Dreams Unspoken

by R. J. Layer

  He practically ran to his truck. Jo headed back to the shed, but only to close the door. She then made a beeline up to the house. Inside she ran a hot bath, grabbed a beer and sat in the steaming water, hoping it would relieve some of the tightness in her muscles.

  After the bath, she put on cut-off sweats and a comfortable old T-shirt. With a fresh beer in hand, she started to survey the mess. If her mother saw this place, she would probably suffer a heart attack. She had always been after Jo to clean and straighten her room. She gathered up the dirty clothes scattered around and took them to the laundry room off the kitchen.

  In the kitchen she opened a box and pulled out pots and pans to put in a cabinet by the stove. She carried the empty box to the garage and saw her computer sitting on the workbench. Now that the cable lines were in, there wasn’t any reason for her not to get reconnected. After finishing laundry and a frozen dinner, she sat down with a beer at the computer in the nearly empty room and logged into her email. She sipped as the page loaded, secretly hoping there might be something in her mail box from a particular pretty realtor. There were dozens and dozens of new ones. She scanned the list, junk, junk and more junk. There was also one from Cecile that was a week old.

  “Hey, woman! Hope you’re settlin’ into your new digs up north there. I have to say, cruisin’ the bar just ain’t the same without my bitchin’ blonde babe.” Jo laughed. “I’m ready to visit soon as you say the word. Oh, and I ran into your little cutie last weekend. She said you all spent some quality time together before you left. I’m tryin’ to imagine what ‘quality’ means. The gal sure seems to like you a lot, darlin’, so maybe I’ll bring her along when I come a visitin’. Hope you got a good hot spot to take me to, to make my comin’ worthwhile—wink! Okay, maybe we’ll talk soon. Love and miss ya darlin’, Cecile.”

  Jo smiled as she closed the email and shut the computer down. Cecile could be so crass sometimes. She wondered how she always managed to get any woman she pursued to sleep with her. No, scratch that. She didn’t want to find out how. She didn’t need the complication of a woman in her life.

  She navigated the obstacle course back to the kitchen for another beer and went out back on the deck to watch as the sun slowly slipped behind the landscape. The wash of color this evening was as intoxicating as the country air. Her mind wandered, her eyes drifting closed. She wondered whether she’d ever see Maria West again. She couldn’t put her finger on what it was about the woman that attracted her, but there was no denying it, there was something.

  She decided to crash early, settling down for another night on her makeshift bed in the living room—only to wake in the early morning dreaming of Maria. And aching with desire.

  Wanting to clear her head, she showered before the coffee was even ready. The shower spray against her head helped to remind her that there wasn’t a place in her life for any woman, and she certainly wasn’t about to let one into her heart. Especially a very straight, married one.

  Chapter Seven

  Life at the farm slowly fell into a routine. She acquired a couple of boarders, including one whose owners were paying for jump training. The situation between her and her parents, on the other hand, remained status quo. Jo still gave it everything she had, visiting every Sunday.

  Two weeks into July, Tucker waved her down before she made it around the circular drive on her way to the feed store.

  “You probably don’t want to hear this, but we need to invest a little money in some tools.”

  “What kind of tools? The tool shed is full of them.”

  He cocked his head. “Turn-of-the-twenty-first-century tools.” She sighed. “A hammer and nails just isn’t workin’ on the fence boards. That horse we took in a few weeks back is a head scratcher, an’ every time he gets to rubbin’ his head on the fence he’s knockin’ boards loose. If I don’t catch ‘em quick enough, I’m afraid the jumper we’re boardin’ is gonna head for the hills.”

  “What do you need, Tucker?”

  “A decent cordless drill and some very long construction screws.” She pursed her lips. “Ah, I know, you’re gonna tell me to make do with the hammer an’ nails like my pops does, right?”

  She dug a small notepad and pen out of the console. “Write down exactly what it is you want.” She handed them out the window. “And tell me where in town’s the best place to get them, please.”

  “It’s called Burton’s Hardware, and it’s in the shopping center on Canal,” he said as he wrote. “Can you read my scrawl?” He handed the pen and pad back to her.

  “Sure. Now what if I can’t find these at that hardware store? You going to be around in the barn so I can call you?”

  “I can be for a few more hours, but just ask for Ernie, he’ll fix you up.”

  She checked the dash clock. “Got it, I should be back by lunchtime.”

  He headed toward the barn, waving a hand over his head.

  Jo drove to the hardware store, looked up Ernie and had her list complete in no time. On her way to the checkout she heard a familiar voice in the next aisle. She stopped and listened to be sure. When she made her way around the end of the aisle, her heart missed a beat, fluttering at the sight of Maria West.

  She was talking on her cell and she sounded frustrated. “Look, tell him I’ll get back to him this afternoon with the information.” Her tone softened. “Thanks, Karen.” Snapping the phone closed, she shook her head and mumbled, “Idiot.”

  Jo moved down the aisle. “Excuse me, ma’am.”

  Maria spun around, her stern expression dissolving in an instant. She smiled warmly. “Jo Marchal.” She gazed intently at Jo. “What do cowgirls shop for in hardware stores?” Jo offered a look at the boxes tucked under her arm. “That looks like pretty serious work.”

  Jo shrugged. “Not for me.” She looked at the window shades and blinds where Maria was standing. “And what do realtors shop for in hardware stores?”

  The delight on Maria’s face disappeared. “New window blinds for Matt’s room.”

  Jo didn’t understand why shopping for something for her son would be upsetting for her. From what she’d observed, Maria adored her son completely. The love in Maria’s eyes when she looked at Matt was clear.

  “Well, good luck with your window shopping.”

  Maria caught her pun and chuckled, and Jo remembered how good it felt to be able to make Maria laugh. When she started to turn, Maria touched her forearm. The simple contact froze her in place. As Jo’s eyes studied the soft, brown fingers resting on her forearm, Maria pulled them away.

  Maria’s voice was soft as a spring breeze when she said, “I was going to have a bite of lunch next door at Cate’s Diner when I finish here. Would you like to join me, or do you have to rush back with your hardware?”

  Jo held back the broad grin she was dying to show. “Lunch sounds like a great idea.”

  “Maybe you could go ahead and get us a seat before it gets too crowded.”

  Jo’s stomach flipped and flopped. “Right, I’ll just…uh,” she nodded, “get us a seat.”

  Maria smiled. “I shouldn’t be too long.”

  Jo’s head was somewhere in the clouds when she checked out, tossed her purchases in the truck, called Tucker to say she’d be delayed and rushed into the diner. She couldn’t believe her luck in running into Maria. What were the chances? She’d had another dream about her just a few nights ago. She’d awakened feeling anxious—as if something were about to happen. Of course it wouldn’t, but that didn’t stop her from seeing herself with Maria “that way” in her dreams.

  Maria couldn’t tear her eyes away as she watched Jo walk out of sight. There was something about the strong and quiet woman. Maybe she was just a little bit envious of the way Jo walked so confidently. Then again maybe it was because she looked so hot in her snug, worn jeans. Oh my heavens! She took a deep breath and forced herself to finish her task, excited by the thought of joining the cowgirl for lunch.

  Jo was seated in a back booth and
stood when she entered.

  “Mission accomplished?”

  Maria nodded as the waitress appeared.

  Once she’d left with their orders, Jo asked, “So…are you redecorating your son’s room?”

  Maria blinked, rapidly trying to stave off tears.

  Jo leaned toward her over the table.

  “Maria, I’m sorry if I said something to upset you.”

  She shook her head and wiped at the tears that escaped down her cheeks. She closed her eyes briefly, took a long deep breath, then fixed her gaze on Jo. She tried at what she hoped was a genuine smile.

  “Running into you today has been the high point of my week.”

  “Wow! If I’m the high point of your week,” Jo placed her hands over her heart, “things must be pretty bad. But on a positive note I’m glad to be on the top of someone’s list as opposed to the bottom.” She gave Maria a mischievous smile.

  “I didn’t mean—”

  “I know what you mean. I’m flattered.” Jo gave her hand a quick pat. “If you need to talk, I can listen. Mind you, I probably can’t do much more than listen, but I can do that pretty darn good.”

  “You barely know me. Why would you want me to burden you with my troubles?”

  The deep sadness in Maria’s eyes was evident to Jo.

  “First of all, it’s not a burden to simply listen. Secondly, someone with a pretty smile like you have shouldn’t be carrying around anything that keeps you from smiling.”

  “You surely don’t want to hear about the dysfunction in my family.”

  “If you want or need to talk about it, then I do,” Jo said in earnest.

  And so Maria started talking. “Matt threw a tantrum two nights ago, which is why I’m buying new window blinds. It caught me off guard, and then Jack threw his own fit in response.” Maria’s eyes continued to mist. “My husband has had a difficult time accepting our son’s disability.”

  It was heartbreaking for Jo to think that anyone couldn’t love the innocent child she’d met.

  “He insists that Matt be placed somewhere so we don’t have to be burdened with his care. And it seems lately that our arguments are happening more frequently.”

  Jo was angry at this man she’d never met for not wanting to raise his own son—his own flesh and blood.

  Maria dug in her purse for a tissue. “I don’t know what’s going on with Matt that’s causing him to have these fits recently.” She dabbed at her eyes and blew her nose. “The doctor doesn’t have any ideas about it either.”

  Jo wanted to hold Maria and tell her things would be okay, but she had no way of knowing if they would. “If you ever need a peaceful, quiet place to relax, stop out at the farm. With or without your son, you’re always welcome.”

  Maria gave a weak smile. “Thank you, but I wouldn’t think of imposing.”

  Jo held her gaze. “You wouldn’t be imposing. And I offered because sometimes the quiet out in the country can be very soothing—therapeutic even.”

  She followed Maria out to her car. “Thanks for the lunch invite. I enjoyed it.”

  “Thank you for listening to my woes.”

  “And I mean it. If you ever need an escape, stop out at the farm.”

  “Thanks, but I don’t think—”

  “Don’t think you could take advantage of my hospitality.” She hooked her thumbs in her pockets and continued in a drawl. “Shucks, ma’am, if you’re worried ‘bout that, well, we’ll put you to work.”

  Maria narrowed her eyes. “Work?”

  “Heck yeah! Like my least favorite job…mucking out the stalls.” When she grinned, Maria laughed.

  Maria touched her arm again. “You are such an entertaining woman, Jo Marchal.”

  That touch scrambled Jo’s nerves. “I…I try.” She shrugged. “The invite stands, minus the work, anytime you want.”

  Maria gave her arm a squeeze. She also gave Jo a smile so warm she felt it to her toes.

  Back at the farm, Tucker rambled on about a call he had taken, but Jo’s mind was so far away she couldn’t wrap her head around what he was saying. Maria consumed her thoughts.

  “Tucker,” she interrupted, “could you please handle it for me?”

  He bounced around. “Sure, yeah, sure I’ll take care of it.” He zipped off to the tack room.

  When she went in to get her saddle, he was talking excitedly on the phone. She trotted Cobalt a short distance before nudging him to gallop. Riding had always been her escape and the best way to clear her head. And she desperately needed to clear her head of Maria West. She had no business thinking of her in a romantic way. She finally returned to the barn an hour later and found Tucker dancing with excitement. She sat so he could share his news.

  “Somebody with big bucks bought a large parcel of land on the south side of the lake and got permission from the reserve people to establish some riding trails. The group that bought the land intends to offer horseback riding and requested that we, or I mean you, handle the training of the horses for trail riding since the reserve backs up to your farm.” He was bubbling over with enthusiasm.

  “I haven’t doubted for a minute you could run this place, Tucker.” She gave his shoulder a pat.

  “If they agree to what I’m going to propose, we should make some good money on the deal. With your okay, that is.”

  “You run with this, I trust your vision. You make us some added income and we’ll talk bonus for you.”

  * * *

  Jo headed into the house Saturday evening as Tucker kicked up dust on his way out. The temperature was hovering near ninety and all Jo wanted was a cool shower and a cold beer. Before she got to the fridge, though, she heard tires on the gravel. She wondered what Tucker had forgotten. At the front door she saw the sheriff’s car, sighed deeply and stepped out onto the porch. Kate approached carrying a brown paper bag, then stopped and propped her foot on the bottom step with the bag resting on her thigh.

  “Hi!”

  Jo leaned against the porch post. “You’re very persistent, I’ll give you that, Deputy Tyler.”

  “We’re real hospitable around here.”

  “Obviously.” Jo nodded. “What’s in the bag?”

  When Kate lifted the bag, Jo could see the oily spots forming on the brown paper. “Only the best barbecued ribs you’ll ever taste.”

  Jo took the offering and caught a whiff of the contents. Her mouth watered.

  “I figure you have to eat. Everybody does, and if I couldn’t get you to join me out somewhere for dinner, I’d bring dinner to you.”

  “That’s very thoughtful. Thanks.”

  “No problem.” Kate’s hand fidgeted on the railing.

  Jo resigned herself to company. “Come on in, but I have to warn you the place isn’t quite put together yet.”

  “Wow! That’s an understatement,” Kate said as they entered.

  Jo laughed. Kate Tyler always looked as sharp as a razor’s edge, so sharp that Jo figured she lived a neat and controlled life. The chaos in the house must be causing her to itch.

  In the kitchen she set the bag on the island and went about opening boxes, looking for plates and utensils.

  “What do you need? I think I remembered everything.” Kate unloaded the bag.

  “Oh, plates…” Jo flipped open another box and dug deep. “And maybe a fork or two.” When she pulled her hands from the box, pieces of packing foam scattered everywhere. “Success.” She lifted her hands, each of them with a plate which she took to the sink and rinsed thoroughly.

  “They did give us plastic silverware.”

  Jo finished drying the plates. “Great.” She placed them on the counter. “What can I get you to drink?” She opened the fridge. “I’ve got beer and water and more beer than water.”

  “What kind of beer?”

  “Light, of course. I don’t waste my time with the full-bodied stuff.” She patted her flat stomach. “Have to watch my figure, you know.”

  Kate’s eyes traveled
up and down Jo’s body and when she met Jo’s eyes, she blushed. “A beer sounds good.”

  She uncapped two bottles. “I’ll be right back.”

  She grabbed a clean T-shirt off the pile folded neatly on the boxes outside the bathroom. She could smell the day’s work on herself as she pulled the sweaty shirt over her head. She wasn’t interested in impressing Kate, but she didn’t want to repulse her either. Back in the kitchen she noted that Kate’s beer was half gone and she seemed more relaxed.

  “You didn’t have to dress for dinner on my account.”

  Jo took a gulp of beer. “Oh this old thing.” She pulled at the hem of her blue shirt.

  While they ate, Kate asked about her move to Ohio, which she answered without giving up too much information. Heck, Kate was a cop. If she wanted to know about her, Jo didn’t doubt she had resources to find out. Jo didn’t have any trouble switching the conversation back around, though. Kate seemed to enjoy talking about law enforcement and how she got where she was. There was something likeable about her. Perhaps the conviction with which she spoke about her career and the fact that she didn’t refer to it as a job.

  Jo decided that maybe she had herself a new friend. After dinner she put on coffee while Kate cleared the counter. They had their coffee on the back deck and watched as the sun set over the horizon.

  “It’s beautiful out here.”

  Jo inhaled deeply. “Yep, about as close as you can get to heaven, I imagine.”

  When the coffee was gone, Jo walked Kate to the cruiser.

  “Thanks again for dinner. It was definitely some of the best barbeque I’ve ever had.”

  “Maybe we can do it again.”

  “Maybe,” Jo smiled. “You never know. Maybe I’ll be able to get out of here one of these days and actually go somewhere.”

  “I’d like that.”

  Jo stepped back. “Well, goodnight.”

  Kate pulled open the car door. “Night, Jo.”

  Sunday was like all the ones before it. Jo returned to the farm feeling sad about her dad’s declining health and beaten down by another unsuccessful attempt to fix what seemed unfixable.