Time for Love

by Lynn Michaels

  “My dad was shit. A total fuck up. He should have left me with Aunt Christy, but he didn’t. He wouldn’t. He didn’t care about me or what was best for me. He took me to Clearwater to get me away from my mother’s family. That was it. Because he was selfish. It didn’t take me long to figure that out. Selfish and drunk, and it turned to shit. After my mom died, my childhood was gone. Too early. But, his girlfriend...she was so cool and calm and centered. She radiated peace.”

  “You wanted that.” Not a question. Who wouldn’t want that peace?

  “Yeah. We don’t even speak anymore. Don’t know where he is, and I don’t care. Once he left, that was it. He didn’t do anything good for me at all, ever. Except the girlfriend. I still talk to her now and then.”

  “So, that’s someone. And you have family.”

  “You don’t?”

  “No. I didn’t stay in touch with any of the foster homes. They weren’t worth it. Never stayed in one place too long, anyway.”

  “That sucks.”

  Ollie leaned against the side of the building, hoping it could hold him up because his legs felt weak. “So, why philosophy?”

  “Charlie. Hey, don’t look at me like that.”

  Ollie smirked a little. “Sorry...” He’d been busted for his jealous streak.

  “Charlie was the girlfriend. Whatever. Anyway, Charlie pointed me in that direction. She had studied philosophy. I wanted to understand how my asshole-father could have messed my life up so horribly. Wanted to understand...life and how I could make it something good or at least better. Now, I feel like I’ve failed.”

  “Nah...you haven’t failed. You’re a good man.”

  “Whatever. I’m lonely, and I hide behind my philosophy, so I don’t have to connect with others in any kind of meaningful way.”

  “Now you know. Now you can change.” Maybe he understood what Jeremy had been telling him a little better.

  Ollie pushed off the wall and opened his arms, offering another hug. Jeremy stepped into his arms, and it was like he’d never left like this was where he belonged. Ollie didn’t want to let go. He nuzzled his nose under Jeremy’s ear, kissed the back of his jaw. Jeremy’s beard scraped against his face as they slid against each other. Ollie’s nose touched Jeremy’s. “You always smell so good.” His voice was low, quiet. His lips slid across Jeremy’s.

  “Ollie. This—”

  “No. It’s not...it’s not goodbye either. A see you later kiss. A kiss to say how much I care and that we’ll see each other again. I can’t give that up.” Ollie’s lips pressed against Jeremy’s, begging.

  When Jeremy’s mouth opened on a soft intake of breath, Ollie couldn’t resist. His tongue plunged into Jeremy’s mouth, seeking wet heat and a velvet slide and eternity. He tasted like coffee and oranges and sunshine.

  Jeremy groaned, and the sound trickled through Ollie’s heart and into his groin. If he didn’t stop, he would go upstairs and make it a goodbye fuck. His dick was on board with that idea, filling out his jeans. He pulled back slowly, kissing at Jeremy’s lips with little puckered kisses.

  Jeremy hummed tunelessly. “Ah...I always want more of you.”

  Finally, Jeremy moved back a step. His smile said he understood everything in Ollie’s heart. He tucked his hands in the front pockets of his jeans to keep from reaching out again. “I mean it. Call me.”

  Jeremy opened his mouth and then shut it and gave him a brief nod before turning away and walking through the glass door. Ollie watched him as he moved toward the elevator until he couldn’t see Jeremy anymore.

  Staying in touch was bullshit. Long distance relationships didn’t work. He would more than likely never see Jeremy again. They might call a few times, but that would only string the pain out that much longer. He could kick his heart’s ass for becoming attached so quickly.

  “Fuck!” he said out loud, and then headed back to the coffee shop to get his bike and get on with his fucked up life.

  Twenty-Six – Jeremy

  Journal Entry: Scottie is coming over. I feel like I’ve gotten to know him all over again right when it’s time to leave, and leaving him—leaving family—is extremely hard. Again. At least I can see them whenever. A quick trip across the state. Ollie. Yeah...he’s another matter altogether. I don’t know what I was thinking with him. It was supposed to be a fun time. Maybe Karma is kicking my ass on this one. I should have known my heart wasn’t built that way.

  Scottie brought over Chinese takeout and the original Fast and the Furious movie. They both loved the cars, and Jeremy loved Vin Diesel and his muscles. They agreed it was still the best movie in the series. When it was almost over and the food eaten with cartons left on the coffee table, Scottie left. It was late and he promised to be over early the next morning to take Jeremy home. The day was upon them.

  Jeremy cleaned up the takeout mess and washed up. He pulled on a pair of joggers. They were soft and gray with blocks of black on the thighs and stopped with elastic below his knees. He tossed his t-shirt onto his duffle bag where he could grab it in the morning. He had everything already packed up. He double checked he’d packed his pocket watch and had his toiletries sorted and ready to go.

  He rubbed his beard. He hadn’t shaved since he’d been in Jacksonville, and it was getting a bit long and unruly. On impulse, he shaved it off, leaving his face smooth. He’d have stubble again before morning, but that was fine. For now, he was comfortable. Instead of aftershave, Jeremy rubbed cocoa butter lotion into his cheeks and chin and neck.

  Ready for bed, shaved, cleaned up, teeth brushed, why was he delaying? He needed to go to bed already. With a huff, he climbed up on the bed and stretched out, trying desperately not to think of Ollie. As long as he was doing stuff, he was fine. The moment he stopped—Ollie on the brain.

  His dark, thick hair that Jeremy loved running his fingers through. His soulful eyes staring at him with amusement. Teasing him. Those strong arms holding him, sexy lips pressed against his. The way he picked at Jeremy, trying to get him riled up, but always ended up making him laugh. His sharp wit. The man was too smart. And all this thinking about him was stupid.

  He sat up. He wasn’t even tired, wasn’t even horny. He was lonely. He went to get his phone. He’d forgot to plug it in anyway.

  He picked the phone up from the coffee table as someone rapped their knuckles on his door.

  Ollie.

  With a sigh of relief, Jeremy opened the door.

  It wasn’t Ollie.

  Instead, hazel-green drilled into him. Before he could react, Dano jumped forward and pushed the door open, yanking it out of Jeremy’s fingers. “Hey, now. You’ve been a bad boy, Jeremy Ringer.” He shoved Jeremy’s chest, pushing him farther into the apartment. “Very bad.” He stepped close and grabbed Jeremy, planting a quick, smacking kiss on his lips. “I’ve missed you. Have you missed me?”

  Was he crazy? “Hey! Get out. I don’t want any trouble.”

  “Don’t you think it’s a bit late for that?” His nose curled up like a snarl. He looked vicious, dangerous.

  Over his shoulder, he watched Star walk in, wearing high heels that made her about an inch taller than normal. She had fixed her hair in curls, frozen in place around her face. Her thick makeup, mini skirt, and tight, tank top made her look like a street whore. Maybe that’s what she had been to begin with, and he’d not noticed. “I’m extremely pissed at you, Jeremy. I told you...” She turned and leaned out into the hall, beckoning to someone he couldn’t see.

  Soon enough, three other guys joined them in his apartment. They were much bigger than Jeremy or Dano. One had very dark skin, almost black and kept his hair hidden under a dark-colored rag that wrapped around his forehead. The other had olive skin, much like Ollie’s, and long dark hair. He wore holey jeans and a faded band t-shirt that looked like it could have Led Zeppelin on it, very much like a dude from some 70s rock band. The third guy was bald and muscular with pinkish-white skin and small eyes. He reminded Jeremy of that wrestler, Sto
ne Cold Steve Austin, yet he had a feeling this guy wasn’t interested in splashing beer around, yelling at an audience, or rolling around on the mat with other guys.

  Star shut and locked the door behind them. They surveyed the place and talked to themselves about the furniture and the few empty boxes and trash bags in the corner. Looking around, Dano asked, “You moving out on us, Jeremy Ringer? Seems like you’re planning a move here.” He spread his arms out, taking in the emptiness of the apartment.

  “I told you. I’m only here to clean this place up and put it on the market. I’m going home tomorrow.” Jeremy crossed his arms in a useless act of defiance.

  “No, no, no.” Dano wiggled a finger at Jeremy. “That won’t do at all. Nope. You’re not going anywhere without us, lover boy.” He shoved Jeremy on the couch and kissed his cheek. “Don’t move.” He patted Jeremy on the head before joining the other guys and pointing stuff out to them. They nodded a lot and then unplugged the TV while Dano perused the rest of the apartment.

  “This is bullshit, Dano—” Dano cut him off with a stern look that promised violence.

  “Shut the fuck up before I really hurt you, surfer boy.”

  Jeremy feared what Dano might do and what he might have his big friends do. He didn’t know anything about fighting except that three or four on one would only mean pain for him. He could probably take Dano alone in a fair fight, but he was pretty damn sure Dano wouldn’t fight fair, and he wouldn’t be surprised to find a weapon or two on the man, either. Jeremy didn’t want to mess with that. He couldn’t trust Dano not to hurt or kill him on a whim.

  Once the TV had been unhooked, two of the guys picked it up. “That’s not even mine,” Jeremy complained.

  “I said shut up.”

  “Fine.” Jeremy crossed his arms over his chest and scowled at the goons leaving with his cousin’s TV. He’d find a way to pay him back for it. For everything. Then he worried about Scottie coming over in the morning and whether these guys would still be there. That had Jeremy resigned to sit there with his mouth shut, so maybe they’d get through it faster and go away.

  While the men ransacked the living room, Star opened and shut cabinets and drawers in the kitchen. “Don’t you have anything decent to drink in here? Damn, Jeremy. What kind of host are you?”

  Instead of answering, he pursed his lips tighter together.

  Dano glared at him for a moment, and then made an expression that couldn’t quite be called a smile. “Good boy. You finally get the picture.”

  Jeremy got the picture. He hoped they’d take what they wanted and leave. After a few minutes, the guys that took the TV came back in. They were bitching that there wasn’t anything else worth taking and raking Jeremy over with their eyes as if it were his fault.

  Surprisingly, Star came to his defense. “Leave him alone.” She sauntered out of the kitchen with the last of Christy’s gin in one hand and a glass in the other. She sat beside him on the couch and shook the bottle, watching the booze slosh around at the bottom before setting it on the coffee table. “I told you he was cleaning the place out. We should have moved on him last week.” Well, at least she sort of came to his defense.

  “That’s so like you, Jeremy Ringer. You give stuff away and then call the cops afterward saying we stoled it. I bet your family are afraid to come back here. But wait.” Dano’s eyes grew wide, and his mouth made an exaggerated Oh. “That means that we have to be worried, too. Are ya gonna call the cops after we leave, Jeremy? Or...”

  Jeremy didn’t like where Dano was going with this conversation. He could plead and beg and promise, but he didn’t think it would matter. Dano had already planned what he was going to do before he had even opened the door.

  “Stop,” Star giggled and bumped her shoulder into Jeremy’s. “He’s trying to scare you.”

  “Am I? You scared, Jeremy Ringer?”

  Jeremy glared at him. He couldn’t stop his facial expressions from giving away how much he hated Dano at the moment, but he wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of an argument.

  Jeremy’s cell phone buzzed in his pocket.

  “Aren’t you going to get that?” Dano asked.

  Jeremy shook his head.

  “Could be important...” Dano sing-songed, obviously enjoying Jeremy’s frustration way too much.

  “It’s nothing.”

  “Could be your cop boyfriend. Think we don’t know you’ve been fooling around with the wrong people?” He pulled out a switchblade and flicked it open, pointing the blade at Jeremy. “That’s another reason why you’re on my shit list, Jeremy Ringer.”

  The big black guy walked back into the living room carrying Jeremy’s duffle bag. He dropped it on the entertainment stand that used to hold the big TV. “Nothing. Crappy clothes. That’s all.”

  They didn’t find his watch. He had no idea how much it would be worth to these criminals, but to him? It was priceless.

  “Fine,” Dano pointed the knife at the big guy, then back to Jeremy. He opened his mouth to say something, but Jeremy’s phone buzzed again, interrupting. “That’s rude.”

  “Sorry.” Jeremy pulled his phone out and turned it off, but then Dano leaned over the coffee table and snatched it out of his hands. “This isn’t going to be worth shit, either. You can’t have an iPhone or something good? Samsung? What is this shit?”

  It was an off-brand knock-off. At first glance, it looked like a nice phone, but it wasn’t. Jeremy couldn’t afford that. He didn’t offer up an explanation.

  “I’m suddenly getting a very different picture of ya, surfer boy.” Dano shook his head and looked around the room. “I thought you were special. Well off. Endowed. But, no. You’re a piece o’ shit. Trash. Like the rest of us.” The last words hissed out of his mouth. “Ya wouldn’t even put out. I thought you were too good for me. Too good? Nah, you’re a selfish bastard. That’s whatcha are.” Dano stalked around the coffee table and leaned in, pressing Jeremy’s shoulder into the couch with a surprisingly strong hand. “Ya smell good...” He stuffed his knife back in his pocket then slapped Jeremy’s cheek lightly. “All clean shaven for your cop boyfriend.” Dano climbed up on the couch, over Jeremy, and straddled his thighs. “Were ya saving yourself for him? Is that why?” Dano leaned in closer, nuzzling his nose under Jeremy’s jaw.

  Jeremy turned his head and pursed his lips together. Dano’s touch disgusted him. He tucked his hands under his thighs to keep himself from doing anything stupid like shoving him to the ground.

  “If I wanted ya, I’d of had ya, Jeremy fucking Ringer.” He stood up and paced the living room, finally yanking out a chair from the little table still left in the dining area. He flipped it around backward and sat down. One of the other guys sat in another chair and emptied bags from his pocket onto the table.

  Star tapped his leg, and he looked up at her. She swirled the gin around in her glass. “Don’t worry about them.” She watched liquid slosh around. “I’m gonna need an alcohol run in a minute.”

  Jeremy screwed his eyes shut and tilted his head up. Damn. They were settling in, not leaving. He wanted them to go.

  Star turned and looked at him. “I’m still pissed at you. What you did.” She pointed one of the fingers holding the glass at him. “We have to get even with you for that. For Nick.” Even though her words were threatening, she didn’t sound mad, she sounded relaxed.

  Jeremy leaned in to look at her closer. Her pupils were dilated. “What are you on?” he asked quietly, but she closed her eyes, not bothering to even acknowledge him.

  He listened to the men talking softly at the table, unsure of how much time passed until the calm of the storm broke with a banging on his door. Jeremy jumped and looked over to the thugs around the table. Dano stood up and took a few steps toward the door. He lifted his shirt to show the butt of a gun poking out of his jeans and resting against the pale skin of his stomach. “Whoever it is, get rid of ‘em fast. Don’t let ‘em in or say anything stupid. Don’t think I won’t blow your fuck
ing brains out.”

  “Jesus,” Jeremy hissed, as he got up. “I don’t care about this. All this.” He motioned with his arms to take in the entire apartment. “I’m going home tomorrow. I told you I’m not from here. I only came to clean this place up, and you and your friends helped me finish the job. Thanks.”

  Another bang sounded on the door, demanding attention.

  Dano’s eyes narrowed. “Do it.” He pulled the gun out of his waistband and gestured to the door with it. “Get rid of them. Especially, if it’s your cop boyfriend.”

  Jeremy unlocked the door and opened it a crack, sticking his head out. Ollie’s soft, brown eyes stared back at him, wide and worried. “Oh! Hey, Scottie. Uh...You said you weren’t coming until tomorrow.” Jeremy’s voice was louder than normal.

  “What? J? Are you okay?”

  “Yeah. I was, um, sleeping. Come back tomorrow. Okay?”

  “Seriously, what’s wrong?” Ollie’s face paled, and he swallowed hard.

  “Uh... yeah, so can you stop by that shop and pick up my watch on the way here tomorrow? I forgot about it.”

  “Watch? J...”

  Jeremy gave a subtle head shake. “Okay. Bye. See you later.” He pulled his head back and shut the door but didn’t lock it. When he turned around, Dano stared at him like a dog looking at a nice, meaty bone. “Okay? No problem. My stupid cousin. That’s all.”

  “What about the watch?” That greedy fucker kept on pushing.

  “It’s a cheap fuckin’ knockoff. Like everything else I have. Seriously? I’m a fucking broke-ass bartender. What the fuck do you want from me?”

  “Everything you have.”

  Star mumbled something indecipherable, making Jeremy peel his eyes away from Dano. Across the room, the Latin rocker-dude slid the arm of Jeremy’s sunglasses inside the collar of his Zeppelin shirt and silently dared him to do something about it. Jeremy shook his head. “I don’t care. Take whatever you’re gonna take and get the fuck out.”

  That’s when Dano busted out laughing. Hard, red-faced laughing. The other guys in the room chuckled along with him, even though they probably had no idea what the fuck Dano was laughing about, either.