by Tara Johnson
“Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God.”
Sons of God. Daughter. She inhaled a cleansing breath. Hadn’t God already taught her much about her worth in him? And yet here she was . . . wallowing because she hadn’t received her earthly father’s approval.
Forgive me, Lord.
The door creaked open, and she tried to wipe away the moisture staining her cheeks. The bed dipped beneath her as warm hands stroked her back and toyed with the hair at the nape of her neck.
“He’s not right, you know.”
She tried to squelch a sniffle but failed. “How can you be certain?”
She heard the affection coloring Joshua’s low voice. “Do you know how many nurses and stewards I sent away because they didn’t have the capacity or intelligence to do what I required of them? You did, sweetheart. Do you think I would entrust my patients or, even more so, my children to someone I didn’t trust with every fiber of my being?”
She sat up and swiped at her eyes. “Do you mean it? You’re not just telling me what I want to hear?”
His handsome face creased into a gentle smile. “No, my love. The truth is, I trust you with the children more than I trust myself. You are God’s gift to me.” A muscle worked in his throat as he reached up to stroke her jaw. “And I will never stop thanking him.”
He captured her lips, and her scraped heart throbbed a little less as she warmed to his touch. Bringing her close, he caressed her lips and groaned. “How you undo me, Mrs. Ivy.”
She nuzzled his jaw. “Can we just stay here and ignore the rest of the world?”
His soft chuckle caused her skin to tingle. “Somehow I think your father will protest.”
A soft knock sounded. “Cadence?”
They eased apart as he pushed off the bed. She smoothed her skirt and attempted to school the remainder of the wayward emotions fighting to swim to the surface. Joshua moved to stand behind her and cupped his hands around her shoulders.
She cleared her throat. “Come in.”
Father’s face peeped around the door. Deep lines framed his mouth. “Darling, I’ve been talking with your husband. Or rather, he’s been talking to me.” He swallowed hard. “I’m so sorry.”
She dropped her gaze to the floor. “It’s all right.”
“No, it’s not.” He moved to stand in front of her, and when she heard his harsh sob, she lifted her head.
His eyes were glassy. “Your mother, God rest her, fought against what Dr. Philbright said, but I—” he shook his head—“I was so heartbroken, I let his diagnosis dictate my behavior toward you.” He fisted the moisture away from his nose. “Please know I only wanted to protect you. You’re my little girl.” A wobbly smile broke through. “In some ways, that will never change.”
She lunged toward him, wrapping her arms around his middle and burying her head in his chest. She soaked in his scent of tobacco and relished the feel of his arms surrounding her.
“Forgive me.”
“I forgive you.” Cadence eased back and looked up. “That is, if you can forgive me for marrying without your consent.”
His mouth twitched. “I think that can be done. Your new husband seems like a good sort.” He winked and tossed Joshua a look of respect. “Anyone who has the stamina to keep up with this headstrong daughter of mine deserves my utmost admiration.”
“Father!”
Joshua chuckled. “I’m up for the challenge, sir.”
“Good to hear it.” His eyes twinkled. “And I understand I have grandchildren I’ve yet to meet. Why don’t you all come for dinner tomorrow night? We can get acquainted then.” He softly patted Cadence’s hair. “I especially need to get to know my daughter.”
She bit her lip. “I’d like that.”
Joshua tugged on his collar again. “About my children, sir. There is something you need to know. Are you, by any chance, an abolitionist?”
Chapter 27
JOSHUA WATCHED ALBERT PIPER entertain the children, holding them spellbound with silly stories. Dinner had gone remarkably well and everyone was in high spirits. Whether it was because his new father-in-law was coming around to the idea of their marriage or merely for the children’s sake, he didn’t know, but he was thankful.
Penelope had already claimed the lap of Papa Piper, as she called him, and James stood at his side, smiling as Albert showed them a kaleidoscope. Etta toddled around the room, content to peek at various knickknacks. The only one who seemed ill at ease was Tate, who stood in the corner of the parlor, looking solemnly out the window.
Penelope gasped in delight as she held the cylinder up to her eye and spun the end. “It’s so pretty! Did you notice all the colors, James?”
“Sure did. I think it’d be neat to take it outside on a sunny day. Bet it would really light up then.”
“You’re right, son,” Albert said. “The brighter the light, the more intriguing the kaleidoscope. My toy shop is full of things like this. Say—” he reached behind the chair and pulled out a small box, his eyes twinkling—“I just happen to have a few things with me now.”
The children squealed their delight as they sorted through the treasures. Albert chuckled, clearly in his element. Joshua glanced to Cadence at his side, her bright countenance communicating a hundred things. Tate, however, never moved from the window.
“You all must come visit my toy shop.”
Penelope turned to Cadence, her eyes bright. “Oh, Mother, could we?”
Cadence’s dimples deepened. “Of course. Perhaps this week, if all goes well.”
Amid their happy chatter, Etta suddenly dropped the ball and cup she was clutching and toddled over to Tate, her gaze curious. Joshua held his breath. Etta tugged Tate’s trouser leg. He startled and looked down.
She looked solemnly up into his face. “Pay?”
Tate stared for a long moment. Joshua held his breath as Etta reached her fingers out and curled them around Tate’s pale hand.
“Pay wif me?”
Tate’s face crumpled, his eyes batting quickly. “I’m sorry. I can’t today.” He extracted his fingers from her grip and fled the room. Etta stared after him, her brow pinched.
Cadence hurried to kneel before her. “It’s all right, darling. Uncle Tate likely isn’t feeling well. I’ll play with you.”
“Mama pay.”
“Yes. Mama will play.”
Joshua bowed his head, listening to the happy chatter of his family but lifting a prayer for the battered soul of his brother-in-law just beyond the walls of the room.
Cadence wiped the bile from her mouth with shaking fingers. It seemed all she did the past weeks was cast her up accounts and nibble on soda crackers. The poor children. She did her best to hide it from them, but surely they had noticed her fatigue. She was prone to falling asleep in her chair. And it didn’t help that Joshua had been working long hours at the hospital, caring for the overflow of wounded. He returned home every night exhausted. If it weren’t for Miriam’s daily help preparing food and cleaning, she would be in pitiful shape.
Even now, Miriam had the children out back tending what remained of the summer garden. Autumn would be upon them soon.
Cadence’s stomach twisted and she groaned, stretching herself upon the bed. Why couldn’t she shake this malady? How long had it been now?
She gasped and sat up, mentally calculating the days in her head. When had she last had her monthly? With the chaos of the battlefield, returning home and all that entailed, she had failed to notice. Suddenly everything made sense.
Cupping her hand over her mouth, she felt something warm burst in her chest. She slid her hand over her stomach with sweet reverence.
Could it be?
A rap sounded on the front door. She forced her wayward thoughts into order, pushed off the bed, and smoothed her hair. Walking down the hallway, she eased the door open. Her heart lurched.
Stephen Dodd stood before her, a crutch under one
arm. His empty trouser leg was pinned up, but it was not his recent amputation that sent a ribbon of dread spiraling through her middle. It was the dark look shadowing his face.
“M-M-Mr. Dodd! It’s lovely to see you again. Please come in.”
He nodded curtly and entered, his crutch lending an awkward thumping sound that echoed through the room.
“Won’t you sit down?”
“That won’t be necessary.” His nostrils flared. “I came here to see if the rumors were true.”
“What rumors?”
“The horrid rumor that you and Dr. Ivy are married.”
She lifted her chin. “It’s true. We married at Manassas. And I would protest the use of the word horrid. We are quite delighted.”
“I see. And what kind of indiscretion happened in Manassas that would necessitate such a hasty wedding?”
Fury lashed. Before she realized what had happened, she heard the crack of her hand slapping his face. He flinched but did not turn away.
“How dare you accuse my husband of something so vile! Nothing of ill repute happened between us, and I would advise you not to bear false witness against him again.”
“You were supposed to be mine, Cadence. Mine. I wrote you. You said I could.”
She fought to calm her anger. “Mr. Dodd, allowing one to write is not the same as accepting a proposal of marriage.”
Stephen breathed hard. “You knew how much I cared for you. How thoughts of you kept me going during the darkest days.” He laughed bitterly. “I wasn’t fool enough to think you returned my sentiments, but I believed, since you didn’t say otherwise, that you would at least give me a chance to win your heart when I returned. Instead I find you married to another. The very man who took my leg.”
Her lips trembled. “I never intended for any of this to happen.”
His voice grew hoarse. “Did you ever intend to let me court you?”
“Perhaps I considered it at first.”
“But you never wrote a word against it.”
“You were fighting! What kind of a person would I be to dishearten and steal hope from a man who might die on a battlefield the next day?”
His jaw tightened. “So instead you let me believe we might have a future together.”
She shut her eyes. “I tried to discourage you, but I was not bold enough. Not direct enough.”
“You deceived me.”
Hurt and shame collided in her chest. Tears pooled and fell. “Mr. Dodd . . . Stephen. Please. Forgive me. That was never my intention. I merely wanted to give you hope.”
He gave her a look rife with sadness. “Truth hurts, but it ultimately heals. Deception, though done with good intentions, always destroys. Always.”
She shuddered against a sob. “Please forgive me. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you.”
He nodded. “Some of the fault is mine. I expected too much from you. But please know trying to keep people happy is far more dangerous than simply being honest.”
The door slammed behind him as he left.
Chapter 28
CADENCE PUSHED THROUGH THE DOORS of Judiciary Square Hospital. She unbuttoned her cuffs and rolled up her sleeves, sending up a thankful prayer for Miriam’s willingness to watch the children. When she’d asked the spirited woman if she minded keeping up with the young ones for the day, Miriam only cackled.
“Go on with you. Law, I done it for a long time, didn’t I? You the best thing that ever happened to them young’uns. Nothing wrong with takin’ a day for yourself now and then. We’ll be just fine.”
Leaving the family for the day had been easy enough, but escaping Zeke’s watchfulness had been another hurdle altogether. The mountainous man was always close, keeping a sharp eye outside the house, just as Joshua paid him to do. Cadence had waited until he was distracted by a near accident between two irate drivers in front of the house before slipping out the back door. She had been granted a reprieve and she would not squander it.
Ever since Stephen Dodd’s visit over a week ago, she had been needled with an urge to do something. To comfort, to help, to nurse. Was it penance of a sort? Possibly. Cadence sighed and eased as best she could down the clogged hallway of the hospital, looking for one of the nurses or stewards to receive instructions.
She hadn’t yet told Joshua of Stephen’s visit or of her certainty of the life growing inside her. She placed her hand across her still-flat stomach. His child. They had seen so little of each other the past several weeks. Life had been a whirlwind since Manassas . . . battle on top of battle with the hospital straining at the seams. If the only way she could see her husband was to work alongside him, that was what she would do.
And she would need to do it now before her condition became noticeable.
She rounded the corner and nearly collided with a lanky man who righted her with gentle hands on her shoulders. “Pardon me, ma’am, I—”
She looked up in surprise, then smiled at the expression on Honest Swindle’s thin face.
“Well, happy day! If it ain’t Nurse Piper! Er, that is, Mrs. Ivy. We are all tickled pink around here at the news. Doc grinned big as a cat who swallowed a canary when he told me the news. Says he claimed himself a bride and that bride was you! Goodness, you’re a sight for sore eyes.”
Laughing, she squeezed his hands. “It’s good to see you too. I’ve missed your smile.”
“Say, you looking for the doc? Good luck finding him in all this chaos.”
“I’ll find him, but what I really came to do today is lend my assistance.”
His shoulders sagged. “Glad we’ll be to have it too. As you can see, there’s more to be done than we have hands and feet for doing.”
“Show me where to start.”
Joshua kneaded the back of his neck. Another headache bloomed. He must figure out why Private Kelsie was not responding to the quinine. And of the wounded who had arrived from Antietam, over half of them suffered from hasty amputations with unclean instruments. He could already see the telltale signs of blood poisoning setting in. What aid could he possibly give them now that the damage was done?
A soothing melody drifted down the hallway. He froze. He knew that voice. Surely she wasn’t here. She was protecting the children, wasn’t she?
With a renewed burst of energy, he jogged in the direction of the sweet melody and stopped at the door of the room. Cadence stooped over a wounded soldier, softly singing as she changed the bandages on his mangled arm. When the air hit his exposed flesh, the man groaned.
“I can’t. The pain.”
“I know. It hurts. Focus on the words.” She eased back into the hymn, her voice soft.
“Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come.
’Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far
And grace will lead me home.”
The man relaxed as she cleaned and rewrapped his red, gaping flesh. She smoothed his hair back from his forehead. “There now. Rest. It’s done.”
She looked up and stopped when her gaze collided with Joshua’s, but there was no masking her pleasure upon seeing him. He didn’t know whether to throttle her or smother her with kisses.
Instead, he crossed his arms and affected a stern posture. Might as well have a bit of fun. “Good afternoon, Mrs. Ivy.”
She quirked her mouth. “Doctor.”
“Might I have a word with you in my office?”
“Of course.”
He led her down the hallway and opened the door, shutting it behind her with a decisive click. “What do you think you’re doing?”
She whirled to face him, jaw slack. “Pardon?”
“Where are the children?”
She blinked. “With Miriam.”
He narrowed his eyes. “And Zeke?”
She stared at him innocently, but there was something in her expression that told him there was more than she was saying. “Guarding the house, I presume.”
“Really? I surely hope so, since that�
�s what I pay him to do. What else did I secure his services to do? Oh yes, guard the woman I love.”
She eased to the far side of his desk. “Maybe he’s not very good at his job.”
Joshua nearly laughed at the meek sound of her voice and the way it lilted. So much like Penelope’s when she was caught in a lie. “You think so?”
She huffed out a breath. “Fine. Would you like to know what happened? I waited until he was distracted and slipped out the door. I wanted to come here and serve, Joshua. Is that so terrible?”
He approached the desk and she remained steadfastly on the opposite side. “No, not terrible. Why didn’t you just ask me?”
“Because I thought you would say no.” She brightened. “Would you have said yes?”
“Probably not.”
A scowl darkened her exquisite face. “Joshua Ivy!”
“Sweetheart, the children need you. Until I’m sure this fellow, whoever he is, is gone, I would feel better if you and the children were under Zeke’s protection during the day. That’s all.”
She crossed her arms and glared. “Sometimes I think you just married me so you would have a free nanny.”
“Cadence . . .”
Moisture glossed her eyes. “The real reason I came is that . . . that . . .”
“What?”
She sniffled. “I miss you.”
“I miss you, too, sweetheart. It won’t always be like this.” He moved to go around the desk and hold her, but she slipped out of his reach. Her lip protruded like a petulant child’s.
He grinned. “I thought you said you missed me.”
“I thought I did, but then you boss me and I wonder why.”
He laughed and came toward her like an animal stalking its prey. “Come now, Mrs. Ivy, you care for me a little more than that, or else you wouldn’t have come all the way here.”
Her eyes flashed. “Don’t flatter yourself. I came to nurse the wounded while I still can.” Her cheeks reddened.
He froze. “What do you mean ‘while you still can’?”