Seductive Truths (Seductive Trilogy)

by Becky Cairns

  ‘You are my world, Alex. Losing you would be like losing a limb. I just wouldn’t function properly without it. I love you so much, words aren’t enough. When I first saw you, I knew you were the one for me, and you know me well enough to know that, when I have my mind set on something there is no going back. I go for it until it’s mine. You and me, Alex, we’re meant to be.’

  He still has the power to reduce me to a quivering mess. I’m like a young teenager again, hormones all over the place with a school girl crush and the most popular guy in the college has just asked me out.

  My eyes flicker towards his tempting, flush lips then back towards his penetrating brown orbs. The hunger deepens and like some magnetic force our faces draw closer and closer until there is nothing between us but a finger’s gap.

  Oh God, he’s not going to…

  Before I know it, our lips are touching. Feather light at first, but soon I feel his pressing down on mine causing the fire burning in my stomach to ignite the hungry glow and it blazes out of control - teeth tantalising, lips locking and tongues entwining. Our hands do not linger for long and soon join in with the foray. I snatch fistfuls of his shirt, yanking him as close to my body as I can. The heat is overpowering and I simply want more.

  Pained sapphire eyes and a defenceless body swarms my mind and I am wracked with guilt.

  What am I doing?

  How could I even entertain the thought of kissing, more like ravishing, the man who put Gareth in hospital? Christ! I am snogging my brother’s killer!

  I feel sick.

  Yanking myself away I exclaim, ‘This cannot happen, will never happen. You and I are over and nothing you say will change my mind. What you’ve done is inexcusable and I will never be able to get over it. I...I need to go,’ I fluster around continuing with my packing. ‘I need to get away from you. Can’t stand it anymore, need to get away, need to go.’

  ‘Alex…’

  ‘Need to go, have to go.’

  ‘Alex, will you just listen to me!’ and I feel firm hands grab hold of my upper arm and tug me round so I end up facing him. ‘Are you mad woman? You can’t seriously be thinking about going back to him can you? Have you heard a word of what I said? He’s a dangerous man…’

  ‘No, you’re the dangerous one William. Can’t you see? It’s because you can lead a double life which is what makes you dangerous. When it comes down to it, you are inevitably two people. And yes, we had something special once upon a time ago, but no longer. A part of me will always love you William, there is no getting away from that fact, but I just can’t be around you.

  ‘And as for Gareth, I haven’t made up my mind. I need time away from this mess, get some sense of normality back into my life. Maybe then I will be able to see clearly. Gareth isn’t exactly going anywhere for the time being so it gives me time.’

  ‘You do know you are making one big mistake by doing this?’ a steely tone slithers into his voice.

  I hate this man he has become…already is…or whatever!

  ‘Then it will be my mistake to make and I’ll live with the consequences.’

  He looks into my eyes, really looks, like he is trying to identify whether I’m bluffing.

  I’ve never noticed before how scary his eyes can get. There are some alarming emotions swimming about in those irises of his.

  ‘Fine,’ he says and lets go of my arm. ‘But you remember what you said, because I grant you there will definitely be consequences.’

  With one last parting look he turns on his heel and storms off towards the front door. However, once again my mouth moves before my brain kicks into gear and I speak without thinking.

  ‘I wish you well William.’

  He stops dead, hand outstretched.

  His head turns slightly to the side as if he is in two minds to turn around, but he doesn’t move from his position. Instead I see his shoulders rise and fall in time with his heavy breathing, back scrunches up and fists clench, tension claiming every inch of his body immobilising him for a mere few seconds.

  My eyes follow a lock of his curly brown hair as it falls across his forehead. Even now my fingers itch with the need to delicately smooth it back into place.

  Yes, William will always hold a special place in my heart.

  ‘Stay safe Alex,’ and then he is gone.

  Out of my life.

  Forever.

  Goodbye William.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Great, it’s raining, such a cliché.

  After William stormed out of our, well, the apartment I hurriedly shoved a few more items into my bag and made a move to head back to Gareth and now here I am watching the rain overflow the drains. The thrashing of the drops beat against the windowpanes, but this doesn’t hinder the snogging couple on the corner, in fact, the weather seems to be encouraging them!

  Wait a minute, that’s my neighbour! No. Keep your focus Alex; you’re on your way to see Gareth.

  One part of my life has come to an end and now it is time to move on.

  Reaching inside my pocket I pull out my mobile phone, but before I have chance to punch in the taxi number it is knocked out of my hand.

  ‘Oh sorry Miss, my fault, wasn’t watching where I was going. Here you go.’

  Looking up to thank him I come face to face with scraggy jet black hair, blood shot eyes and a knowing smile. Dougie?

  ‘What are you doing here?’ I say while alternatively gazing around my surroundings making sure no one is staring at us. ‘If you have come for Gareth I’m afraid…’

  ‘I know about Gareth Alex, but that’s not why I am here. I need you to give him something,’ and a scrunched up slip of paper is shoved into my hand. ‘Tell him to ring it. He needs to ring it.’

  Opening it up I see a scribbled number.

  Don’t recognise it.

  ‘What’s this for? Whose is it?’

  ‘I don’t know who gave it to me or who the number belongs to, I’m just following orders.’

  ‘Can’t you even describe what they looked like?’

  ‘I’m sorry Alex, but I can’t tell you anything. To be honest, I don’t really know much. All I know is that I must get this to Gareth, it’s important.’

  ‘So why can’t you give it to him yourself?’

  ‘I need to go back to my kid, can’t leave him alone for long. Plus, you never know who could be sniffing around hospitals, coppers for instance. I don’t want to run the risk of being caught.’

  ‘I understand Dougie; I’ll give it to him. I’m just on my way back to see him now.’

  ‘Say hi from me and tell him to get well soon so he can get his lardy arse back onto the streets. The area is not quite the same without him sneaking around.’

  ‘I’ll pass on the message. Oh and Dougie, stay safe, I know Gareth would want that.’

  He may be a creep but for some unfathomable reason I find empathy towards him. The longer I am connected to Gareth, the more I feel comfortable in his world, his way of living. I can’t explain it, it’s just…there.

  Dougie’s eyes squint, glistening with inquisition, before a gentle smile lifts the corner of his mouth, slightly chipped teeth peek through.

  ‘Thanks Scarlet.’ Scarlet? Oh yes, I remember, the chosen name given by Gareth! ‘You know, I don’t know what’s really going on or why he went after you, but I’m glad he did. Gareth deserves a woman like you in his life. Just watch your step though; he has made a lot of enemies over the years.’

  ‘Erm…thanks.’

  And with a nod of his head he disappears into the dark alley.

  Hmmm, I wonder what this is about.

  A few rain drops soak into the slip of paper and my eyes drift to the number that has started to smudge.

  Should I ring it? No, it is between Gareth and whoever this number belongs to, I should just trust him. But where has trust got me so far? Still…

  However, curiosity gets the better of me and I quickly dial the number before I have chance to back out.
I can’t believe I’m doing this! But after several rings it goes straight to answerphone.

  So much for that then.

  Sliding the number into my pocket I go to dial another.

  ‘Hello, yes, I’d like a taxi please.’

  

  As I make my way along the corridor I hear a commotion up ahead. I go to turn the corner only to be confronted by an upheaval in one of the rooms. It’s only when I draw closer I realise it’s the room containing Gareth. Panic setting in I pick up my pace and come careening into the chaos, almost crashing into an extremely flustered nurse rushing in the opposite direction.

  ‘Would you calm down Sir, we do not want you to aggravate your wound…’

  ‘Where is she? I need to see her; I need to see Alex!’

  He’s awake! Oh thank God, he’s awake!

  ‘Sir…’

  ‘Get off me you bastard! I do not want that pissing needle anywhere near me! Just get me Alex you incompetent, baboon faced, ar…’

  ‘Oh, thank God, you’re here. I was just going to call you.’ I turn to see a very relieved Nurse Harding almost sprinting to my side, arms out in preparation to guide me to the man kicking up so much fuss. ‘He’s been like this ever since he has woken up. He has been asking for you constantly.’

  ‘Alex! Alex! Is that you? Alex!’ he shouts, trying to peer through the cluster of staff surrounding his bed attempting to calm him down.

  I can’t help but smile at hearing his familiar rough growl. My stomach flips in anticipation. It must be love!

  ‘When did he wake up?’ I ask the nurse as we make our way over to the uncooperative patient.

  ‘About half an hour ago. We were about to give him a sedative to relax him, but now you’re here, maybe you could talk to him. He’s got enough medication pumping around him as it is so we’d rather not give him more. The sooner he quietens down the better; he’s disturbing the rest of our patients.’

  ‘I’ll try my best,’ I reply, never taking my eyes off of Gareth struggling to get out of bed. ‘I’ll try.’

  As I make my way over to his side I experience a sense of euphoria. It feels like I am walking on air and that right here, right now is the place I am meant to be. And when our eyes connect I am home.

  ‘Alex, are you alright?’ fear lights up his pupils.

  ‘Of course I’m alright, more so now you’re awake. I just went home to change. I should be the one asking you how you’re feeling.’

  ‘I’m okay, fit as a fiddle me. Nothing a bit of TLC won’t fix,’ he winks while reaching for my hands.

  ‘Hmmm, I’m sure I can help you with that,’ and I go to lean down to give him a kiss, but am rudely interrupted by a nurse scuttling around checking Gareth’s blood pressure and vitals.

  A knowing look passes between the two of us and I nearly laugh at the exasperated expression that drifts over his face. If looks could kill that nurse wouldn’t still be standing.

  Once she swiftly makes her exit I am quickly pulled down for a penetrating kiss. His lips are slightly chapped but the friction only excites me. I go to move away, but I don’t get very far before I’m swiftly being pulled back against his soft, hungry mouth. I feel him pouring every inch of emotion in the kiss leaving me breathless and in need of oxygen.

  ‘Hmmm, much better,’ he whispers and eyelids flutter open. ‘If only I weren’t all tied up in these wires,’ he says wiggling his flirtatious eyebrows and looks me up and down. My insides do a little jig.

  ‘Behave!’ I gasp in mock surprise. ‘They’ll be plenty of time for that when you’re fit and healthy.’

  ‘Well, you’re looking pretty fit and healthy, that’ll do for now,’ and he reaches out to grab me but groans in pain when his side stretches. His hand automatically comes up to shield his injury. ‘Maybe give it a bit more time. Hey, what’s with the tears?’

  It is only now I notice wetness escaping my eyes, streaming down my cheek. I viciously rub it away, stupid tears. ‘I-I thought I w-was going t-to l-lose you. I-I th-thought…’ I choke as more tears leak.

  The playful banter quickly disperses into a sombre atmosphere as the fatality of what could have happened comes crashing back to me.

  ‘Come here,’ and I am drawn into the comfort of his arms, mindful of him wired up to the machines. The last thing I would want to do is pull one out. He has been through enough hell already, me being clumsy is a hindrance he is better off without.

  ‘Seeing you lying against the wall, watching you bleed, bl-blood pouring from your side, I thought I’d lost you then and there. It felt like I was the one who had been shot, shot right in the heart. Watching the paleness creep into your skin, lips a faint tint of blue, pierced my lungs and I couldn’t breathe. I felt limp right alongside you, completely numb. It destroyed me seeing you like that. I felt it to be over, finished. I screamed for you Gareth, I screamed! Next thing I knew, you were being carted off, away from me.

  ‘And when the doctor said the ambulance had just made it in time I, well, I…a few millimetres over and I wouldn’t be here in your arms, having them comfort me in their warmth, sooth me with the steady rhythm of your tender strokes up and down my back. Never to hear the steady strumming of your heart vibrating through my ear as I rest my head against your chest, it is unthinkable.’

  Lifting my head, I latch onto his eyes, souls entwining, wishing to convey all I feel as I carry on. ‘Life without you, Gareth, is not worth thinking of. You have changed me. Not for the better or the worst, you’ve just…I have changed. You’ve unleashed something in me that has lain dormant for years. You have shown me the extent of what I can be and the lengths I can go. There was more to me than meets the eye, but it took your strength, your…seductive ways if it were, to see it. You have woven your magic.

  ‘Gareth, I’ve never met a man like you. You’re brutish, dangerous, frightening, relentless…’

  ‘Thanks!’

  ‘…But underneath it all, you’re really a kind, caring, decent man, who somehow makes me feel safe and I…I love you for it. I love you Gareth. You hear me. I…I love you.’

  There. I’ve said it. It is now out in the open for him to do what he will. Toss it back in my face or make a declaration of his feelings.

  At first I see shock swimming in his silver pools and he tenses ever so slightly, hand stilling, but gradually the shock turns into a gentle smile that shines from deep within. The hand resumes its ministrations, laying my head back in its resting place on his chest, eyes turn away.

  ‘Shhhh,’ Gareth whispers. ‘I need some rest, as I’m sure you do too. Sleep Alex, it has been a long and tiring past few days. Rest.’

  He may not be courageous enough to say it, but, gazing deeply into his eyes, I saw it as clear as day. I saw his unspoken three little words whispered directly to my heart.

  I close my eyes and a tingling sensation spreads throughout my body warming me from head to toe and I finally rest my tired mind.

  Monitor’s bleeps and blips fade into the background, while his hypnotic caresses delicately gliding through my hair lulls me into a deep slumber.

  

  Everything around me is dark, all except an illuminated, empty, hospital bed, sheets pulled back in a mess, as if someone had left in a hurry. But whom did the bed belong to? Why the need to disappear? Were they discharged? Are they running from something or someone?

  All of a sudden blood starts soaking the bed sheet, starting from the centre then spreads outwards, tainting the pureness of the white. I reach out and touch the sticky substance. Bringing my hand up to my face, I see it is already drenched in the royal, red stuff. I carry on watching as the drips run down my forearm ending in a puddle at the crease where my arm bends. I make no attempt to wipe it away, instead, strangely, I feel rather intimate with it covering my skin, paling in comparison in colour. It feels as if it belongs there.

  Shifting my attention to refocus on the bed I am shocked to discover the blood gone and replaced by a single sheet of p
aper, no bigger than A5, with writing on it, a letter maybe. Picking it up with my now surprisingly clean hand I scan the words.

  My heart clenches along with the paper and all my insides come crashing down. My face drains of colour and I feel like death warmed up. I begin to suffocate; my breathing source has been cruelly taken from me. The spotlight begins to dim and the bed starts to shrink. I lose grip on the letter and it floats its way to the ground.

  My life seems bleak, trapped in a dark hellhole. The bed continues to diminish while the light grows fainter until nothing is left but a small speck of both. The letter hits the floor in time with the last shred of light fading altogether, leaving me in darkness, and with no indication of a future that I once dreamt of. I am empty once more.

  From out of nowhere, a sharp pain shoots through my abdomen…

  

  The pain from my dream startles me awake. Unconsciously, my arms go to wrap around my tummy as my protective instincts kick in. But what am I protecting?

  ‘Alex?’ I glance up to see Gareth’s crystal blue eyes staring at me with concern, his thumb caressing the palm of my hand.

  ‘I’m okay,’ I give him a reassuring smile. ‘Just cramp. I will be alright in a minute. Think I’ll stretch my legs, may help,’ and I go to stand up, reaching up to the ceiling, working out the chinks from my back.

  As I move about I can feel Gareth’s eyes staring at me, watching every move I make, no doubt trying to figure me out.

  I hope I didn’t talk in my sleep.

  ‘How are you feeling? Sleep well?’ I ask, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

  ‘Been better. A bit. Majority of the time I was watching you sleep.’ Heat creeps up my neck to the tip of my ears and I turn away in embarrassment. ‘You look beautiful when you sleep.’ He smiles affectionately, causing me to blush further.

  ‘Stop it. Any redder and the nurses may think something is up with me. I may be forced to join you in bed.’