The Girl with the Gold Bikini

by Lisa Walker

  ‘Yeah, we’d better move.’ He seems to notice the music for the first time. ‘What’s with Bob Marley?’

  ‘It’s sexy music for sharks.’ I explain the concept.

  ‘Huh. They have strange tastes, don’t they? Not sure ‘Rock Your Body’ would make it onto my sexy music list. How about you?’

  ‘Probably not.’ I don’t really want to talk about sexy music with Rosco. Not unless he means it.

  As we walk back towards the main entrance, my legs are like spaghetti. I run my hand along the walls to steady myself. If Rosco notices, he doesn’t say anything. I suppose I’m just one crisis after another as far as he’s concerned.

  There’s no sign of police or security, but we keep to the shadows.

  As we pass the penguin enclosure we hear footsteps. Rosco pulls me around the corner and we duck behind a wall. A security guard with a flashlight walks past. In front of us, a sign is illuminated in the glow of the night light.

  When a pair of penguins reunite after a separation they stand breast to breast, heads thrown back, singing loudly with outstretched flippers trembling.

  I read it twice while we crouch there. A rush of emotion blocks my throat at the thought of those little penguins in love. It gives me a warm glow—the flipper-trembling part, especially. I’m clearly a little overwrought after my swim with the sharks. The warmth of Rosco’s shoulder next to mine and the smell of his sweatshirt around me isn’t helping.

  We stand up cautiously as the security guard passes.

  ‘Romantic little critters, aren’t they?’ says Rosco, glancing at the penguins.

  I glare at him. He sounds so offhand. ‘That’s like saying that Romeo and Juliet were romantic little critters.’

  ‘Well …’ he looks puzzled, ‘they were, right?’

  He doesn’t understand that a wildly romantic moment has completely passed him by. ‘Never mind. It’s stupid.’

  I notice he doesn’t contradict me.

  A gate near the staff change room has been left unlocked. Outside, in the enormous car park, my car stands forlornly next to Rosco’s.

  ‘So, bye. Thanks for coming.’ I sound like a hostess at a party. Let’s do it again some time. Your shark pool, or mine?

  Rosco fiddles with his car keys. ‘You can give me back the sweatshirt later.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  ‘I don’t suppose you’ve got any idea why the woman downstairs from me thinks I’m a terrorist suspect?’

  ‘No.’ I hope I sound surprised. ‘Why, what’s she doing?’

  ‘She’s always watching me through her window. I think she’s keeping notes on my movements. Yesterday she took a photo of me as I came in with my shopping. Hope I don’t get raided.’

  I shuffle my feet—confession time. ‘I may have accidentally given her the idea that ASIO is keeping an eye on you.’

  Rosco gazes at me for some time. ‘Why? No, never mind.’ He holds up his hand as I open my mouth. He sighs. ‘You are so infuriating sometimes.’

  ‘I’ve had a hard night. If you want to pick a fight can we do it some other time?’

  Rosco continues as if I hadn’t spoken, gazing over my shoulder at Ocean World. ‘But I think you could be a bloody good PI if you stick with it.’

  ‘Oh.’ I wait, but nothing more is forthcoming. I open my door. ‘Well, I guess I’d better …’ Climbing into my car, I start the engine.

  Rosco leans over and looks in the window. ‘Are you feeling better?’

  I stare at him.

  ‘Your message. You said you weren’t feeling well.’

  ‘Oh. Yes. I am.’

  ‘Are you still working for me?’

  I gnaw my lip. ‘I don’t … I’m not sure.’

  ‘I’m prepared to forget the incident in the cupboard the other day if you want to come back.’

  It’s not exactly an effusive invitation. I suppose that hiding in your boss’s cupboard is an employee performance issue. I stare at him for a while. ‘Thanks. I’ll give it some thought.’

  ‘Your call.’ He stands up.

  As I drive away I see him standing next to his car, watching me go. I almost turn around and go back, but then I think of the expression on his face when I came out of his cupboard and I keep going. Maybe it’s time to accept that Rosco and I are not a good combination.

  Jacq and Nan are in bed when I get home. I lock the front door and go and stand under the shower until the water runs cold.

  Wrapping a dressing gown around me, I pad to the phone. Now for the tricky bit. I’ve decided an anonymous message is the way to go. Picking up a tea towel to muffle my voice, I call the police.

  ‘Ferris here.’

  Damn. I’d been hoping for one of his underlings. He sounds like he’s had a bad day. He always does though. ‘I’ve got a tip-off into Ajay’s disappearance,’ I murmur in a deep voice. ‘Madeleine, I don’t know her second name. She’s a yoga instructor at Lighthouse Bliss. She’s got red hair and she wears lycra tights. You should talk to her.’ Before he can ask me any questions I slam the phone down.

  I check the locks before I go to bed and lie there thinking for a long time. It’s not only the idea that Madeleine is out there, prowling around, that stops me sleeping. There are parallels between her situation and mine. There’s been nothing but frustration since I started with Rosco. Childhood friendship is not a good basis for a professional relationship. And the Spark that may or may not exist between us has only complicated things. Rosco’s not going to change and neither am I. We’re always going to be butting heads. By midnight, I’ve made my mind up.

  Crawling out of bed again, I dial. ‘Welcome to Gold Star Investigations …’ I wait for the beep. ‘Hi, Olivia here.’ I keep my voice cheerful and matter-of-fact. ‘Thanks for asking me back, but I don’t think it’s working out. I’ve decided to move on. Hope it all goes well for you. Anyway, lots to do, busy, busy, busy.’ I put the phone down and shuffle back to bed.

  Bunching my pillow, I press my face into it. But despite my tiredness I still can’t sleep. Every time I drift off I feel the shark against my leg. I toss and turn, jumping at every sound, changing sides every five minutes. My clock clicks as it turns over to two am.

  40

  My tail slices the water. Through the blue, a dolphin approaches. I recognise her wise black eyes. Her sonar clicks penetrate my brain. ‘Change from within. Change from within.’ Bubbles follow her tail as she vanishes into the indigo depths.

  I wake to a quiet house—Jacq has already gone to holiday program and Nan is out somewhere. A dream lingers at the edge of my consciousness. Bubbles. That’s all I can remember.

  I sit up. What am I going to do about Madeleine? Nothing without a cup of coffee.

  Nan has left the Gold Coast Times on the kitchen table. Brandon’s done his job. The front page shows the dolphin leaping, the banner behind it. Police Seek Protesters, reads the headline.

  Bizarrely, the opening beat of ‘Push it’ starts on the radio. I slam my finger on the power button. I never want to listen to any of those songs again. Something occurs to me. Luna. I have to tell her about Madeleine. Maybe she’ll know what to do. I try her phone, but it goes straight to message.

  Pulling on a T-shirt and pants, I run out the door.

  Downtown, cleaners are sweeping away the debris of the night. Seiji’s Outback Bar is dark, but the door is ajar. I push it and call into the shadows. ‘Luna?’

  There’s scuffling in the darkness. I blink, getting used to the gloom. A figure is sitting on a chair in the corner. I step closer.

  ‘Ajay?’ I run towards him. He is gagged with a koala-print tea towel and his hands are tied behind his back.

  ‘Mmm arrgra mmm.’ His voice is urgent, but unintelligible.

  ‘What?’

  ‘He said Madeleine, I think.’

  I turn.

  Madeleine stands next to me. She looks different to normal, like she’s had a hard night. Her lipstick is smudged, her fake eyelashes are shed
ding, her red hair is dishevelled and her zebra-print tights are dirty. ‘We meet again.’ She doesn’t look pleased to see me. ‘Still poking around, are you? How was your swim with the sharks?’

  I glare at her.

  ‘Shh grrr nng,’ says Ajay.

  ‘What?’

  ‘He says I’ve got a knife.’ Madeleine’s hands drop to her sides and I see something shiny.

  I stare at her and lick my lips. ‘You don’t need that. We’re all friends here—all yoga teachers.’

  Madeleine laughs. ‘That fluffy koala over there is more of a yoga teacher than you are.’

  I open my mouth to protest but shut it again. The main thing is to keep Madeleine talking. ‘I can do headstands. I bet that koala can’t do headstands.’

  Madeleine raises her eyebrows. ‘Really? Go on, let’s see one.’

  ‘Ss a ass aa,’ says Ajay.

  ‘Who asked you?’ Madeleine’s mouth twitches as she turns to him. ‘I know it’s called sirsasana. Just shut up and watch. I’ll show you how to run a yoga class.’ She looks back at me. ‘Headstand.’

  I have no strategy, but it’s best to go with the flow. If Madeleine wants me to do a headstand, I’ll do a headstand. I kneel on the ground, cup my head in my hands and slowly lift my legs into the air. I keep my face pointed towards Madeleine and Ajay so I can see what they’re up to.

  ‘Nng a ayy ack.’

  Madeleine glares at Ajay. ‘Who’s running this class?’ She looks at me. ‘Keep a straight back.’

  It’s the first time I’ve done a headstand away from the wall. My feet paw at the air, my arms strain to support me.

  ‘Salamba sirsasana activates the circulation, endocrine and lymphatic systems.’ Madeleine glances at Ajay. ‘See, I know my stuff.’

  I wobble, stretching my legs higher, making my back as straight as it will go. I’m doing a headstand without the wall. My signature move. It’s a miracle only I can appreciate.

  ‘Oog.’ Despite being tied and gagged Ajay still thinks he’s the lead yoga instructor.

  ‘Not bad,’ Madeleine concedes. ‘Oog is stretching it.’ Her voice changes to a soothing chant. ‘The headstand tones and cleans. It encourages deep breathing, which gently massages the internal organs. Fresh warm blood invigorates the cells.’ She pauses. ‘Now a dropback.’

  A dropback? I don’t even know what that means. I’m exceeding expectations already.

  ‘Oooowa eg acken.’

  Madeleine glares at Ajay. ‘I can run a yoga class without your assistance. I’m the lead instructor at Lighthouse Bliss now. Lots of people have told me they like my classes better than yours. My adjustments are more precise.’

  His eyebrows twitch.

  ‘Lower your legs into a backbend,’ Madeleine snaps.

  ‘What?’ I wobble in my headstand.

  ‘Do it,’ says Madeleine. ‘The headstand dropback is an excellent shoulder stretch.’

  ‘Oog,’ agrees Ajay.

  ‘Shut up,’ says Madeleine. ‘I’m the rock-star yoga instructor now.’ She glares at him. ‘You’re not even that great. You’ve got inflexible hips.’ She smirks. ‘Your eka pada sirsasana’s are a total joke. Everyone thinks so.’ She turns to me. ‘Don’t they?’

  It seems best to agree. ‘Yes. Total joke,’ I mumble. It’s hard to talk in this position.

  ‘See?’ says Madeleine to Ajay. She obviously believes this is a crushing blow and, in fact, it does shut him up.

  I wobble again.

  ‘Mr Iyengar says you don’t stop trying just because you’re not perfect,’ Madeleine murmurs. I’m not sure if she’s speaking to me or to herself. ‘Dropback,’ she commands.

  Bending my knees, I lower them towards the floor. My back gives a clicking sound. It’s not going to work. I try to bring my knees back up again but I’m too far advanced. My feet drop to the floor, my neck twists and I scream and collapse.

  ‘You’re not trying. Yoga requires total commitment.’ The knife shines in her hand as she steps towards me.

  ‘No, no, I’m trying,’ I squeak, jumping up into warrior pose.

  ‘Ah, warrior pose. Good choice. Warrior pose strengthens the legs and opens the chest and shoulders.’

  ‘Vv baa aa ung.’

  Madeleine glares at Ajay. ‘I know it’s virabhadrasana one. You think I couldn’t speak in Sanskrit if I wanted to? You think I haven’t studied Sanskrit?’

  Ajay lifts his shoulders.

  Madeleine’s nostrils pinch and she clenches her jaw.

  ‘Eee ung il aa, ee ow ack.’

  Madeleine gives a high-pitched wail. ‘You breathe in the silver and blow out the black yourself, jerk.’ She lunges towards him.

  Jumping out of my warrior pose like Rakesh, the Bruce Lee yogi, I leap into action.

  41

  ‘Aaargh,’ I scream as I race towards Madeleine. She half-turns, her red hair swinging out from her face.

  With a leap—unlike Rakesh, mine is neither high nor catlike—I land on her back. My superior weight sends her tumbling to the ground, the knife still in her hand. We roll around on the carpet, then she throws me off as if I’m as light as a yoga blanket.

  ‘Egg acck iffe,’ yells Ajay.

  I don’t have time to think about what that means as Madeleine flings me onto my back. I heave and struggle, but her arms are like steel cables. All those forearm balances have really paid off.

  The door bangs and someone comes in. It’s Luna, wearing a kind of beige mini-kaftan, which can only be made of hemp.

  ‘Drop the knife,’ she shouts.

  Madeleine lets go of me and stands up. ‘Keep it down, Luna. It’s just a souvenir butter knife.’ She holds it up. It is indeed a harmless blunt little knife with a kangaroo picture on the handle. ‘I was just trying to get Ajay to shut up for a bit. He’s been driving me crazy. It didn’t work though.’

  ‘Don’t trust her,’ I call to Luna. ‘She threw me in the shark tank.’

  Luna looks at Madeleine. ‘The Ocean World shark tank?’

  Madeleine nods.

  ‘Awesome. Swimming with sharks is really empowering, isn’t it?’ says Luna.

  I blink, reliving the rasp of sandpaper against my leg. ‘What?’

  ‘Those sharks are big softies,’ says Madeleine. ‘They’re wobbegongs. They’re like labradors; they don’t bite and they love a pat.’

  ‘Is that why they were circling me?’

  ‘Yeah, the keepers feed them by hand. You didn’t think I was trying to kill you, did you?’ says Madeleine.

  ‘Um, yeah. You threw me in a shark pool.’

  ‘I just wanted you to back off,’ says Madeleine. ‘Quit chasing Ajay.’

  ‘You could have sent me a text,’ I say.

  ‘You’re more likely to be killed by a falling coconut than one of those sharks. That’s right, isn’t it, Luna?’

  ‘Yeah, they’re cool. I would have loved to go for a night swim with the sharks,’ says Luna. ‘Next time, invite me.’

  ‘No hard feelings?’ Madeleine smiles at me, displaying her perfect white teeth. ‘People pay big money to dive with the sharks, you know. You got it for free.’

  Her chutzpah is incredible. I almost smile back.

  ‘I think the cops might be on the way,’ says Luna. ‘I saw them stuck in traffic out on Cavill Avenue.’

  ‘The cops?’ Madeleine pales. She glances at Ajay. ‘I suppose I’d better let him go.’

  ‘Good thinking.’ Luna does a double-take. ‘What are you doing with him anyway? And why are you here in Zander’s bar?’

  ‘I had to move Ajay from my place.’ Madeleine glances at me. ‘I figured you’d send them after me. I didn’t think there’d be anyone here in the bar at this time of day.’

  This doesn’t answer the main question, which is what exactly Madeleine is doing with Ajay, but there doesn’t seem to be any time for that now.

  Madeleine unties Ajay and he stands up, glaring at her and massaging his wrists. ‘You’re fired,’ he sa
ys.

  Madeleine glares back at him. ‘What a surprise.’

  ‘I’ll be pressing charges,’ he says.

  ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea,’ says Luna.

  Ajay turns to her.

  ‘Brandon filled me in on your starring role in The Mystic,’ she says. ‘That was naughty of you, making all that stuff up about the guru.’

  Ajay’s face blanches.

  There’s a crash and the door swings open. Three cops run in, Dan Ferris in the lead. Brooklyn, in a midriff-baring rainbow singlet and voluminous fisherman pants, is behind them. She meets Madeleine’s eyes and shrugs, while the cops are all brought up short by the sight of the yoga guru.

  ‘Ajay?’ says Dan. ‘Where have you been?’

  Ajay’s eyes flicker to Madeleine and then to Brooklyn and on to Luna. He hesitates. ‘I’ve been on retreat in India. Just got back. Sorry if there’s been a misunderstanding.’

  Dan looks deeply suspicious. ‘You were reported missing.’

  ‘I was on an ashram. There was no reception,’ says Ajay.

  ‘Right.’ Dan sniffs. He seems disappointed not to have a murder case on his hands. He pulls out his notebook and flicks through it. ‘There are a few other issues. The rat incident at Lighthouse Bliss and the Ocean World protest last night.’ He looks between all of us. ‘Can you provide any information on these?’

  Luna and I stare at Brooklyn and Madeleine. I’m pretty sure Luna’s thinking the same thing I am. Should we tell him about their role in the rat incident?

  Brooklyn and Madeleine stare back at us. Shall we tell him about your role in the Ocean World incident? their eyes flash.

  A sizzle of energy passes between the four of us. Luna and Brooklyn hold each other’s gaze. A bit of extra sizzle seems to be going on there.

  Eventually we all shake our heads.

  ‘Really?’ Dan glances from one to the other of us. ‘Nothing to add … ladies?’

  ‘No.’ We all speak together.

  His gaze comes back to me. ‘We have caller ID, you know.’

  I flush. I should have thought of that. What kind of idiot makes anonymous phone calls from their home phone?