Valence (Confluence Book 4)

by Jennifer Foehner Wells

  Jane nodded. “Humans do that too.”

  “Do the Sectilius?” Ouvaq asked.

  Jane thought about it. “Sectilian women sometimes elaborately plait their hair. It seems to be an intricate and time-consuming endeavor. My impression was that it was intended to make one more beautiful.”

  Ouvaq smiled and rubbed her hairless head with a rueful look. “That sounds lovely. Can you show us?”

  Jane said, “There must be images in the ship’s database.”

  Ouvaq stood up immediately. “I think I’m going to go look right now.”

  “Do pelimarians use any enhancements?” Ajaya asked.

  Feig looked a little surprised. “No. We’ve no need of them.”

  Ajaya looked hesitant, then asked, “Not even scents?”

  Feig tilted her head to one side. “No scents. We wouldn’t want to alter or mask our personal aroma. It’s very important to us, to our identity. It signals that we are healthy and fit, among other things.”

  So that answered that question.

  Murrrsi rose. “My eyes don’t want to stay open anymore.” She yawned and stretched, then padded slowly for the exit.

  Ajaya scooted her chair back. “I’m going to go do some reading before I sleep.”

  Jane smiled at Ajaya. She knew she’d be reading the messages from Ron.

  It seemed as though the evening’s festivities had come to an end. Jane was about to push back and excuse herself when Feig touched her arm.

  “I wanted to ask another question.”

  Jane raised her brows and steeled herself.

  Feig’s fingers lingered on her arm in a familiar manner. Jane resisted the urge to pull away. This was just friendly affection, she was sure. Nothing more. A human friend touching her like this wouldn’t have bothered her in the slightest. She silently berated herself for the biases about the pelimarians that she had not yet completely let go of. They had done absolutely nothing but good since arriving on the ship. They’d respected her. She had no reason to react that way.

  “It’s about Ei’Brai. It is a delight to swim with a kuboderan, and a rare opportunity for those who aren’t shipbound. We have inquired and found Ei’Brai is interested, but he requested that we ask your permission before indulging.”

  Feig turned Jane’s arm over and lightly traced the blue veins under her skin. Jane was beginning to feel strange about the contact. It felt very intimate. And Feig’s scent was particularly noticeable, especially after talking about it. First, she would answer the question, and second, she would extricate herself.

  Except she was speechless. On the surface, it seemed an odd request, but hadn’t she thought about it herself many times? Was there any reason at all to deny it? And then there was the sensation of Brai, who had maintained only a tenuous connection to the preceding conversation, perking up and opening his channel wider, suddenly very interested in both the question and her response.

  She stammered, partly because she didn’t know what to say and partly because Feig had moved on to gently kneading her palm, which felt insanely good but also wrong. And that scent. It was heady. It was surprisingly hard to think of anything else. “Oh, I… Well, if Ei’Brai says he’d like to… I see no problem…”

  Feig studiously kept her eyes focused on massaging Jane’s hand, no expression crossing her face. “Will you join us?”

  “I don’t know…”

  “We have a breathing apparatus that will fit nearly anyone. It may certainly be used by a human. This exercise is most properly attended by the entire crew.”

  Jane didn’t say anything. She just watched Feig sensually manipulating her hand. She couldn’t seem to break free of the moment, but she knew she needed to stop it before Feig got the wrong idea.

  She had thoughts of asking Brai to inspect Feig’s intentions, but did not allow those to bubble into the areas she shared with Brai. That would be wrong.

  Feig lifted her eyes to meet Jane’s. “You isolate yourselves so much, Jane. Aren’t you lonely?”

  Her face felt flaming hot. This was exactly the kind of conversation she’d been dreading from the pelimarians. Her fingers clenched and the muscles in her arm tensed. Feig’s ministrations ceased, but she didn’t remove her hands from Jane’s. They rested lightly on her, still soothing despite the subtly implied rejection. “I miss Alan, yes. But I’m not lonely. This kind of separation from a partner is sometimes unavoidable, but bearable.”

  “We could not be without family. We would waste away.”

  Jane shook her head. “But my family is here.”

  “But you don’t—”

  Jane leapt to cut her off. “We don’t. No. Our concept of family, of a support network, of friendship, is different. That’s true. We separate our community from our romantic lives, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less valuable.”

  Feig looked confused. “Your community seems so tenuously connected. It seems fragile to us. Without the daily reassurance of touch…”

  Jane moved her hand to cover Feig’s lightly. “Touch is very important to humans. We need it to be healthy, but it doesn’t have to be sexual in nature to fulfill that need.”

  Feig tilted her head toward one shoulder in a manner that looked uncharacteristically helpless for her. “We don’t understand. Full skin-to-skin contact is—”

  “We don’t normally engage in casual contact with people we don’t know well. Extensive amounts of touch are generally reserved for relationships with special people, like a parent or child, close family members, devoted friends, people who care deeply for each other.”

  “What kind of touch?”

  “Like this.” Jane nodded at their clasped hands. “Sitting close together. And hugging—that’s probably the most important in my culture.”

  Feig looked down at their hands, clearly not grasping what a hug was. Then she looked up, that unmistakable questioning expression on her face.

  Jane stood. “I’ll show you.”

  Feig rose to her feet as Jane stepped close and wrapped her arms around her, squeezing gently. “Like this?” Feig mimicked what Jane was doing.

  It felt nice. Feig’s scent was even richer and more potent at this proximity. The moment stretched out longer than it probably should have.

  Jane wondered suddenly if this was something Brai also needed. Was he missing Pio just as much as she was missing Alan? Perhaps the swim would relax them all.

  Jane pulled away slowly. “Yes, I’ll swim with you and Ei’Brai.”

  Feig continued to cradle Jane’s arm and hovered over her, forcing eye contact. Her voice was soft and pleading. “Will you also consider joining us in our rooms? We could show you the joys of pelimarian friendship as you have shown me your lovely hug.”

  Jane resisted the urge to break Feig’s gaze. The moment of forced refusal had come and she would be clear and honest. “No, Feig. I’m very sorry. I’m in a monogamous relationship and I will not betray his trust. Please don’t ask me that again.”

  Feig managed to smile and look mildly chagrinned at the same time. “We were hoping we could tempt you. I couldn’t let this moment pass. Please remember that this is our nature. We long to learn about human intimacy, but it is not to be with you. We will try to understand your reasons and will respect your decision. We hope this doesn’t create any negative feelings for you.”

  “Thank you.” It was all she could say.

  Feig released Jane and turned and walked away.

  41

  BRAI TRIED NOT to let his excitement bleed into his connections with anyone, though Jane sensed it, of course. She was on her way for a session of what she designated as ‘one on one’ time with him. He treasured these moments with her.

  She would stand on the other side of the transparent enclosure and they would discuss a variety of topics, from mundane to urgent. When these conversations went on for lengthy durations, she would eventually seat herself on the platform. Often she wore warm clothing or brought blankets with her because his e
nvironment was so different from what was optimal for her.

  The crew swim would be held soon, immediately after the daily work was complete. In fact, nearly everyone had begun preparations for the event. It enlivened his senses to note that every crew member was not only interested in participating, but that they were experiencing the same sort of rousing excitement.

  Life had already returned to its standard rhythm. He was once again lodged in his enclosure. Nothing had significantly changed within its boundaries, and though he worked hard to keep himself distracted, once again the only sensory input he experienced came from outside, from others.

  He could almost believe that Pliga and Pio were just a dream, or a memory experienced by another crew member, not one of his own.

  And yet he ached for the lost freedom and for her. He wondered if their lives would ever twine that same way again.

  And yet if they did, that might mean not having Jane in his life.

  Maybe it had been wrong to deny Pio the chance to produce his offspring. When his life ended, Jane, with her short lifespan, would be long gone. Who would be left to remember him? To know that he’d existed? Who would tell stories of his life the way Jane read stories of the lives of other humans on her portable reading device? Would there be stories of Jane and Brai? Or would there be stories of Jane and Alan or perhaps of Jane and Ron?

  Perhaps he should devote some effort to writing his own stories.

  Jane arrived, her mouth set in a closed-lip smile. She was very apprehensive about the group swim, but she noted his eagerness and found it amusing. He sought to ease her anxiety.

  Brai jetted in a loop, arriving opposite her to bob in place. Her mouth opened to let out a delighted laugh, the smile broadening afterward. He liked eliciting these responses from her.

  “You’re smiling too,” she said. “In your own way.”

  “Indeed. A chimerical smile.”

  Her brow knit together slightly. “Do you know what to expect? The pelimarians are being very mysterious.”

  “Not in the slightest.”

  She found that answer less than adequate.

  He regarded her tense expression. “Kuboderans occupying pelimarian ships were shunned, Jane. They were other, too different for sectilian kuboderans to tolerate. Any contact was brief and related only to docking procedures or general navigation.”

  Jane frowned.

  “Retrospectively examining my own brief encounters with pelimarian kuboderan individuals leads me to venture that they are perhaps more expressive and, though I cannot be certain, happier.”

  Her eyes widened. She quickly drew the same conclusion he had. “You think they don’t use anything like the yoke to force control?”

  “Perhaps not. It’s certainly possible.”

  “Have you asked Feig or the others about it?”

  “Not yet.”

  She tilted her head to one side. Humans were very expressive with body language despite being confined by the rigid structure of bones. “You never hesitate to ask me questions. Why are you being so shy?”

  He gazed at her solemnly. “It seemed disloyal.”

  “What? Why?”

  “You are still wary of them.”

  The small crease between her lightly furred brows deepened. “That’s about me. I know that you and Murrrsi and probably everyone else have had a good laugh at my expense regarding my reaction to the arrival of the pelimarians. But what no one seems to understand is that infidelity is not a threat. That’s not what has bothered me. They’re helpful. I’m glad they’re here, but they’re also a distraction. I worry about unintentional misunderstandings. If I make a mistake in my interactions with them, I could very well prevent Pelimar from assisting Earth should that need arise. And that’s the last thing I want.” She sagged a little. “But that’s my problem. And I think with time it will resolve and I can be at ease. You can cultivate any kind of relationship with any or all of them that you want.”

  He felt contrite and resisted the urge to move into a servile position. “As you wish.”

  She placed her hand on the glass. “Brai, bring me these issues when they come up.”

  “It is not an issue.”

  Her eyes rolled around in their sockets. They were remarkably mobile.

  He changed the subject purposefully. “This clothing is special for the swim?”

  She looked different. The garment was like a second skin and the colors were vibrant splashes—very different from her normal attire.

  Jane glanced down, making a wry face. “I borrowed this from Ouvaq. I wouldn’t have chosen these colors for myself. It’s made to conserve heat. Humans can easily get hypothermia in cold water. I haven’t put on the hood to cover my head yet.”

  “You were very busy today. It seems as though your presentations have been well received.”

  “Too well. The number of messages is overwhelming. I can probably do about ten to twelve more shows just answering questions about Earth.”

  He pointed out the positive, in an attempt to redirect her thoughts. “The interest bodes well. You are suited to teach.”

  “I should be. That was my profession. But it all seems so… fruitless. I’m just entertaining them. I feel like I’m not making any headway. I’m no closer to protecting Earth from the Swarm. I just don’t know what else to do.”

  “You are doing what you must. You are doing what you can.”

  She sighed. “Is everyone ready for the swim?”

  He sent out tendrils of thought and the queries were quickly answered. “They have begun to gather in the medical chamber, with the intention of entering through the newly fashioned access portal there.”

  He felt her anxiety triple. “I’d better get going then. I believe we’ll be learning a lot more about the pelimarians today, as well as their kuboderans.”

  “Indeed.”

  He waited until she was out of sight, then surged toward the medical-access chamber giddily.

  42

  A MANTRA RAN through Jane’s head as she walked toward Brai’s medical suite. “This will be different.”

  Jane had been a strong swimmer since early elementary school, but had managed to avoid recreational swimming since preadolescence. It brought up too many memories. It simply hadn’t been worth the painful ache in her chest. The same ache that was close to paralyzing her right now.

  However, in this case she wouldn’t stay away for several reasons. Curiosity, primarily. But the prospect of the group swim was also breathing new life into Brai, who had clearly been bored and somewhat dispirited of late. She hadn’t seen him this excited in weeks and didn’t want to disappoint him. Even now, Brai waited just outside the diagnostic bubble that they’d be using as an airlock, his limbs curling and whipping around in uncontained exuberance. The rest of the crew had decided to participate. She was their leader. Not going just didn’t seem to be an option, so she’d tough out the bad feelings.

  The headgear Celui handed her was nothing like anything she’d ever seen before. In fact, the first thing she asked him was where the rest of her gear was. He smiled, demonstrated how to put it on, and reassuringly described how it worked.

  It was startlingly simple and small. A full face mask, seemingly composed of plastic, it remodeled itself to fit the user when placed on the face, creating a flexible seal which even allowed her to talk into a tiny mic. It detected not only facial structure but also where gas exchange was occurring and adjusted to accommodate. The straps that went around the head could be configured to suit different species, and a pair of tubes led to a book-sized device that attached to her clothing on front or back, specifically tailored to recycle the user’s exhalations, cleaving CO2 to produce more oxygen when needed and storing the excess carbon for disposal.

  Jane pulled down her ponytail and quickly braided her hair so she could slip the wet suit’s hood over her head. Celui helped her attach it to the neck of the wet suit. When she put the mask against her face, Celui and Ouvaq helped her mold
it around her ears so she’d be able to hear the rest of the group speak. Then both of them turned to assist Murrrsi, whose mask fitting was a little more complex due to all her hair. They parted her fur just behind her ears and helped her hold it in place as the mask was coaxed to settle into these furrows. It elongated to cover her projecting muzzle and nestled against her upper throat in another part in her fur. Murrrsi acted as though she’d done all of this before and seemed unconcerned about the seal.

  Jane had been dreading putting on any kind of face mask, but this was so light and transparent she barely knew she had it on. Her view didn’t fog up at all, so it handled moisture as well. It felt nothing like the SCUBA gear she remembered wearing as a youth in Australia with her parents. That went a long way to relieving some of her anxiety.

  Imadua had his own gear, which was even more compact. If she hadn’t happened to be looking she would have missed him manipulating a small, dark object and then inserting it somewhere under his mantle.

  Jane glanced around. Everyone seemed to be done fiddling with their masks.

  Feig stood in the middle of the room and spoke up. “If there’s a problem with anyone’s gear, don’t panic. Just return to the airlock. It cycles quickly. Ouvaq will join you to help you. We’ll stay close at first since some of us are inexperienced.”

  Jane nodded. She had no problem with Feig being in charge. She was doing a fine job so far.

  Jane focused on breathing evenly and staying calm. There was a faint sour smell in the mask from her breath, but she breathed easily enough. So far so good.

  Feig gestured at Brai. “And now, let us clear our minds and join with Brai as we enter the airlock in pairs. Ouvaq and Imadua will go first.” She tapped the console, and the portal, newly constructed by the pligans to be nearly identical to the one on Brai’s side, glided open silently. Imadua gracefully stepped over the threshold toward the center of the chamber. Ouvaq joined him silently. They turned toward Brai together as Ouvaq reached out to trigger the water to fill the chamber.