisted we wed.”

  “What?”

  Joshua nearly groaned and placed himself between Cadence and her irate father. “It’s not what you’re thinking, sir. I had to bring my three adopted children with me. Cadence has a heart of gold and offered to watch over them while I performed surgery. She stayed with the children in a home away from camp in a small town called Bristoe Station. I slept in a tent next to the surgical tent. Nothing happened, I assure you. Yet Captain Archer thought it did not look well for an unmarried woman to care for the children of an unmarried man.” He straightened and lifted his chin. “Nor could I deny my growing affection for your daughter. He insisted upon our immediate marriage.”

  “I see.” Mr. Piper’s eyes narrowed. “Since you are so honorable and want to receive my blessing in this, I assume it’s safe to believe you have not touched her since the wedding?”

  Cadence gasped but Joshua tucked her behind him. “The only gentlemanly response would be to say I love my wife deeply, and we have been living as husband and wife as God ordained.”

  Mr. Piper’s neck mottled red. “Do you not understand? Cadence is not like everyone else. She needs special care. She has a condition. The phrenologist said so.”

  Fury mounted. “He was wrong. Cadence is the brightest, most phenomenal woman I have ever known. There
is nothing amiss with her.”

  “Then why could she never speak properly?”

  “Stop!”

  Joshua whirled to see tears streaming down Cadence’s face, her lips trembling and chest heaving.

  Mr. Piper swallowed. “Cadence, I—”

  She held up her hand. “Please, no more.” With a sob, she spun and fled.

  Joshua looked at her father with a hard stare. “You need to make this right, sir. Your daughter adores you, but treating her like less than she is because of one man’s opinion?” He shook his head. “That phrenologist was a charlatan. Perhaps sincere, but in error all the same. There is no link between stammering and mental capacity. And believing that so-called physician has caused wounds far more deadly than his words ever could.”

  He turned on his heel and went to search for his heartbroken wife.

  From within the confines of her old room, Cadence wiped the vomit from her mouth and moved away from the basin on the washstand. She’d not been well since returning from the battlefield, but she’d done all she could to hide it from Joshua. They had been far too busy to rest since returning to Washington. That was what she needed. Rest.

  Curling on the comfort of her bed, she tucked her legs into her middle and let the tears fall. Father’s words had only confirmed her suspicions of what he thought of her, but to hear them flung from his lips stung more than she’d dreamed possible. Did he really think her simple? In need of someone smarter to guide her every decision . . . like a child?

  Her throat swelled, and another sob scraped. Perhaps he was right. Her only true gift had ever really been her voice, and even that last attempt had ended in failure. What good was she? She pinched her eyes closed, letting the darkness wash over her. Poor Joshua. Saddled with a simpleton.

  “A lie is only harmful if you believe it.”

  Dear Maisey. If only she were here now. Perhaps she would know what to do, what to say to take this ache away.

  The verse Joshua had penned on the card after her last singing performance rose in her mind once again.