Summer at Hollyhock House

by Cathy Bussey

  All right, Faith thought. Now we’re really getting somewhere. Let’s see what he says to that. Her heartrate had picked up again and she was half worried everybody would hear it, thundering away like the proverbial herd in her chest. Her mouth was dry, and she swallowed hard.

  Rik looked sheepish. ‘She did stay here a few times, but not with me.’ He winced, as if he knew he was saying something he shouldn’t. ‘When she and Jason started going out her parents wouldn’t let them spend the night together, so she told them she was staying with you — sorry Min,’ he added, ‘took your name in vain a bit there. Anyway, they stayed at the cottage and I just banished myself to the hay barn.’ He giggled. ‘Good thing I did by the sounds of it.’

  Faith’s hand tightened involuntarily around her tea cup.

  ‘So that wasn’t you?’ Minel asked, seemingly similarly confused. ‘It was Jason?’ A look of horror crept across her face. ‘I was listening to Jason?’

  Rik looked highly amused. ‘Yep.’

  Sara dissolved into giggles. ‘Spotty totty,’ she crowed. Faith felt a flash of deja vu through her shock and confusion, and the floor of the kitchen seemed to tilt underneath her feet.

  ‘Jason,’ she repeated robotically.

  ‘Yes,’ Rik said. ‘You remember Jason? Had a massive crush on Sophie, they got together at a party while his folks were away. You were there,’ he added harshly, then his eyes flickered again and he looked past her to a point on the wall behind her. ‘I think.’

  Oh, I was there, Faith thought. You know I was.

  Her hand tightened again and the cup, unable to take the pressure, slipped out of her grasp and fell onto the floor, shattering with a loud clash and sending shards of enamel flying. Faith watched as if she were dreaming.

  ‘Are you OK?’ Minel was all concern. ‘Did you cut yourself? Stay there,’ she said. ‘I’ll get a dustpan and brush.’

  Faith sat, frozen to the spot, as Minel swept up the pieces of the cup. Rik was also looking at her questioningly and she could feel the colour had drained from her face, leaving her pale and wan. Jason, she repeated to herself over and over again. I didn’t see Rik. I saw Jason.

  No. I saw Rik. I’m sure of it.

  But I didn’t actually see him.

  It was early in the morning and the sun was coming in through the window and all I could see was outlines. The outlines of two people, and one of them was definitely a girl, and that told me all I needed to know.

  All I thought I needed to know.

  Oh my god, she thought. What have I done?

  She got to her feet. ‘I have to go.’

  Sara frowned. ‘I only just got here.’

  ‘Stay for dinner,’ Minel said immediately. ‘We can all catch up — it’s nice, isn’t it?’

  It’s not, Faith thought. It’s unbearable.

  ‘Sorry,’ she said, already edging towards the door. ‘I just remembered — I promised my mum — I have to, um —’ she put her hand on the door handle and gripped it firmly, half afraid it would melt away beneath her fingers and she would just crash straight to the floor and shatter like that cup. ‘I’ll see you on Monday,’ she squeaked and she shot out of the kitchen and hurtled headlong across the garden, ignoring the whoops and yells coming from the site, flinging herself onto her bike, slamming her feet onto the pedals, forgetting her helmet entirely.

  What, she thought again, have I done?

  Chapter 6

  The three years that passed after Faith moved to Westchester were the happiest of her life. From the moment she first came to Hollyhock House she was magnetically drawn to it and in return it opened its sleepy, sandy, sweeping self up to her as if it wanted to embrace her in the same way it had engulfed the entire Panesar family. Faith adored all of them, she could spend days on end enjoying girly fun with Minel and being welcomed by Helena and Ravi. They were an odd couple to Faith, the artistic, ethereal middle-class hippy and the brusque, severely handsome doctor, but despite their almost constant affectionate bickering they had a very warm, loving relationship that seemed to spill over into every part of Hollyhocks.

  And then there was Rik, with whom Faith bonded almost immediately and to an even greater extent than she had with Minel. They rode bikes together constantly, argued and debated the finer points of life, read books and tinkered with computers, and all the while they roamed Hollyhocks and the surrounding areas like nomads. He took her to a small disused quarry in the middle of the woods where he practiced jumps on his bike, one of those curious secrets of the English countryside that history had long forgotten. Their desire to know the land soon turned into a desire to shape and change it, wanting to impose some of themselves so they, too, would become a part of its heritage. They dug the pond together, Faith worked on the garden while he read or drew, and they carved out steps into the quarry to bounce their bikes over.

  Faith’s own home life was a stark contrast to the euphoric freedom she enjoyed at Hollyhocks. Her parents seemed to be constantly arguing, never in front of her, but she heard muttering and strained voices behind closed doors. They had begun to discuss potentially moving away from Westchester or ‘WC’ as she and Rik had sniggeringly dubbed it, but Faith blocked her ears, refusing to even consider it. Here, at last, she felt she had found her home, even if it belonged to somebody else.

  Judith and Jeff, but Judith in particular, disliked the Panesars intensely. Faith had wondered if her mother was racist but the only one of the lot she seemed to even remotely tolerate was Ravi. She scowled at Helena’s floaty dresses, trailing hair and vague air, and she considered Minel basically a younger version of her mother.

  But it was Rik for whom her mother’s real venom was reserved. She didn’t seem happy about Faith spending so much time with a boy, and such a boyish boy at that. She was constantly coming home late and muddy and usually scraped, grazed and bruised, and the contrast between the open, heady freedom of Hollyhocks and the tight confines of her home and Judith’s obvious disapproval turned Faith into a caricature of a stroppy teenager. She huffed pointedly and grunted monosyllabically if her mother tried to find out what she’d been up to, before flying into a rage and peppering her outbursts liberally with choice words. Judith in turn blamed her attitude on Rik and decided he must be a bad influence.

  In fact, the most recent source of Faith’s angst had been that she and Rik had gone from being touchingly close to arguing wildly with an increasing loaded tension. Faith had found herself becoming hopelessly provoked and when he became particularly animated she would find herself completely fixated by his demeanour and gestures and to her alarm, it made her want to actually hit or shove him, release her aggravation in a physical form.

  He in turn had found the ultimate weapon with which to torture her, which was to insist she secretly fancied him. Faith had hated it, it made her ears burn and her stomach churn uncomfortably with what she supposed must be revulsion, because it felt a lot like nausea but as unpleasant as it was there was something about it that was almost addictive.

  And so they took this strangely horrible, strangely compelling atmosphere with them into Minel’s 18th birthday party, held in the early summer.

  It was one of those epic, heady evenings when everybody seemed full of adrenaline and Hollyhocks hummed with magic. Faith avoided Rik and his mob of spotty friends, who seemed to find their increasingly choice exchanges completely hilarious, and instead decided to find herself somebody to snog, preferably in front of him, so he could stop all this stupid nonsense about her fancying him once and for all.

  At a certain point later on, everybody who hadn’t coupled off or vomited gravitated towards the far end of the barn, where most of the bales of hay had been piled and covered with tarpaulin. Minel was lounging next to a group of girls Faith recognised from the year above. She smiled at her friend, who had obviously had a few too many Bacardi Breezers. Minel’s dark hair was flopping into her eyes and she had a cigarette burning between her fingers, but from the length of the ash Faith
guessed she’d forgotten all about it.

  Rik appeared next to her and Faith sighed pointedly. He passed her a bottle of vodka and she took a tentative swig, wincing as the liquor burned down her throat.

  He took it from her, deliberately taking a much bigger swig, and she giggled as he spluttered a little. ‘Very cool, Rikki. Are you dressed as a ninja?’

  He was all in black, and his eyes were very dark in the dull yet garish light of the barn. He did look a bit like a ninja, lean and wiry and graceful, like he would make no noise at all when he moved. She could see the waistband of his — also black — pants above his belt and she averted her eyes quickly.

  ‘I like your, um…’ he fixed his gaze on her camisole, which she’d had to sneak past her mother in a carrier bag and change into because it was rather lower cut than her usual vest and t-shirts and showed off her cleavage, or at least the closest she could manage to one thanks to an equally illicit push-up bra.

  ‘I’m up here,’ she said irritably, waving at her face, and Rik tried and failed to look guilty. ‘Now, your pustular friend,’ she began, thinking too late that all of Rik’s friends were spotty.

  He frowned. ‘Which one? They’re all a bit challenged in the complexion department, aren’t they?’ He gave her the smug smile of a person who didn’t share that particular problem.

  ‘I don’t know. About this tall,’ she gestured. ‘He’s been following me around all night.’

  ‘He fancies you,’ Rik confirmed.

  ‘I thought you didn’t know which one I was talking about?’

  Rik shrugged. ‘They all fancy you. They have that, and excess sebum, in common.’ He pushed the bottle at her.

  ‘Stop trying to get me drunk so you can loosen me up for your vile friends.’

  Rik looked outraged. ‘No way. Not those idiots.’ He grinned. ‘How drunk would you need to be?’

  He took another swig and giggled so infectiously Faith suddenly wanted to hug him, which made a change from wanting to body-slam him. ‘You’re cute, Rikki,’ she said. She must be drunk. ‘For a kid.’

  ‘Here, give me that!’ Paul, his eyes glittering with mischief, took the bottle. Faith and Rik both stared, impressed, as he easily downed the lot without so much as a wince and twirled the bottle around his fingers. ‘Let’s play Spin the Bottle.’

  ‘Yes!’ Minel, who had a thumping great crush on Paul, shrieked in delight. She squinted at Rik. ‘You can’t play. You’re too young.’

  ‘No I’m not.’

  ‘Yes he is,’ Faith insisted. But she would play, she decided, and she would snog the face off whomever she happened to spin to infuriate Rik. As long as it wasn’t one of his spotty mates.

  ‘What if you and Rik spin each other?’ Paul asked Minel, who looked revolted. He began to laugh. ‘I think he should play just so we all see what you guys will do if that happens.’ Vindicated, Rik smiled innocently at Faith and she ignored him and went and sat down next to Sara.

  Somebody had switched the music to a Prodigy track and the thundering bass shook the barn.

  ‘Birthday girl goes first,’ Paul announced.

  Minel spun Jason Denby, Rik’s other best friend. Faith choked with glee at the expression on her face.

  ‘Absolutely no way!’ Minel stormed.

  ‘You have to,’ Faith crowed. ‘Spotty totty,’ she snorted and she and Sara laughed so hard tears ran down their cheeks.

  Minel leaned in and pecked Jason briefly on the pock-marked cheek.

  ‘Cheating!’ roared Paul. ‘It has to be on the lips!’

  Jason winked at Minel encouragingly.

  Grimacing, Minel pressed her lips to his, her eyes crossing a little. Jason looked thrilled with himself and spun Sara, who sighed and puckered up, then cackled wickedly. ‘My turn!’ She grabbed the bottle and spun Paul. Everybody made a big ‘whooooh’ noise. Sara and Paul were good friends and very similar, both alphas.

  ‘Come on then,’ Paul grinned.

  Sara leaned in and he grabbed the back of her head and stuck his tongue down her throat, very obviously hamming it up for the whooping crowd. That’s what I’ll do, Faith thought, exactly that, all exaggerated and clearly not taking it seriously, but it will still drive Rik bananas.

  ‘That’s revolting,’ Minel said irritably.

  Paul spun and landed one of the younger girls, who in turn got one of the spotty teens and mystifyingly, looked extremely pleased about it. Everybody else groaned in disgust at the frenzied display.

  Once they had finally finished the girl apologetically spun one of Paul’s friends, who then spun Faith. As she stood up she realised he was at least two inches shorter than her and could barely focus. Bloody hell, she thought irritably, I can’t snog him, I’d have to actually bend my knees. He looked equally disinterested and leaned up for a quick peck. Faith was hit by a waft of the distinctive, sweet smell of weed and grimaced.

  ‘This is getting boring,’ somebody complained.

  ‘Spin me, Faith,’ one of the spotty teens yelled, and Rik shoved him roughly.

  Faith spun, hoping she didn’t land one of the kids.

  The bottle landed on Rik.

  Faith’s stomach gave an almighty lurch of protest. ‘Oh come on,’ she grumbled. ‘What are the chances?’

  Rik, who was still shoving back and forth with the kid who had wanted Faith to spin him, stood up and grinned at her, almost bouncing on his feet.

  ‘I can’t kiss him,’ Faith said, breathless with outrage. ‘It’s practically incest. Is this bottle rigged towards the minor citizens? I’m not doing it!’

  ‘You have to,’ Minel was looking distinctly queasy. ‘Sara and I had to kiss Jason.’

  ‘Look mate, if you want to swap,’ Jason said to Rik. ‘I don’t mind completing the hat-trick.’

  ‘No way,’ Rik said. Faith wanted to kick him, or preferably just shove him over. He’d be on at her all evening about this, the rest of her life, probably.

  ‘All right, let’s get it over with,’ she sighed, stepping reluctantly towards him. It was only a kiss, what harm could come from one kiss?

  She was going to have to stand on her tiptoes and she put her hands on his shoulders to steady herself and felt him shiver almost imperceptibly beneath her palms, the infinitesimal amount of friction generated warming her skin through the thin material of his t-shirt. He bent his head and she felt a cold rush of air in her nostrils as she drew her breath in sharply, with a very slight whooshing noise that caught in the back of her throat. From this very, very close range she could see his pupils had almost completely dilated and she felt something rising horribly, no, not horribly, gloriously from the ground below her, seeping in through the soles of her feet and taking all of her upwards with it.

  His lips on hers were soft, but his intention was a forcefield all of its own.

  Time slowed down. The music dulled and faded, the chatter and hubbub around them slipped and lurched down to a low, pulsing frequency. For a split-second even the air around them stopped moving and all the minute dust particles from the hay that had been drifting and floating and spiralling around hung suspended, frozen specks of stardust.

  Of course, she thought. It’s you.

  Then she softened her ramrod-straight body and let herself just fuse into him, tilting her head back and parting her lips eagerly. She felt herself actually jolt physically with excitement, setting off a chain reaction of shockwaves from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. His face looked completely blissful, his eyes closed rapturously, almost as if he was dreaming. Her hands crept up into his hair, feeling it soft and springy under her fingers, and she closed her eyes to the increasingly staring crowd and let her other senses take over.

  His tongue dancing over hers was unbelievably intoxicating, setting off previously unknown nerve endings and filling her with wild energy. She could feel blood roaring around her head and Rik’s hands moving on her waist and the sound of his breathing in her ears, and her own heart racing and his hammerin
g away underneath her chest which was straining right up against him. And most of all she could feel an overwhelming sense of rightness, as if something had just clicked into place. Oh, she had wanted to get her hands on him all right. She twisted her fingers into his hair, pulling at it to get him closer, and she heard him exhale sharply and more blood rushed to her head as he kissed her harder. Everything about him felt so amazingly alive, so perfectly in tune with her, like he had been made to do this with her. She curled her tongue round his to draw him into her, wanting to feel his breathing quicken and his body tremble in the places where it was pressed up against hers —

  ‘Whoooh,’ screeched Sara and a few of the other girls and all the spotty teens joined in. The noise was deafening.

  Faith’s eyes flew open and she squirmed out of Rik’s grasp.

  ‘That was disgusting,’ Minel breathed in horrified fascination, and she giggled and toppled sideways on her hay bale.

  Faith sat down abruptly next to Sara. Her hands were shaking.

  ‘You’ve got to spin again, mate,’ one of Rik’s friends roared. ‘Come on, wakey wakey!’ She heard a fair bit of shoving and yelling and one of Sara’s terrifying older friends got to her feet sighing and complaining. ‘Don’t even think about trying that with me, you little shit,’ she screeched and Faith felt overwhelmed with relief when she sat back down.

  The game went on with much hilarity and competition among willing couples to put on the best show. Faith sat reeling, staring at the floor and occasionally touching her lips as if to check they were still there.

  Was this what all that arguing and goading had been about? Was this where they were meant to go? Surely not, not Rik, he was too young and silly and annoying and they were friends and he was Minel’s brother and her mother hated him. So then why was she fighting so hard to stop her eyes drifting over to him, why did she desperately want to see the look on his face now and that other look, the way he’d looked so completely, so beautifully transported as he had kissed her? She’d kissed boys before, that wasn’t the first time by any means, but that had been — that had felt — that had felt like — really? Rik?