by Becky Cairns
‘You won’t see me complaining,’ he winks and pulls back the corner of the bed sheet. ‘In fact, why don’t you just jump in now, saves on the testing.’
‘What has gotten into you lately?’
‘A bullet.’
The smile wipes from my face.
‘Don’t,’ I choke, emotion starting to well up again.
I have to turn my back on him; I can’t have him seeing the tears. Why am I such an emotional wreck? I’m not usually so easily reduced to tears. My arms go to comfort myself; they have no use for anything else at the moment.
‘I’m sorry Alex, I didn’t mean to upset you.’
‘Why do you have to make a joke of everything?’ I whisper with my back still turned, shaking with my poor attempt to keep my emotions in check.
‘It’s how I cope with things. It is either that or to say nothing at all.’
Turning back round to face him I snap, ‘I wish you’d do the latter.’
An uncomfortable silence settles and our eyes avoid contact. Quiet murmurs of people in the background fill the gap - nurses talking to patients, friends and families coming to visit their loved ones.
I can’t do this and I break the moment by randomly saying, ‘Two police officers came to speak to me.’
Blue, sparkling eyes snap back to mine. ‘When?’
‘While you were still unconscious after the operation.’ I stroll to the end of his bed, rest my hands on the rails and stare down at him. ‘Just regular procedure the nurse said.’ Gareth looks off to the side, staring at nothing in particular but frowning in concentration. ‘A Detective Chief Inspector West and Detective Sergeant Peters.’
‘Peters?’ he questions, eyes growing wide.
‘Yes?’
‘Tall, short, brown hair, pale blue eyes? Looked between mid-twenties, early thirties? An irritating little scroat who seemed to press all the right buttons to rile you?’
‘Yes, that’s him. Do you know the guy?’
‘Know the guy? I know him alright, more than he would like. He’s the corrupt officer.’
‘The corrupt officer?’ What is he going on abo…Oh. ‘You mean he’s the one that gave you all that information on…’
‘Yes.’
I walk over and sink back into the chair by the bed. ‘Guess that explains why he was eager to link the explosion to us, or you which is more likely the case.’
‘What do you mean?’
Looking up from my hands I see the frown back in place. ‘Five minutes after the ambulance took us to this hospital a 999 call was made to your apartment from a passer-by. Peters was hinting you and I had something to do with it, but thankfully DCI West was having none of it. He literally berated the Sergeant right in front of me. I think I may have steered them astray.’
‘I wouldn’t be so sure of that,’ Gareth mumbles.
‘Why?’
‘Derek Peters does not play by the rules. He is always getting a back hander to look the other way. The percentage of criminals on the street has gone up because of him. Peters is a right weasel. How he made it into the police force to begin with is anyone’s guess. Very few colleagues actually like him. I bet you anything West despises the man, hence coming down on him strong. Those that are his so-called “friends” are no doubt just like him.’
‘And how have you come to know him?’
‘Two years ago he tried setting up a mate of mine for possession and creating crystal meth. My mate was innocent, he didn’t go anywhere near the stuff, or any drugs for that matter, not since his brother died from an overdose. Anyway, Peters kept on harassing him constantly for the next couple of weeks, demanding a hefty payment to keep his silence or he’d organise a raid…’
‘But if your mate had nothing to hide why didn’t he just allow Peters to go ahead with his threat?’
‘My mate may not have been dabbling in the stuff, but it doesn’t mean it couldn’t be planted.’
‘And of course Peters threatened to do such if your mate didn’t cooperate.’
‘Exactly. Like I was saying, Peters continuously harassed, but it became too much for my mate to bear. He was a nervous character to begin with, but Peters drove him over the edge and one day my mate topped himself. Cut his wrists and bled to death in his bath.’
‘Christ!’ I gasp, and then quickly look around the ward to make sure I haven’t attracted attention. Phew, safe.
‘I was due to meet him the next day at his place, but when I got there his body was covered and being taken away in an ambulance. His sister was the one who called them. She found his cold body floating in the bathtub. Since then, I vowed to myself to make Peters’ life a living hell somehow and fortunately for me, a week later that “somehow” landed straight into my lap.’
‘Is this the somehow you were going on about at your safe house? Is this the thing you have hold over him?’
‘Yes. You see, after my mate’s death I was doing a bit of digging on Peters. Finding out bits of information from the local criminals, most have had dealings with him at some point or other. Everyone had a story to tell but nothing I could use, not until I met up with good old Dougie.’
Dougie. The number.
While Gareth carries on talking I search my pockets for the slip of paper.
‘Normally he would have been my first port of call seeing as he’s the one that tends to know everything that goes on in that area of London, but he was nowhere to be seen. If that is the case then it only means one thing; he has gone into hiding. Anyway, I finally managed to get hold of him and that is when he told me the juicy story.’
Got it.
With the slip of paper securely in my hand I learn forwards on my chair, teetering on the edge, eager to hear what Gareth has to say.
Dropping his voice pitch to a slight whisper as not to be overheard, causing me to lean even further in to hear, he carries on, ‘During that week I was gathering information, Peters decided to be a naughty little boy again. I don’t know all the particulars but enough to have a hold over him and the rest I bluff. He helped cover up a murder to save his own skin.’ Flipping heck! ‘Peters didn’t do it, but he was there when it happened.’
‘Why was he there in the first place?’
‘I think he was up to his old tricks again, demanding money to stay stum, but unlucky for him, lucky for me, he had bitten off more than he could chew and ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time. I think Dougie said it involved a drugs deal or something of the sort. At any rate, the ringleader somehow managed to get shot, died instantly. The next in charge took control of the situation and literally forced Peters to dig a grave then and there to dispose of the body. He had an ultimatum, either get rid of the deceased ringleader or be prepared to go in a grave himself. With no other outcome, he had to do what he was told.’
‘This is your hold over him?’
‘That, plus my bluff.’
‘And what’s that?’
Here, a cheeky smile widens his face as he says, ‘I am personally acquainted with the men he tried to blackmail. The first time I had words I told him all I knew and that if he ever tried to fit them up, or even myself for that matter, they would simply kill him. The expression on his face was priceless.’
I raise my eyebrows and my lips are being tugged into a smile. I must not laugh, I must not laugh.
‘I bet. And he hasn’t bothered them or you again? Or anyone else?’
‘Haven’t a clue about them or others, but in regards to myself he hasn’t a clue what my name is or where to find me, though I bet he has a pretty good idea now. Speaking of names, what did you tell the staff here?’
‘Oh, don’t worry about that. You are Gareth Brown. My husband,’ I say the last shyly.
‘Really? I like the sound of that. Though, I have to admit, I prefer Mrs Hill.’
‘It is only a cover story,’ I voice weakly and hold up my left hand to show a plain gold ring my mother gave to me, but he returns with a knowing demeanour.
&nb
sp; Changing the subject quickly, I hold out the piece of paper.
‘What’s this?’
‘It’s a number. I bumped into Dougie when I went back home…’
‘Why did you go back home?’
‘I needed to clean up,’ better not mention my little altercation with William. ‘Clean clothes etc. As I was saying, I bumped into Dougie and he handed me this.’ Gareth takes it from my hand, opens then reads. ‘Someone gave it to him. He doesn’t know who and he was unwilling to forgo further information. All he said is that the person who gave it to him wants you to have it and ring that number. It’s important.’
‘How important?’
‘Well, put it this way, Dougie willingly came to my area to hand it to me in person.’
‘Dougie hardly ever ventures far from the back streets; it’s too risky for him.’
‘Exactly.’
‘Must be serious then.’
‘Ah, isn’t this cosy.’
Our attention snaps towards the intruder who has just walked into the ward. DS Peters. Oh great.
‘Mrs Brown, good to see you again. Mr Brown, I’m glad you’re awake and looking on the road to recovery. I’m DS Peters…’
‘Does that stand for Detective Sergeant or Dog Shit?’ Gareth interrupts laying the boundaries immediately.
‘You should talk, looks like you’ve been in a lot of it recently,’ Peters retaliates.
Great, exactly what I need. Another ego bashing contest!
‘At least I wash it off afterwards. You appear to leave a trail wherever you go.’
‘Enough with the chit chat. I’ve come here to ask you some questions now I’ve been alerted to the news of your awakening.’
‘Questions or demands, Sergeant?’
‘I haven’t a clue what you are referring to.’
‘Do you need help jogging your memory? Remember a drug raid you tried to fit up? No? How about harassing someone to their death? Nothing? Surely you covering up a murder must ring some bells.’
‘Okay, okay, just keep your voice down will you.’
‘Why, you got something to hide? You’re the “by the book” kind of copper, aren’t you Peters? A stickler for sticking to the correct procedures.’
‘What are you getting at?’
‘I’m wise to your game, Sergeant. Just because I’m lying in a hospital bed, defenceless, you think you can finally get at me. Think again. What you did to my friend is something I will never forget.’
‘I didn’t touch him,’ Peter snarls. ‘If your friend couldn’t hack it then that was his problem. It’s not my fault he was weak.’
‘You condemned an innocent man…’
‘Innocent my arse, he was producing that stuff.’
‘That’s bullshit. He hadn’t been anywhere near drugs, especially not crystal meth, not for a good few years. He was squeaky clean.’
‘But he had been and that’s my point. He deserved to go down.’
‘And how did you come to that conclusion?’
‘Because it was his gear that killed my teenage sister.’
‘You what?’
‘You heard me.’
‘You got proof? There are a number of dealers walking the streets, why not one of them?’
‘My gut feeling tells me…’
‘Your gut! If you are not careful your gut will be feeling the force of my fist in a minute.’
Is everyone out to get each other? All they ever seem to have is a personal vendetta against one another! We just keep going round and round in circles and I am getting a horrible case of déjà vu.
‘What I don’t understand is why, now my mate no longer exists, you are still out for revenge. And also, why me? I’ve technically done nothing to earn your wrath.’
‘I’ll always be after druggies, it’s the highlight of my career, and as for you it is nothing in particular. I just hate you.’
‘Trust me, the feeling is mutual.’
‘Capturing the most wanted criminal in London would be a bonus. It will finally get me the recognition I deserve.’
‘Most wanted, I’m touched. Did you hear that Alex? They want me. Didn’t anyone ever tell you, Peters, that it is nice to feel wanted? Shame the same can’t be said about you. The only people who despise you more than us criminals are your colleagues. They’ll scrap this inquiry and you know it, so why don’t you just do us all a favour and bugger off!’ Gareth says the last in a slightly higher tenor, which, in normal circumstances would have been of regular speaking volume, but with the deathly quietness of the hospital, it was like an avalanche, causing me to jump at the sudden change.
‘Gentlemen!’ Nurse Harding scolds as she scuttles over to us. ‘I would like to remind you that you are in a hospital, not a playground.’ Turning her attention towards Peters she says, ‘I believe you’ve finished Sergeant. It is time for my patient to rest. I do not want him to become overtaxed as he is still recovering.’
Before Detective Sergeant Derek Peters could say another word he is being shooed away by the wonderful nurse. Got to thank her later, she’s a godsend.
‘Thank God that is over. Feel sorry for the poor sod losing his sister, but it still doesn’t excuse his behaviour. He’s still a creepy, corrupt copper that needs a swift kick up the…’
‘Yes, I think I get the picture Gareth.’
Suddenly grabbing hold of my hand, he urgently growls, ‘Promise me you’ll stay away from him. Peters is nothing but bad news. He’ll try anything to get a collar and I don’t want you going down for my mistakes. William was right about one thing. I am led by crime and always will be. It’s all I know and I have to admit, I am bloody good at it,’ he smirks. I can’t resist but to respond in kind.
This man is sensational. Under the rough exterior is a heart of gold; it is just temporarily misplaced at times. I wonder what he’d be like as a husband. Even a father with two little Gareth’s running around at his feet, demanding his attention all the time, while I look on from the window above, rocking our little girl to sleep…Whoa! Calm down Alex, jumping ahead a bit there aren’t you? He’s still lying in a hospital bed recovering and you’ve got him married, fathered and decorated in a neatly picturesque image.
I think I need a bit of me time.
‘I’m just going to take a breather,’ I say abruptly, going to stand, my hand slipping from his. ‘I have never been very good in hospitals.’
Kissing him on the cheek I turn to head out, but after taking a single step my head begins to spin and I stumble.
‘Alex!’ Gareth squeaks from behind.
Righting myself I look back saying, ‘I’m okay. Like I said, I don’t like hospitals. All I need is a bit of air.’
‘Are you sure? Shouldn’t you go and see the nurse or something, just to be on the safe side?’
‘I told you, I’m fine…’
‘For me will you? To ease my mind?’
I’m about to reply but before I have chance he spots Nurse Harding and calls out.
‘Nurse Harding!’
‘Yes Mr Brown?’
‘My…wife isn’t feeling too good, I was wondering if you could check her over or something.’
‘What seems to be the problem?’
‘She almost fainted.’
‘Fainted?’ and she gazes my way with a pointed look as if to say ‘again?’
‘Yeah she stumbled. So could you?’
‘Well I’m free at the moment if you want to do it now. It’ll only take a second,’ she smiles sweetly.
Fine. I’ll let you check me over if it will shut you up and leave me alone.
I smile tersely in return. ‘Thanks, as long as it’s no trouble.’
‘None at all. If you’d like to follow me, we may proceed.’
Better get it over with I suppose.
Taking a deep breath, I fill my lungs with fresh air, sweeping all my troubles under the carpet until I can face them again. As I perch on a bench in a little garden the
y have here at the hospital, I take this time to look forward, to a future I never thought possible. At the
Between two to three days she said. In two or three days I shall know. But do I want to know? I could have opted for a pee stick test, but I went for the blood, why? Can detect earlier I suppose and Nurse Harding wanted to make sure nothing else was behind my fainting. I guess only time will tell.
I knew one day this would happen, hoped it would anyway and now it has, I am frightened. I never imagined it to come about like this. It’s a completely dysfunctional way to start a new beginning. What am I to do if…no, can’t think that far ahead. I just need to wait, be patient, only then will I know how to proceed.
Peering around my surroundings, I see many people continuously going in and out of the hospital entrance. The automated doors hardly get a chance to close before someone else passes through. A couple of nurses in blue come rushing out, frantically searching the premises, then all is calm as they find their target, guiding them back indoors with fits of protest.
Not long after one commotion disperses, another commences when an ambulance screeches to a halt and a few paramedics in green wheel a stretcher out carrying, what appears to be a rather bloodied man with a pole sticking out of his leg.
Nasty! I wouldn’t want to be in his position right now. I wonder how he got into that mess in the first place. But it is just like everything else. One minute you are on top of the world, the next it comes crashing down around you.
My mind can’t help but drift back to the dream from earlier. What could be the meaning behind it? What did that letter say? Who could it be from? And what’s with the disappearing blood, bed and light? What could they represent? Does any of it have meaning or was it only a silly little nightmare with no foundation? I know it is going to plague me whatever it is.
Tilting my head up to the sky I take a deep breath of the crisp air. The chill hits my lungs, stabbing my chest with its intensity. What I wouldn’t give to have my brother here with me now. He’d know what to do, he always did. God I miss him.
Even as I sit here a tear is brought to my eye as I remember the way he used to joke about difficult situations followed swiftly with hug and the ruffling of my hair. It didn’t matter how upset I was Thomas never failed to bring a smile to my face.