The Restarting Point

by Marci Bolden

  “It sounds like a lot,” Jade said softly. Though the sun had set hours ago, she could see the hurt in Taylor’s eyes reflecting in the glow of the fire. “Those things were important to you. What they represented was important to you.”

  Taylor nodded. “I know you think Nick won’t try to take you for all he can, but divorce changes people, Jade. You have to protect yourself. I don’t care how nice he was when you had cancer or how in love you used to be. That’s over now. You’re not on the same team anymore.”

  Jade looked down as she rubbed her sticky fingers together. Finally, she grinned, “Is that offer to kill him still available, Darby?”

  Darby toasted her with her drink. “Always. See, ladies, this is why I’m single. This is why no man can tie this old gal down. No, sir. I am free. I will stay free. Forever and always. Amen.”

  “You got dumped too?” Jade asked.

  “Like a fucking hot potato,” Darby admitted. “But really, I’m usually the dumper, not the dumpee.”

  “Come on,” Taylor said. “Tell us all about it.”

  Falling back into her chair, Darby shook her head and looked up at the stars. “I had just moved to Richmond and landed my dream job tending bar at La Viva Voom.”

  “La what what?” Jade asked.

  “La Viva Voom. It’s a strip bar.”

  Jade perked up. “You worked in a strip bar?”

  Darby twisted her lips into a pout. “Then I met Johnny Rakin. He won me over with blue eyes and big tips.” A wistful smile played on her lips. “He liked one shot of rum and two cherries in his soda. I always got it right, and he’d blow me a kiss and slip me some cash.”

  “So what happened?” Jade asked.

  “He asked me out, and we had a great time. Eventually one thing led to another and…” Her wistful smile turned back into a scowl. “Then one day, this crazy woman comes into the bar, throws a whiskey sour in my face, and accuses me of screwing her husband.”

  “Oh no,” Jade mumbled.

  Darby lowered her gaze. “I was the other woman. But I didn’t know it. I wouldn’t do that, Jade.”

  “I believe you.”

  “Not only was he married, but he had three kids at home. Including a newborn. I have no idea how I didn’t know.”

  “You trusted him,” Taylor said.

  “I was an idiot,” Darby insisted.

  “Sounds like a world-class prick if you ask me,” Jade offered.

  Darby shrugged. “I guess.”

  “You guess,” Taylor said. “He was banging you while his wife was home cleaning baby poop. There is no guessing. He was a prick.”

  “Anyway, I got fired, I lost my man, and I ended up back in Chammont Point. Again.”

  “You know what,” Jade said, not in the mood to continue spiraling into depressing territory, “we’ve all been dumped. We’ve all been hurt. And we’ve all picked ourselves up—well, I’m working on that—but the point is, we don’t need them.”

  “Hell no we don’t,” Taylor agreed and lifted her drink. “Screw ’em all.”

  Jade lifted her juice. “Screw ’em all!”

  Darby raised her glass as well. They all drank before silence fell over them.

  “How booked is the cabin for the rest of the summer?” Jade asked. “I think I’d like to start spending more time in Chammont Point.”

  When Darby responded by glaring over the fire at Taylor, Jade hesitantly asked, “What?”

  “She made me cancel all my renters,” Darby accused.

  “Until that cabin is no longer a hazard,” Taylor stated, “you will not be renting it to anyone.”

  “Except me,” Jade said.

  “No,” Taylor said. “You could get hurt, Jade.”

  “I’ll sign a waiver.”

  Darby toasted her. “There you go. Problem solved.”

  Taylor shook her head.

  “I’ll stay at my own risk,” Jade said to Taylor.

  “Mi casa es su casa,” Darby said, toasting her again. “Come down and stay forever if you’d like.”

  Jade chuckled. “I just might.”

  Nine

  Jade hadn’t seen her kids in weeks. As happy as she was that they were coming for the weekend, her heart ached knowing they would walk into their home only to find out their parents were getting a divorce. She looked around the living room that Taylor and Darby had meticulously rearranged and organized the previous weekend.

  Jade was just getting used to the new look—not only in the house, but also her dark auburn hair and her brighter clothes. Though Jade had been hesitant, the makeover step of the breakup ritual had helped her mindset tremendously. Rather than walking in from her first week back at work with the past haunting her, Jade had been welcomed by a completely different feel to her home. One that didn’t take her breath away.

  Taylor and Darby had dragged Jade into a home store, and in a matter of hours, she’d bought a new area rug, two new chairs, and a new coffee table to fill the living room. The old furniture was moved into the den that Jade rarely used so she didn’t have to see it unless she chose to. Just that change—not seeing the furniture where Nick had spent most of his weekends—had eased her heartache so much.

  Now, however, she wondered if she should have put that off. Nick would be in her home today, in her new space, and they’d be breaking their kids’ hearts. Standing in the doorway of her living room, looking at her new belongings, she realized once again that this house wasn’t her home any longer.

  She was still looking over her furniture when the doorbell rang. The sound made her heart twist in her chest and plummet to her feet. Her boys wouldn’t ring the bell, and she wasn’t expecting anyone else besides Nick.

  Jade stood unmoving except for the rapid blinking and the long breath she blew out to brace herself. She would be facing him for the first time since she’d caught him moving out.

  “You can do this,” she whispered to herself. “You can do this.”

  She swallowed hard and forced her feet to move toward the front door. In the back of her mind, she was desperate to slip out through the kitchen and make a run for it.

  Opening the door, she tried to smile, but her lips wouldn’t move.

  “Hey,” he said. The uneasy shift in his pose reminded her of years and years ago back in high school when they’d first started dating. He used to come to her locker, give that sweet smile, and move awkwardly from foot to foot. He’d never been the overly confident kind.

  In fact, Jade had been the one who had pushed them to get more serious. She’d always been the one who took charge and moved them ahead. If she’d left it to Nick, he’d still be struggling to get his business off the ground. They’d probably be buried in more debt than just her medical bills and the kids’ college expenses.

  The first decision Jade could ever recall Nick making without her push was to divorce her. Figured.

  She stepped aside and gestured for him to come into what had, until he’d left, been their home.

  He pointed toward her hair as he came in. “You changed your color.”

  “Yeah.”

  “How’s your leg?”

  “Better. I’m not using those gaudy crutches any longer.” She added the last part with a soft smile, hoping to ease the tension.

  He laughed gently. “They really were terrible.”

  She wanted to tell him all about Darby and her crazy sense of style. She wanted to tell him how Taylor was an amazing contractor who, if she could find it in herself to not give up, would have a successful business. However, she couldn’t quite bring herself to share her new friends with him. Though it might be foolish, maybe even childish, she wanted to keep what little strides she’d made toward making a new life as separate from him as much as she could.

  “I, um,” he started and then faded off. “I’m glad you’re doing better.”

  “Thanks.”

  He stopped in the doorway of the living room and scanned the furniture. “You… Where’s…”
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  “I switched things up a bit. I think we should sit at the table.” She turned toward the kitchen to redirect his attention. He didn’t belong in this house any more than she did. But for now, this was her space. She didn’t need to justify the change she’d made.

  “Do you want something to drink?” she asked, walking into the kitchen.

  Nick huffed. “I know where everything is.”

  She turned and stared at him. She did not glare, but she wanted to make certain he heard her. “You’re a guest here now.” That harsh statement wasn’t simply to poke at him but to remind herself that he no longer had the right to make himself at home. Because this wasn’t his home. This was her home. Hers alone.

  He sank into what had always been his seat at the table. “I don’t need anything. Thanks.” After a few moments, he stuttered, “I-I-I, um… I’d like to tell the kids about Amber later. If you don’t mind. One thing at a time is best, I think.”

  She turned to get herself a glass. “It’s your secret to tell. I’m ready to sell the house,” she stated as she grabbed a glass from the cabinet. “I’ll let our attorneys sort out what that means financially.” She jerked the fridge open and grabbed the cranberry juice. The bitterness she’d been forcing herself to work through was beginning to surface. Knowing they’d be telling the kids about their divorce had been a constant distraction. She’d ended up leaving work early the last two days. She couldn’t be productive, and she hadn’t wanted her co-workers to see her mind wander constantly.

  Closing the fridge, juice in hand, she glanced at him, silently hoping he’d challenge her decision so she could unleash some of her pent-up frustration.

  He simply nodded and muttered, “Okay.”

  Rather than engage in fake conversation, she put the juice away and leaned against the counter as a tense silence filled the room. They didn’t have to stew in the awkward silence for long. Xander called out from the front of the house. Since he was picking Owen up on his way, that meant both her boys were home.

  Just like when Nick had rung the bell, her insides twisted around themselves. This was it, the last few moments before they shattered the illusion of family for their kids. She forced a smile as they came into the kitchen but couldn’t stop her eyes from filling with tears. “Hey guys,” she said.

  Her sons instantly looked concerned, and Jade silently cursed herself. She hadn’t meant to start crying and knew they immediately feared that they’d been summoned to get bad news about her health.

  “Mom?” Xander asked, giving her a big hug. “What’s up?”

  She opened her mouth, took a breath, but didn’t know what to say.

  “Hey,” Nick said as he hugged Owen. “How’s school?”

  Like his older brother, Owen focused on Jade. He had her red hair and pale skin. Where she’d managed to escape having a splattering of freckles across her face, his nose and cheeks were covered. Though he was an adult now, technically anyway, she still imagined him as a little boy.

  Hard as Jade tried, she couldn’t stop a tear from falling. She wiped it away and tried to force a smile for her kids.

  “What’s going on?” Owen asked as if he could read her mind.

  She cleared her throat and shook her head. “Hungry?”

  Xander, who looked so much like his father with dark eyes and hair, wasn’t buying her act either. “Mom?” he asked softly.

  Owen’s gray eyes were wide as he watched. Waited. “Are you sick again?” he whispered.

  The fear in his voice was like a fist punching Jade in the gut. “No,” she answered quickly. “I’m okay.”

  “Have a seat, guys,” Nick said.

  Xander and Owen focused on Jade as she sat at the table.

  “Sit,” she said.

  Once they were all situated around the table, Jade looked at Nick. This was his stupid idea. He should take the lead.

  “We have something to tell you,” Nick started.

  “Mom is sick again,” Owen said, and his already pale cheeks lost even more color.

  “No.” Nick glanced at Jade, and for the first time, he seemed to regret his decision. No, not his decision. The consequences of his decision. “But we’ve… Well, I…I’ve moved out, guys. Mom and I are getting a divorce.”

  Their sons sat in silence. Xander ground his teeth, and Owen glanced from one parent to the other as if watching a tennis match.

  “Why?” Xander finally asked.

  Again, Jade didn’t have the words.

  “It’s complicated,” Nick said.

  It wasn’t complicated, and she wanted to call him on that. She wanted to tell him he was full of shit.

  Not in front of the kids, she reminded herself. They’d always had a rule about fighting in front of the kids. That was unacceptable. Instead, she waited for him to confess his misdeeds.

  “We’ve been through a lot over the last year,” Nick said. “It takes a toll.”

  Xander creased his brow. “Mom almost died so you’re getting a divorce?”

  “I’ve heard about this.” Owen shot an angry look toward Jade. “People almost die and so they want to change everything. Is that what you’re doing?”

  Jade shook her head and wiped a tear that fell.

  “I asked for the divorce,” Nick said. “I’m the bad guy here. Don’t be mad at Mom. She, um, she was surprised too.”

  Owen turned his glare toward Nick. “So, Mom almost died and now you’re leaving her?”

  “Like I said, it’s more complicated than that,” Nick said.

  “How so?” Xander pressed.

  Nick shifted in that uneasy way he tended to do. “Look, I just…”

  “Mom just recovered from cancer,” Xander said. “Last year…” His voice cracked, and he let his words fade.

  Jade blinked. “Last year was difficult, but, um, Dad didn’t have to stay. He didn’t have to help me through that. So, if he wants to go now, he should…he should go.”

  “Go where?” Owen asked.

  Nick took a long breath. “I’ve moved into an apartment. I’ll get you guys beds so you can stay over.”

  “We can stay here,” Xander said.

  “We’ll be selling the house,” Jade said. “I’ll be getting something smaller, so if you want any of the furniture, just let Dad know. He can put it in storage for you.” She wasn’t dealing with that, and the frown on Nick’s face implied he really didn’t want to either. Tough.

  He smiled, but it was obviously forced. “Yeah, no problem.”

  “Are you guys going to even try to work through this?” Xander asked.

  “I’ve been thinking about it for a long time,” Nick said. “And there just isn’t anything to work through. We don’t hate each other, we… I want something else now.”

  “This sucks,” Owen said.

  “I’m sorry,” Jade told him. “I know it does. But we’re not going to let this turn into something ugly. We’re not going to drag you into this. You’ll be okay.”

  “You say that now,” Xander muttered. “Just wait until Christmas when we have to figure out how to split our time.”

  “We won’t do that to you,” Nick said. “We’re not going to put you in the middle of this.”

  “Newsflash, Dad,” Owen barked, “we’re the kids. We are literally in the middle of this.”

  “Owen,” Jade said, knowing he was about to storm off.

  As she suspected, he jumped up and marched away. He was really good at avoidance. He’d run up to his room and let Xander get more information to break to him later. When Jade had been diagnosed with cancer, Owen had hidden himself in his room while Xander had spent hours researching the disease and various treatments. He’d researched the doctor and the surgery and her chances of recovery. Then he’d helped Owen cope when neither Jade nor Nick could.

  It wasn’t like Xander to walk away without all the details, but seconds later, he jumped up. “I’m out.”

  “Hey,” Nick called.

  “Let him go,” J
ade said when Nick started to stand. “They need some time.”

  When it was just the two of them, Nick frowned. “A storage unit, Jade?”

  Standing, she said, “You’re not sticking me with all the details.”

  He opened his mouth, but she pushed her chair in. “Good night.”

  “Jade—”

  “Good night,” she said, emphasizing each word. She took her glass to the sink and dumped the contents out. When she turned around again, he was gone. She didn’t know if she was relieved or disappointed. He really didn’t have an ounce of fight to give her. Not even when she poked him.

  On one hand, that was great. On the other, his lack of spark proved how far removed he was from their relationship. She really had to have been blind not to see. Even if she had been sick, even if she had needed him, she should have seen how deeply unhappy he’d been.

  But she hadn’t, and now they were all paying the price. She wasn’t going to take all the blame, though. She was still pissed that Nick hadn’t had the guts to speak up. Who sits back in silence letting their marriage crumble without saying a word? Who watches his family slip through his fingers without even trying?

  Jade sat back at the table and stared at the empty seat across from her. She tried to remember the last time they’d sat there, having a meal that wasn’t dominated by both of them looking at phones and making random comments that the other clearly didn’t care about. Honestly, it’d been too long. She hadn’t noticed, not really. She’d been aware, but she’d explained it away with their busy schedules, or by saying they deserved a distraction from her illness, or that they were tired.

  Apparently, they’d been drifting away from each other and she’d ignored the warning signs of their dying relationship as much as she’d ignored the warning signs her body had given about the illness that had tried to kill her. But Nick hadn’t ignored the signs. He saw them and let them grow apart anyway. Pressing her fingertips into her forehead, she tried to stop herself from crying but her tears fell anyway.

  “Mom?”