by Tara Johnson
“I—that is—”
She was slimmer, and she hadn’t been eating much since Manassas. She hadn’t contracted an illness there, had she? Had he been so busy he hadn’t even noticed his own wife slowly consumed by a malady? Terror seized him.
He raced to her and cupped her face in his hands, searching. “Tell me. Whatever it is, we can battle it together.”
She lifted her face to his, but instead of the fear he expected to see, joy sparkled in her eyes. “I’m carrying your child, Joshua. Our child.”
His mind blanked, then spun. His chest filled to overflowing.
“A baby? Our baby.” Saying it out loud nearly made his knees give way. Reverently he knelt and kissed Cadence’s stomach, then stood, peppering her face in kisses before claiming her lips. “I can’t believe it. A baby.”
She sighed and murmured against him between kisses, “Are you happy?”
“Deliriously so.”
“Now you know why I came. I want to do my part, to help, but before much longer I’ll not be able to. Once my condition becomes apparent, society will insist I stay at home.”
He nuzzled her neck and kissed her once more. “Ah, my love, I’m afraid you’ll be staying away from here long before then.”
She stiffened. “What do you mean?”
“Now that you’re expecting, you can’t expose our child to the illnesses that pass through a war hospital. It’s far too dangerous.”
Her dreamy expression melted into ire in a flash. It was all he could do not to laugh.
“But, Joshua!”
“Sorry, sweetheart.”
She glowered. “What are you saying?”
He kissed the tip of her nose. “I’m saying that if you show up here again, I’ll be forced to send you back home, even if I have to throw you over my shoulder and carry you there myself.”
Stubborn, pigheaded, mulish . . .
The hack bounced, causing her stomach to protest.
Much to her dismay, her husband had hailed a hack to take her home from the hospital without delay. Her world, her independence was shrinking each day. After fighting for it for so long, was she now doomed to surrender it?
Another sharp dip. Nausea bubbled. She could not tolerate such a conveyance. Walking would be far preferable.
“Driver? Would you mind dropping me off at the dry goods store just ahead?”
He turned, frowning. “Your husband paid for much farther, ma’am.”
“Yes, I know, but I’ve changed my mind. It would save me the trouble of coming back later, you see.”
He sighed as if wearied by the fickleness of the female mind. She ignored the silent barb, only too happy when he pulled the hack to a stop and she felt her feet connect with solid ground once again.
As the rattling hack drove away, she placed a calming hand on her churning stomach.
Instead of going to the dry goods shop, she turned left. Perhaps she would pass Father’s toy store and pick up a stick of candy for the children before heading home.
The streets were crammed with shoppers and soldiers, vagrants and politicians. Truly, Washington could hold no more people.
Finding Father’s shop, she breathed a sigh of relief when she pushed the door open. Instead of nameless strangers, James, Penelope, and Etta turned to her with wide smiles.
“Mother!”
They rushed to hug her around the middle.
She returned their squeezes. “However did you come to be here?”
Penelope looked up, eyes dancing. “Papa Piper, of course! He called and asked if we’d like to see the shop.”
James nodded. “Miriam said she was only too glad to be free of us. Said we could drive a mad dog off the back of a meat wagon.” His brows pinched. “What’s that mean?”
Cadence patted his head. “It means it’s time to visit Papa Piper.”
“Cadence!” Father emerged from the back. “I hope you don’t mind me whisking my grandchildren away for a few hours. Miriam said you were at the hospital helping your husband, and I thought—”
She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “I’m delighted. And clearly they are overjoyed.” She smiled, watching them examine a dollhouse.
Footfalls sounded. Looking up, she saw Tate enter, a ledger under his arm.
“Father putting you to work?”
“Always.” His smile came easy, until his gaze snagged on the children. Crimson mottled his neck.
Cadence puzzled. Why the strange reaction?
She glanced out the display window, wondering if Zeke lurked nearby. No doubt the large fellow stood guard, carefully attending his duties.
The bell jangled over the door. A well-dressed woman swept in, her small daughter in tow. The child’s ringlets were perfectly coiffed. The woman’s skirts held not a speck of dust nor a single wrinkle. Her daughter moved toward the dolls, but when the mother saw James and Etta, her strident voice cut the air.
“Amelia, stop!”
The child froze, looking back at her mother with wide eyes.
The mother sniffed, pointing at Cadence’s children. “We will not shop in a store with their kind.”
James dropped his gaze. Etta ran for Tate, hiding behind his legs. He noticeably stiffened. Penelope glared.
Cadence’s breath caught in her throat, a thousand words bubbling for release. “Those are my children, ma’am, and I assure you they are quite well behaved.”
The woman turned to Cadence with an incredulous expression. “Yours? You cannot be serious! You have taken in—?” She used a term so offensive it made Cadence choke.
Cadence moved toward the children, squeezing both Penelope’s and James’s shoulders. “I’m quite serious.”
Father straightened. “Ma’am, as owner of this shop, I ask you to peruse with kindness and decorum.”
“Not as long as they are here. Come along, Amelia.” She turned to leave before whirling back, pointing her long finger at Etta and sneering. “Trust me. Heathens like her need to know their place.”
Fury iced Cadence’s veins. “Etta’s place is right where she is . . . being protected by her uncle from the acid tongue of a mean-spirited woman.”
The stranger’s eyes narrowed. “It would be better on the auction block.”
Father stepped forward. “You may leave.”
The mother and daughter left. Cadence kissed James’s and Penelope’s heads. “I’m sorry for her remarks. What she said . . . it’s not true.”
“I know.” James frowned. “Still hurts.”
She rubbed his back. “I know.” Moving to scoop up Etta, she murmured, “I’m sorry, my love.”
The toddler wrapped chubby arms around her neck, but it was Tate’s expression that gave her pause. He stood silently, watching the little girl, as large tears ran down his cheeks.
Chapter 29
CADENCE SLIPPED FROM THE TOY STORE, Father’s admonition to return home and rest still ringing in her ears. She’d tried to hide her fatigue from him, but after spending the better part of an hour with the children, both he and Tate noted her sluggish steps.
“Here.” He’d pushed a sack of candy into her hands. “Take this home to give the children later. You and Miriam could both use an afternoon off. Tate and I can bring them home in a few hours.”
“Thank you.”
She’d waved good-bye, though none of them had seemed to notice her departure, so engrossed they were in a game of checkers. Reaching into the bag, she pulled out a ginger drop and popped it into her mouth, praying it would soothe her stomach.
The streets were as congested as they’d been an hour before. Wagons rattled past. Hawkers called out, begging passersby to explore their wares. The commotion only added to Cadence’s discomfort.
Holding a lavender-scented handkerchief to her nose, she had just passed an alley reeking with the odor of rotting garbage when an arm snaked out and yanked her into the shadows. Another hand clamped over her mouth, effectively silencing her scream.
She clawed at the steel-banded arms pulling her deeper into the alley. Her boots clattered against a glass bottle.
Warm breath fanned her neck. “No use fighting, princess. The Knights always emerge victorious.” His whisper was a slither.
She kicked at the unyielding body dragging her backward, but it was fruitless. She was no match for the man’s strength.
His hand moved from her mouth to her throat, squeezing. She longed to scream, but breath fled. Spots danced before her eyes.
A sudden crack, and her captor released her with a whoosh. She collapsed onto the gritty alley pavement in a heap. Pain burst in her hip and wrists. Groaning, she twisted to see an unkempt man lying facedown beside her. Zeke loomed overhead, a broken board in his hands.
“Zeke!” She scrambled up, wincing at the fiery darts in her hip, and threw herself into his arms.
He stepped back and glanced from side to side, while gently extracting himself from her grip. “There now, missy. Won’t do for your reputation to be seen with me like that.” He glared down at the unconscious attacker. “Ain’t no one gonna hurt you. Not on my watch.” His eyes narrowed. “How did you get free of the house without me seeing?”
She looked down. “I snuck out the back this morning and went to Judiciary Square. Joshua wasn’t too happy with me, so he hired a hack to drive me home. The driver was so reckless, the wheels so rickety, that the drive made me sick, so I decided to walk the rest of the way. I—I—” She ended on a sob.
He patted her back again. “Can’t protect you if you go sneakin’ around.”
She sniffed, wiping away the tears with her fingertips. “I know. Forgive me. It was foolish. I suppose the threats haven’t been real to me until now.”
Zeke lifted her chin to study her neck and grunted. “Hm. Turning purple. Ain’t no hiding that from the doc.” His dark eyes were sad. “Let’s get you home.”
Nodding, she took his arm. “Zeke? The man said something about the Knights always being victorious. What did he mean?”
The large man’s lips firmed into a hard line. “It means we know who’s after your husband now, and it’s not good news.”
Joshua picked through a broken crate, looking for any scraps of food he might find. When a fella’s stomach cramped so much it felt like it was sticking to his backbone, he tended not to be picky about where his next meal came from.
It wasn’t just for him. The other gaunt faces in the alley looked more desperate than he felt. They must have something to eat. Little Susan’s cough was getting worse. He studied his dirt-crusted nails. They were no longer the small hands of a boy, but those of a man. A surgeon’s. He held them up to the light. Crimson. Slick and glistening with blood.
Taking shallow breaths, he trembled and backed into a wall. The force of it stole the air from his lungs.
Faces crowded around him, their eyes beady, breath foul, and teeth snarling. “Trash. Rubbish. That’s all you are. All you’ll ever be. You can’t save her. She’s lost to you. They all are. Gone. Gone. Gone.”
Through the crowd of faces taunting him, he could see Cadence reaching for him, far down the length of the littered alley. Her face was stricken with terror.
“Joshua, help me!”
He tried to push past the shrieking mob, but his feet wouldn’t move, couldn’t get free of the sticky tar keeping them in place. Before he could reach her, arms snaked around her and ripped her away. His blood ran cold.
“No!”
A sharp gasp caused him to sit upright.
His breath came in short heaves. He stared into the darkened bedroom and swallowed against his dry throat. At his side, Cadence stirred.
“What’s wrong?” she mumbled sleepily.
He forced his heart rate to return to normal. “Nothing, sweetheart. Just a dream. Go back to sleep.”
“Mmm.”
She curled next to his side, and he studied her beautiful features before brushing a dark lock of hair from her cheek, relishing the silky feel of it between his fingers. Her breath evened and slowed as she drifted into slumber once more. His chest ached as the nightmare resurfaced. He loved her, far more then he’d ever dreamed possible. And now she was carrying their child. He shook his head. It still didn’t seem real.
He pressed a kiss to her head and slipped from the bed. The dark foreboding refused to leave him be.
He stumbled to the washstand and splashed a handful of water onto his face before drying himself with a cloth. Moving to the window, he stared out, searching for the face of the nameless man who had tried to choke his wife. Who watched his house. More than one man, really. A horde of demons.
The afternoon’s events had shaken him like marbles in a can. Zeke had blamed himself. Foolish notion, but the attack had rattled them all.
Joshua slammed his eyes shut. What if he’d lost her? The baby? He whirled away from the window and dropped into a chair, fisting his hair as all the horrid possibilities ran through his mind.
God, I can’t do this.
Perhaps it would have been better never to have opened his heart at all. Spared himself all this anguish. Spend his time happily ensconced at Judiciary. He’d had purpose but no attachments.
This way of life was far too painful.
He’d already lost his parents and Papa John. He couldn’t bear to lose another person he cared for. If one of them was ripped away, the bleeding would never stop.
Chapter 30
“LOUISA, I COULDN’T EAT ANOTHER BITE.”
The housekeeper frowned at Cadence and harrumphed, eliciting a slew of giggles from the children gathered around Father’s table.
“You gonna turn down the only apple pie in Washington? Look at you. Gotta fatten you up, girl.”
Cadence protested. “I had two helpings tonight.”
“Two helpings ain’t gonna make no difference. You got nothing to draw on if you get sick.”
Cadence moaned. “I can’t, Louisa. I fear I’ll pop.”
Louisa stormed into the kitchen, muttering the whole way. Laughter peppered the dining room.
Tate’s eyes danced. “You’ve done it now, little sister.”
She lifted her hands in a helpless gesture. “I can’t make room I don’t have.” Her gaze flickered to Joshua. He had been quiet all evening. She fixed him with a meaningful look.
He seemed to understand. A small smile hovered around his mouth and he nodded before clearing his throat. “Cadence may have even less room in the coming months.” He chuckled when she pinched his arm. “She is in the family way.”
Gasps of delight rose up. James grinned from ear to ear. He turned to Etta, who was busy fisting a biscuit into her mouth. “Did you hear that, Etta? Cadence is going to have a baby!”
Etta smiled through crumbs. “Baby!”
Cadence laughed. “Are you happy, children?”
James nodded. “Is it a boy or a girl?”
Joshua’s mouth tipped. “We won’t know until it comes.”
Cadence’s gaze drifted to Penelope, who was staring at her, wide-eyed. “What do you think, sweetheart?”
She shrugged. “That’s good news, I guess. May I go play with Papa Piper’s toys?”
Cadence’s happiness deflated. “Of course.”
Odd. She’d thought Penelope would have been ecstatic. Before she could ponder further, Father came around the table and embraced her while Tate moved to shake Joshua’s hand and offer his congratulations.
“My little girl. A mother.” His eyes misted. “If only your own mother were here to see this.”
She kissed his cheek. “I know. You’re an amazing grandfather already to our little ones. You’ll be pure mush when the baby arrives.”
He wiped his eyes. “I already love those children like they’re my own. Isn’t it strange how a heart knows no difference?”
Penelope’s voice drifted down the hall. “Papa Piper, will you come play with me?”
“You’re being summoned.”
He patted her head. “I
wouldn’t have it any other way.”
As the dining room drained of people, Cadence pushed away from the table and watched Joshua ease Etta down from her chair. The tyke toddled right up to Tate and grasped his hand, looking up into his face.
“Pay?”
He looked down and Cadence saw it then. The guilt, the shame he still carried. His chest heaved as he extracted his fingers. “I’m sorry, Etta. Not today.” He walked swiftly from the room.
Joshua moved to fill the gap. “Come. I’ll play with you.”
Etta babbled as she led him toward the parlor, but Cadence bypassed all of it, intent on finding her brother. Where had he always gone when he was little and sick at heart?
Outdoors. To freedom.
Hastening to the back door, she slipped outside and let the cool air wash her skin. She peered through the darkness until she found him, head bowed as he clutched the narrow iron fence surrounding the garden.
Rocks crunched underneath her shoes as she approached. “Tate, what troubles you?”
In the silver moonlight, she could see his fingers tighten until his knuckles were white. “Nothing.”
“Nothing doesn’t drive you out here. You’ve done the same thing since we were children.”
He expelled a harsh breath. “I can’t do this. Every time I’m around them, it’s a reminder of what I’ve done. What I am.”
An ache knotted her chest. What could she possibly say to ease his pain? “Etta doesn’t care, you know. She only seeks your companionship. She likes you.”
He pushed away from the fence with a growl. “That’s what makes it worse. If that babe grows up to learn what I did to people just like her, women, mothers, fathers . . .” He held his head. “For pity’s sake, Cadence, it might have been her own birth mother that I captured and sold to a greedy buyer who wanted nothing more than another work mule for his field or another body to warm his bed.”
She cringed. “Tate, you must stop. You’ll drive yourself mad. You’ve asked God for forgiveness.”
He looked up into the night sky as crystal tears ran in ribbons down his cheeks and disappeared into his dark beard. “Yet I cannot forgive myself.”