Project Integrate Series Boxed Set

by Campbell, Jamie

  Mrs. Mercury let me in reluctantly, on the condition the others stay outside. The thought of having more than one alien inside her house was too horrible to entertain. Or it could have been the prison-issue jumpsuits. The fact she let me in to see Lochie at all spoke volumes about his condition and didn’t help to ease my concerns.

  I went upstairs alone, warned not to stay long or tire him out. It was terrifying opening the door. Even scarier seeing the room in almost darkness.

  “Lochie?” I said gently. Movement came from the bed. “It’s Amery. Can I come in?”

  “You better get your butt in here,” he croaked out, the words sounded like every one of them cost him too much energy.

  I crossed the room in record time to kneel at his bedside. Now my eyes had adjusted, it was just light enough to see him in the shadows.

  It was my worst nightmare come to life. Lochie was so incredibly thin, like he was nothing more than a bag of skin holding his bones together. His sunken eyes were haunted but still that beautiful blue I had stared into so many times. He was nothing but a mere shadow of his normal self.

  Tears stung my eyes at seeing him like that. My strong Lochie was gone, replaced by a diseased skeleton that scarcely resembled him anymore.

  I wouldn’t let him see the horror washing over me, or the tears either. It was more important than ever that I remained strong for him. I needed to give him strength, even if it was just to get through our conversation.

  “Nice outfit.”

  “Pink and black stripes are so in right now,” I joked, earning a small smile. “I don’t know how you did it, but thank you for sending everyone to get us out of the jail. You saved our lives.”

  “Caden said you were already on your way out.”

  “We met him halfway. You didn’t think I’d stay in there sitting on my hands, did you?”

  “I should have known.” His next words were cut off as he went into a coughing fit. Even his cough had changed, mutating into a death rattle in his chest. The effort exhausted him.

  “Do you feel as bad as you look?” I teased, trying to hide all my own feelings.

  “Probably,” Lochie replied. “I’m sorry you have to see me like this.”

  I slid my hand into his, giving it a gentle squeeze. With my other one, I brushed his hair from his forehead. He was burning up, easily well above a safe temperature. “I would gladly see you however you come. I’ve been so worried about you.”

  “The feeling’s mutual.”

  “When I was taken, did the police keep you?”

  “Nah. They practically had to throw me out of the station. I kept yelling at them to let you go. They didn’t care about charging me when they had you.”

  I looked into his illness weary eyes, my heart breaking. I was going to lose him. There was no way he was going to last long in the state he was in. It was clearly apparent how much the disease was winning.

  Lochie was so young. Seventeen were not enough years to live a full life. He had so much he still wanted to do, we had plans that could only be accomplished together. It was all going to be lost… when? Today? Tomorrow? It wouldn’t be too much longer.

  I couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to live without him. My entire life he had been there. We played together as toddlers, attended the same school, experienced things together that I couldn’t imagine ever doing with someone else.

  I was his, he was mine. There could never be anyone else for either of us. My Lochie was slipping away from me. He would soon fall into the abyss and never return.

  The sadness was being replaced by anger. He didn’t deserve any of this. Lochie deserved to live the life he was supposed to. He was meant to do everything he ever dreamed of and more. Someone had spread the disease through the water system and they needed to pay. They needed to feel every single loss.

  “Ame,” Lochie croaked out. “I need you to know how much I love you.”

  “No, don’t say that. Don’t say goodbye to me,” I replied. If he started the goodbye speech, I was going to lose it. He couldn’t give up, he had to stay strong too.

  “I need to say it.” Even though I was shaking my head, he continued anyway. Every word cost him so, so much energy. “I planned on spending forever with you. I was always in it for the long haul. It was only ever going to be you. You make me so happy. Thank you for being the love of my life.”

  “Lochie, no.” I refused to say it back because then I would be giving up too and I couldn’t. I would fight for Lochie until the very end.

  “Ame, I’m not going to last much longer. You have to listen to me.”

  “No, Lochie, I can’t. I’m not doing this.”

  “I need to say it. Please.”

  “No, not yet. It’s too soon,” I pleaded with him.

  A thought crossed my mind. Perhaps there was something I could still do to save him. There was no guarantee it would work, but I had to give him the option of trying.

  “Ame-”

  “No, you save it. Do you hear me, Mercury? You cannot give up yet. There might be a way to heal you.” Hope flickered briefly in his eyes before the pain of his illness took it away again. “Senph is here. Her power is healing. She thinks she might be able to cure the disease.”

  “Do it,” he sighed without hesitation.

  “There is no way to know what will happen though. It might take all the energy you have left.”

  “Do it,” he repeated.

  “But-”

  “Ame, I’m dying. If there is a chance… I want to try.”

  “Senph isn’t exactly reliable,” I warned him. He knew my history with Senph, he knew everything she was capable of. “She doesn’t like humans.”

  “I trust you.”

  Despite everything, I let out a laugh. “I don’t know if that’s so wise. I would do anything to save you right now.”

  “Only right now?” He tried to smile but winced with pain instead.

  “Always.”

  “Always,” he parroted. His head fell backwards on the pillow, his eyes closing. If he didn’t squeeze my hand, I would have thought his fight was over. There wasn’t much time left.

  I extracted my hands and ran out of the room. I was out the front door before anyone realized it. Sprinting toward the green car, I pulled the door open. “Senph, you have to come in. You have to heal Lochie.”

  “Your boyfriend? You want me to waste my abilities on your human?” She asked in disgust, like I had asked her to cut off her own leg or something.

  “Yes, I do. And we have to hurry.” She didn’t move. I was not going to lose Lochie because of her ego. “Senph, please. I can’t live without him so he cannot die. Not today, not for a very, very long time. Please.”

  She got out of the car. I didn’t dare say another word for fear she would change her mind. There was a good chance she would anyway.

  We pushed past Mrs. Mercury, her protests cut off as we ran upstairs. Even a second away from Lochie was too much right now.

  We reached Lochie’s bedroom and I closed the door. Leading Senph over to the bed, we both crouched down to be eye level with him.

  “He looks dead,” Senph said. She never was one for tact.

  “He’s not but he will be if you don’t heal him,” I pointed out. “Can you do it?”

  “I told you I could.”

  I placed a hand on Lochie’s forehead. “Lochie, Senph is here. Are you sure you want to go ahead with this?”

  “Please,” he sighed. “There’s so much pain. I’m drowning.” His voice carried with a faraway whimsy. I was losing him quickly. Unconsciousness wouldn’t be too much longer.

  My questions about whether he was really sure caught in my throat. Instead, I placed a kiss on his lips and stood, looking at Senph. “Please be quick.”

  She nodded and pulled Lochie’s sheet down from his body. He was wearing pajamas that looked two sizes too big for him now. They once fit perfectly, I’d seen them before. His muscles used to fill out the shirt,
his strong and fit legs, the shorts. There was nothing recognizable about him.

  Senph placed both her hands on his chest and closed her eyes. I couldn’t stand still, it seemed like time had stopped and was running out simultaneously.

  My feet started pacing as loud bangs started pounding on the door. I hurried over to it. “Mrs. Mercury, just give us a few minutes. Please.”

  “What are you doing in there? Let me in!” She continued banging. If I let her in, she would only freak out at an alien touching her son. She wouldn’t understand the healing ability. I couldn’t let her stop us.

  “Please, just a few more minutes.”

  “I’m going to call the police if you don’t open this door right now.” I had no doubts that she would too.

  Suddenly Lochie started coughing. His body rose and fell on the bed, jerking back and forth like he was having a fit. My heart stopped as I watched him. Surely this was not healing, this was killing him. His body would not be able to withstand that kind of torture.

  “Senph, you have to stop,” I begged. She didn’t answer me.

  The door clicked open, flying backwards against the wall and hitting it with a loud thud. Mrs. Mercury took one look at her son and ran for the bed. “Get off him! Get away!” She repeated the words over and over again, pushing at Senph.

  But Senph wasn’t moving. Whatever trance she had to put herself in to do the healing, it was deep and powerful. Lochie continued to jerk, barely remaining on the bed. If it wasn’t for Senph’s hands still on him, he would have tipped over the edge.

  “Senph, please,” I pleaded. She had to be hurting him. One look at his face and seeing his eyes rolled back in his head made me want to vomit.

  No matter how long I lived, I would never be able to get Mrs. Mercury’s wailing out of my head as she threw herself over her son. She pinned him down, begging him to return to her.

  Senph was failing, she was wrong. This wasn’t healing.

  I slumped against the wall, sliding down to the floor with my useless hands tangled in my hair. It was really happening. I was really losing Lochie. He was never going to wake up again. Those beautiful eyes were never going to see again. The arms that used to wrap around and comfort me when nothing else did, were never going to be hugging me again. I would never again hear his laugh, see his smile, feel his heartbeat.

  It was all over.

  I couldn’t watch anymore. I buried my head in my hands and let it all out. The tears ran down my cheeks, my sobs lost in Mrs. Mercury’s cries.

  My body was racked with pain and grief. A part of me was dying too. I could never imagine a life without Lochie and here it was, actually happening. I shouldn’t have told him about Senph. I should have forced him to hold on until we had tested the healing. It was all my fault believing her in the first place.

  Lochie had always been so strong. No matter what happened over the last few months, I could always count on him being a tower of strength. I had always been too stubborn to ask him for help but he had willingly given it anyway without needing to.

  He understood me like nobody else and we weren’t even born on the same planet. On paper we should have been enemies, two opposing forces that should never meet. We shouldn’t have worked so well, but we did. Like Lochie said, we were a team.

  It took a moment to register that it was suddenly quiet in the room. Mrs. Mercury stopped her wailing, the bed no longer creaked with movement. The silence was eerie.

  It sounded like death.

  I didn’t want to open my eyes, because then I wouldn’t be able to deny it any longer. I would know that Lochie was gone, my eyes would be able to verify what my ears already had.

  A world without Lochlan Mercury in it was a world I couldn’t bear to be in. I loved him too much, having him gone was like losing a huge part of myself. I would never be whole again.

  Broken. That’s what I was. Irrevocably damaged beyond repair.

  I would never be able to love again. Not like with Lochie, he was the only one for me. Ever. Forever. It was supposed to be forever. To have our happy future cut so short was tragic. Even after every painful and horrible thing that had been inflicted on me, this was by far the worst.

  Lochie couldn’t be gone. It was too cruel even for fate to burden me with. He didn’t deserve it. His soul was beautiful, right down to the very core. He brought the sunshine to every day, no matter how many clouds were looming.

  My Lochie. My love.

  It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. None of it. We were supposed to grow old together, make mistakes until we were wise enough to know better, laugh until it hurt. Every. Single. Day.

  Living without him wasn’t living at all. It was being trapped in a nightmare that I couldn’t escape. I suddenly knew what hell on earth was defined as – never seeing Lochie again.

  And it wasn’t just me. His mother, his brother, the rest of his family. We were all going to exist but we wouldn’t be alive. A large piece of our souls had died with him.

  My heart had cracked like a brittle piece of glass and the shards splintered through my body. They pierced my skin from the inside, sending pain searing, radiating outwards.

  I wanted to murder the people who did this to him. I wanted to hunt them all down and cause them to hurt like I was. It was all so senseless, killing so many and each of them being someone’s loved one. What did it achieve? Nothing.

  He was gone. No matter what I did to anyone else, it wouldn’t change that fact.

  There was no way to even comprehend the loss. I had been speaking to him, touching him. Why hadn’t I said everything I wanted to say? Why did I have to be so stubborn and refuse to say goodbye when I had the chance? Did he know anyway? Did he know how much I loved him even though I hadn’t said it again, one last time?

  How could he be gone so easily? Slip away into death with nothing but a last breath as a goodbye. Life was too fragile, how could any of us really survive?

  The thoughts all whipped through my head in the space of a heartbeat. The room was still too quiet but I refused to open my eyes again. If someone wanted me to move, they were going to have to force me.

  There was only one thing I knew for sure: I would never have the strength to get up again.

  CHAPTER 16

  “You okay, Jones?”

  Now I was hearing things because that sounded exactly like Lochie. The voice mocked me, my mind playing tricks on me.

  The inevitable could not be delayed any longer. I needed to be strong one last time for Lochie. He would want me to be strong. I opened my eyes and took in the scene.

  Everything had changed. Senph was standing, looking out the window. Mrs. Mercury was on the bed next to Lochie, who was sitting up – very much alive.

  The healing had worked.

  I didn’t ask questions, I didn’t even process what I saw. All I could do was run over to the bed and fling my arms around Lochie. The force pushed him against the wall but it didn’t matter. He was no longer wheezing, his breaths were strong and regular. He wrapped his arms around me, and held me so close against him that we could have merged together.

  “Are you really alive?” I asked, burying my head in his shoulder. Even though I could feel and see him, it still didn’t seem real. I placed my hand over his heart, feeling it steadily beating underneath.

  “You can’t get rid of me that easily, Jones,” he joked. I pushed out of his embrace so I could see his face. I cradled his hollowed cheeks in my hand and stared into his eyes. It was really him. He was really okay. If it was a dream, it was the cruelest prank in the universe.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “I feel great. Perhaps I could do with a nap, but great anyway. Hey, don’t cry.” He let go of my waist so he could brush my tears away with his thumb. “It’s going to be fine.”

  He was the one who almost died and he was still comforting me. Our foreheads rested against each other. The fever was no longer there, we were back to the same temperature again. I never wanted t
o leave his side again.

  “I’m going to wait in the car,” Senph declared. There was silence until she left.

  Mrs. Mercury cleared her throat. “I don’t know what your friend did, but… thank you. I’ll give you a moment but then my son is all mine. He needs his rest.”

  I bit my tongue until we were alone. “That’s probably the nicest thing your mom has said to me since the whole alien announcement.”

  Lochie laughed, it was the sweetest sound in the world. He stopped just as quickly as he had started. We stared into each other’s eyes for the longest time possible. It still wasn’t long enough.

  Finally, Lochie sighed. “Do you really have to leave?”

  The thought of being apart from Lochie sent a stabbing pain into my chest. But what choice did I have? Others needed me. If Lochie’s condition had deteriorated so badly, then I hated to think what my adoptive parents and Lola were like. Not to mention the rest of the population.

  “I wished I didn’t but I have to go,” I replied sadly. At least I knew he would be okay now, his mother would look after him. “But I promise I will come back as soon as I can.”

  “I’ll come with you.”

  I placed a hand on his chest, still rail thin. His mind might be fine, but it was going to take some time for his body to recover. “You’re staying here and recovering. Besides, you’ll only get in my way,” I added, totally worth it to see the smile quirk his lips.

  “I meant what I said before, I’m so glad you’re the love of my life.”

  The tears were threatening again, this time out of relief and happiness. “I’m really glad I met you, Lochlan Mercury, you know that?”

  “Life would be pretty boring without me.”

  “Pretty awful, you mean,” I pointed out.

  I wished we could stay in that moment forever. But, like always, there were things that needed doing. I really hoped the day would come when there was nothing either of us had to do than be together. I lived for that day.